Thursday, September 12, 2013

after a two year hiatus, the studio is finally back

seriously? yes, seriously. finally...


.....and everything else in that corner set up.


i have some cleaning to do tonight, and a number of small pieces of furniture (tables mostly) to make or find over the next few months, but i'm now done the things i can do with the things that i have.

Re: LANDLORD. E-MAIL CHECK .....READ

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: The Initial Landlord

well, i actually unboxed the other shelving unit. ha.

i had to leave a lot of furniture in ottawa, including the speaker tables i had for my studio. it turns out those shelves are the perfect size, and the shelves themselves are really useful for storing cords and stuff. there's a picture attached.

the decent thing for me to do is to offer to buy the shelves. if i stay here for 10-15 years, you just bought me furniture - which would be very kind, but is well beyond your obligations as a landlord. if i move out next year, i think i'll probably want to take them with me because the size is ideal. so, i don't know what they cost, but i can just add that cost to the next rent check.

Re: Please confirm your dental appt. with Dr. Clarke

hi.

i've moved to windsor! so, i definitely need to cancel this and all future appointments at your office.
Shelly Teagan
talked about rondo form in my class today

was gonna take a picture of the slide

but then my teacher saw me

another chance will arise

Jessica Amber Murray
:) funny, i've been listening to mt zion all week and taking note of the persistent use of round singing....

Please confirm your dental appt. with Dr. Clarke

A Friendly Reminder

We look forward to seeing you at your scheduled dental appointment. Please take a moment to confirm this appointment by clicking on the link below or giving us a call directly.

Cordially,
Dr. Robert Clarke

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

TekSavvy Order Confirmation

From: <support@teksavvy.com>
To: <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>

Thank you for choosing TekSavvy for your Internet needs!

TekSavvy Solutions, Inc. : Account Information

Your preferred language: English
Your preferred daytime contact telephone number:

On the date of activation we require that someone be onsite, and able to answer the technicians confirmation call to the telephone number above (typically approximately 30 minutes before arrival). Failure to answer this call may result in your order being rescheduled. Someone 18 years or older must be present at your location for the dispatch.

Please be advised that TekSavvy and/or Cogeco are not responsible for any wiring past your cable jack/wall outlet.

Your first bill was processed today, and your monthly prepaid billing date from now on will be on the 20 of each month, starting in October.  Please see below for a detailed list of the first month charges.

Your TekSavvy Cable 6 Lite service is set to be tentatively activated on 25-09-2013.  Please note that your activation date could be delayed up to 10 business days due to unanticipated circumstances. You should expect a follow-up email confirming the appointment time.  If you have not received this email 48 hours prior to your first appointment choice, please contact us as soon as possible so that we may investigate.

You have 75 GB of data transfer (bandwidth) included with your account.  This includes both upload and download.

Please save this order confirmation email. If you see something incorrect and need to make a change, please contact our customer service department at 1-877-779-1575 immediately. Failure to advise us of the corrections 2 business days prior to the activation date may result in delays or additional fees.

Your Account # is:

Total charges for the first month

Shipping - Canada Post: $10.00
Activation Discount: -$20.00
Activation fee: $44.95
Modem: $99.00
Cable 6 Lite: $24.95
Subtotal: $158.90
ON HST:$20.66
Total: $179.56

We would appreciate if you could verify the information on this order by clicking below. You will be redirected to our confirmation system. Once your order is confirmed we will not need to contact you and as such if you have any problems or concerns you will need to communicate with us to make us aware of the problem.

Click To Confirm
ok, so i've been going to the same handful of places for a month, and i'm starting to notice people eyeing me. i've had a few interesting responses from men. here's one...

"hey sweetheart can i borrow your.....oh, sorry dude, i thought you were a chick. haha. can i borrow your lighter, man?"
"actually, you were sort of..."
"sorry about that. can't believe i thought you were a chick, hahaha."

ugh.

that, i can sort of shrug off. ultimately, i don't really care. more annoying is getting the eye from women. on the one hand, i'm sort of used to that. on the other, i feel the need to say something.

trans people come in all different types. the stereotype of the gay male transvestite, though, is largely...well, i suppose it applies ok to gay men that like to dress up "like women" at bars, as though they're going to a costume party. it doesn't, however, apply well to people that identify as transgendered 24/7. we come in different types, but the statistical norm for trans-women is actually a very socially submissive personality type that is almost the opposite of aggressive flamboyancy.

it's ok if you think a trans person is cute, but giving them the eye that you give guys at bars is actually borderline oppressive, as it asserts a gender role from a distance. it sends a message of "i see through your disguise, and think you're a cute boy and want you to come to talk to me".

again, it's ok if you think a trans person is cute, but please try to be a little more thoughtful. i'm a very friendly and approachable person, but this heteronormative eye contact shit is not a game i want to play.

cutting ventilation into the desk for the pc tower

cleaning out the recording pc

....and this is my ridiculous, custom-built music pc - all cleaned up after a night of taking it apart and putting it back together. it's a few years old now, but hasn't aged in any meaningful way. to be honest, i'm not sure i can conceive of a reason i'd ever want to upgrade this thing. 1 TB hard disk space, 4 inboard soundcards (including the disabled integrated card....3 in use), 4 GB RAM and i don't care about the rest because it doesn't matter.....

Shelly Teagan
OMFG lenin IS ALL UP IN KISSING LENI

FUCKING LENI

AND NOW IM JEALOUS

It's so super awesome. I'm like overjoyed

Jessica Amber Murray
ugh.

Shelly Teagan
yeah i'm going a bit crazy pver it

Jessica Amber Murray
i'm not really sure what the thing is with leni. but, i think it's important that you apply the same standards to lenin that you'd expect him to apply to you, you know? otherwise, that's gonna be a messy argument.

Shelly Teagan
same standards ? ?

what do you mean ?

Jessica Amber Murray
well, i think lenin's watched you make out with people before, or heard about, i think you're allowed to be jealous, but it's maybe not fair for you to be *too* jealous.

i just mean that you'd rightly tell lenin he doesn't own you. and it's maybe reasonable to remember that the converse is also true, as you run through various fantasies of murdering leni.

that's a shitty thing to see, though. well, you know what you always say about lenin, though...

maybe not what you wanted to hear, but very true. anyways, i'm out for the night.

Shelly Teagan
Lol its not out of jealousy in that way. I feel betrayed because its LENI and she bas been really abusive to me. For some reason lenin is totally cool with it. She also is using him to make me jealous and to win some kind of fucked up power play she’s had with me for thw last year

Its horrifying because she is really fucking abusive to her partner. Her partner is this super nice guy who pays fr her education and has the best politics. He loves her to pieces. I know she cbeats on hm all the time because she fucking boasts about it.

She also sexts people through her partners phone and has sex with them while hes in the next room sleepi.g. shes a fucking parasite and i want her to leave people i care about alone.

Also im infuriated at lenin for doing this and never being accountable for his own shitty perpetuation of lenis power game. Its like he gets a kick out of her being extremely abusive and jealous of me. Because he feels like shes fighting for him as a prize or something.... and i guess its nice to be a prize. Anyways this makes me feel bad, and i dont put up with anything in relationships. If you betray me, were done.

Jessica Amber Murray
i remember her showing up to one of the student strike meetings with bruises all over her, and she explained that she started a fight with her boyfriend and they were punching each other all night... honestly? i know you care about lenin, but it seems  like he's put you through a lot of misery and maybe walking away is a better idea. he's continually displayed an almost chronic deficit of attention to your desires.

Shelly Teagan
lol yeh fuck lenin

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

RE: LANDLORD. E-MAIL CHECK .....READ

From: The Initial Landlord
To: "'Jessica Murray'" death.to.koalas@gmail.com

Its okay if you screw into the wall......I will have no issues with that.....I have been working this week 7am to 5:30p and possible next week. I will not get a chance to come by soon..., maybe on the week I might be able to stop by with stud finder and pick up shelves.
installation file:
en_windows_8_1_x64_dvd_2707217.iso
installation file:
en_windows_8_1_x86_dvd_2707392.iso

1000 homo djs - supernaut

Collector's Item

this is a strange little ep that brings together three disparate al jourgenson side projects. it could have only been released as a throw away to fans, and maybe to get some extra drug money. regardless, it has become a sort of a special little collector's item for fans of several different bands.

the first of these projects is a cover of black sabbath's supernaut (and if you have a good eye, you'll note the cover art parody), with trent reznor on vocals. maybe. see, there's a big story around this that i'll quickly summarize: reznor's label demanded that the vocals be removed and jourgenson responded by claiming he used an alternate take with his own vocals in the first place so there was nothing to remove. reliable sources claim jourgenson was trolling the label and the released product had reznor on vocals. so, there's been an open question ever since: did al actually redo the vocals? well, they did sound fairly similar back then, but i've listened to lots of trent and lots of al and it sounds like.....both. trent doesn't howl like al, that's a stylistic giveaway, and you can hear a bit of al's accent here and there, but at points it sounds exactly like trent, too. it's actually a duet, and was probably meant as one. an "original" version with reznor on vocals was released years later in a special box set, and nobody can hear the difference. as for the track? it doesn't stray much from the original.

the second track appears to be a lard outtake. it's an effective satire, and a good party trick, but isn't something much of anybody is going to want to listen to repeatedly. well, if you can find me somebody that wants to repeatedly listen to an asshole cop being an asshole for eight minutes...

the last two tracks, however, are a lot better. the name, '1000 homo djs', stems from a comment somebody made about early ministry that al thought was comical enough to appropriate. well, that's typical. al really likes to have some sardonic fun with the less intelligent members of our species. so, these last two tracks are what al thought that "1000 homo djs" would want to listen to. :). they're actually from the period right after twitch and consequently seem to capture him in a sort of pivot point, right where he's moving away from synth pop and into satirical electro-metal cyber-punk. it catches him in a sort of a middle point that seems strongly informed by the type of punk rock that was branching out into grunge at the time. it's bluntly catchy and rather different than anything else jourgenson would ever release.

lyrically, though, these are both little gems. it begins with a convincing call to reject bourgeois politics in favour of misanthropy, and to do so with the enticing flair of a homo dj, and it ends with a plea for something better than spending the nights buying rounds while they send our loved ones off to die for no reason...

what you really want is the apathy single, but you won't find that anywhere. i'm not even sure if you'll find this disc any more. i can't claim an ep should have been an ep, so i have to be honest: if you're not a collector, this is best downloaded for free.

those last two tracks are worth checking out, though.

stream:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcJaZ-Hrr3Q

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/music/artists/1000HomoDJs/1990-Supernaut/index.html

Sunday, September 8, 2013

naomi klein is awesome. i love that she used the platform they gave her for this purpose.

ps: how many times have i said exactly this?

http://www.canadianprogressiveworld.com/2013/09/04/naomi-klein-urges-unions-join-climate-change-fight/

Re: LANDLORD. E-MAIL CHECK .....READ

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: The Initial Landlord

ok, then i'm going to need to run through with the studfinder again. i'm not in a hurry, just whenever you come back for the shelf.

i'm thinking that if you really don't want me to screw into the wall, what i could do is get some long pieces of wood (should cost less than $10) and screw them into a board on the floor, then l-brace the shelves to the pieces of wood. i'd get what i want, and there would be no effect on the wall that way, so the unit could be just removed one day down the road or you could just leave it there and paint it. i'm going back to home depot at the beginning of october to get some more wood, so i'm sure i'll have some more scrap for extra shelves.

either way, it'll look good. it's a very logical place for a corner shelf.

as for the name, the truth is that i picked jessica because it easily maps back to j. most people have called me j. so, that's actually preferable. j > jessica or jess or other variations thereof > jason.

also, before i forget once again: i noticed some water leaking from upstairs into the shower about 7:00 PM friday night. i don't think it was the shower. i heard some kind of motor running, so i suspect it may have been a dishwasher or something.....?

i never actually took any courses in knot theory.

54-40 - smilin' buddha cabaret

 

hit and miss

eeeeeeeeeeeeye, eye-eye-eye've got an ocean prrrrrl...

it's easy to forget that "grunge" was a north-west phenomenon, not a strictly seattle one. geographically, vancouver is actually closer to seattle than portland, oregon is. of the handful of "grunge" bands that came out of vancouver in the early to mid 80s, 54-40 is probably the most well known and this record, which was massively successful in canada, is probably their most well known, as well, due to the track ocean pearl, which seemed to be on every radio station and every television channel for most of the summer of 1994. while they're not afraid to hit a harder edge sound that i find most reminiscent of mudhoney, the act generally operates in REM territory, mixing straight-ahead alternative rock with acoustic ballads, jangle pop and the odd little studio trick.

while a profound part of my early teenage alt-rock leftist programming, the record doesn't really stand up to too much scrutiny all these years later. there are actually quite a few different styles present here, but somebody else did all of it better somewhere else. U2 did blame your parents better, the ramones did radio luv song better, nirvana did assoholic better, neil young did once a killer better, REM did punk grass better (on monster), sloan did lucy better, pearl jam did beyond the outsider better, soundgarden did don't listen to that better, my bloody valentine did save yourself better, etc. in a sense, the disc works well as a gen y primer to alt. rock, but there's no reason to recommend it ahead of the other, much better records that were released in 1994. on the other hand, if you want to seriously explore 54-40, the better material is all in the 80s.

that being said, the record does have a strong point in it's largely satirical lyrical content, which has some fun with tearing down various aspects of popular culture. this is the actual appeal that the record still has to me, all of these years later. unfortunately, though, the disc is heavily front-loaded. the last four tracks just don't have the bite that the first four do. there's a strong argument that the disc should have been an ep, and it would have been a very good one if it was one.

lastly, please heed this warning: listen to ocean pearl at your own peril, as it WILL get stuck in your head for weeks.

stream:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2Z7U15ut3k&list=PL7epfunGutqmyO2XIffOqjR89K1ADyujv

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/music/artists/54-40/1994-SmilinBuddhaCabaret/index.html

Saturday, September 7, 2013

i'll be starting the process of setting up the studio again tonight. it's going to take a while, but i should be back to posting updates here by the end of the month and should have some actual music to post by the end of the year. a lot of it, actually.

Re: LANDLORD. E-MAIL CHECK .....READ

From: The Initial Landlord
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>

Jessica or Jason,...... out of respect, I do not know yet which name you want me to address you with...... It will be okay to do what you want, I thought I would try with the shelves staked one on top of each other. The spacing is tight but I though you could give it a try. You can use the one that you set up somewhere else. I will take back the other.

1-Speed Bike - Droopy Butt Begone!


Collector's Item

when i first picked this up, it didn't do very much for me. there will be inevitable suggestions of music constructed with electronics being out of the realm of the average luddite gybe! fanatic, but no such thing would apply to me. it was quite the opposite; the disc seemed too repetitive and not complex enough to satisfy my elite tastes in the electronic spectrum.

it has held up surprisingly well, though. well, ok, some of the spoken word seems a little juvenile. if you didn't have "enough" (??) friends, would you be quiet until you did? is your confidence determined by the solidarity you command, rather than the other way around? i may be keenly interested in the free goat cheese that you're offering after the revolution, but this idea that your analysis is only as valid as the number of people that agree with it is sort of totalitarian and frightening. truth by consensus, people; we'll have a vote on the validity of the laws of thermodynamics after supper, and whether or not they're oppressive in denying perpetual motion. i could continue, but to what end?

i somehow missed a lot of the subtlety in the recording. i'm not really quite sure how. i'm sure i would have listened to it through headphones, although my memories mostly involve listening to it on low volume in the middle of the night while living beside a noisy furnace. i think maybe i didn't miss it so much as i ignored it as ambience. for whatever reason, it is coming out at me in much higher quality right now. this is making the record sound better produced than i would have initially said it was, but it isn't adding anything to the songs themselves.

in it's most basic description, this is "drum and bass" with a tempo that is closer to trip-hop than to jungle. you could get away with calling it trip-hop. the record is largely built around cut up drum loops that aidan performed himself. i'm still suspecting that he's using reel-to-reel loops through large portions of it due to the nature of the loops, but the production does seem more electronic now than it did then. at the very least, he seems to be sampling parts that were treated with old fashioned effects work. a lot of the bass and string samples, though, seem to be ultimately coming from his bandmates. you can pick out parts from fly pan am songs, gybe! songs, etc.

in the end, it's just somebody fucking around with samples. that person has a particularly interesting sample source to play with, but that doesn't transcend it from what it is. the 1-speed bike seems to be a reference to the lack of variation in the tempo, which is something that makes the record drag a bit. it does work well as background music - perhaps for reading, or perhaps for eating (it is, after all, dedicated to the dishwasher) - but there isn't anything about the record that makes it worth finding.

...except the label it was released on and the person that produced it; this is an item for collectors.

i wish i would have been in montreal more often back in the day, though, to hear aidan spin in real time.

stream:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz3ncaHBf-k&list=OLAK5uy_kU8J_OldZQA1XOpzwDtIgd1kVaUWbY11o

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/music/artists/1-speedbike/2000-DroopyButtBegone/index.html

Friday, September 6, 2013

Re: LANDLORD. E-MAIL CHECK .....READ

From: Jessica Murray
To: The Initial Landlord

hi...

just an update on the bookshelf. i set up the first one, and...see, if the thing you're interested in is the aesthetic appeal of the shelves, i don't think the bookshelf is a good solution. i think it's also a little less functional than it could be.

there's a picture attached. the other unit is still in the box. a few things,

1) the squareness of the shelf draws attention to the wobbly corner.
2) the units are meant to be stacked, but you can't really do that here because of the baseboards. so, screwing it into the wall (i didn't do that) would tilt the shelf back. if you lift it up, it just looks crooked.
3) otherwise, because the bookshelf is a lot smaller than the corner, it really looks out of place.
4) the nature of a book shelf in that corner itself looks sort of jagged and out of place.

i'll be honest: from an aesthetic perspective, i think the l-brace approach would look better.

that being said, i think if you wanted to go with something like this in that corner then a stackable *corner* shelving unit (rather than a regular shelving unit) would probably look good. they've got some on the boxes of the units you bought. it's the same idea, just a different shape.

HOWEVER...

...what's the difference, really, between that and what i suggested in the first place? sure, you *could* pay $100 to get some shelves to screw together. but i already have the shelves. the end result is almost exactly the same thing, except for that:

1) the wood i'm using doesn't have a lacquer and
2) the structure of the shelving unit decreases the efficiency of the shelves by taking up space.

i asked out of respect, but in all honesty i think what i was going to do would actually end up looking better. i think i plan on being in this unit for quite a long time; i wouldn't take the shelves with me (they're cut for the corner, and in total are worth around $2), and if there's a desire to lacquer them after i've left....well, that's pretty quick. honestly, that would be the only difference!

as for that shelving unit itself......do you want me to take it back apart and put it back in the box? would they accept it back after it's been screwed together?

in the picture, i've put the towel over top of the shelf to indicate how much more useful *and* aesthetic the larger shelf would be in the corner.

also note that i built the wood shelving unit in the picture beside the white one myself for around $7 in total. if it were to be lacquered, it would be identical to the one you bought at the store, no doubt for much more than $7....


updates to the install scripts for the old pc, as it is being repurposed to stream video from youtube (cleanup.cmd)

rmdir /s /q "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Favorites\Links"
rmdir /s /q "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Favorites"
rmdir /s /q "C:\WINDOWS\pss"
rmdir /s /q "C:\WINDOWS\resources"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Local Settings\Application Data\Microsoft\CD Burning"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Local Settings\Application Data\Microsoft\Internet Explorer"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Local Settings\Application Data\Microsoft\Credentials"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\NetHood"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Local Settings\Temp"
mkdir "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Local Settings\Temp"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files"
mkdir "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Windows\PIF"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Windows\System32\config\systemprofile"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Local Settings\History\History.IE5"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Local Settings\History"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Documents and Settings\NetworkService\Local Settings\Temp"
mkdir "C:\Documents and Settings\NetworkService\Local Settings\Temp"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Documents and Settings\NetworkService\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files"
mkdir "C:\Documents and Settings\NetworkService\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files"
del /q C:\WINDOWS\system32\catroot\*.tmp
del /q C:\WINDOWS\system32\catroot2\*.log
del /q C:\WINDOWS\system32\catroot2\*.txt
del /q C:\WINDOWS\system32\catroot2\*.chk
del /q C:\WINDOWS\system32\catroot2\*.edb
del /q c:\windows\*.log
del /q c:\windows\*.bak
del /q c:\windows\{*
del /q C:\windows\cthelp*
del /q C:\windows\system32\*.rfx
del /q "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Cookies\*.*"
rmdir /q /s "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files\Content.IE5"
C:\windows\regedit.exe /s C:\windows\system32\fileextensions.reg
rmdir /q /s "C:\WINDOWS\NLDRV"
rmdir /s /q "E:\script\files\firefox\Firefox\Profiles"
mkdir "E:\script\files\firefox\Firefox\Profiles"
C:\windows\System32\xcopy.exe /y /E "C:\Documents and Settings\%username%\Application Data\Mozilla\Firefox\Profiles" "E:\script\files\firefox\Firefox\Profiles"
copy /y "C:\Documents and Settings\jessica\Application Data\foobar2000\foobar2000.cfg" E:\script\files\foo\foobar2000.cfg
copy /y "C:\Documents and Settings\jessica\Application Data\foobar2000\theme.fth" E:\script\files\foo\theme.fth

screwing in the other l-brackets

cut my finger on the ancient vacuum.

the shelving unit wasn’t really what i was after for the corner.

i asked to screw brackets into the wall, and the landlord gave me this instead

screwing in the l-brackets and putting the fan up

Re: mail

From: grandmother’s email address
To: "Jessica Murray" <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>

Glad to finally hear from you,of course I can understand from your note that you have been really busy.It is great that you are not smoking, keep up the good work.Your place sounds like you have a lot of space,that is a bonus after living in one small bedroom.I am back home now; we spend the weekends at the cottage, so Willy is quite content having the bedroom all to himself.Leo is feeling very well & works full time,I hope he doesn’t take on more than he can handle as he often used to do just that.As for your mail, you are right it is government,bank & carleton U papers.Take care,we miss you but glad to hear you are ok.love nana!

surplus wood cut to scale for the corner

cd damage: nine inch nails - the downward spiral


cd damage: the mars volta - deloused in the comatorium

cd damage: the mars volta - amputechture

cd damage: glenn branca - lesson no 1

cd damage: einsturzende neubauten - perpetuum mobile

cd damage: hater

cd damage: electric light orchestra -

cd damage: cop shoot cop - release

cd damage: gustav holst - the planets / ralph vaughn williams - tallis fantasia

cd damage: the tear garden - to be an angel blind, the crippled soul divide

cd damage: alice in chains

cd damage: alice in chains - nothing safe

cd damage: rem - eponymous

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Re: LANDLORD. E-MAIL CHECK .....READ

From: The Initial Landlord
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>

I did not see the things in the bathroom and I am not bothered by the gender thing. I do want you to be happy with your unit so I will do extra to keep you content with your place. I will bring a studfinder and if what I bought for the unit is not okay with you I will bring it back and you can do what you want. I do prefer to get involved when things are added so that whatever upgrade is requested it will be good for the next person later on.

last transition persies (upload)



i got a little lazy (or was that distracted?) with my monthly persies there for a while...

...but this is the end. three years. no more persies charting the journey...

cleaning out the couch

cd damage: skinny puppy - rabies

last transition persies (set 2)












Re: Payment instructions

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: accounting@teksavvy.com

hi, this is the confirmation number.

****************

Re: LANDLORD. E-MAIL CHECK .....READ

From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: The Initial Landlord

ok, the email works.

i appreciate the attentive landlording, btw. i would have been perfectly content just putting up some l-brackets, i really mostly wanted to check to see if that's something that would bother you. i think it's a good idea for the unit.

i also wanted to put up two shelves in that little storage area beside the window, and again was just wanting to ask if that would bother you and to use the studfinder.

i guess i sort of forgot that this was going to come back as from jessica murray. i just didn't see the value in having a discussion about my gender expression with my landlord. i mean, what's it to you, sort of thing. who cares. that being said, you probably noticed the make-up in the bathroom and other things. my legal name remains jason parent, and that is the name you need to use for legal correspondences. but in non-legal capacities, i generally go by jessica these days and will be eventually changing it.

in the end, i was too left-wing for the occupy activists

jessica amber murray
intersectional politics belong on the right of the political spectrum.

discuss.

coach
You need to elaborate. That sentence doesn't even begin to make sense to me.

jessica amber murray 
do you not see the inherent cultural conservatism underlying the whole thought process?

it's odd, though. let me ask you this: was marx an imperialist?

i asked this before, too: is opposing cultural appropriation as a concept (stripping it away from the other forms of racism that are generally the actual problem when cultural appropriation is claimed) consistent with opposing intellectual property?

hey, i tried to write an essay about this, but nobody wanted to read it, so i'll just throw it out there....

coach 

When I think of "intersectional politics", I think of intersectional analysis; that is, looking at how different power relationships interact and construct each other. This relates to the idea that you can't just see these things as essentializing and erasing categories. So, for example, an intersectional analysis of class looks at class as something which itself (materially and ideologically) is constructed through other categories and sets of experiences - say gender and racialization - than simply whether or not one is a "worker".

jessica amber murray
right. and who constructed these categories in the first place? are they real things, or constructs of oppression? what side of the spectrum traditionally upholds these things and what side traditionally abolishes them?

another question: is it not the case that leftists generally consider many of the identities and traditional cultures themselves to be sources of oppression? so, would a leftist not consider upholding these divisions to be a process of furthering oppression?

it's like the academic left has taken this orwellian turn into becoming what it's supposed to oppose. i'll write this in time. i just got a comment on another thread that once again indicated the problems inherent to judging a book by it's cover, and felt the need to clarify that point.

but please continue on in this discussion.

it can only work itself out as a type of divide and conquer, and it relegates otherwise well meaning activists to a type of useful idiot for capitalism. i want to be clear, though, that, by rejecting intersectional analysis as capitalistic, i'm not falling into that divide and conquer trap. this isn't about some kind of repressed white resentment or converted white guilt or feeling left out of the analysis or something. i'm ultimately (not here) just trying to present an argument as to why the approach should be thrown out the window (it cements the division created by capitalism) and why we should go back to less categorical types of analysis.

it's hard to get to a world where everyone is equal by beginning by splitting everybody up into specific types based on physical characteristics.

it also presents a lot of cognitive dissonance. reason? it over-complicates things, then tries to present contradictions as equally valid. in that sense, the process tends to be largely incoherent. example: you'll end up with leftists that oppose nationalism and hierarchy aligning themselves with indigenous sovereignty movements for the sake of standing up for the most oppressed. if we start with a shared opposition to colonialism, which also exists on the paleo-right, there's a nationalistic option (sovereignty) and an anti-nationalistic option (abolition of all hierarchy, traditional culture, etc). the contradiction consequently comes in supporting sovereignty and opposing nationalism. you can't coherently take both positions. yet, all this over-complication confuses the issue and all of a sudden you've got people arguing one day for the abolition of racism and the next day for archaic tribal rules of inclusion (and consequently exclusion). you might provide this label of "intersectionality" to the process of supporting hierarchy in the name of abolishing hierarchy, but i'm more willing to throw it in the trash as incoherent cognitive dissonance.

pansee
"[...]so, would a leftist not consider upholding these divisions to be a process of furthering oppression?" Wait, how exactly is intersectionality, an examination of the politics of power THROUGH multiple layers of the various dynamics of oppression upholding those divisions? Because...it acknowledges that they exist in other, non-intersectional analyses?

Also, I think the threshold for what you will consider to be an acceptably left-wing idea is set just really unhelpfully far left, so much so that it leaves no room for solidarity. Actually, it's set so far that is kinda seems to only include you?

jessica amber murray 
does it acknowledge they exist outside of the context pushed down? see, this is sort of exactly where i'm pushing back. in the sense that it does, it seems constructed by an external definition rather than an individual one. what it does is put people in boxes and then destroy their individuality by subsuming them underneath the projected identity politics of the box. anti-oppression is then presented as a process of becoming one with that box. which is what? it seems like it's upholding it. i think anti-oppression should be burning that box, and then tracking down the schematics for it and destroying them so that nobody can ever build these boxes or place people in them ever again. as though there is really any basis in sharing oppression based on physical characteristics, other than upholding a sense of conformity pushed down by the hierarchy in the first place. boxes. i'd rather get back to understanding humans as individuals with individual experiences that may or may not be related to their physical characteristics, and then building broad-based movements that throw all the categories out the window as meaningless. "i'm a human being, and the rest is bourgeois bullshit that doesn't fucking matter".

also, i'm not trying to put up a litmus test for being acceptably left-wing, as though there is some objective concept of leftism and the left isn't prone to collapsing into factions. ha! it's just that a lot of what i've seen over the last two years strikes me as lacking a certain perspective. yeah, we live in ubiquitous capitalism, and we all do hyper-capitalist things without realizing it, and etc. i guess i'm just noticing that the analysis seems produced to exist within, rather than opposed to.

LANDLORD. E-MAIL CHECK .....READ

From: The Initial Landlord
To: "'apt 5 Marion'" <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>

I bought some corner shelves..respond back for e-mail check

last transition persies (set)