i admit i haven't applied for a job since i moved here, but what's the point? i don't want one.

i'd be taking hours away from somebody else that needs them.

i'd show up angry, wishing i was somewhere else. i'd yell at the staff, get into arguments with management, and ultimately get fired.

i know this because it's what has happened over and over again.

and, if i can somehow force myself to behave, i'll do a shitty job.

forcing people to do things they don't want to doesn't benefit anybody.