i have to point this out every now again...

i'm not even sure which sex i like better. well, i'm 35. nearly 36.  shouldn't i have that figured out? so, perhaps what that indicates is that i really don't like either.

there was a time where i reasoned that women were lesser douchebags, but i no longer think that that is true - women are just as douchey as men. that language is difficult, but i don't think it's confusing. but, i've discarded this thinking that women are emotionally superior, or something. we all have layers of hierarchy to disentangle. but, that means that i've discarded both sex and gender, preferentially. it's down entirely to individuality.

...and i hate everybody, as individuals. as people. as collections of character traits. almost everybody is a horrific asshole.

i don't even pretend to try.

yet, is it the case that i'm disinterested in others or the case that i'm obsessed with myself? there's a synthesis, no doubt.

if you cross out sex and gender as irrelevant altogether, and ignore that nobody agrees with this, what i've learned is that the biggest obstacle to a purely emotional relationship is that people want children. they say they don't, but they actually do.

therefore, i've concluded that i'm simply too young for a relationship.

there is some possibility that i may end up dating when i'm older, but my tinder profile will specify that i'm only interested in people that have adult children and that have minimal relationships with those adult children. that is my true sexual orientation: i'm only attracted to people that have a 0% interest in wanting to raise kids.

for now, file me under hyper-individualist asexual loner.