while i do acknowledge at this point that i've been out of work for so long (i haven't had a full time job since 2008) that i would likely be unable to find meaningful employment should i try (and i haven't tried since 2011, after spending 2008-2010 and 2012-2013 in school), and i likewise acknowledge that i have had no choice but to work in the past and done so out of threat of homelessness and starvation, i think i've been as clear as a human can be that i don't actually want a job at all.

i have presented lengthy, detailed arguments around this point, presenting labour in a capitalist society as a waste of time and life wasted on employment as a sad, pathetic, wasted life. the individual's task in a society such as ours is not to find employment or work it's way up the ladder to the top, but rather to avoid labour as much as possible. true freedom means abolishing capitalism, but the only way to approximate freedom within a system of capitalism is to escape the market as much as is possible.

stated tersely, there is absolutely nothing that employment can offer me that is worthwhile, no task that is fit for a free human being. all employment reduces to some kind of market relation, which is by definition reducible to slavery. my aspirations are strictly and purely in the realm of free expression: music, literature, politics and etc. all that any sort of employment could ever do is interfere with my real aspirations, thereby slowing me down and wasting my time. there is consequently no end point for me in employment other than misery, and most likely suicide.

i know that the world is full of people that would love a six figure salary, a 9-5 job and a loving family. i doubt i'd last more than a few months without losing my mind, and i am certain that i would choose death over slavery to possessions and status if it were to come down to it. if i woke up tomorrow with a high-paying job, a paid for house and a loving partner, i would instantly start planning a way to get a divorce, sell the house and live off of the investments. i could probably live for free for three years just by selling the car, right?

the evidence that i actually believe what i've been saying over and over again for years is in truth pretty overwhelming, if you ask anybody that's ever known me or seen me behave - the jobs i've quit or turned down, the life decisions i've made, the arguments and comments i've articulated and etc really going back to the time i was 15. the point i'm getting at with this post is that any attempt to suggest differently is just being dishonest. you don't have a clever diagnosis from a distance, and your pop psychology is bullshit pseudoscience. your argument is not intelligent; it's invalid. i mean what i say - and you're dishonest if you insist otherwise. and, this is going to be my approach if you push it - i'm going to wag my finger at you widely and thoroughly, and make sure that everybody knows that you're a worthless, piece of shit liar, regardless of how much stolen wealth you've accumulated, or how much time you wasted doing so.

we can have a discussion about the merits of capitalism, if you'd like. i like doing that, i think that's obvious. but, you need to take me at face value when i argue that the biggest problem with capitalism is how boring the quality of life is, and how meaningless existence is as a result of it. i mean, i didn't make this stuff up, you know - i can cite some smart people if you really want, from the ancient story of sisyphus to camus and all the anarchists in between. and, you can save your psychoanalytical pseudo-scientific bullshit for your victims. don't you waste your time on me....