i know that people would kill to have the opportunities i've had, but it's not like i ever lied to anybody about it.

if you would have asked me at 17, i would have told you i'm never going to want to work full-time in an office, i'm never going to care about owning property, i'm never going to want a car, i'm never going to want a family - i'd rather work part-time as a dishwasher, and get more free time to work on art, or writing, or whatever my mind is interested in.

and, i heard the same stupid refrain, from everybody around me.

"but, you're young, you'll grow out of it."
"pretty sure i won't."
"you're throwing away opportunity, throwing away options."
"well, if somebody doesn't want something, and they throw that thing away, that means they're throwing away something that isn't of any value to them."

and, i'd get disappointed reactions, but what was the point of pretending otherwise? i'm not going to live somebody else's life, i'm going to live my own. and, it's up to others to move on if they don't like my choices.

but, i kept getting bribed - and i was given good offers, so i took them. and, i ended up with 13 years of schooling that i had almost no interest in.

now, here i am a few weeks shy of 38 and i'm still completely disinterested in working in an office, i still don't want to own property, i still don't want a car, and i still don't want a family; i'd still rather work part time as a dish-washer, and i'm not particularly interested in the opinions of any creditors that i never had any intention of gaining in the first place.

"but, it will hurt your credit rating."

yeah. pity. whatever.

i know - more disappointed looks. but, the root cause of the problem here is not my behaviour - i broadcast myself as clearly as a person can.

people made a choice not to listen, to project their own desires on to me rather than understand what mine were, and react.

if it comes down to it, i'm not going to end up in an office job - i'm going to end up washing dishes part-time.