there's two reasons i intended to avoid a vaginoplasty. the first is that i wanted to live a life as a female and go out and have fun, not spend my life in therapy. i have no respect whatsoever for psychiatry; i think it's abject pseudoscience, total quackery. i consider therapy to be a stupid waste of time. yet, it's required to get surgery, and in fact a large amount of it is required, and it's quite deep. i am not looking forward to it. the second is that i'm generally risk averse. this is a substantive surgery and something might go wrong. i don't need it the way a person needs surgery to remove a tumour, for example.
i thought that just cutting my balls off would have the effect i wanted.
i think that the reason it hasn't worked is that i'm being drugged, but i'm nonetheless exasperated. i can't get people to leave me alone and i'm fed up. i need to just chop it off and be done with it and tell the retards to go bother somebody else.