so, to be clear.

i'm not buying another package of rolling tobacco. i'm not going to throw it away, i will get a little more pot to smoke through it, but that will be the end of that. i was hoping i could just leave it in the cupboard and hit it once in a while, but that idea isn't working out. i need to keep the tobacco out of the house....

that 26er of vodka is still untouched from march, though. it's weird. i'd have to have a deep conversation with my subconscious to kind of get my head around it entirely, but i feel like it's actually the tobacco that is driving me here, not the pot. see, and the trick is that of these three things, it's only tobacco that gets you physically hooked. it is the most damaging and the most dangerous of the three.

so, i think i'm at the point where i'm getting the urge to smoke more pot as an excuse to smoke more cigarettes. if that's the end result of leaving pot in the house, i can't leave pot sitting in the house. so, we're going to smoke through it...

but, i might react to a chocolate bar the same way i react to the 26er, because i can't put tobacco in it and smoke it. you see? so, i'm going to try that, instead.

but, the reality just right now is that i've been smoking a lot of tobacco with the pot, that i am actually feeling it and that i'm going to have to spend a week or two flushing it out. again. that is what i need to kind of clue into, and react to and actually come to terms with and move past.