you know, this might actually work out alright. i managed to talk my way up to a supervisor, and if i send my odsp stub off to vancouver they'll put a hold on it for six months - which should let my refund go through for the year, so that's step one. step two is that i need to get my odsp forms filled out in june so that it's permanent - and i think i can do that. then, i can apply for the loan to actually get wiped. it's the one and only way out, apparently.

otherwise, i need to send them the stub every six months.

i'm going to get the diet form when i fax the stub, anyways....

i'm pretty sincere about permanence. but if things work out some other way, the loan is gone.

i've just been ignoring this for months because it's just like....i can't pay you..but they got me the incentive to deal with it.

wait. there's conditions on the diet forms. gah...

i'm a model of physical health, it's my head that's fucked. gotta be some way around this...

the way people talk about this, it's like anybody can get it.

yeah...no. i'm not going to win this argument. so i'm not going to start it. i'll figure something else out.

i remember reading the review a few years ago, and one of the recs was to just abolish the special diet and give everybody the extra $100. i wonder how convincing that report might be if i showed it to a doctor. it's just....i don't see how an empathetic doctor could fill the thing out....

actually, i've had some dysphagia recently. i've been wanting to have this dealt with, anyways. i think i should probably do that tomorrow. if it gets me a useful diagnosis, great. i'd kind of like to get to the bottom of it, anyways.