Saturday, August 23, 2025
i want to change the narrative around "arctic defence" in canada.
the tory media is increasingly telling me i need to sacrifice things to save the arctic from russia - things like health care, and a functioning civil service.
can you explain to me why, exactly, i would give a fuck if russia conquered baffin island? because i'm struggling to care.
i think we should call the yankees' bluff on this one and keep defence spending down to focus on heathcare and education instead. if they want to protect the arctic from russia, let them do it. i don't give a damn.
this is tricky.
the liberals are correct in pointing out that the counter-tariffs are stupid. putting tariffs on the united states is not a reaction to protect workers. counter-tariffs are also an attack on workers, or most of them are.
it is in our self-interest to determine which counter-tariffs are a shot in the foot and remove them. that is the correct thing to do - not as a concession, but because it is hurting us and it was a stupid reaction in the first place. i don't know who consults austin powers for economic advice.
however, the americans will interpret it as a concession and push back harder. that is also true, even though it isn't a concession.
tariffs are hard, and justin trudeau's not a smart guy. this is what happened.
my legs are sore from squatting yesterday.
my workspace isn't set up and probably won't get set up here at all, so i have a tabletop on the floor where my workbench should be. i had to squat to fix the windows 98 pc. it's booting into windows 98, i just have a few more minor tasks to finish before i can put it back where it was. this is a major relief for me. i actually had a god cry when it didn't boot, but i'm under a lot of stress.
last night was so disgusting it triggered my asthma, even with the windows open. i slept all day. i'm waking up limp like i should, but i can also hear them talking when i wake up, tricking themselves into thinking their therapy was successful because i stopped yelling at them, and it's extremely disconcerting.
i had a lot of things to do this week. after i get the studio area cleaned back up, i'll need to take the gparted cd (which i was taking out of the windows 98 pc. it sits in there because the machine does have a windows xp partition, and i find the best way to dual boot is to go into gparted and change the boot partition. the only other way that i know of is to install grub in a linux partition, but i'm actually using a pata hard drive (it's a p3b-f. this is a very good asus board from the late 90s. it has ide channels, no sata. so the dvd players are ide, too. it has a floppy connector.) and it's only about 80 gb. the triple boot with a linux partition might make sense if i had a larger drive, or wanted to use two drives. but my old psu couldn't handle two hard drives and two dvds at the same time. it doesn't matter. i need the machine to run the soundblaster live! with the input bay, which i need to finish period 3 recording projects. it will need to hold out at least that long.) back to the windows 7 laptop and see if i an get my usb key back.
i need the xp partition because windows 98 has difficulty reading usb keys. it can barely read dvd players. the board has two usb 1.1 slots on the back.
i need to get out to do things this weekend, hopefully. i am feeling and looking better, i just need my hair to behave.
Friday, August 22, 2025
i'm paranoid that it's booting into a virtual machine because there's this boot from network option i hadn't seen before, even with no network card.
i can't even figure out how to clear the cmos on this board. there's no jumper. there's support to be a pin to short, but it isn't even there at all.
this computer is old. however, based on what i learned about ime, i know that if somebody were psychotic enough to do this - as these losers are - simply flashing wouldn't be good enough. this board wasn't designed for this, so it doesn't even have these jumpers.
deep breaths.
it doesn't matter right now. i'm not using this device. just reassemble it and put it aside for later and get back to the usb key.
the gparted cd was in the tray for one of the dvd players in the windows 98 pc, so i went to turn it on to open the tray. no power. i disassembled the machine and realized the power supply was broken. i was immediately suspicious, as that shouldn't be the case. the idiots probably tried to overclock an asus p3b-f with a pentium III in it to play some kind of stupid video game. that's how they bricked my p5b.
this was a minor crisis because the motherboard has a 20-pin connector, and where can you find that kind of power supply today?
the answer is in a pc i found in the apartment when i moved in. yeah. what are the chances, right? in fact, they had the 20 pin psu plugged into a 24-pin board, so that had to be swapped out, anyways.
this is admittedly an old power supply. it's from 1999. it's visibly rusting. looking at it, the cables might have fallen out, just due to decomposition. i admit a new psu was a good idea, and it actually looks like the psu i found in the apartment (i asked and was told nobody owns it) is relatively new and unused. i was going to use this pc i found as a replacement for the 90s laptop, because the specs are almost identical and that's what i wanted to do anyways. i can buy a new 24-pin power supply for this pc for $20 or something; the 20-pin power supply would have been difficult to locate.
i swapped it out and it turned on and i pulled the gparted cd out. however, i still have to put it back together, which requires plugging it in and turning it on.
in addition to the psu being non-responsive, the cmos was apparently cleared and the hard drive wouldn't initially spin, although i got it to spin after a few tries. now, clearing this cmos is actually relatively difficult, as you have to take the battery out and short it with a screwdriver. no wonder the psu got damaged.
it's relatively clear that the machine was tampered with when i was out.
this ancient computer is extremely fragile and needs extreme care to continue to last. they already broke my old vintage laptop, which was sad but not catastrophic. if my windows 98 pc was lost, i would be shattered. it's my oldest friend. i love it dearly.
what do these barbaric idiots want from me?
it's just constant senseless destruction, with no purpose.
Thursday, August 21, 2025
i don't think the saudis are even smart enough to do this.
if i determine somebody put root access on this usb key remotely from a guest account on a chromebook, it's a very small list of suspects.
- americans
- israelis
- chinese
- russians
- germans
i don't have a good reason to think any of them would be after me, or any of them would pretend to be muslims in the process
it's more likely to be a rogue element working for organized crime. i think.
this happened this afternoon. i put the usb key into the device twice to log into facebook and cra and when i plugged it in a third time, it wouldn't read.
it's backed up, but i want to understand what happened, and if it can help me adjust.
what exactly do i do if i find out some rogue element in the saudi or some other arab government is stalking me to try to rape me? do i call the rcmp? do i call their embassy?
the cops are useless idiots.
i'm logged into this device as a guest.
it should be almost impossible to do this. but i'll have to see what the attributes are and react.
what do i know about these losers?
- they're muslims
- they appear to have access to unlimited wealth
- they appear to represent a government of some sort, or an organized crime network. these are basically the same thing.
the drive is fine. i pulled everything off of it - file by file - using recuva. no corruption.
i think this is what happened:
diskpart reads it as RAW. i can set the read-only flag to yes or no, put i can't change the current read-only state.
i'm going to boot my windows 7 laptop into gparted and see what it says. i'll then boot into arch using a recovery usb key and see if i can verify that the above is the case.
i don't know what the point of this. it's some stupid monkeys from a backwards religion trying to assert some kind of jungle logic.
it's a waste of my fucking time.
it would suggest that they have access to the root account on my chromebook, which i've suspected for a while. i would need to restore from firmware and probably flash my router, but i don't have fucking time for this. i don't want to waste my life doing this boring bullshit.
it looks like i should be able to recover the usb key they just mangled, but i have it backed up, regardless.
i think they put a write protection on the partition.
this is like stuxnet, or something. it's like a hardware worm. i don't have the slightest interest in this. it's a waste of my fucking time.
yeah, the hackers are back.
i don't know what they want. i'm a disabled person on welfare. i have nothing.
these are terrible fucking bullies and thugs. go prove how smart you are by beating up an impoverished disabled person, you fucking retard. fuck.
i understand what they're doing, but i have no interest in wasting my time getting modular on it. they've somehow found a way to hack my usb ports. they're breaking the file system on my usb keys, but they don't seem to be actually stealing data. the purpose is strictly destructive. they don't seem to want to steal, they just seem to want to break.
it's so senseless, so stupid.
i don't get it.
i think this is the position they should have taken from the start.
the "negotiation" should have always been to immediately release all hostages, or face complete and total destruction and annihilation. and they should have burned a few parts of gaza down to the ground to demonstrate the point.
you can't negotiate with barbarians, and you shouldn't try to. that is the lesson to learn from this sad affair.
there is a surface comparison between the swiss cheese settlements in palestine and the bantustans of apartheid. it sort of looked like israel was creating bantustans in the west bank, granted. however, the comparison was strictly based on the geography, not the motives, and it was a surface deep analysis that missed the point of what israel was doing, which was occupying land in a way that isolated palestinians from each other and prevented palestine from claiming it. that has essentially no similarity to the bantustans, which were intended as segregated areas for coerced and forced labourers.
i should clarify what i meant by "genocide in slow motion" when i started saying that roughly 20 years ago. i never meant that they intended to starve them like in the holocaust, or mass slaughter them like what happened to the armenians during world war one. i meant a cultural genocide, intended to chase them out and assimilate them over time. this would be something more like the genocide of the scots or welsh in the united kingdom, or the bretons in france.
the point i was trying to get across is that israel does not intend to enslave the arabs, it wants to get rid of them. that's a conceptual point people were confused about in using south african comparisons. in fact, when john kerry was secretary of state, he had the insight and initiative to realize that the absence of any kind of economy in the west bank essentially made statehood impossible, so he went out of his way to try to build factories that palestinians could work in, which would have almost entirely served the israeli market, and the israelis had a hissy fit because it was taking away jobs for jews and giving them to muslims. israel remains built on kibbutzes and the labour party. never forget that, and never forget where the jews escaped from. they are not likely to resort to enslaving anyone. i was seeking more descriptive language to get away from a bad analogy, mostly by following chomsky's lead. chomsky was visibly irritated by the south africa comparison and repeatedly explained why.
i have rejected the claims that israel is starving gazans. the evidence suggests the opposite. it's just factually wrong, no matter how much you dislike the israeli government.
you can define genocide strictly as per the geneva convention and that has legal value in it's place but it's never what i meant. i meant the broader idea of eliminating a culture, a language, a religion, etc through less overt or violent methods. it's not the same thing, but if the end result is the intentional elimination of palestine, it does remain genocide in the broader sense.
my hair is being extremely stubborn. i spent all day fighting with it and i'm making some progress but it's extremely dehydrated and needs to sit with conditioner for hours. i can still smell the bleach in my hair, which is suggesting it might have got stuck in it and dried in it.
i have extremely straight, thin hair and it gets tangled extremely easily for that reason and is also prone to breakage for that reason, which makes the tangles worse. it tends to be fine once i can wash it out, but something like a bleach job can generate a mess. unlike the other parts of my body, i can't clear the testosterone out of my hair. estrogen produces nicer, softer hair and testosterone makes your hair coarse and gross, but those changes happen at the root level. if anything, i might find that getting the testosterone out of my system might lead to breakage, as the hair will weigh more at the ends. this will take several years to fully turn back over, and it might have been the reason, in hindsight, why i had to shave my head in the first place.
if i realized this at the time, i wouldn't have done it. i thought it was the best way to fix the split ends, which seemed impossible. i didn't understand what was going on.
it should be another day or two, max, i think.
i still have a lot of canned and dried food, but my fridge is almost empty and i need to fill it up soon.
- june 16th: doubled up salsa with chick peas, cheese, spices and vitamins.
- june 17th: onion soup bacon poutine
- june 18th: basic doritos nachos and french onon soup with bacon
- june 19th: doubled up salsa reprise
- june 20th: caesar salad without subs
- june 21st: 2nd onion soup poutine with onion soup and last chance salad
- june 22rd: 3rd onion soup poutine with onion soup with beets
- june 23rd: caesar salad without subs
- june 24th: caesar salad without subs
- june 25th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa
- june 26th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa
- june 27th: ad hoc pad thai
- june 28th: broccoli soup
- june 29th: fridge-clearing meal (oranges & garlic bread)
- june 30th: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise
- july 1st: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise
- july 2nd: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise
- july 3rd: 10 packages of instant oatmeal, in 5 installments. spaghetti-os + spices & vitamins (cumin, cayenne, pepper, oregano, paprika, sunflower seed, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, frank's).
- july 4th: a can of stew and a can of corn, plus spices & vitamins.
- july 5th: a package of jasmine rice i had put aside as a quinoa sub (it probably isn't), with a can of peas and a can of tomato soup, plus spices and vitamins.
- july 6th: a can of beans cooked in a can of vegetable soup, plus spices and vitamins.
- july 7th: two cans of chicken noodle soup, plus spices and vitamins. tim's xl double-double coffee in morning. two builders protein mini bars in evening. 7-11 coffee with jalapeno taquito late at night.
- july 8th: food bank junk food eat through - two bags of "real vegetable chips" (one big, one small), a bag of goldfish crackers, one mini crispy crunch, some strawberry licorice, prime energy drink, two tim horton's donuts, little ceasar's pepperoni pizza with unlabelled chocolate milk product.
- july 9th: another prime energy drink with another unlabelled chocolate milk product, unlabelled food bank ginger bread (two loaves)
- july 10th: pasta with minor subs (1), third energy drink, sour cream n cheddar chips
- july 11th: sour cream 'n' bacon, sour cream 'n' onion chips
- july 12th: more licorice, pasta with minor subs (2)
- july 13th: jalapeno cheddar chips, pasta with minor subs (3)
- july 14th: 10 baby cookies, pasta with minor subs (4)
- july 15th: i ate most of the 14th pasta on the 15th and followed it with the remaining baby cookies (which are actually french butter cookies, not baby cookies. they look like baby cookies). i did not make pasta for the 15th.
- july 16th:. pasta with minor subs (5)
- july 17th: pasta with minor subs (6)
- july 18th (on the 19th): pasta with minor subs (7)
- july 19th (on the 20th): cereal (one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and an apple)
- july 20th (on the 21st): pasta with minor subs (8)
- july 21st (on the 22nd): pasta with minor subs (9)
- july 22nd: cereal day 2 in cycle 2 (final cycle 2 cereal day): one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and two apples, one in the oatmeal and one standalone.
- july 23rd: cereal day 1 in cycle 3
- july 24: pasta with minor subs (10)
- july 25: cereal day 2 in cycle 3, same as 22 and 23, with the addition of 6 mini apple sauce containers.
- july 26: pasta with minor subs (11)
- july 27th - guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white bread with plum better.
- july 28th: pasta with minor subs (12)
- july 29th: guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white toast with olive oil margarine, and then two pieces of white bread with plum butter after. four more pieces of white bread, with plum butter and strawberry jam.
- july 30th: pasta with minor subs (13), including fried chicken for salami.
- july 31st: a larger piece of fried chicken alone. pasta with minor subs (14), including a mix of buffalo and chicken for salami. six pieces of white bread for peanut butter and strawberry jam.
- aug 1st: four pieces of white bread and the rest of the peanut butter. quinoa without subs (on aug 3rd).
- aug 2nd: four marshmallows, two bananas and a chocolate bar. quinoa without subs (on aug 3rd).
- aug 3rd: pasta with minor subs (15), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami (on aug 4th). two pieces of toasted italian bread.
- aug 4th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (on aug 5th)
- aug 5th: pasta with minor subs (16), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami. two pieces of toasted italian bread. (on aug 6th)
- aug 6th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn (on aug 7th).
- aug 7th: monterrey jack tuna salad melt with bowl of cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (on aug 8th).
- aug 8th: pasta with minor subs (17), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (on aug 9th)
- aug 9th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn wth cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (on aug 10th).
- aug 10th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (on aug 11th)
- aug 11th: pasta with minor subs (18), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (early on aug 12th)
- aug 12th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (at midnight on aug 13th)
- aug 13th: pasta with minor subs (19), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (early on aug 14th)
- aug 14th: potatoes with gravy, cheese, sour cream, bacon and dill (early on aug 15th). no av.
- aug 15th: onion soup + side salad (as posted) (late on aug 15th). no av.
- aug 16th: potatoes with gravy, cheese, sour cream, bacon and dill (early on aug 17th). no av.
- aug 17th: onion soup (mid day on aug 17th) and side salad (as posted) with two pieces of toast (early on aug 18th). no av.
- aug 18th: pasta with minor subs (20), including bacon for salami (early on aug 19th). no av. no juice.
- aug 19th: pasta with minor subs (21), including orange/lime for pineapple and bacon for salami (early on aug 20th). no av. no juice.
- aug 20th & 21st: cereal day 1 & 2 from cycle 4 together in one big bowl. (mid-day on aug 20th)
Wednesday, August 20, 2025
i will eventually narrate some of these stories in the liner notes when i can finally get back to work.
like, for example, the time i stole the school mascot, blew it up with a stick of dynamite and put it back in it's official resting place.
they thought it was an attack by the rival school across town.
i remember about 1995 or so, one of my dad's friends tried to tell a joke.
netscape and yahoo recently announced a merger to take place in israel. do you know what the company will be called?
i waited about 10 seconds for somebody else to get it, a lesson i'd been taught by my grade five teacher, who was pissed off that i answered all the questions, often sarcastically, and wanted me to shut the fuck up.
netanyahu, i said.
the guy looked at me, stunned. i was about 15.
that was thirty years ago, which is an unusual amount of time for anybody to stay active in politics, anywhere.
the difficult part about this is that netanyahu is essentially right.
however, he should tone it down. the bunker mentality has the potential for unintended consequences and verbally attacking people with anti-jewish biases doesn't help anything.
netanyahu is nearing the end of is career and potentially of his life. he will need to leave the job of reairing relations to his successor. he should focus on what's in front of him, and not concern himself with the perceptions of those in far off or far flung places.
i'm not old enough to remember it, really. i remember the 1992 election. i remember george w. bush. i vaguely remember ronald reagan, but not really.
i remember getting the berlin wall and the wall by pink floyd confused. i thought they were the same thing, initially. the innocence of youth.
to adults that lived through it, the end of the cold war must have been a terrible disappointment. the whole world was waiting for the car crash to happen so they could see the carnage, and it didn't happen. everyone survived. what a downer.
what's next?
do we get jobs and start families? i thought we were all going to die soon. this sucks.
it's like the most inverted form of existential dread imaginable. it must have been an incredibly depressing moment, to realize we're all going to live after all, and there's not going to be this catastrophic war.
then 2014 happened, and it must have all come rushing back in this deep flood of optimism that we can all die horrible deaths after all. fuck this bullshit. let's all finally kill each other. hooray!
how much of this is conscious and how much is subconscious, i don't know. i know that you can kind of see it in the eyes of these people, and it's a different thing than the old men. biden has to be the last dinosaur, and for him, he was settling scores, like it always was in the 60s, the 70s, the 80s. this younger generation is different - they have a real death wish. the return of meaninglessness is of immeasurable value to them. they get giddy about it, as though their childhood fantasies are finally unfolding before their eyes.
take that ruskie. bang. boom. pow. shit, where's the bathroo...too late.
my heart is in gen x. really. but, it's sort of important that the broader western world realizes that star wars and rocky and rambo just irreversibly warped a generation of young men. we need generational overturn, and fast.
if finland and sweden hadn't joined nato, they'd be obvious choices to potentially provide security in ukraine, given that ukraine was initially founded as a swedish colony. that said, i'm not sure how that could actually work in a way that makes sense.
the necessity of ending this before it accidentally goes nuclear should be apparent to any sane person, and i have little doubt that trump was sincere. i think perhaps he didn't fully understand the issues. he seems to now.
the russians are doing what they have to do, which doesn't mean that putin isn't an asshole. he is. he's cynical, he's viciously logical and he's oppressively cruel when he needs to be. it's hard for anybody with lofty ideals to walk away from putin without being at least a little bit crushed, and trump is hardly an idealist.
there's not going to be a meeting between putin and zelensky. everybody knows that.
if the war is inevitable, and your opponent is a cynical logic machine, the only thing left to do is profit. you can't blame the americans - the europeans want a war.
Tuesday, August 19, 2025
on some level, income taxes are kind of stupid, because you're not really taxing labour. labour doesn't generate wealth, directly. income taxes are in truth taxes on property, and are in reality paid for by the employers, not the workers. income taxes are taxes on the profit of the employers, not taxes on the labour by workers. income taxes are consequently a kind of hidden corporate tax. you could just cut wages and shift the tax burden to the employer and it wouldn't make any difference in terms of collecting taxes, but it would help in eliminating ignorant attitudes in the working class. when you put the income tax on a person's pay check, you trick uneducated workers into thinking the money is being taken out of their wages. this can have extremely negative social effects, as it can generate poor attitudes about government in the working class.
my understanding is that this was initially done to show the workers that the government does something for them. it's supposed to make the workers say "i'm buying government services with my taxes, so my taxes are justified". instead, it tends to harbour resentment in the working class, which misunderstands who is paying the tax and thinks it's getting ripped off. this has backfired and should be undone.
the only deduction on a pay check should really be for public pensions. income taxes should be shifted to employer taxes, instead. it's a trivial accounting shift that only happens on paper, as employers are the ones that truly pay income taxes, anyways. you'd do this by asking employers to pay a kind of head tax based on the number of workers they employ, and the number of hours those workers worked. if the employer pays out x number of hours of labour at n % income tax, it would pay x*n% in taxes. it would need to file that with cra at the end of the year, and workers would still need to send their stubs in to verify their hours worked, but the actual taxes would be done and paid for by the employer, not the employee. tax credits would work functionally the same way.
this would lead to stagnating or declining wages (not real wages, though.) for a while until it balanced out, but you would hope it would lead to more positive attitudes in the working class about the value and function of government services, in the long run.
today was a cloudy, humid, cool rainy day. i like rainy days, just not every day. we haven't had a day like this here since june. days like this tend to generate a vicious ache in my stomach, which is due to apparent sensitivity to atmospheric pressure, and consequently knock me out for hours at a time. however, the increased humidity in the air, which is noticeable, also helped speed up the rehydration process, which is just about finished.
i have been waking up limp the last few days. it seems to be out of my system. i'm just about ready to get another blood test, which is key to the package of documents i'm presenting to police to get this creep arrested with.
i wanted to get something done today, but instead spent it sleeping, due to the weather. i should be able to get something done tomorrow.
so, that's what we're supposed to accept as truth - that little innocent ukraine was attacked by the big bully russia for no reason, and nato is coming in to protect them, and without any interests in the region of their own.
that's the statist narrative. we're supposed to believe and repeat that.
ok.
i'm just trying to understand the western media narrative.
does it expect that people are so ignorant and misinformed that they don't understand what the war is about, and actually believe that putin is just a bloodthirsty dictator out to conquer the world for self-aggrandizement?
i suppose that if you push the following line continually, that ukraine was randomly attacked for no reason, then it follows that putting nato troops in ukraine to protect them from random russian thuggery is being done for security and protection, rather than conquest and expansion.
but, what kind of reader or viewer would be that ignorant? if you're going to read the news at all, you'd think you'd at least have a basic understanding of what was happening.
i remember the old quip from a few decades ago that fox news viewers were less informed about events than people that didn't watch the news at all. it seems like that might be the expectation about people that watch any news, nowadays.
the romans - intelligently - realized that there were endless streams of perpetual barbarian hordes. you could fight one horde to the death, only to get ambushed by the next one. trying to actually defeat the barbarians was a sisyphean task of endless futility that made existence mundane. you can't be an artist, or a philosopher, if you have to waste your whole life fighting barbarians.
instead, they'd get the barbarians to fight each other. they'd trick them, constantly. they'd get one group to make deals against the other, they'd spread false rumours (did you know that gog, leader of the gazundhites, is gay? or that his family dresses like peasants?....who say this about gog? grrrrrar. the gazundhites will blow you out of existence.....), they'd arm both sides, or pay one group to protect them, and the other to fight. they set up a kind of conveyor belt so that the closest barbarian was always fighting the next furthest one, but then they'd always make sure the closest one would lose by turning on the closest one, and then getting the one that replaces it as the new closest onr to fight the next furthest one. this was referred to as imperial treachery, and it was like something out of a long running saturday morning cartoon. i'll get you next time, basileus!
so, the history is full of these tactics utilized to get the barbarians to fight each other instead, and it was always just to get them to war outside of the empire instead of in it.
hey, it worked for a thousand years. in the end, it was really the french that destroyed them, not the turks, and the romans made the mistake of letting the french in the city. their tactics didn't fail them. they got stabbed in the back.
there's no logic in the way the west expects putin to respond.
logically, putin should escalate first. there's a lot of things the russians have refused to do, like bomb out bridges, because the idea is to deflect the war to ukraine (the borderland) rather than fight it head-on in russia. putin isn't trying to conquer ukraine, he's just trying to keep the fighting out of russia, proper.
it's an old roman barbarian management tactic: the barbarians are going to fight you and there's not much you can do to stop it, so you keep the barbarians fighting away from the cities, instead of near them.
if ukraine is ordering 100 billion dollars of weapons, russia needs to treat this more like an actual war and try not a distraction mechanism, and try to win rather than just burn them out.
Monday, August 18, 2025
this is right out of orwell.
it's being presented as a peace proposal, but, as we know, WAR IS PEACE.
the purpose of the war was to prevent european armies from moving in to ukraine, which was imminent in 2014. that is the cause of the war - nato expansion to ukraine. the media is presenting the cause as a solution.
the way to read this is that nato is in truth looking to escalate the war, and that's how the russians will interpret it. trump is presenting himself as facilitating peace, but he's actually facilitating arms sales to european buyers, and using the conflict as a way to increase sales. this is about selling tanks and planes to europe.
you can and should expect the russians to completely reject the "peace talks", which are in truth a major escalation by nato. the media will blame it on putin not wanting peace, when the opposite is the truth.
it's not clear what agreements were made with the russians regarding the issue, or if the united states may be taking a position of arming both sides, in an attempt to weaken the europeans. that will come out in time.
winners: american arms industry.
losers: europe, and especially ukraine.
police should not be making arrests without warrants.
there's a reform of the system that engler can run on - overhauling the criminal code to force officers to get warrants before they make arrests, unless they witness a crime directly.
a judge would not have ordered this arrest. this is probably more about a thuggish cop trying to be dominant than it is about the conservative party shutting down an activist.
the ndp was just about dead. really.
but i don't want to have to spend the next ten years nitpicking yves engler, who has written some not so accurate things over a long period. if he wins this nomination, you can at least expect he won't suck mark carney's cock for status, but i would expect he'd have a hard time winning a seat anywhere in the country. that would be a nail in the party's coffin.
it's a shame they threw charlie angus out.
they should go with somebody in a safer seat, if there even are any, like peter julian.
tuesday, march 8, 2022
it is certainly interesting to see tara reade show up in the op-ed section of sputnik.
3:18
i always like drawing attention to pictures of representatives in the midst of conflicts, because you really do represent yourself with your appearance.
this is a shot of russian and ukrainian "delegations", pulled from russian media:
the russians are all wearing tailored suits, and look very business-like and professional; the ukrainian side seems to have been constructed by a kijiji ad seeking actors to play crazy uncles, and looks like it's dressed to live in a bomb shelter, to protect itself from imaginary threats imposed by a right-wing conspiracy theory. they couldn't even bother to shave.
you might suggest this is trite, but i'd strongly counter that - this is real, and this is what you're seeing: a corporation bombing a country that has collectively morphed into a bunch of fringe lunatics.
3:27
who wears a baseball cap to a meeting?
3:30
i want to see such a thing form - the crazy uncle ukrainian army.
insignia: CRUNK UA.
3:33
and, apparently, there are crazy uncles everywhere that are just dying to sign up, too.
3:35
crazy uncles of the world, unite!
you have nothing to lose but your canes.
3:40
you know all these crazy uncles have been waiting for this day, where they can go fight the ruskies, for their whole fucking lives, right?
3:42
fwiw, that article addresses a point about the russians opening humanitarian corridors directly to russia by accusing ukrainian militias, who are not under the command of the ukrainian army, of not obeying cease-fires. given the history of the fighting in the region, this is a believable accusation, but, even so, it's not the point.
in a situation like this, both armies want to be the ones that show up with water, first. most people have little understanding of what's really happening, and will align with the side that addresses their personal concerns. so, the russians want to be the ones that show up and distribute aid, and the french, particularly, are trying to get in and offer that aid, themselves.
that's a signal that some concept of rationality is returning to the russian command, which has been behaving uncharacteristically.
4:28
so, ukraine calls israel and asks them to mediate.
israel announces that it's willing to "provide refuge" for thousands of educated ukrainian jews.
hey, zelensky - how much for the shirt on your back?
8:34
nonono, let's understand what poland sending planes to ukraine is about.
1) it's been a while since poland bought new planes. i mean, they have planes.
2) it's surely understood that the russians will quickly bomb them out.
3) poland will therefore have to buy more planes.
4) poland gets massive us subsidies to buy planes.
5) us weapons contractors get a major contract to supply planes to poland.
this is what nato expansion actually seems to be about, and if it requires ukraine to get blown up, lockheed martin certainly doesn't give a fuck. the russians are really just giving them the pretext they need to force these countries to buy more weapons.
it's like a mafia-style extortion tactic, and this is how america keeps the region under domination.
it's not like the russians don't have grounds, here. but, they really seem to fundamentally not get it, because they're just not integrated into western finance capital. remember: putin isn't a communist or a fascist, he's actually a pretty textbook conservative. so, he predictably doesn't grasp debt.
23:58
wednesday, march 9, 2022
and, is canada going to get sucked into it, too?
well, you can be sure that those slimy salesmen from lockheed and raytheon will be knocking on rideau cottage's front door, and no doubt in plain view.
if i can vote on the matter, it will be to tell them to fuck off.
0:04
poland, particularly, is a victim of a classic mafia extortion tactic, as perpetrated by the west.
and, will the west show up to protect poland?
i wouldn't sacrifice a single hair on my head to protect poland.
0:11
poland, particularly, is a victim of a classic mafia extortion tactic, as perpetrated by the west.
and, will the west show up to protect poland?
i wouldn't sacrifice a single hair on my head to protect poland.
5:31
ok, i think i'm starting to get my head around what the russians are doing.
so, clearly there are russian forces in ukraine. but, what the russians are framing the situation as is that they are fighting not on their own behalf, but on the direction of the separatist movements. so, the russians have not occupied the south of ukraine; the newly independent region of the donbas has captured the south of ukraine, with russian logistical support.
so, then the russians sit the ukrainians down and say "recognize the donbas", but what that means is recognizing the donbas + the territorial expansion into the regions around the sea of azov, at least.
it's not entirely clear how they work this out, in the end. maybe russia takes an oblast or two, or maybe crimea even ends up in the new country.
but, the end result is a very cold-war like - think korea or vietnam - partition of the country into russian and european sections, each with their respective puppet governments.
8:22
i try to avoid making friends. i've learned hard lessons and realize i'm a little naive.
i like the idea of friendship, but friendship is fundamentally incompatible with market economics. capitalism makes friendship impossible and capitalism couldn't exist in a society where people understood class solidarity.
i adjust by keeping to myself and avoiding humans, but i don't blame us. i don't blame the biology. i don't think it's human nature. we're brainwashed by the system, and most of us don't really get it, but it makes it impossible to really trust anybody, and i don't. you have to maintain a certain level of paranoia in this culture in order to survive in it.
have you noticed the little blonde girl in the photos of starving palestinians?
if seen some redheads in the pictures, too.
i'm not sure how to react to claims that the pictures are faked, but there are apparently claims that the photos were taken in germany by a pr company.
a pr company would do that, if they were trying to influence americans, and i know that because it's been done before. little blonde kids are more effective as propaganda. that's obvious.
i have no ability to ascertain what's real and what isn't. i can point out that the pictures look a little off.
here we go again.
i am almost out of everything - bell peppers, cheese, pineapple, broccoli, bread, etc. the last food bank visit was july 7/8/9.
this will be shifting directions somewhat.
- june 16th: doubled up salsa with chick peas, cheese, spices and vitamins.
- june 17th: onion soup bacon poutine
- june 18th: basic doritos nachos and french onon soup with bacon
- june 19th: doubled up salsa reprise
- june 20th: caesar salad without subs
- june 21st: 2nd onion soup poutine with onion soup and last chance salad
- june 22rd: 3rd onion soup poutine with onion soup with beets
- june 23rd: caesar salad without subs
- june 24th: caesar salad without subs
- june 25th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa
- june 26th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa
- june 27th: ad hoc pad thai
- june 28th: broccoli soup
- june 29th: fridge-clearing meal (oranges & garlic bread)
- june 30th: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise
- july 1st: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise
- july 2nd: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise
- july 3rd: 10 packages of instant oatmeal, in 5 installments. spaghetti-os + spices & vitamins (cumin, cayenne, pepper, oregano, paprika, sunflower seed, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, frank's).
- july 4th: a can of stew and a can of corn, plus spices & vitamins.
- july 5th: a package of jasmine rice i had put aside as a quinoa sub (it probably isn't), with a can of peas and a can of tomato soup, plus spices and vitamins.
- july 6th: a can of beans cooked in a can of vegetable soup, plus spices and vitamins.
- july 7th: two cans of chicken noodle soup, plus spices and vitamins. tim's xl double-double coffee in morning. two builders protein mini bars in evening. 7-11 coffee with jalapeno taquito late at night.
- july 8th: food bank junk food eat through - two bags of "real vegetable chips" (one big, one small), a bag of goldfish crackers, one mini crispy crunch, some strawberry licorice, prime energy drink, two tim horton's donuts, little ceasar's pepperoni pizza with unlabelled chocolate milk product.
- july 9th: another prime energy drink with another unlabelled chocolate milk product, unlabelled food bank ginger bread (two loaves)
- july 10th: pasta with minor subs (1), third energy drink, sour cream n cheddar chips
- july 11th: sour cream 'n' bacon, sour cream 'n' onion chips
- july 12th: more licorice, pasta with minor subs (2)
- july 13th: jalapeno cheddar chips, pasta with minor subs (3)
- july 14th: 10 baby cookies, pasta with minor subs (4)
- july 15th: i ate most of the 14th pasta on the 15th and followed it with the remaining baby cookies (which are actually french butter cookies, not baby cookies. they look like baby cookies). i did not make pasta for the 15th.
- july 16th:. pasta with minor subs (5)
- july 17th: pasta with minor subs (6)
- july 18th (on the 19th): pasta with minor subs (7)
- july 19th (on the 20th): cereal (one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and an apple)
- july 20th (on the 21st): pasta with minor subs (8)
- july 21st (on the 22nd): pasta with minor subs (9)
- july 22nd: cereal day 2 in cycle 2 (final cycle 2 cereal day): one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and two apples, one in the oatmeal and one standalone.
- july 23rd: cereal day 1 in cycle 3
- july 24: pasta with minor subs (10)
- july 25: cereal day 2 in cycle 3, same as 22 and 23, with the addition of 6 mini apple sauce containers.
- july 26: pasta with minor subs (11)
- july 27th - guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white bread with plum better.
- july 28th: pasta with minor subs (12)
- july 29th: guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white toast with olive oil margarine, and then two pieces of white bread with plum butter after. four more pieces of white bread, with plum butter and strawberry jam.
- july 30th: pasta with minor subs (13), including fried chicken for salami.
- july 31st: a larger piece of fried chicken alone. pasta with minor subs (14), including a mix of buffalo and chicken for salami. six pieces of white bread for peanut butter and strawberry jam.
- aug 1st: four pieces of white bread and the rest of the peanut butter. quinoa without subs (on aug 3rd).
- aug 2nd: four marshmallows, two bananas and a chocolate bar. quinoa without subs (on aug 3rd).
- aug 3rd: pasta with minor subs (15), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami (on aug 4th). two pieces of toasted italian bread.
- aug 4th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (on aug 5th)
- aug 5th: pasta with minor subs (16), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami. two pieces of toasted italian bread. (on aug 6th)
- aug 6th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn (on aug 7th).
- aug 7th: monterrey jack tuna salad melt with bowl of cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (on aug 8th).
- aug 8th: pasta with minor subs (17), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (on aug 9th)
- aug 9th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn wth cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (on aug 10th).
- aug 10th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (on aug 11th)
- aug 11th: pasta with minor subs (18), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (early on aug 12th)
- aug 12th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (at midnight on aug 13th)
- aug 13th: pasta with minor subs (19), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (early on aug 14th)
- aug 14th: potatoes with gravy, cheese, sour cream, bacon and dill (early on aug 15th)
- aug 15th: onion soup + side salad (as posted) (late on aug 15th)
- aug 16th: potatoes with gravy, cheese, sour cream, bacon and dill (early on aug 17th)
- aug 17th: onion soup (mid day on aug 17th) and side salad (as posted) with two pieces of toast (early on aug 18th)
- aug 18th: should be the last pasta with minor subs (20) before shifting direction
now that i'm stabilizing, i need to think carefully about tactics.
i've decided i need to make a decision by sept 1 at the latest as to how i'm getting out of here. it's very frustrating, because this apartment is potentially ideal for me. it's better than the previous space. it's big and it's relatively cheap and i like the location. i could potentially get a lot of work done here, but i can't shake these losers that are stalking me. they won't go away. they want to steal my belongings, and they're apparently trying to have sex with me, which i thoroughly and adamantly and vigorously reject. worse, i'm increasingly convinced that the police are directly involved as payback for what happened in 2018, and that i may be a victim of direct political persecution for my opinions, for my gender expression and for my refusal to do what i'm fucking told. i have fought the system and been generally successful, so the system broke all of the rules to retaliate against me, as any mafia entity would. we live in a free society so long as we don't try to be free in it. it's this kind of illusion that's just far enough in front of you that you can't touch it, and that evaporates as soon as you reach your arm out to try. i made the mistake of trying to be free, and the state is viciously punishing me for it.
i'm really just a completely harmless artist trying to live a free existence on a minimal subsidy, and that is the state's worst nightmare. our government will recognize terrorist groups as legitimate governing bodies, but as soon as you put somebody wanting to be free in front of it, it resorts to the worst and most oppressive tendencies of it's colonial past.
so what do i do? how do i adjust? how do i learn? how do i adapt? how do i survive? how do i get out of this?
i made a choice quite a while ago that i was going to focus on the writing in building the liner notes up from 1989-1996. that is the first priority, when i get back to work. maybe i don't need all of my gear directly accessible to me at all times, for right now. maybe i could put it back in storage while i wait for this mess to work itself out and just focus on the writing instead. it's $200/month. that's the same as the canada disability benefit, which is coming. i could use the disability benefit to pay to put my stuff in storage and rent a smaller place until i think the situation is safe to move back out, maybe to a different city. i strongly suspect that this would get rid of them, although it may take a little while for them to lose interest.
i want to keep my options open for the next two weeks. if i don't find a way out by the first, i'm going to need to spend the first few days of september getting my stuff out to storage as a dominant priority, and focus on trying to find a smaller place to live to just write in, for now.
the only end to this situation will need to be to get these people arrested. it's the only solution. i have clear proof and the police are ignoring it. i don't know yet if this is due to incompetence, due to prejudice, due to laziness or due to corruption, or due to all four. however, if the police are directly involved, it could take a while to get to that endpoint and i may need to adjust to that. i may need to work around police to get to the crown to force them to make the arrest rather than with or through the police. the police are contributing to the problem, not contributing to the solution.
that would lead to me suing the police, and i'd have to take the cash from that lawsuit and use it to leave the city.
Sunday, August 17, 2025
i don't think i've been drugged again with steroids, since i identified the hot sauce. something weird happened on the night of the 11th, but right now it doesn't seem like it was steroids. i'm suspicious that it might have been something else, like dopamine or noradrenaline. i also have elevated cortisol levels, and thought that was obvious, too, in addition to the elevated testosterone. i have from the very start suspected a drug of this nature, and only thought testosterone was involved later. i initially thought i was breathing in meth and then thought they were drugging me with mdma.
they may be drugging me with an evolving cocktail of drugs to get to a desired outcome. i might be the victim of some kind of nazi experiment.
i didn't have stomach hair, or prickly leg hair, or any of the other symptoms of being recently drugged.
i ended up lathering my face over with salicylic acid three nights in a row and then taking a very long shower today, and it essentially burned my face off and took the ingrowns out with it, but now i need to heal. this is a complication of the previous drugging, not evidence of new drugging.
the evidence of new drugging is something i'd describe as a feeling of increased blood flow. i have not had this accompanied with any kind of discernible unwanted erection, except briefly while defecating. rather, i've woken up a couple of times since the 11th with what i might describe as noticing increased blood flow to the region while sleeping, and hearing people speaking to me in the process. this has left me flustered and agitated, because harassment is still harassment, even if it doesn't work. i want them to leave me alone. i'm sick and fucking tired of this. the more bothersome consequence is that i'm then experiencing something i believe is called persistent genital arousal disorder for about two hours after i wake up. i do not expect i'd be able to get any sort of erection while awake if i wanted to, if i tried, but the pgad is painful and annoying, nonetheless. it's this remnant tingling sensation that i want to go away and don't know how to get rid of. it passes a few hours after waking up.
there was the 30% priapism and 10 second erections that were clearly the result of being drugged. i woke up hard with the ten second erections, and that should be completely impossible, and the 30% priapism was some kind of viagra or something that didn't work but kept trying. what has been happening since the 11th is a two second experience that is described as experiencing some blood flow to the area as a result of the harassment, and generating pgad due to some other hormone (it might be the progesterone i'm taking myself, which is why i'm pausing) without creating anything i'd identify as any sort of discernible erection. it's maybe a 10% erection, at most, but numbers under 30% seem difficult to describe as an erection at all. it's noticeable blood flow generating annoying and painful arousal, but not generating any kind of male sexual response.
it's going to take a few more days to scrub the dead skin off of my face, and it's half my fault because i used the acid to burn the ingrowns off. i should be able to get out soon.
i only received one response to all of the ads i responded to, but it might be a good response.
i had previously tried to determine some connection between bowel movements, constipation and sexual arousal and couldn't find one. i tried again tonight and google returned an answer quite quickly.
there's a nerve called the pudendal nerve that's responsible for functions in the general area and a condition called pudendal nerve compression that may be caused by cycling. you can identify this with an mri.
i'm not there yet, and it would be an incomplete answer. i have already proved that i've been drugged, although i don't know by who and it's not entirely clear how. i am certain i'm being harassed while sleeping. however, i have been experiencing weird symptoms over the last few days that are not quite suggestive of having been drugged recently and seem a little bit unrealistic for lingering drugs remaining in my system. i have consistently tied these to my digestive symptom.
i don't think it's one or the other, i think it's both, but i'm holding off on the blood test, because neither answer seems to be quite right. i want to either get further proof i was drugged, perhaps in my foot, or i want a clean test.
you can kind of have it one way or the other.
either the court treats it as a private sector issue, in which case it has no jurisdiction or the court treats it as a public sector issue, in which case the nurse needs to restrict herself from engaging in political activity online.
you can't have it both ways.
as a transgendered person, i don't really care about this person's opinion, and i don't feel threatened by their decision to expose their own ignorance in public. a correct free speech position is that you let the ignorant expose themselves, to their own detriment. i'm confident that her opinions are not going to help her in life. i'd be just as happy to essentially leave it at that, and ignore her.
however, this looks like a fairly complicated issue for the reason that the professional oversight body is actually a government agency. generally, government would avoid getting itself involved in a conflict like this, because the actual free speech and expression issue is the private sector body's ability to set professional standards. free speech, in context, belongs to both sides, and the woman would need to accept the consequences of her decision to run her mouth of. for government to intervene in any way would be to infringe the speech rights of one or both parties.
in this case, what the court is probably going to do is determine whether the superior court has any jurisdiction to intervene in the decisions made by the body and cite vavilov to decide that it doesn't. the current precedent in canada is that courts aren't supposed to intervene in decisions of this sort essentially at all. it's up to the regulatory body to decide it's own standards. but, i disagree with this, as it is a breakdown in the functioning of law, and think it is fundamentally legally wrong in almost all cases. it's probably the worst case law in canadian history, and will be remembered as a catastrophe when it's overturned.
i would rather point towards the general restriction on political activity (which is what this is) by members of the public service. public sector workers are not supposed to engage in political activity of any sort.
while it should be up the oversight body to set it's own standards, the legal question is whether her views are infringing on her ability to do her job, and i think there's a good argument that they probably are. i've dealt with heath workers that hold discriminatory attitudes and seen first hand how it can impede their ability to provide care. that is an issue of importance that needs to be taken seriously.
i just noticed they made a new movie of the running man as an update of the 80s film.
that was one of my favourite short stories, as a kid. it's pretty creepy how closely it foreshadowed the more dystopian developments in capitalist mainstream culture after 2001.
i don't watch many films nowadays. i probably won't watch the new one.
if you get a chance, read the story. it's in a large compilation called the bachman books, which includes three other short stories, including once called the long walk, which is arguably a better version of the same story.
Saturday, August 16, 2025
i don't know why this is so complicated in canada.
the rental market is experiencing a market failure. when a sector has market failure, governments need to step in.
we need governments to build more apartments, not the private sector. this is obvious. the longer it takes for that to happen, the worse it will be.
the government has indicated it's moving on this, finally, and i hope it is, but it hasn't happened yet.
unfortunately, it seems as though the hostages taken by hamas are nearing total death. while this is unfortunate, it also signals the long overdue, final end of this sordid, twisted mess.
hamas has been absurdly holding on to hostages for almost two years in the delusion that they will negotiate sovereignty out of the process. israel is not going to give them that. as a result, the hostages are going to starve to death, if there are any still alive at all.
hamas had better expect that they will have hell to pay at that point. why would israel negotiate further with them at all?
the next step, once the hostages are confirmed to be dead, will need to be complete annihilation. it must be. the only thing preventing it has been an attempt to exchange the hostages for leniency, out of pity. when that ceases, the only thing left to do is burn the remaining city down to the ground and bulldoze it into the sea.
hamas might want to think that through.
it's probably already too late, and they will need to face justice, as they deserve it.
i don't understand why people are having such difficulty with this. i suspect it's disingenuous.
let me explain again.
i am all of these monikers, screen names and pseudonyms, and many others, and have a long history on the internet going back to about 1996.
- inri (1996-1999)
- deathtokoalas (2006ish-)
- dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja, and varations (2008ish-)
- jessica amber murray (2008ish-)
- jessica murray (2008ish- )
- jessica parent (2008ish-)
- jason parent (1996-2008ish)
- the trivial group (2004ish-)
- lysistra
- the koala central command (2016-)
- the koala oversight committee (2022-)
- deny everything
- jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
- j
- jaysicka
- inanna
- tetris
all of the pictures are of me; i am the photographer and the model. all of the vlogs are recorded, directed, narrated and acted out by me. all of the music is composed, performed and produced by me. all of the writing, researching, editing, analysis, debate, fact checking, debunking and typesetting is mine. the opinions expressed are solely my own and do not reflect the opinions of anybody else, except where noted. all of the web design is by me. etc.
it's
all
me.
one person.
that's it.
there is a project, rabit is wolf, that was formed in collaboration with another person, who recorded some vocal demos. while those vocal demos are still available, the vocal contributions were not used for the final recordings, and the individual was removed from the project in the end, which is now also composed, performed, produced and engineered strictly by me.
this is not complicated at all. it's easy, peazy.
it's me. all of it.
that is all.
i have been waking up fully limp recently, which is positive and indicates the drugs are out of my system. i'm also extremely exhausted, which i'm hoping is a good sign.
i meant to get out and do a number of things last week but couldn't get out anywhere because my hair is a mess and because it's taking longer than i thought to get the documents in order. i lost yesterday altogether due to sleeping, spent friday morning applying for apartments, slept a lot on thuesday morning after eating and after talking to my doctor on wednesday afternoon, spent wednesday morning organizing documents and spent tuesday in the shower, which didn't have the result i wanted.
i need to spend the morning in the shower so that i'm ready to get out to a showing today. i intend to get out to do things tomorrow, meaning i need to finish getting these documents in order.
it follows that this "5% welsh" is a difficult thing to connect to anywhere in the absence of clear genealogical direction. it makes sense to me that the original parent migrant to perce was probably a welsh or basque fisherman brought to the region by the fishing company, and their origins in europe are probably extremely humble, humble enough that they were content to marry the mikmaq woman.
there are medieval texts written by christian monks that document the migration of celtic speakers from spain to the british isles centuries before the romans arrived there and even further document the indo-european migration into spain itself, by documenting the original origin point of the celts as from scythia (ukraine). the celts of ireland and britain knew where they came from, but the christian monks vandalized and destroyed their indigenous history by filling it up with nonsense about adam and eve and noah's ark.
the modern dna evidence actually pretty convincingly demonstrates that the celts had a long concept of history and that the "pagan myths" kept as vandalized fairy tales by christian monks were actually startlingly accurate.
unfortunately, the romans thoroughly destroyed the celtic writing system (which we know now did in fact exist) during the celtic genocide, and they lost their history, their culture and their language and instead started speaking latin (to evolve into french, spanish and portugese) and then eventually germanic (in the form of english, dutch and dialects of german). only the welsh and irish (who migrated to scotland and separated into scottish in the historical period) survived. in later years, christians began disseminating the myth that there was no celtic history, and the celts never even developed writing, but the texts that were partially preserved by the christian monks, albeit in a vandalized state, clearly demonstrate the opposite.
i had unexpected east slavic ancestry pop up in my dna test. it was only 2%, but there's a large error bar and it could be a lot higher. i initially put the 2% east slavic and 3% jewish together to deduce that my dad might have had some ashkenazi jewish ancestry, which is something that seems intuitive because he does have some noticeable sicilian (1% in the test) and my grandfather was fairly dark skinned, but i couldn't find it in the genealogical records, which i found were fairly detailed. according to the genealogy, the parent family i'm from can be traced from ottawa to eastern ontario (from ottawa to montebello to hawkesbury and the farms around rigaud. i have genetic mutations that developed recently in that region.) to the island of montreal and up the st lawerence river to the gaspe peninsula and the town of perce, where there is a documented marriage between the first parent on record with a mikmaq female on a small island off the gaspe peninsula called bonadventure island, which is now a wildlife sanctuary. the house they lived in is actually still there and is a heritage site. these parents were fishermen for generations and seem to have had some relation with a large british empire corporate entity from the channel islands between britain and france that rented out locals to fish for them in order to take control of the catch from them. it was the channel islands corporation that owned the boats and rented them out for subsistence wages, and the employees had to hand everything over. this is a shitty existence. it is unknown where this parent came from, which indicates they were probably either a military person of navy ancestry or some kind of basque or welsh fisherman that showed up undocumented, and was maybe even imported by the channel islands entity. there is a larger 5% welsh ancestry that i also cannot clearly pinpoint, which is similar to basque ancestry. i believe i am challenging academic consensus by pointing out that the welsh origin myths indicate they migrated from spain, as a celtic speaking population, with apparent basque admixture, rather than the "continuation model" that anthropologists keep holding to, despite the dna continually proving it wrong, and won't let go of. it's apparently difficult to genetically distinguish the welsh from the basque. conversely, there were parents that migrated to canada from the united states after the american revolution, there were parents in the acadian region and there were parents in the british navy, including ones of high rank that held positions in india. in the 18th century, there were a large number of parents living in britain that were of original francophone ancestry, and there were still parents in france, but it was actually mostly a franco-norman british surname and not a french surname, at that time. the r1b mutation i have does trace back to austrian celts in the halstatt about 3000 years ago, but it likely came to me directly from welsh or basque ancestry, probably via spain in the distant past.
while this is what the geneaology says, i couldn't connect my dna to any other parents in the ancestry.com database. rather, my dna test indicated i'm related to a trudeau family from the montreal area, and presented all kinds of connections to all kinds of family members nobody in my immediate family had ever heard of. i looked into it a little further, and there may have been an adoption a few generations back around the area of montebello that was kept hush hush and not properly documented. the adopted individual was my paternal great grandfather, who seems to have been descended from the parents on the female side and not on the male side. the person that my paternal great grandfather called his father was probably actually his uncle, while his real mother was his uncle's sister, who died young, and his genetic father isn't documented.
i did pick up substantive clovis ancestry, and that does seem to be the answer to my grandfather's skin tone and curly hair, not something middle eastern. this could be explained by the linkage to perce through the female side.
i was rather able to tie the 3% jewish to an apparent sephardic ancestor on my mother's side that migrated from spain to philadephia in the 18th century, moved to new orleans and married a french woman, then ran away to california to join the gold rush and eventually ended up in the gold rush in the yukon and bc. there may be other jewish ancestors picked up along the path from philadelphia to vancouver, but the one is abundantly clear, as there's actually a jewish legal opinion against him for treating his wife poorly. my mother is very scandinavian on both sides, but looks pretty jewish for a scandinavian. she's dark haired, but her sisters are blonde; both her and her sisters have these gigantic noses, which are noticeable and stand out in what are otherwise very good looking swedish women. they had no idea, and would probably not accept it, but that seems to be where the 3% actually comes from. i don't have dna from my mother, but i have dna from her half-sister that my maternal grandfather fathered out of wedlock, and it is about 20% jewish, apparently mostly or entirely from my maternal grandfather, who may have been as much as half to a quarter jewish. i'd suspect my mother would test at least 10% jewish, but the error bars on these test are very wide and the results cannot be determined with clear accuracy. they will give you a percent, but you should read it in binary computer logic - as yes or no.
so, if the 3% jewish is sephardic, what about the 2% east slavic? the answer is i don't know. it's not clear.
my mother has finnish ancestry, but it's from the part of finland that was developed as a swedish colony. she doesn't have continental finnish or russian ancestry. my mostly finnish grandmother actually looked startlingly like ursula von der leyen, who wears her hair the same way my grandmother did. it's uncanny. trying to establish some kind of russian ancestry there is tentative and probably dubious.
rather, my father's grandfather's name was stanislav parent. i don't know if he liked chopin, but that is a name common in the franco-polish community. it seems more likely that my east slavic comes from the poorly documented adoption and that stanislav's undocumented father seems to be where the links to the montreal area trudeau family originate and the link to the russian or east slavic ancestor.
i did not see any connections to the canadian political dynasty and do not know if there's any relation, but doubt it. i actually don't think justin trudeau is descended from pierre trudeau anyways. i actually suspect his real father was the british aga khan that died this year.
all of this is to say that i'm not russian and am not quite a russophile. i'm perhaps a pseudo-russophile. it is more accurate to state i am a pan-slavist, and that i recognize that moscow is the most logical vehicle to implement pan-slavism.
i find the premise of both polish and ukrainian nationalism to be petty and trivial and wouldn't have a lot of patience for it if i were a citizen of eastern europe. i wouldn't see where that gets anybody.
i remember trying to explain to people around 2002ish, and still moving into about 2005 or 2006ish, that the cold war was a charade and we've been allied with the nazis in trying to wipe out the slavs the whole time. absolutely no attention has been paid in the west to the fact that ukraine is being run by a non-slavic cabal killing slavs by the thousand per day. zelensky doesn't seem to be concerned about the genocide against ethnic slavic ukrainians that he's carrying out in world war one style trench warfare slaughter, and only the russian state media, which our western governments have censored, has drawn any attention to the fact that this slavic genocide is directly from nazi government policy. it's the ukrainians that are dying, on the order of their own government.
now, the europeans want to occupy the region that they're in the process of depopulating and putin is supposed to say "ok".
exactly.
do you know what people told me at the time, in the 00s, when i told them that we were on the brink of a war with russia? they told me that the propaganda in western media would have to ramp up to impossible levels to get us to hate russia again. they told me communism was over and we'd never go back to the cold war.
exactly.
after being trained to for years by movies and tv and print, how much do you hate russia now in 2025?
i don't know what's coming after trump, but it's clear he's an anomaly. the russians need to try to change the narrative while they can.
what do i think happened today in alaska?
listen to the longer remarks by putin. he talked about times when the russians and americans were allied, drawing particular attention to lend-lease during world war two. putin was always an enthusiastic participant in world war two memorials. he always understood and valued america's role in helping russia defeat nazism, and he was always vocal about it.
i think that they didn't talk much about ukraine at all. i think that the meeting was more about increased trade between russia and america, as carried out over the bering strait. i suspect they may have discussed technology transfers and weapons sales.
trump doesn't speak for ukraine and doesn't want to speak for ukraine. he's not at war with russia and doesn't want to be at war with russia. he wants to get better trade deals for the united states, including a better trade deal with russia.
the belligerent approach by the europeans is strongly reminiscent of nazi expansionism and it dispenses with the ideological divisions of the cold war as illusory. what the europeans really wanted during the cold war was lebensraum.
the russians will need to work out their differences with the europeans unilaterally.
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