Friday, March 26, 2021

this is the "where i was" post, useful for getting back to period 3.

oct 31 - closed clarity.
nov 1 - closed fuck boxes.
nov 2 - closed time
nov 3- closed rabit demo



dec 23, 2017 @ 14:31
but, i'm going to pick up where i left off, which is at compiling the blu-ray disc. i'm going to use it as an opportunity to double check all of the liner notes. that should be a day or two, at least...

jan 1, 2018 @ 1:53
i had to go through every single release to integrate the blu-ray component. maybe there's a bulk edit option; maybe i just demonstrated the wisdom in using it. but, i also wanted to take the opportunity to check for typos and just generally reorder the liner notes, and this has turned into a more time consuming project than anticipated.

in fact, i'm feeling like i'm going to need to do a second run, but i'm going to fill in the details after the blu-ray disc, to inri074 and a bit beyond it, before i go through the sources, separately this time, just looking for problems in a more self-contained way. it's a second pass. i think it will be a bit quicker.

i'm almost done. and i could even get a volume of the guitar project up before i crash, we'll see.

jan1, 2018 @ 21:13
ok, so i'm just about caught up to where i was, i just have some final filing to do.

i've updated the period 2 disc to include the electronic drum kit out for the time machine, as that was really written from scratch in june, 2014.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-2-update-disc

jan 1, 2018 @ 21:21

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-bd-disc-volume-1

jan 3, 2018 @ 20:56

so, i put my uploald of this mix on hold, to explore the possibility of adding another track, to spin inside dull aberrations. this would have required some strategic cuts to fit on to one cd, but it was plausible, and a cut was made. but, the track just doesn't fit the aesthetic on the disc, as much as i want it to.

so, what is this, then? this is the first officially complete volume of tetris, an idea i've been kicking around for a while, since i think 2007. and, it may in the end end up separated from inri069, and placed in a release sequence deep in 2011 instead, as the first part of a two or four cd set. but, this is a volume in a set of some sort, at least.

tetris is an idea that is meant to combine technology with lead guitar work, which i realized around ten years ago is a dominant theme in my work, worth separately cataloguing. many rough lists of tracks intended for a tetris release have circulated, over the years. there will be a tetris release of some sort that documents 2003-2011, potentially several.

the first tetris release is intended to focus on danceable tracks driven with a lead guitar part. spin is just too much of a rock song. i'm considering a second immediate tetris release, focused on trip-hop, but it may be put off until 2007.

i'm considering a third volume of atmospheric guitar music, but that too may be put off - as might the mix tape of solos.

so, there's still a lot of work to do in compiling and organizing the components of this release. but, this cd will be a completed segment, moving forwards.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/tetris-vols-i-iv

jan 5, 2018 @ 11:50--->18:38

so, where am i with things?

i've got the second and third tetris discs created, i just have to sequence them. but, i'm leaning towards not releasing this for a while, perhaps positioning it as late as 2013 in a 5 or 6 volume set.

tetris is the idea of mixing technology with guitar music. the three compiled expressions of this are in the form of a dance music setlist, a psychedelic music setlist and an epic rock setlist. a fourth expression of this in the form of atmospheric guitar music may follow shortly.

the only thing i've put aside for definite release in the inri069 space is the disc of guitar mixes - that is, songs stripped down only to the guitar parts. i'm also going to be getting a head start on a number of mix tapes, with the possibility of a release, but the likelihood of half-releases, to be put aside for later.

what i'm doing right now is sequencing these two discs and taking a look at the fourth volume.

--

the most recent update is that the second tetris disc is sequenced, but the third has been put aside; it may end up as two discs. there is at least one more tetris disc to sequence, but i won't be releasing any of them in the inri069 space. as of now. i think. they will likely have a release date of something like 2011, in something like a 6 disc set. but, i could still decide that it's worthwhile to release a double in this space.

right now, what i'm wanting to do is sequence the guitar collage disc, as it kind of has to be sequenced before the next tetris disc. and, i'm realizing that one of my guitar mixes isn't a guitar mix at all.

so, i'm going to have to update inri058. i wish i would have caught this in november, but so be it.

it looks like this guitar collage disc will be what is published in inri069, unless i get a good 4 disc tetris set, in which case i can release the remaining volumes later.

---

on second thought, now that i've put the third disc aside as two further potential volumes, i can release a four volume set, if i include the guitar mixes, and why not, it fits the theme.

four is just permanent.

i still need to determine what i actually am going to create and then order it afterwards...

---

another decision: i had included a few 'orchestral' works in the epic rock compilation, because it sort of fit, but i've taken them out. the way i'm going to do this is that the guitar disc for the orchestral pieces will be the orchestral works, and i'll add the slow version of the time machine as a bonus track.

there will be material from the orchestral works in the tetris compilation, but where it fits.

i just felt forced to include the guitar concerto on a guitar works, but it doesn't really fit the description of tetris well - it's an overture and concerto and should be catalogued accordingly.

and, so, i should be explicit, and rename the release to tetris, 1-4.

jan 6, 2018 @ 17:04

i had to replace this track.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/trepanation-nation-raw-guitar-mix

the deleted mix was actually intended to be temporary; it was done a few days before i finished the main track, and i was going to then go back and re-render it when i finished it. this didn't happen. so, the mix ended up with some synthesizers in it that had to be taken out. it's now also an accurate "guitar only mix" for the final version of the track.

this mix will also appear on tetris. the discarded mix will be moved to the alephs. 

jan 7, 2018 @ 0:47--->15:38

so, where am i with things?

i've finished up the fourth tetris disc, and have a rough listing for the third. the last mix had to be reconstructed to finish it...

the third disc is going to be a compilation of tracks where the guitar is used to create a wash of noise, or something otherwise atmospheric.

---

the compilation is done.

it's five and a half hours, and touches on pretty much every major track in the first two periods of my discography.

it will take some time to upload.

---

tetris 1-4 (inri069) is now completed.

tetris 5 will be the ambient works, vol 1 (inri071a). tetris 6 will be the orchestral works (inri072). there's no use in recreating these as tetris volumes, but they are developed guitar ideas in my discography that ought to be catalogued. further tetris volumes will follow at the ends of periods 3 (2003-2007) and 4 (2007-2011).

to recap, tetris is the idea of fusing guitar music with technology. it is also one of the central themes of my work, as a composer. the tetris series catalogues my various approaches towards this theme.

tetris 1: guitar-driven dance music.
tetris 2: guitar driven electro-psych.
tetris 3: guitar driven noise collages.
tetris 4: guitar-only mixes of selected period 2 tracks
tetris 5: guitar driven ambient music
tetris 6: guitar driven orchestral music

tetris 7: guitar driven 'epic rock' - extended pieces.
the ideas in volumes 1-3, 5-6 may be reprised for further volumes.

formal close to follow.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/tetris-vols-i-iv

jan 8, 2018 @ 0:12

the origins of the tetris project emerge in my records some time in mid-2006. i must have been filing some things on my hard drive, and wanting to put a bunch of the loose ends in the same folder, because what i remember is having a lot of loose tracks and trying to find a way to fit them together. the best commonality i could find in these tracks is that they all attempted to merge guitar music with electronic music, so i devised a project that would utilize these tracks by exploring this theme to it's fullest. 

tetris is the idea of combining guitar music with technology. it just sat that way, for years, as a folder on my hard drive, with little progress towards actual completion. 

when i set up the bandcamp site in 2010, i uploaded a number of these loose tracks under the album header 'tetris', with a promise to add tracks to it, slowly, until it completes. this was intended to be an eventual official record with an explicit techno flavour, and some tracks were, in fact, added to it. as of january, 2018, the majority of these tracks have been completed and re-released on my fifth or sixth records. so, this project has been dismantled, as it initially existed. 

upon initial completion of my second period in may of 2015, i sat down to create a guitar volume. some work was completed on a mix tape of solo parts, but this was ultimately where i left off to go back to complete period 1. before i put it aside, i had decided on a three-volume set: a mix tape and a 2xcd set, with one cd being a tetris volume 1 (converted to an end-of-period compilation) and the other cd being of atmospheric, political and noise sections. 

i didn't get back to this until late december, 2017 and sat down to create a tetris volume 1 as i had decided upon in 2015. but, what i started to realize as i was compiling it was that the reason that this connection presented itself amongst the scattered tracks i initially applied it to was that it is a fundamental aspect of my art - nearly every track i've written since 1998 takes the guitar through an exploration in the world of electronic music. i started to think more abstractly about it, this combination of technology with guitars, so that the definition fit across more genres than techno and idm. this wider interpretation of the project's mandate created a larger pool of tracks to choose from, and i eventually settled on two volumes for tetris: one with a faster tempo and more danceable tracks and one with a slower tempo and jazzier or more psychedelic tracks. some tracks that i identified as 'orchestral' were also put aside for future release on a later tetris volume. 

the atmospheric disc wasn't initially contemplated of as a tetris release, it was rather meant to make the release an inclusive guitar works, as that is also a major component of my guitar presentation. but, my wider interpretation of the mandate allowed me to see that the tracks i had put aside for this compilation were also an exploration of guitars and technology. so, i created this disc as a tetris volume. a strategic decision was made to not include tracks on the first ambient works, but rather to defer to it as the ambient component of my second period guitar work. 

i had also decided in late 2017 that i would create a compilation of guitar-only mixes for the lp sequence to close period 2, to draw special attention to the primary focus of my creations, which is the guitar work. i strongly contemplated releasing only disc 4 in this space of inri069, and leaving the other three for a later release, as a coherent multi-disc part tetris. however, the need to include inri071a in the tetris sequence necessitated releasing these tetris volumes in this space. further, a standalone release of disc 4 would also require a tetris number - it is certainly an integration of technology and guitars. 

that makes inri071a tetris 5. i've also decided that inri072, the orchestral works, should be tetris 6. 

as a six volume set, this compilation touches upon nearly every track that was written between 1998-2003 and has guitars in it by placing it into one or more of these six slightly overlapping categories. as such, this is a comprehensive introduction to my first two periods, from the perspective off my work as a guitarist. 

initially written and recorded between 1997-2003. this compilation idea was developed and expanded upon as an intended full record release between 2006 and 2011. reinterpreted, reconstructed and remixed between 2014-2018. sequenced over december, 2017 and january, 2018. disc released & finalized as lp018 and tetris 1-4 on jan 7, 2018. as always, please use headphones. 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2015, 2017-2018). 
credits
released April 26, 2003 

j - guitars (electric, acoustic, nylon), digital & analog effects processing, ebow, mandolin, bass, bass synth, drum programming, analog & electronic drum kits, drum sampling, drum manipulations, vocals, vocal noises, sampling, orchestral & other sequencing, soundscaping, sound design, synthesizers, electric & grand pianos, electric reed organ, found sounds, octavers, noise generators, cool edit synthesis, granular synthesis, generative synthesis, loops, flute, coughs, digital wave editing, production 

sean - harmonica (track 19), ring modulator (track 36) 
greg - drum performance sample source (track 21) 

the rendered electronic orchestra includes acoustic bass, synth bass, electric bass, brass, french horn, trombone, trumpet, tuba, english horn, saxophone, flute, bamboo flute, oboe, piccolo, clarinet, bassoon, orchestra hit, drum machine, electronic drum kit, agogo, tubular bells, glockenspiel, clavinet, kalimba, piano, melodic toms, hand drums, timpani, orchestral drum set, koto, nylon guitar, distorted & clean electric guitars, guitar effects, guitar noises, synthesizers, synthesizer effects, music box, piano, bells, organ, sitar, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, full string sections and mellotron. it also includes choir.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/tetris-vols-i-iv

jan 9, 2018 @ 3:31

i spent the day creating purchase options on the bandcamp site - another thing that is kind of boring but need to be done.

i should be back to inri070, soon.

but, the update is that i added a lot of physical bundles around the alephs and the now four sequences i'm running: symph, lp, ambient and tetris. there's also some new bundles, so that most lps now have a pairing in a rational potential double record. i always intended to do this eventually, and here it is.

it's a big step in closing down period 2. 

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch

jan 9, 2018 @9:58

inri063: these tracks are all based on existing demos from 2001-2002 that were initially intended to be completed with vocal parts and were remixed from july, 2014 to may, 2015 as purely instrumental recordings. released may 2, 2015. disc finalized as lp014 on nov 21, 2017. this is my sixth official record. 

inri064: these tracks were written and recorded over november and december of 2002 and uploaded, unmodified, in may of 2015. released on may 2, 2015. re-released on physical media and finalized on nov 24, 2017. 

inri065: written and recorded in early 2003. transcribed, slightly rearranged, remixed repeatedly and re-rendered repeatedly over may, 2015. released on may 16, 2015. expanded & finalized on nov 25, 2017. 

inri066: originally written, programmed and recorded from 1996-2002. reclaimed & remixed from june to december of 2015. initial completion date was december 31, 2015. disc finally released, closed and finalized on nov 26, 2017. lp015. 

inri067: written and recorded between dec, 1999 and july, 2002, except the hidden track (which was created in the summer of 1998). none of these tracks were remastered or otherwise modified after 2002. disc simultaneously created and finalized as lp016 on nov 26, 2017. 

inri068: originally written, programmed and recorded in varying states of finality over 2001 and 2002, except the hidden track (which was programmed in 1997). the associated tracks were completed between february, 2014 and may, 2015; these mixes, however, were spun off as late as nov, 2017. released as lp017 on nov 27, 2017. expanded and finalized on jan 1, 2018. 

inri069: initially written and recorded between 1997-2003. this compilation idea was developed and expanded upon as an intended full record release between 2006 and 2011. reinterpreted, reconstructed and remixed between 2014-2018. sequenced over december, 2017 and january, 2018. disc released & finalized as lp018 and tetris I-IV on jan 7, 2018. 

originally created from 1997-2003. this compilation is dated to april 26, 2003. slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and finalized from 2014-2017. compilation finalized on jan 9, 2018. as always, please use headphones.
  

credits

released April 26, 2003 

j - electric & acoustic & classical guitars, electric bass guitar, bass synth, digital & analog effects processing, synthesizers, electric air reed organ, electric & grand pianos, flute, voice, vocal noises & relics, analog & electronic drum kits, drum programming, drum manipulations, drum sampling, bowls, claps, tables, ebow, mandolin, orchestral & other sequencing, sampling, loops, equalization, light-sound synthesis, generative programming, granular synthesis, sound raider, noise generators, cool edit sequencing, found sounds, octavers, coughs, digital wave editing, sound design, production, composition. 

sean - harmonica (inri063, inri069), ring modulator (inri067, inri069) 
greg - drum performance sample source (inri063, inri067-inri069) 

the various rendered electronic orchestras include tuba, french horn, trombone, trumpet, english horn, saxophone, brass section, oboe, clarinet, bassoon, flute, bamboo flute, piccolo, orchestra hit, melodic toms, hand drums, timpani, orchestral drum set, piano, agogo, celesta, xylophone, marimba, clavinet, kalimba, vibraphone, glockenspiel, tubular & other bells, music box, woodblock, mallet, electronic drum kit, drum machine, jazz drum kit, koto, synth pad, synth bass, synthesizer, synthesizer effects, mellotron, organ, sitar, acoustic bass, synth bass, electric bass, fingered bass guitar, picked electric guitar, nylon guitar, distorted & clean electric guitars, guitar effects, bowed electric guitar, guitar noises (fret noises, knocks, pick scrapes), violin, viola, cello, contrabass and various full string sections. it also includes choir. 
 

jan 9, 2018 @ 11:53

purchasing this release does not come with a download. 

inri053: written late 2001 and early 2002. this file is ripped from a cd-r that was burnt around 2002, as that was the option that would produce the most accurate reproduction of the original composition. published without modification on oct 6, 2014. expanded, re-released and finalized as symph006 and lp012 on oct 23, 2017. 

inri057: written and recorded in late 2001 and early 2002. initially sequenced in may, 2002. re-sequenced and first released in june, 2002. re-released in slightly different forms from 2002-2014. resequenced to mimic the original sequencing and re-released on november 8, 2014. except to sequence the record, these files have not been altered since 2002. disc finalized as lp013 on nov 3, 2017. 

inri063: these tracks are all based on existing demos from 2001-2002 that were initially intended to be completed with vocal parts and were remixed from july, 2014 to may, 2015 as purely instrumental recordings. released may 2, 2015. disc finalized as lp014 on nov 21, 2017. this is my sixth official record. 

inri066: originally written, programmed and recorded from 1996-2002. reclaimed & remixed from june to december of 2015. initial completion date was december 31, 2015. disc finally released, closed and finalized on nov 26, 2017. lp015. 

inri067: written and recorded between dec, 1999 and july, 2002, except the hidden track (which was created in the summer of 1998). none of these tracks were remastered or otherwise modified after 2002. disc simultaneously created and finalized as lp016 on nov 26, 2017. 

inri068: originally written, programmed and recorded in varying states of finality over 2001 and 2002, except the hidden track (which was programmed in 1997). the associated tracks were completed between february, 2014 and may, 2015; these mixes, however, were spun off as late as nov, 2017. released as lp017 on nov 27, 2017. expanded and finalized on jan 1, 2018. 

inri069: initially written and recorded between 1997-2003. this compilation idea was developed and expanded upon as an intended full record release between 2006 and 2011. reinterpreted, reconstructed and remixed between 2014-2018. sequenced over december, 2017 and january, 2018. disc released & finalized as lp018 and tetris I-IV on jan 7, 2018. 

originally created from 1997-2003. this compilation is dated to april 28, 2003. slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and finalized from 2013-2018. compilation finalized on jan 9, 2018. as always, please use headphones.
 

credits

released April 28, 2003 

j - guitars (electric, acoustic, classical), digital & analog effest processing, bass, bass synth, synthesizers, electric & grand pianos, electric air reed organ, digital piano, flute, mandolin, voice, vocal noises & relics, electronic & analog drum kits, drum programming, drum manipulations, drum sampling, vocal manipulations, loops, orchestral & other sequencing, sampling, equalization, sound raider, found sounds, octavers, noise generators, cool edit synthesis, granular synthesis, generative synthesis, coughs, digital wave editing, production, composition, cover art. 

sean - vocals, lyrics (inri053, inri057), harmonica (inri057, inri063, inri069), ring modulator (inri057, inri067, inri069). 
greg - drum performance sample source (inri057, inri063, inri067-inri069) 
jon - guitar performance (inri057) 

the various rendered electronic orchestras include acoustic bass, synth bass, electric bass, brass, ftuba, french horn, trombone, trumpet, english horn, saxophone, oboe, clarinet, bassoon, flute, bamboo flute, piccolo, organ, sitar, bells, orchestra hit, melodic toms, timpani, orchestral drum set, drum machine, electrmoic drum kit, piano, clavinet, kalimba, hand drums, nylon guitar, distorted & clean electric guitars, guitar effects, guitar noises, synthesizers, synthesizer effects, music box, agogo, tubular bells, glockenspiel, koto, violin, viola, cello, contrabass and various full string sections. it also includes choir. 
 

jan 11, 2018 @ 23:26

so, i'm just coming out of an extended christmas break, and i'm going to be a little bit mentally wander-y for a bit, still. i lost the last few days to distractions, really...

what are my tasks this weekend and into next week and for the rest of the season?

1) i need to finish cleaning in here. this is still move-in cleaning. i had to wait for the isp guy, and then the maintenance guy. floors, especially. so, i'm going to take a few days to do this.
2) i wanted to finish period 2, first, but not now. now, i want to clean first so i can get to the next batch of writing in bed. what's left is just the cover art for inri070-inri074, and i've already shipped inri071, inri072 & inri074. cleaning won't be too long and this will be quick...
3) i'm going to need to go back and finish the outline for period 1. this is the third winter in a row i've tried to do this. i have to actually do it, this time. this will include catching up to the alter-reality. and, once the structure exists, i should be able to carry forward with it. and, i might as well set up the structure for period 2, too.
4) i'll have to do a lot of fixing of things before i'm able to get to period 3. i have a stack of broken and disassembled technology that needs attention. so, there will be an extended studio set-up phase that will also include things like buying bookshelves. basically, this is getting back to what i was doing in the summer, pushing back into the spring. part of that will be catching up on the vlogging, although that will also be a part of building the period 1 disc. 
5) notwithstanding any further problems, i should finally be able to start period 3 by summer, hopefully.
so, i'm going to aim to get the legal stuff done by monday. i'm going to be reinstalling the recording pc this weekend, so i'll have a fair amount of downtime. that's fine.

finally got a letter in from a doctor in toronto about an orchidectomy, but i can hardly transit to toronto when the greyhound lines aren't running. so, i'll have to call and see if he can do a phone appointment, or just schedule the surgery without talking to me.
today's post is inri011.

===

it's often remarked that there's a fine line between genius and idiocy. it's less often remarked that there's an equally fine line between wisdom and depression. 

in early 1998, i was generating quite a bit of concern about my mental well being. ironically, i think this actually coincided with a period of very rapid mental development and maturation. i kind of just went to sleep one night as an immature teen and woke up the next morning as an overmature young adult. i can't really assign any kind of catalyst to it, either. while i haven't looked into this at all, i suspect it's a less uncommon phenomenon than might be imagined. 

i should maybe give my parents, which at this point in time means my father and step-mother but primarily my father, a little bit of credit for at least being aware that my character underwent a sudden, dramatic shift from being a hyperactive kid to being a quiet and withdrawn teen. the immediate interpretation of such a shift is inevitably going to be that it is at least consistent with the onset of some kind of depression. so, i ended up dealing with the spanish inquisition for a while, regarding my shift in demeanor. was i alright? if i wasn't, would i tell him? would i agree to talk to somebody?

i did agree to talk to somebody, mostly to ease his own concerns. i mean, i just didn't see the need for him to be worrying about me like this. 

the reality of the situation was that i had simply matured a little bit. sure: there were some real life concerns happening around me. life at 17 is not childhood any longer; it can be stressful. maybe that had affected me a little bit. but, depression? i didn't feel that i was suffering from anything. i just felt that my personality was asserting itself as something that was kind of stoic. i don't want to call myself a sociopath, exactly: stoicism gets the point across better. what's the point of getting irritable? what does it solve? 

the doctor keyed in on some of the music i was listening to. now, it's the late 90s: right after grunge. people are still reeling from, like, kurt cobain copycat suicides. i was in a bit of a different musical head space than that, one defined mostly by nine inch nails (and including influences on nin and offshoots from it). that's actually considerably worse, on first glance, although i was aware of the fact that reznor was writing from the perspective of a character rather than from personal experience. the point is that i understood where the concern was coming from and was able to effectively articulate that point to the doctor. we agreed that i didn't necessarily need to be put on anti-depressants right away, but that i should accept a prescription and fill it at some point if i get overwhelmed. 

so, i came home with a prescription and immediately hit the internet to research it. i didn't like what i found. i had explicitly told the doctor that i was experiencing a lack of emotional instability, not an excess of it. so, i didn't need to turn my emotions off; if anything, i would have benefited more from something that amplified my emotions more. the idea that i was depressed was just a misperception. nonetheless, the mere *idea* of taking drugs that would suppress my emotions and may have long term or permanent effects scared the hell out of me. the xfiles sample that appears on the original mix was something that i had put aside for future pro-atheist use but, after doing this research, became very relevant in a completely different context. 

so, i wasn't keen on taking these drugs that were going to at best turn me into a zombie and at worst turn me into a mass murderer. nope. no thanks... 

my dad pushed the point for quite a while, though. in his mind, i came home with a prescription and ought to fill it. this song is a reaction to his insistence, which i always knew was coming from a good place. in fact, he never really dropped the argument. 

the doctor and i also talked a little bit about my own music, and how it was an outlet for various frustrations. i made the argument that, while i didn't feel depressed, i was nonetheless better off working out issues of the sort through art than i was taking pills. so, this song also exists on that kind of meta level. 

in hindsight, i don't want to give off the impression that i reject psychology or the medicalization of depression. that is simply untrue. the honest truth is that i simply did not feel that i was suffering from any kind of depression. yet, i've also always been very uncomfortable with the way that this process unfolded. we talked for less than an hour, and i walked out with a prescription for a mind-altering substance that could have dramatically damaged me. why is there not more oversight in this process? one would think that i should have been given a blood test to determine if i actually had an imbalance or not. no doctor can determine an imbalance through intuition. that is flat out quackery! an imbalance must be measured. if it can be determined empirically, it ought to be reacted to. yet, i was never even tested. 

as an artist, i'm glad that i had the presence of mind to reject the drugs at this age. i simply don't know what they would have done to me, or who i would be today had i taken them. 

originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. vocals added jan 6, 2016. released on jan 6, 2016. finalized on july 23, 2016. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version of this track appears on my first record, inri (inri015): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3 

this recording is a part of the following collections: 
1) inriℵ0: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-dvd-disc-volume-1 
2) inriℵ1: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-box-set 
3) inriℵ4: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/mp3-dvd-disc-volume-1 
4) inriℵ6: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1 
5) inriℵ17: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-bd-disc-volume-1 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1998, 2013, 2015, 2016). 

released april 29, 1998 

j - guitars, effects, synth bass, synths, drum programming, sequencing, vocals, sampling, digital wave editing, production

Thursday, March 25, 2021

these are not intelligent people, and they need to be removed from power.
sometimes, the most effective way to articulate something is the most blunt way, and here it is: the prime minister and his entourage are a bunch of fucking idiots.

that is the problem, and the thing that needs to be fixed, and it needs to be done from within, before it's too late.
what's really going on with this government is a kind of dunning-kruger effect, where you have a lot of uneducated and inexperienced people working in and around the pmo that think they're smarter than everybody else, despite having almost no meaningful education in much of anything except public relations.

i found and read these white papers, but they couldn't be bothered. and, if you actually sat these people down and got them to explain why they didn't do their homework, the answers you'd get would leave you baffled.

this is the stupid party in canadian politics, and the result of putting them in charge of something like this was predictable: they ignored the experts and winged everything, then pretended there weren't any existing guidelines to follow in the first place. 

what we really need is for the liberal party to realize it's been taken over by a cabal of buffoons and purge itself of the stupidity, before biden puts the conservatives in power out of disgust.
i pointed out when this started that the government had great plans, and it simply ignored them.

this isn't an example of poor readiness, in a broader sense. rather, it's an example of a government that wasn't interested in consulting the civil service, probably because it thought it knew better.

if it had consulted the existing white papers, many of which written during the chretien and martin years, it would have prevented itself from making a wide swath of the mistakes it made, and is continuing to make.

so, don't let them argue that they were caught off guard - they weren't. they just didn't bother to brief themselves; it's a breakdown in competency, not a breakdown in preparedness.

i don't actually want an artist's grant, though. i've looked into this, and it's just state coercion, in the end; we don't really want the government deciding what is and isn't art, either.

we need to look at the gai, more generally. what i'm providing is an argument in favour of guaranteed income, explicitly from an artists' perspective.
so, don't tell me that the value of what i do is determined by how much i sell; i'll take the exact opposite position, and argue that any art that can be commodified to the point of being successful in this economy isn't worth the cost to produce it.

the only art worth bothering with in this culture is that which is permanently and inherently unmarketable.

as zappa would say, it would necessarily have "no commercial potential" to be worthwhile.
look at the type of musicians that do well in this society. how many of them are talented? like, at all, in any way?

they tend to be attractive, yes. talented? no...

now, spend some time in the underground looking for actually talented musicians, and tell me how many of them are able to survive without an alternate source of income. in case after case you'll find that they come from wealthy families and don't have to work, or they have some other job that pays the bills.

the connection between talent and income is non-existent - it's a scatter-plot, with no discernible relationship in any direction at all, except maybe a weak inverse relationship.

and, that holds for virtually every other art form, as well, with the possible exception of film, which requires massive startup costs to exist.
if everybody loves you, and you're able to make lots of money on the free market as an artist, you're not challenging the status quo very much are you?

art is impossible in a market society, because it has to be commodified to exist.

so, you'll hear people say things like "well, if people agreed with them, and liked their art, they'd be able to survive." - and they think that's an argument against the artist, rather than an argument against the market. and, to an extent they're right - it's an anti-artist position, one that is roughly in line with somebody like ayn rand and that rejects the concept of art on it's face.

artists need a way to escape the market, by definition - because if they're actually able to survive in the market without any sort of subsidies, they're not producing anything substantive.

in years past, we solved this problem by having artists seek commissions from the aristocracy. you can imagine i don't like that much, but it's at least better than telling me to go sell a product in order to survive.

i don't need or want wealth, i want enough stability to exist to create. and, we'll let the future determine the value of the product - because the market is incompetent.
i have not, historically, chosen to eat on a day-to-day basis, but have rather frequently chosen to eat every other day, on average. i don't like rules, and i have difficulty following schedules. and, i haven't generally found it's made me hungry.

rather, my rule for most of my life has been that i eat when i'm hungry, rather than that i eat at a specific time of day. and, that's a big part of why i'm designing this how i'm designing it - i know i can't and won't eat three times a day, and it will be a struggle to force myself to eat twice a day.

in the end, i may let my iron stores fall, or even choose to take supplements rather than force myself to eat more than my body urges me to. but, i need to make sure i can absorb it before i decide how to react.
the day was somewhat blown eating and, in the end, napping, i'm awake, now. let's hope it holds.

so, i'm going to spend a few hours getting through what i was doing before i switch into some legal stuff instead of the alter-reality.

i need to stay on top of my diet. but, i'm actually even feeling a little less cold :).

see, it's one thing to construct a diet on paper and say "look. this is sufficient for my dietary needs." and it's another to actually force yourself to eat not just every single day but twice every single day. and, this is what i needed to figure out - if i actually hold to the diet i worked out, am i absorbing it?

i'll need to makes some eggs in the evening.
sorry, i actually meant to post the playlist...

i'm going to be updating this on a daily or bidaily basis, depending on what's relevant.

i eat tons of red, and my iron is low. so, the red shit becomes exceedingly ambiguous - it's either undigested food (a sign of poor absorption, which would explain the iron deficiency) or it's evidence i'm bleeding to death.

i simply can't tell by looking at.

what do you think?


i legit thought today was friday.

it's thursday, actually.

so, i still have another 12 hours of rebuilding.
so, i tried some politically kind of things, but my brain's not there right now.

this is an old standard, but it's a seven hour epic, so that sounds like fun for a few weeks:
i'm not being facetious.

rapists, murderers and thugs of all sort will find meaning as conscripts that they won't find elsewhere.

it's a win-win situation.
we should be conscripting convicted rapists and sending them out to fight, not trying to eliminate rape from the military.
this is a party that wants to repeat every stupid mistake that every stupid christian and every stupid buddhist has ever made, throughout all of history.

it's both the stupid party, and the "history as farce" party.

they jump all over the mistakes - they trumpet them as virtues - and they set their minds on repeating them, on purpose. it's absurd.
rape is a tactic that armies use to dominate the people they subjugate with.

we want our soldiers to be able to utilize this tactic in battle, not feel like it's "dishonourable".

like war is ever honourable, right? fucking idiots...
somehow, i feel that the kind of person that wouldn't rape somebody - of either gender - if given the opportunity would be a shitty soldier, and we'd end up collapsing like the romans as a result of a military based on some christian code of ethics.

the military needs to be full of people that don't care much about morals or ethics - or any concept of honour of any sort of all.

and, i don't understand why any female-identifying person would want to pick up a gun and join the military, either. it's just baffling to me. but, let me tell you - these advancing armies aren't going to keep it in their pants, and if you can't defend yourself against a rapist at home, you're not going to defend yourself against one on the battlefield, either.

i haven't said much about this because i don't actually care. let the fuckers die...

...but, fighting sexual harassment in the military (lol.) is really just another example of how the liberals have become the stupid party.

i got the youtube page cleared out for jan, 2018 and parts of feb, 2018 before i crashed. that is actually a little progress.

so, what am i doing today? i clearly didn't catch up to the alter-reality, and i need to very quickly.

for now, i'm putting it off for one more week. i may have to flip it over and focus strictly on it until i catch up, when i get there. i actually have some legal stuff to focus on before the end of the day, today. so, i'm going to put together some loose ends and focus on that.

unfortunately, i fell asleep right before it was time to eat, so i'm six hours behind on eating again. i at least got some actual sleep and i'm at least caught up in the sense that there aren't lagging meals or the need to double them. so, that's fine - i should catch up quickly. but, it means i need to spend the morning eating. 

i don't expect to get any recording done this weekend, but this is the last weekend in the cleaning phase - i should have the recording pc up and running by monday at the latest.

it will depend on whether i have to deal with the drugs from upstairs or not, but i hope for a long day today that ends with some final closure on the ordering of this space. but, there's a lot of stuff in the other room, and it's not going to clear out any time soon.

today's post is inri010:

====

here's the biting, satirical, misanthropic anarchist jessica that you know and love! finally... 

this is the first thing that shows up that's explicitly political in more than a social sense. the lyrics are clear, obvious and mixed very much to the front. here's the story on that: i'm emulating a beat-box situation. i'm a politician, tongue-in-cheek, with a sound system in the back. the paper crumpling sound in the middle is meant to represent me spoiling a ballot. 

in hindsight, i suppose that the idea that i'm trying to get across is largely gramscian. in the language of modern memes, the track simply tells us to keep calm and vote for the status quo. but, you'll note that i'm focusing a lot on the deficit of discourse. this could be interpreted a few ways. you could think about how the function of advertising is to suppress thought, for example. however, what i was thinking at the time intersects most cleanly with the idea of the state functioning as the modern church. in this system, which does not only exist on the right, the politician is also a priest and enforces the same role of thought suppression that the church did in the middle ages. the politician herds the sheep into the polls to uphold the status quo; democracy consequently leads to stasis, and prevents any kind of real change. what i had actually read at this age was not gramsci or chomsky but orwell. yet, what's actually driving me is something closer to what we would today associate with dawkins - largely through asimov. 

you'll note that i'm not particularly hopeful about the process, either - i don't have a lot of faith in humans to transcend this process of control. it's a deep form of misanthropy, with little way out. yet, my idea of human nature is that we are very malleable, not that we are fixed in perpetual assholery. even at this age, i realize that we are not doomed.... 

....we're just very poorly equipped to get our shit together. 

initially written in 1996. recreated in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 12, 2015. vocals added july 15, 2015. sequenced, released and finalized on july 22, 2016. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version of this track appears on my second record, inriched (inri021): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched 

this recording is a part of the following collections: 
1) inriℵ0: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-dvd-disc-volume-1 
2) inriℵ2: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set 
3) inriℵ4: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/mp3-dvd-disc-volume-1 
5) inriℵ6: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1 
6) inriℵ17: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-bd-disc-volume-1 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1998, 2013, 2015, 2016). 

released april 19, 1998 

j - guitars, effects, bass, drum programming, drum kit, synthesizers, found sound (paper crumpling), pick scrapes, tapes, noise generators, cool edit synthesis, sampling, vocals, digital wave editing, production


Wednesday, March 24, 2021

so, this is still a less than productive week, but it should lead into productivity next week.
that was a floaty morning, but i got the posts updated and i caught up to my eating schedule.

i'm just going to finish my fluoride and try to sleep in until the evening, then plan to get the pasta in the evening.

i have to make sure i don't flub this reading next week.
so, i stopped to eat yesterday, i went to get the recycle, i did some dishes, i tried to take a nap, i tried to take a shower and ran out of hot water (the hot water tank seems to have cut in half, or something, since i got back on friday. i don't know what the deal with that is. but, i'll have to shower twice as often, then.), i meant to lie down for a minute to warm up but fell asleep, i woke up, i made some eggs, i cleaned in here a tad, i did some typing, i took a nap, i took a shit, i tried to get my upload finished and now i want to make some fruit, take another shower and maybe even fall back asleep.

so, i'm just existing this week.

but i want to get as much food as i can to get as much iron as i can.

i haven't touched the rebuild since yesterday afternoon. 

it's clear enough i'm not going to make it to the alter-reality. what next, then? i dunno.
today's post is the spectacular, the infamous, the one and only....inri009:

===

this is the final version of something i'd been playing with since about '94 or so, and by this time the track had become something that was beyond absurd. in a way, this is the culmination of everything i did in this period. it's the central track of my inri years: it's both the first thing i spent any time seriously writing and the ultimate realization of the musical ideas i was exploring. it's the longest track on the first demo. the drum programming is deep, there's an orchestration through sequencing, synth parts in the background, lead guitar work coming to the forefront - it's everything thrown together at a coherent level, really for the first time. 

that this is the central track of this period maybe demonstrates how ridiculous i was and how ridiculous my musical vision was. maybe it also demonstrates just how _young_ i was. 

the remaining tracks in this period sort of pivot after this. 

i should be clear: this is pretty much the most terrible song that you could possibly imagine existing, and that was kind of the intent. the shock value is entirely up front. but at the same time, it's just so terrible that it's kind of funny, and that was entirely intended as well. 

you could maybe say something about how somebody like alice cooper ripping live chicken heads off in the middle of a performance is just about the most tyrannical thing you could imagine somebody getting away with on stage. it's just *so* ridiculous, that you can't help but laugh - even as you're horrified. 

it's a phase a lot of teenagers go through. i guess the difference between me and a hundred thousand other kids is that i was exploring it through composition. 


now that i'm an adult, this isn't something i would write or promote. yet, i sort of am by uploading it. the interest here is to document the existence of a troubled child. well, and to document myself - i was that troubled child. 

the history of the track is perhaps a little less obnoxious than may be suspected. i was actually being taunted by somebody in the eighth grade. that person had never met and never would meet my mother. it's just a remark that young boys make. freudian analyses aside, i don't think there's really that much conscious thought put into it. 

my decision to write a song about it was half a joke and half a response to being teased. i listened to and feigned laughter at a lot of oppressive jokes when i was younger; to an extent, i regret not speaking up, but i can state with honesty that i never felt comfortable taking part (now, self-deprecating humour, often of a sexual nature, is another thing). this reaction, on that "fuck you" level, shouldn't provide for any specific discomfort. 

however, the fact that i explored the topic in a deeper level of depth than my taunters did perhaps might, and perhaps should. i need to bring you back to my aims in recording this early demo: i was trying to be as disturbing and shocking as i possibly could be. my taunters provided me with a particularly disturbing subject matter to explore, and i took full advantage of that. 

this track is certainly disturbing and certainly shocking. success? well, i guess. looking back, i've always been torn between regret and satisfaction. i still am... 

initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015. released jan 7, 2016. sequenced jan 6-8, 2016. finalized on july 20, 2016. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version of this track appears on my first record, inri (inri015): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3 

this recording is a part of the following collections: 
1) inriℵ0: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-dvd-disc-volume-1 
2) inriℵ1: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-box-set 
3) inriℵ4: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/mp3-dvd-disc-volume-1 
5) inriℵ6: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1 
6) inriℵ17: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-bd-disc-volume-1 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1998, 2013, 2015, 2016). 

released march 20, 1998 

j - guitars, effects, bass, vocals, drum programming, drum kit, synths, sequencers, sampling, digital wave editing, production



but, biden didn't trick you like obama did.

you knew what you were voting for.

and, you did it anyways.
did you think the place was unpeopled until the 10th century, or what?
how can indigenous muslims in western china not immediately strike you as wrong?

how can you be so ignorant of history?
are these sanctions against china about the poor, repressed muslims in the west of the country?

no - not any more than the uighurs are indigenous to the region (they actually invaded fairly recently, displacing indigenous tocharians).

there are a lot of far better explanations for the developing trade war than this, even if it's a convenient excuse. but, let me tell you - it's a strange excuse. am i supposed to give a fuck about oppressed muslims?

awwww. 

it seems to be a first step towards the escalation of the containment policy brought in near the end of the obama administration, something that trump seems to have actually stepped away from and in truth screwed up fairly badly.

so, let me approach this based on reality and not on this concerning propaganda narrative, although that narrative should be understood, in terms of where the wealth and power in the west is, right now. the fact that this is the story they're using says a lot about how much power that muslims have in western society, at this point in time, and that's something that requires some checks, lest we collapse into muslim ignorance and islamic backwardsness.

what i'm going to say is this: some kind of containment of china is necessary. it's less about whether i like it or not. i mean, i'd rather not. but, they're an empire, too, and containment, in context, is a form of necessary self-defence. but, i'd rather see something other than sanctions, which are likely to be counterproductive.

the way to avoid a war with china is via careful strategic defense planning and increased social and economic integration, not via a trade war. but, the previous president left the country in a state of weakness.

if the sanctions are intended as a show of force to produce leverage for negotiations, i can look the other way for a little bit. i'll never support these kinds of sanctions, and i don't think it's the right tactic, but i can take it for what it is and bite my tongue. the justification being utilized in the press, however, suggests otherwise - it suggests this is intended to be long term. and, i must oppose any sort of long term sanctions on china, as i fear that will lead to a war rather than prevent one.

but, i've pointed out a few times that trumpism seems to have won and that biden is, in truth, the more aggressive and capable version of trump that so much of the left has been fear-mongering about materializing on the right. your competent fascist was right in front of you, the whole time.

this is the policy that trump would have created if he understood what he was doing. it's absolute continuity.  and, while i can hope it's intended as a strength-projecting segue to a shift, i don't think it is, and i must oppose it for the same reasons i opposed it when trump did it.

again: some kind of containment policy with the chinese is necessary, or they're going to overrun the continent and enslave us, or wipe us out.

but, we want integration and the dissolution of boundaries, not polarization and the erection of defensible borders; that biden is doing the latter rather than the former, and is dragging the client states with him, is evidence that trumpism continues to reign supreme within the biden administration.
so long, suckers...

now, i'm not saying there isn't a place for permaculture methods, in the sense that isolated communities and rural societies are necessarily going to continue to exist. if that's what you want, go at it.

but, no thank you.

so, it's not the future of anything at all - and we need to be careful that we don't trick ourselves that it is. 

leftists have a history of killing themselves off with stupid approaches to farming, and this is just the most recent example of it.
what i'm saying is not ground-breaking, it's foundational.

if we want to fix the food distribution system, we need to take control of it and collectivize it - not run off to build some cult somewhere out in the sticks.
you might imagine you'd live in some idyllic conservative society where you'd "become one with nature", or something stupid like that.

in fact, the wealthy people that you imagine you'd sell your food to (nobody else could afford it. and, india is the most unequal society in the world, remember; i'm not fact-checking this video, but india is a society where a small elite live gloriously, while millions and millions literally starve. that statistic is probably actually quite ghastly if you look into it.) would reduce you to abject slavery in no time.

for them it's a way out.

for you, it's a road to serfdom.
no, really.

it's a class marker, and a real one.

the monty python scene is funny and everything, and i posed it because it's a great satire regarding what people are imagining a system like this would actually be.

but, what a food production system based on permaculture would actually look like, and fairly quickly, is either functional or literal feudalism, as the wealthy buy up the farms (after fucking with the system to force the farmers to sell) and reduce the farmers to serfs.

if you're really rich, that might sound great.

but, if you're concerned about sustainability from a working class perspective, there's no future in this and it's just a waste of time bothering with it.
so, what should we do?

1. agitate the state for r&d funding and corporate grants.
2. let the capitalists built the hydroponic infrastructure with the money the state gives them.
3. rise up and seize the infrastructure.
4. ????
5. communism.

socialists like 5 step plans; capitalists can keep their 4 step plans if they insist, but they have a tendency to undo themselves. not enough steps to let the dialectic develop...
this organic farming movement is really the most conservative thing you could imagine, and i have no time for it.
is this what you want?

really?

no thanks. 

i'll keep pushing for ways to socialize the means of production, instead - and ways to use technology to increase food production, rather than abandon it in favour of population reduction.



the left is not supposed to be about the glorification of peasantry and the idolization of the protestant work ethic, it's supposed to be about the use of technology to abolish the doldrums of an existence focused on labour, to allow regular people the freedom to engage in art and science.

you can take your utopian bullshit and shove it up your ass. 

that's not my revolution. at all...
again: i have no patience for hippie bullshit, and i don't want to live the kind of peasant lifestyle they're presenting as ideal. i see it as far from ideal - i see it as the glorification of simplistic ignorance.

what i want is to fix complex, urban civilization, not blow it up. 

i like cities and want to continue living in spaces with abstract art scenes. i want to save this.

i hate small towns full of religious people and illiterate hippie buffoons. i don't want anything to do with that.
so, vice has gone to shit, recently. but, i've posted frequently about this for many years, and it goes back to a debate i had with occupy activists, who wanted to grow "organic farms" in toxic refuse sites from ottawa's lost days of industrial overproduction. i'm not going to bother and have blocked them from the recs, but i'll just leave this note here before i walk off.

here's something you probably don't know - almost all city parks are built on toxic waste sites. that's why they're parks. you're looking at prime real estate, quite frequently. but, the laws said they couldn't build houses or apartments or really anything there because there used to be a paint plant or a chemicals factory or something else there, before it was shut down however many generations ago. that's a general rule that holds for almost all city parks in almost all cities.

for that reason, urban soil is almost universally toxic and outdoor urban farming is actually a really dumb idea. if you're going to grow food outdoors, it needs to be grown in isolated areas that don't have a history of mercury or lead contamination, amongst other things. you might be shocked by what you find if you actually look into it...

environmental degradation is not some thing in the distant future, it's the reality we've been living through since the 60s, at least, meaning most of us have lived essentially our entire lives in ruined ecosystems and barely habitable ecologies. we don't realize how bad it is. we think it's an exaggeration, it's "not true here", it's some far off thing - no. it's real, and it's the life we've all lived through.

if you survive everything else, and you make it to a certain age, you will die of cancer; you've lived your whole life in a filthy, carcinogenic wasteland. even if you don't know it...

i'm not going to fact check the precise claims made in the video, although i'd invite somebody else to.

what i'll say is this, and i'll say it clearly: 

- if what you want is to escape to some bullshit thoreauvian fantasy where you live outside of society in a small, isolated community and fuck the world anyways then these small-scale permaculture settlements can offer you some escape. the pre-requisite, though, is that you need to be rich. 
- if you want to actually feed tens of billions of people, hydroponics is the only feasible solution.

the first option is a feasible escape plan for the elite, if the world is doomed, anyways. but, it will lead to mass starvation if it is ever adopted.

rather, it is the second option that mass movements on the left should be concerning themselves with, not the first - if you actually want to save the world, rather than find some way to escape the collapse.

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

you probably know that the word french comes from frank, and that the franks were a german-speaking people that invaded the empire in the year 406, in the event known as the "crossing of the rhine".

but, much like the surprise attack in 367, the franks were not a "tribe" so much as they were a confederacy. 

historians today do not think that the franks were an ethnic group at all. rather, frank is a german word that translates to free.

it seems as though it was, rather, a confederacy of "freemen" bent on abolishing the empire once and for all.

this is a theme throughout the roman occupation of western europe, and he gets the point across - rome could only hold these lands via massive occupation forces, and they would consistently revolt the moment the romans left.
you'll never see it written in any history book, but the clues are clear enough.

the fact is that the germans were met through much of europe, perhaps even in italy, as liberators, and not as barbarians - and that this repeated itself a thousand years later, when the vikings swooped down and burned the monasteries, who were exacting punitive taxes and enforcing brutal laws.

like i say: i'd make the point clearer.

but, it's not that bad.

and, i don't know what's next. 

i should listen to the incan episode, first.
i was expecting this to be staunchly pro-roman propaganda, and it certainly leans that way, but it's not that bad; it at least gets the point across about rome being an empire, and the inhabitants in britain being unwilling, colonized subjects. in fact, there were frequent revolts in all of the celtic heartlands (britain and modern day spain, france and germany), not just britain. i've spoken before of the celtic genocide at the hands of the romans, but the last remnants of celtic civilization were mostly subsumed by the dominant german tribes, as they moved into the region as allies of the indigenous celts. the celts became german, when they would not become roman.  

these revolts were frequent, widespread and nationalistic in character. this is so often glossed over and denied entirely by the official church histories of western europe, but it is the actual truth - rome was always a mediterranean empire, with few willing subjects north of the alps, or west of the rhone. this idea of western europe as inherently roman is just flat out wrong. while i would have focused more on the broader nature of the celtic revolts against imperial rule, the fact that he mentions it at all is non-standard and appreciated. the anglican church would hate this.

so, i don't have the reaction i was expecting.

i just want to point something out though - hadrian didn't realize that britain was an island. that's really why that wall is there - it walled off an unknown land to the north, of unknown size with unknown inhabitants. they could never be sure that there wasn't a giant landmass, with millions of barbarians. they decided they didn't want to find out....

it was a short month, but i've got the four blogs consolidated for dec, 2017 - including copying items from youtube directly to the blogs:

i'm almost done with this fall of civilizations thing (and i'm not sure what's next...), and i just want to make a brief comment on his concept of climate change.

the idea that climate causes civilizations to fall is pretty standard, nowadays. there's nothing obscure about that, and the same science that helps us understand climate change helps us piece together how changes in the climate may have affected different settlements. so, the premise is sound.

but, you can tell that the narrator has at some point entertained some less than ideal sources, as he tends to reference things that you don't hear legitimate scientists talk much about, in ways that sound like climate denial.

but, i haven't caught him say anything wrong yet. so, i don't have anything to add except a little caution that the source sounds compromised, without providing any definitive data that it actually is.

so, for example, he talked about the "medieval warm period" and the "little ice age" during the cambodian episode, which made me cringe. these things happened, but they were not global events - they were examples of regional climate variations restricted strictly to northern europe. nothing of the sort would have been apparent in far away cambodia, so it's really not appropriate to drop the language in those terms. but, when he actually worked out the climate effects, he point to relevant tree ring and ice core samples, and there wasn't anything to really correct him on - except the language he used, and the fact that it made it clear his background isn't in science.

so, he might fuck this up still.

but, he hasn't yet.

some caveats are consequently required. but, i've pointed out before that the interdisciplinary nature of the videos is actually fairly developed, and he's broadly doing a pretty good job, in the context of what he's broadcasting he's doing - a series of short films about the rise and collapse of various historical cultures.
if you put the god hypothesis and the alien hypothesis beside each other and compare them, it is the god hypothesis that strikes me as so ridiculous that it should be discarded without further thought and the alien hypothesis that strikes me as likely enough to warrant further investigation.
if you want to talk about aliens with me, you have to start with ejecting the idea that this is something paranormal or supernatural. to me, the whole basis of finding the idea of extra-terrestrial existence interesting is that it provides a naturalistic explanation for a large amount of history that we otherwise have to discard as utter nonsense.

if there are creatures born somewhere else in the universe, and they have evolved to live for hundreds or thousands of years, and they have managed to develop long-lived craft, and can even live and breed on them, then what, exactly, is paranormal or supernatural about that? it's entirely consistent with a darwinian concept of the natural universe.

and, again, that's the point, or at least it is to me; it helps me make sense of religion, in a way which i've never been able to otherwise get my head around.

it would be useful if we had a little more positive evidence. but, we may find out one day that all the evidence was right in front of us.
that will take me from mid 2003 to mid 2005, although period 3 will hang over until late 2006.
i was posting this yesterday evening before i crashed...

this is just a reminder as to what is coming up directly, soon. if you've forgotten, or never knew. i need to set the pc back up first to review my notes and make sure everything is in order, but...

1) inri075.  this was written in kelowna in 2003. it ends up as the start of the interplanetary isomorphism, but the purpose of inri075 will be to collect the sound created in mid to late 2003. this will mostly be posted as is.

2) inri076. the lost symphony. this was written over 2003 while waiting around in various disparate places - bus shelters, back alleys, wilderness escapes, apartments, etc. it will segue between reflections and the interplanetary isomorphism, finishing my eighth record. this is going to be a major recording project and will probably take much of the summer.

3) inri077. this is an ep of cassette demos recorded in sarah's bedroom. i will mostly post it as is.

4) inri078. this is a demo that is already uploaded as is.

5) inri079 needs to be checked for current data, but is otherwise my completed 7th record.

6) inri080 & inri081 are listed on my hard drive. there may be an 'inri records' compilation in there, and perhaps a second compilation, as well. or, was it something to do with impressionist jazz punk? there are some tracks from inri086 that were written in the summer of 2004, and i think i wanted to 
take note of that.

7) inri082. the interplanetary isomorphism, itself, which is mostly done:

8) inri083 is listed on my hard drive. it may be the previous impressionist jazz punk disc. or it may be the cycles per second disc, but this would be mislabeled.

9) inri084 is the first cycles per second ep. this is done.:

10) this is likely inri085, and will be a serious recording project:

11) inri086. these are demos, and they're being released as is:

12) inri087 is the next symphony, xenophanes, and is mostly done:

13) inri088 will then be done,which is my 9th & 10th lps.

if i can get this done, i'll want to stop and refocus.
today's post is inri008.

===

my recollection of the initial recording of this track is unfortunately somewhat vague. when we push our memories like i'm trying to, we become more likely to imagine the past in terms that never actually existed. so, how real is this vague memory of wanting to hear some backwards guitars? i fear that it's perilous to try and force my mind to be more specific. 

it's at least fully consistent with what i know about the situation. this was initially the second track recorded in my basement studio in the fall of 1996. so, i was still at the point where i was looking to try things in the studio for the first time. as for backwards guitars? i was very interested in both zappa and hendrix (two of my biggest guitar influences) at the time, and that is actually blatantly obvious if you listen to inri000. they both used backwards guitars. there are multiple occasions on inri000 (and afterwards...) where the nods to both of these players are beyond heavy-sleeved. so, my vague memory at the very least makes sense. 

how i made the jump from trying to create a backwards guitar solo to turning a song into a palindrome is another question and i don't really have a good answer besides stumbling upon it as i was listening to it. clearly, it is the case that this struck me as a good idea at some point along the way. 

when i went to recreate the track in early 1998, i felt the need to recreate the palindrome effect. so, i never saved any version of the track in forward order (without the backwards overdub) or released it in any kind of way. for all these years, there has simply never been a forwards version of the track. 

the remastering process over 2015 has finally given me the opportunity to create a forwards version and spin it off as a single for the express reason of documenting the track as it was actually initially written, which was as a fairly straight forward alternative pop song. that's a description that i do believe is very old. yet, i may be imagining the past, too... 

the new album mix is a palindrome, as it always has been. the electronics mix is constructed using the same algorithm. the backwards mix is just literally that. combined together, the forwards and backwards mixes create the album version. the 2013 remasters are appended as bonuses. 

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. compiled on jan 4, 2016. finalized on july 11, 2016. bonus tracks added and re-finalized on july 18, 2016. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version of this track appears on my second record, inriched (inri021): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched 

regarding the subject matter of the deleted vocals/lyrics, please see the following vlog (which is also available on inriℵ6): 
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuhdwde1YKI&t=895s 

this recording is a part of the following collections: 
1) inriℵ0: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-dvd-disc-volume-1 
2) inriℵ2: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set 
3) inriℵ4: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/mp3-dvd-disc-volume-1 
5) inriℵ6: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1 
6) inriℵ17: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-bd-disc-volume-1 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1998, 2013, 2015, 2016). 

released february 11, 1998 

j - guitars, effects, bass, drum programming, digital wave editing, loops, vocals, drum kit, tapes, production

Monday, March 22, 2021

so, what i've done is start at the beginning and, whenever i see a thread in one of the blogs, have noted it, with the hope of maintaining consistency and completeness, godel be damned. the blogs will each morph, now, to better fit these threads.

this should help everybody understand the differences between these blogs, which i'm only beginning to fully grasp, myself.

politics - general blog with a focus on current events:
- life narrative. feelings. events. reflections. dialogues. stories.
- essays. rants. comments. short stories, notes, reactions to quotes.
- philosophical reflections
- political activism
- lectures exclusive
- debates
- news reports exclusive (except sarcasm)
- mathematical & scientific analysis, of varying levels
- historical analysis
- cultural analysis
- economic analysis
- legal analysis
- thoughts on geopolitics & current events
- blogs of any sort, really
- any excerpts of existing texts
- anything published to the appspot site, including cd reviews, concert reviews & music web
- food blog
- all official music releases (including music videos)
- some extra discussions outside of the main narrative
- persies
- benchmark discs
- reviews of substantive influences in real time
- concerts
- headphones
- posts about isps & network topology
- installation files & scripts
- posts about non-musical celebrities, and about some newsworthy musical celebrities
- theory of art sequence
- other youtube videos posted and/or commentary around them should have some kind of relevance to one of these categories
- general commentary about web pages and their uses (with personal use commentary, too)

music journal - personal reflections on the process of writing and recording music, including full documentation when possible:
- life narrative. feelings, events. reflections. dialogues.
- studio narrative
- cover art
- all official music releases
- damaged cds are part of the narrative.
- computer troubleshooting is a part of the narrative
- cleaning the studio. scripting machines.
- benchmark discs / obligatory influentials / comment threads about influences
- reviews of new records by selected artists that are of specific historical influence
- rap news series
- some obituaries of direct or indirect influences
- no appspot reviews, but reviews of new music affecting me as i'm recording.
- concerts
- persies
- headphones
- installation files & files created when recording
- posts about isps & network topology (ends after getting isp access)
- posts about personal social media sites
- posts about music theory or music history or music as any other academic interest
- posts about music production, gear, equipment, etc
- posts about the guitar, the development of the guitar, guitar music history, specific guitarists, etc
- comments where i drop my own music
- comments where i present biographical information in a way that is relevant to understanding my influences and development as an artist
- theory of art sequence
- concepts that relate to topics explored in songs
- some excerpts of existing texts as they are relevant to art or my artistic development
- discussions with people inquiring about the music

dtk - general media commentary in it's fullest abstraction:
- any posts containing music videos of any sort
- any youtube videos or comments around videos except those that are considered official new sources
- tv show & film excerpts
- anything about ads
- news source allowed for light content or content about music or media criticism
- interviews with musicians or authors, but not speeches or lectures, or news reports.
- posts with pictures or comments on pop culture or music, broadly, including pop culture authors (interpret broadly)
- comments about popular authors or philosophers, or that cite them, and my own views on well known philosophical concerns or scientific theories.
- atheist & anti-religionist posts + pro-pagan posts (this is considered literature related).
- posts about history in theoretical or broad terms (this is considered literature related)
- posts about freedom of speech and artistic integrity 
- climate change posts in any generality (literature related)
- media commentary & criticism
- cds, cd reviews, cd collections, etc
- anything posted to the appspot site as a review
- music web
- official original album releases
- spontaneous song lyrics
- minimal personal commentary (almost none).
- no persies, except profile updates.
- gaming exclusive
- posts about isps & network topology
- posts about document presentation or programming in general
- any paintings & cover art
- release dates
- animal vids
- general commentary about web pages and their uses (but not personal use commentary)
- headphones sequence
- border stuff because of concerts
- concerts
- not considered official news sources: vice news, fox news.
- posts about music theory or music history or music as any other academic interest
- comments on articles about music and art in any abstraction
- some excerpts of existing texts as they are relevant to art or culture, broadly
- some (usually ironic) self-referential comments about my posting habits
- gen x identity posts
- theory of art sequence

travel - any posts about leaving the house and things done when leaving the house
- posts made to facebook, blogger, etc from somewhere physically outside the house or about things that happened outside of the house
- travel blog needs to be more about action scenes, and less about documenting every time i leave the house. so, actually try to avoid posts that just mention going somewhere, and make it more about the narrative of actually going somewhere.
- should avoid planning posts
- posts about not going out
- should include reflections on travelling or moving
- reflections, interactions or thoughts made while walking
- reflective posts made about the weather in the context of being out
- thoughts about the weather happening outside
- some imaginary traveling, or projecting traveling ideas
- posts about isps & network topology
- persies for going out only
- border stuff because of concerts
- concerts
- posts about time zones
- posts about odsp renewal
- posts about dr's offices
- posts about groceries, nutrition & diet. food blog. garbage posts.
- posts about buying & shipping items online
- initial headphones sequence, as a purchase
- climate change rants that are about the actual weather
- anything about anything about the sun 
- stomach ache & migraine posts. sickness, in general.
- dr office posts & testicle removal posts
- air conditioning posts & posts about inside weather
- posts about neighbourhood cats and other local animal sightings or experiences, including insects and parasites in the house
- quitting smoking posts, marijuana posts, hormones posts, coffee posts, other drug posts [all personal use or reflections]
- reactions to mail
- space travel, electric vehicles & other forms of transportation
- any posts about energy use or electrical costs
- bicycle posts
- personal legal battle posts (because there are adventures, and they relate to travel posts)
- posts about cyber attacks, power outages, illegal entry, etc (because it's adventuresome and relates to the travelling portion & the legal stuff)
- quarantine & covid posts as they relate to the border, to concerts, spread, the curve, etc
- local political activism
- posts about moving in any abstraction
- geography posts
- history posts as they relate to geography (including empire theory sequence)
- genetics posts as they relate to geography
- posts about anybody coming to the door
canada does not have privately owned hospitals.

all hospitals here are public property.
if you're sitting there, quietly refusing to leave, the cops just simply don't have the authority to remove you from a hospital for "trespassing" - just like they wouldn't have the authority to drag you out of a public park, or out of city hall. 

all the cop did was state the trespassing law. she had no idea. there's no case law cited at all.

these cops have, on average, something like a grade 12 education.  they're screened for low intelligence, on top of it. so, it's not some kind of accident - the system is designed to be impenetrable.

but, this is why we have activists, and this is what we do.
so, i got my report from the oiprd on the hospital arrest for trespassing on public property, and the cop doesn't have the slightest idea what she's talking about. again. i'm going to have to write a report explaining that hospitals are public property, and you can't be removed from them, unless you're threatening somebody else, which i was not doing.

the idea that a doctor can just throw me out and have me arrested because i refused to leave is entirely extralegal in this country, and the cops are in no position to offer an opinion on it.

so, i'm going to have to take this to divisional court to fight for access rights to healthcare, as well.

somebody has to do these things...
so, i'm steering clear of the dorian hypothesis at the moment, for the reason that i actually think it makes a lot of sense, even if it needs to be modified a little. early descriptions may have been exaggerated more than wrong. this is otherwise, again, a fairly gentle introduction into something that is probably obscure to most, and i should appreciate it for what it is.

the dorians and the sea peoples were probably one and the same, and the confederacy probably sailed down from the black sea rather than from sardinia, which is probably a false cognate. that the philistines were of greek origin is apparently told in their own histories, and that ought to be enough to more or less put the origin of the sea peoples to rest, even if it doesn't answer the question as to what exactly caused the collapse - which was probably a combination of factors, partially stemming from climate as a root cause.

but, i just again want to try to present the perspective of the poor, and by that i do not mean the urban poor within the empire. the really poor people were of course the barbarians, and that is true throughout history.

the historian gets it's information from the literate, settled culture of which it is a part of. that is always true, nearly by definition. so, it sees history from the perspective of the city and naturally sees the city as a crowning achievement of human civilization.

but, to the person outside the city - the subsistence farmer or the hunter-gatherer - the city is a source of oppression. it is from the city that the slave raiders come, to steal the children and the wives. it is the city that comes to rape and steal and plunder. so, the city becomes a force of evil, one that must be destroyed.

while it seems that the discovery of cheap iron played a major role in the bronze age collapse, i've long believed that the sea peoples were driven more by revenge than by climate. we see this with the viking raids, which were at one point seen as incomprehensible to history, but are now understood as a self-defence mechanism against the expanding colonialism of the christian church, to the north. 

so, might the dorians and their allies have decided to put an end to the slave raiding, to the theft of their children, once and for all - and burned the cities down in an act of vengeance and retributive justice?

we'll never really know.

i ask you this question and present it to you in a specific way, because i fully expect that you don't know that.
did you know that slavery is actually still legal in most of the muslim world, and the slaves are almost entirely african in birth and origin?

it was, after all, this arab slave trade that the spaniards were initially attempting to emulate, partly because there were slave markets in spain at the time of the reconquista.
ok, so i got through the process of making sure i kept track of everything i added to the blogs over the previous rebuilding last month. i need to have some kind of consistency.

next, is to rewind this blog to...let's go back to when i moved into the last apartment, which was december, 2017....and read through it with the intent to understand if anything is missing.

i'd might as well rebuild the other three as i'm doing it.
there's an election in ontario next june. 

i'd actually rather they be distracted by covid-19 than slash and burn everything. so, there's a chance this could actually be a blessing - if we can get rid of them right away.

ford is going to have the opposite logic, in that he's going to want to go into the election by trumpeting a return to normal. his coalition is small businesses and socially conservative immigrants, and they're both going to want these restrictions lifted.

but, for that reason, it makes sense to stay in lockdown through the summer, in the hopes it's gone by the fall - which it won't be.

things might get better in the rural areas before then, but i neither expect the border to open nor windsor to exit lockdown until the fall at the earliest- and probably not the spring, for either.

again: this isn't about science. this is about politics. and, when the politicians tell you it's about science, that's just politics speaking.
so, when are we going to at least see a removal of restrictions in windsor, then?

if you follow the logic coming from the premier's office, the reason we have these restrictions in windsor and sarnia is not due to the situation on the ground but due to the proximity to the border.

toronto will be last out. but, we probably won't be far ahead of them.
while any causal linkage would be dubious at best, if a spike in cases were to follow a border re-opening, the government would be done for.

they can't do it...

don't expect them to.
when do i think it's going to be safe to re-open the border and get back to going to shows?

well, i don't think the science supported cancelling most shows (i'd support canceling something like the dso, because the audience is older), and especially not bar shows, or closing the border in the first place...

so, as this is political, that's the question to ask - when is it going to be politically feasible to risk re-opening the border?

and, this is the shitty answer - after the next election.

i wouldn't expect the border to re-open until the sitting government regains it's majority or is replaced. it's painted itself into a corner, and it can't navigate it's way out. it may even be it's undoing. but, the party's newly sought after fake left base won't allow it to re-open the border until cases in the united states fall to near zero, and that is never going to happen.

the fact is that the number of deaths in this province hovers at around 10-20 per day, which is, in fact, borderline negligible.
so, i just did the dishes this morning, instead.

i was going to get my iron tested tomorrow morning but decided i should wait until i'm eating steady for about a week. i skip meals all of the time - i don't want to do that this week, i need to make sure i'm getting as much iron as i can, to see if i can absorb it or not. so, i want as good a reading as i can get and i should wait until early next week. 

that means i'm inside for the next week and i'm just shifting back to the blogging section until thursday. this weekend wasn't what i hoped for, but at least all of that stuff is now done. my bed is clean, and i won't be scrubbing any floors for a while, so i should get back to normal showering cycles, as well.

i just hope i've managed to block the drugs out of this space.

where was i?

- i was going through from sept 24th, 2018 ----> now and rebuilding the four blogs, along with several side documents at one drive.
- but, i wanted to go through and understand what files may have been removed, if any. so, i rewound back to early 2018 and was reading through them, forwards.
- i decided i can probably build the dtk blog up as i do that. at least.
- but i needed to go back and reread the components i added to each of the vlogs to understand what should and shouldn't be added. <-----done travel & music but still need to do dtk properly from nov/2019
most theory is bullshit.

do the experiment.
listen - i didn't learn about being transgendered in a classroom. i'm not applying an academic theory. i'm living a life. and, if my empirical experiences don't uphold the theory, it follows that the theory is wrong, at least in how it applies to my life.

i can work through this on my own - i don't need somebody else to tell me how to think about it.

i'm an individual, and it's my individual experiences that are important to me, not some shared collective experience determined by some eggheads at some academy somewhere.

so, no - what i'm presenting to you is not what you read in a book. but, listen to me, don't believe what you read.
today's post is inri007.

===

so, how exactly does one go about being transgendered, anyways? i mean, like anything else, i guess you have to come to terms with it, first. then, what? 

it was the "what next?" part that took me a very long time to grapple with before i was able to come to some kind of course of action. i don't remember exactly how old i was when i realized that i was more like a girl than a boy, but i will state that my thought process was always that i was like a girl, rather than that i was a girl. i have to be blunt: i was a precocious child. i understood the biology of sexual organs at a pretty young age. i knew which organ i had, that it was the same as the one my dad had and that it was different than my mom. i never felt as though i was in the wrong body - that's not how i'd articulate it. i knew i was male. but, all my friends were girls. i preferred to do "girl things". so, i realized at a very, very young age that i was more similar to the girls in my life than to the boys, despite being well aware that i was genetically a boy. it functioned more on the level of social inclusion and conscious choice of gender role than it did on the level of anything biological. am i really that atypical? i don't know. but, i know that i never had any difficulty at all, whatsoever, in separating between sex, gender and gender roles. so, for example: i have very early memories of asking my mom to let me wear lipstick, and of asking to get my ears pierced (3,4 years old) but i don't attach those memories to feelings of gender dysphoria. i didn't see any reason why boys couldn't wear make-up. further, nobody really "corrected" me on it. so, i grew up without any shame or second thoughts attached to being a boy that was more like a girl, and consequently without any particularly strong urges to become a girl. my very early life actually finds it's best explanation in the theories of radical feminism: because the gender binary was never enforced on me, i never felt oppressed by it. i have to argue for a very healthy early upbringing. 

what screwed me up and set me back a good ten years was the school system. when i got there at the age of four and a half, i wouldn't talk to the boys. i wanted to skip rope and play hopscotch with the girls. well, all my friends were girls. i didn't know how to play with the boys. what's a marble? i just didn't know. i got stuck with a fossil of a kindergarten teacher that actually flat out banned me from skipping rope. worse, she banned me from reading books. my absolutely docile and clinically rational temperament at that age probably worked against me. but, i had two choices: i could play with the trucks with the boys in the corner or i could go to sleep. 

in fact, i slept a lot. 

but, gradually, the system socialized me as a male. or, at least it seemed like it did. 

my path through elementary school didn't really ease up on the gender segregation until the seventh grade, at which point it was essentially too late. the system had successfully prevented me from socializing with girls, but had never taught me how to socialize with boys. so, i had spent the last twelve years of school in social isolation, usually without any friends at all. i'd lost the opportunity to have all the gendered experiences one associates with childhood - which means i was deeply socially stunted. i was still pretty smart, academically speaking. however, i was operating at the social level of a much younger child because the school system had arrested my social development through segregating me into a gender role that i didn't understand how to fulfill. 

by the time i got around to writing this song at the age of 16, i'd just become entirely stoic about the whole thing. i knew i was more like a girl, but what exactly was i going to do about it? i guess i had the perspective, at 16, that life was largely about managing misfortune and you just have to deal with shit, whether you like it or not. 

rational? perhaps, from a certain perspective. it gnawed at me, though. the trauma underlying the track was the realization that i was a good part of the way through puberty, without ever having signed up for it. this was by no means unexpected, either, and i didn't ultimately feel that i had any recourse of action in preventing it. but, i felt like i'd been cheated out of something and was being forced into something i didn't remotely want. 

as with the rest of the early tracks, the lyrics here are at their core the exploration of a morbid fantasy. i'm taking things too far, i'm taking any excuse i can to keep taking things too far and i'm enjoying watching you squirm when i do it. in one sense, it's a sarcastic allegory on the question of thinking with one's cock, which is a bio-chemical problem that all testosterone producers are forced to come to terms with at some point. in another sense, it's a transgendered teenager carrying out a sort of morbid fantasy and desperately looking for a way to prevent the masculinization of my body. 

it took me another five years or so of internal struggle before i could get to the point where i saw hormone therapy as a realistic option, rather than a kind of utopian fantasy that would be perpetually out of reach until i finally expired. 

this is the only period 1 piece that was further expanded through the addition of some bass and piano sequencing near the start of the piece. the vocals were also brought back in without redaction. so, this ep starts off with a full reconstruction of the piece, intended as a lead for this single. the ep further comprehensively documents all other released versions of the track. 

initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. electronics added on july 16, 2015. compiled on jan 4, 2016. sequenced on jan 6-8, 2016. finalized on july 10, 2016. hidden track added and refinalized on july 21, 2016. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version of this track appears on my first record, inri (inri015): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3 

this recording is a part of the following collections: 
1) inriℵ0: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-dvd-disc-volume-1 
2) inriℵ1: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-box-set 
3) inriℵ4: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/mp3-dvd-disc-volume-1 
5) inriℵ6: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1 
6) inriℵ17: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-bd-disc-volume-1 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1997, 1998, 2013, 2015, 2016). 

released february 6, 1998 

j - guitars, effects, bass, vocals, synthesizers, drum programming, drum kit, sequencing, sampling, digital wave editing, production

mass inequality is both a function of and the first step towards the collapse of any advanced society.

if we're smarter than our ancestors, we should figure it out this time.
as mentioned previously, mayan history is almost entirely mythical. this is pieced together by looking at glyphs in a dead language and building guesses on archaeological remains. we can come up with broad concepts and forces that shaped the society, but attempts to be specific are foolish. that said, i look at the tent cities today in california, and i wonder what role that inequality might have played in the movement of people out of the cities and into the forest. and, let's be clear about this - the society didn't evaporate. it didn't fly off into space. they didn't all die on the spot. they left the cities, they abandoned urbanism, and they took up life in the jungle, instead. that sounds crazy, but don't we see that in the united states today, as late capitalism makes urban civilization an impossibility for wide swaths of the population, who are forced to live in parks and subsist in the wild, instead? is that really what happened? and, will it happen again?

i had to take a nap...

the wood is cut. the bathroom is spotless. but, i lost the evening.

so, this weekend wasn't what was intended, but the space is at least as clean as it can be. what's left to do now is to take all the items from the other half of the apartment and put them away to various places - a "tidying" operation, but an absolutely massive one.

i need to get some eggs and take a shower. and, if i can at least put the hardware i want to use into the other machine and put it on it's perch, that's a step for next week.