what i learned a long time ago is that friendship is one of the many contradictions that are irresolvable within capitalism, and this is really just a question of maturity and life experience in getting your head around. i could even go so far as to define an adult as the following...

adult: a person that has experienced betrayal.

it's not a question of doing things differently, of changing yourself or of surrounding yourself with more pure people. it's a socio-cultural reality of the economic system we live in: friendship under capitalism is a joke, and you're a buffoon to suggest otherwise.

now, i don't want to be cynical about this, though. pointing out that we can't have friendship and capitalism at the same time isn't to doom friendship as a concept, so much as it is to present a pre-condition for it's realization. i mean, it's easy enough to see the truth of it: i'm too gentle for this, too lost in a set of discredited ideals. so, i'd be happy to be your friend, if i wasn't convinced you were trying to kill me.

as it is, i keep to myself because i know i'm too fragile, too vulnerable to exist.

i'm friendly. everybody knows that. but, i'll never trust you, and i'd ask that you respect that in not expecting me to.