i have every reason to believe, still, that what sarah legitimately wanted was an open relationship with me. she wanted to go out and do whatever she wanted and then she wanted the person that was at home waiting for her to very specifically be me.

but, i mean...

is that fair?

i didn't want to walk out on her.

and, she didn't want me to walk out.

but, she refused to budge on it. and, i just couldn't deal with it.

again: i worried she might get pregnant, or aids or something. and, she did get pregnant....and insisted on having it...

i didn't really want to, but i had to get out.

and, i know i made the right choice, even if i still wish she'd return my calls, and it still tears me up that she won't.