the simplest and most honest way for me to explain no sex in well over ten years is that i told myself years ago that i wouldn't have sex until after the operation and i've held to it.

i'm not sex starved, in that sense. i largely tend to avoid circumstances where it come up, but i've had several opportunities, and turned them all down because i just didn't feel comfortable in my body.

it's not the easiest thing to explain, but i think there's enough awareness out there that i don't really have to. even in a situation where i'd otherwise want to, i wouldn't, because i couldn't get into it.

as it is, i just want my testicles gone and done with.