i'll write the letter for him.

mr assad,

as you know, the french have been occupying syria intermittently since 1099, with varying levels of competency and barbarity. you will recall that syria was a part of the roman empire, having passed into it as a part of the conquests and cessions of the former hellenic kingdoms. while we are well aware that we are not actually romans, we do speak a perverted form of latin, and we have long felt that is close enough to claim the legacy of the roman occupation. we thus feel entitled to this land.

yet, as it is no longer 1099, and international law has changed quite a bit since then, we do understand the necessity to request your permission to continue to occupy your country. we hope that you acknowledge our supremacy immediately.

thank you,
emmanuel macron