i tried to turn off the fan again last night and then took a nap, and i when i woke up the headache was coming back in. i caught it before it "turned over", so i'm kind of sitting on the brink - i'm either going back into a migraine, or it's going to pass.

and, again, i could smell it. it's cigarette smoke, specifically. so, i've got the fan back on....

i left off on may 10th, meaning i lost ten days. and, i did feel better, but now i feel like shit again - and, specifically, i'm completely unable to focus on anything.

everything else aside, that's the thing that is making this so frustrating to me: once my head starts racing, i get scatterbrained and useless and i can't focus on anything.

i need complete sobriety in order to be productive. maybe you're different, but that's me - any drug at all makes me useless.

let's hope the fan clears the shit out of here and i can refocus in short order. if not, i'm just going to get slowed down that much further.