so, i had some kind of event down here this morning. i guess there's two possibilities and they reduce to the same thing: either i was affected by the bleach i used when i put the machine through a clean cycle (i'm done laundry. finally.) or this kind of dusty, chemically smell that gets worst in the early morning had some kind of effect on me.

i felt fucked up on something, and i really didn't enjoy it.

the consequence is that i had to sleep off what i wanted to be a productive day, and i was hoping that i was at the end of that.

i don't know what the smell is; i don't recognize it. i think it might be coming from inside the walls in the unit, but the fact that it comes up and down suggests it has a local source. if it was remnant smoke on my furniture it would be constant. and, if it was coming from next door, you'd think it would be worse during peak hours, rather than early in the morning. so, i'm left to conclude that the kid upstairs is smoking late at night. up until last night, it seemed like she was mostly smoking cigarettes, and maybe some pot, but last night was a rough experience.

generally, it gives me a sore throat and makes me cough. last night, i had a kind of racing high that i'd associate with a stimulant - and then i crashed very hard, which is what happens.

i moved here explicitly to get away from this.

again: i don't have much direct evidence, so i don't want to jump to conclusions. there could be some factors outside that make the pollution worse at a specific time of day, or it could be a consequence of a dirty heating system that switches on at the same time or something. i'm still in fact-finding mode. i'm still trying to figure it out.

but, i don't want what happened last night to ever happen again.

and, i'm dreading going through this again, after i tried so hard to make sure i wouldn't...

i'm going to have to do what i'm going to have to do, but let's hope i don't have to do it.

i think the dad should be home upstairs soon, and we'll see what he says when he comes in. i'm kind of hoping he comes down here and questions me, as that's probably the best way to approach it.

i'm still groggy, but hopefully it wears off soon.