in the previous post, i included the following:
--
i can put together a plan.
- i need to detox the poisonous testosterone from my system, first. this substance is shit. people that take this voluntarily are retards. i don't want it in my system. i'd remove my kidneys and inject myself with red blood cells instead if i could. it's a complete garbage hormone with complete garbage effects.
- once that's done, i can take a blood test that will demonstrate what my blood chemistry looks like normally, in the absence of this bullshit i'm being drugged with.
- then i can buy a bottle of hot sauce at the store and make meals with it, locking myself inside until it's done.
- i can take another blood test after that
--
it is 19:00 on aug 11th. i had my blood tested at 8:00 am on aug 2nd after experiencing severe symptoms of being drugged with some kind of male hormone enhancement on july 31st that raised my testosterone levels to four times their normal levels on aug 2nd and also spiked my red blood cells and hemoglobin to higher than normal results without the lingering creatine or ketone markers i saw during the previous test on july 7th. i removed three items from my diet as a result of this - hot sauce (bought in bulk), frozen chicken (donated from the food bank) and raw bison (also a food bank donation). i have since been scrubbing and scraping myself down and am nearing a point of presentability that will allow me to do some errands in the morning, including getting this package of documents to the police and getting a third blood test that i expect to have clean and normal results, of trace testosterone levels.
on some level, 10-14 days, less than two weeks, is not that bad. it should even continue to get better for the rest of the month, at least. if i have isolated and eliminated the source of the drugs, i can hopefully move on and get on with my life, subject to what i expect to be imminent arrests of my stalkers. while it is clearly necessary for me to move on with my life, i hope the process of bringing these horrible criminals and frankly disgusting people to justice is not too lengthy.
on another level, needing to spend a third or more of any given month locked in the bathroom scrubbing myself down because some backwards idiots want me to adhere to the iron age rules of their dark age religion is extremely depressing. there is no remote justification for this overwhelmingly oppressive infringement on my right to bodily autonomy and security of the person, which i've had to deal with on a roughly monthly basis for most of the last two years.
they have told me that they want me to grow hair on my face because that is the iron age rule that they enforce in their dark age religion. they enforce their rules by violence, coercion and extreme force. dissent is not permitted. my opinion is of no importance to them, and their religion states that i have no rights and no right to disagree. you follow their iron age rules, or they kill you; that's how their religion works. there is no concept of democracy in their religion or their culture. they have also repeatedly told me that i'm "supposed to" look like my father, who i had a very poor relationship with during the last several years of his life and did not get along with well. they have stated that outcome as a motive for their harassment. there was an event near the end of his life in which he unexpectedly viciously attacked me, which put me into a state of severe ptsd that has disturbed me to the point that it has left me permanently disabled. it is this unexpected attack physical and emotional attack that is the reason i was placed on odsp and live on odsp to this day. i have largely avoided dealing with the issue out of disinterest (he's dead, so it doesn't matter. the dead are irrelevant.), but i consider my father to have been an oppressive, negative influence on my life. when i have dealt with it, it's been to reflect on ways that he was a negative influence that i hadn't thought about before, and to further recognize just how negative an influence he was. i do not want to look in the mirror and have him looking back at me and the idea of that happening severely disturbs me quite greatly. thankfully, it's not a serious consideration, as i'm a pretty girl and he was quite certainly not.
i have a picture archive that i haven't been updating recently but do have pictures to update with and will begin updating again when this is over:
https://photos.google.com/share/AF1QipMyiW_D1-wROy3WO8uOmH2DuojQMoI_SceIhrADAuwzIWeiX0-681LaOnlz1Qgauw?key=TldKOXhRd0RNMzcwMElsVkZqVTJwcnpMUFJsZXZ3
i do not look like my father. i never have. i never will.
i have a perception that my appearance may become a legal consideration, and that might be part of the purpose of what they're doing. as stated previously, i am concerned that this is about identity theft. i realize that my harassers are attacking me because i'm transgendered, and the police are letting them do it, or even colluding with them, because they are transphobic. i am concerned that i'm being set up. i am serving you with this for that reason.
the shifts in the picture archive also demonstrate that i have been drugged since 2023. you can see this truth. i cut it off bout a year ago. the last year of pictures, when they come up, will further demonstrate that i've been drugged, but i'm avoiding posting them until they present a resolution, in the form of undoing the harassment i've suffered.
however, it is not really the case that i am scraping hair off of my face on a monthly basis over the last two years. as can be seen from those pictures, i do not have issues with facial hair. i do not need to cover my face over with makeup, as i do not grow hair on my face in the first place. instead, i feel the need to describe what is actually happening, what i'm actually scraping off and why that is the case. this is intended for legal purposes, when it comes up. i'm getting ahead of myself.
to be clear: i know that my harassers are drugging me with the purpose and intent of forcing me to grow hair because they've told me they are. however, it doesn't work in the way they want it to; it has frustrating effects, which i will describe, but it's not facial hair. they keep doing it anyways.
there are several reasons why i'm not able to grow facial hair, which i will list:
- i had low testosterone levels as an adolescent and young adult, which was discovered when i started taking hormones in 2002, after testing in 2001. i was born in jan, 1981, so i was 20/21 at the time.
- i did not go through a complete puberty, but a kind of partial puberty
- i had some facial electrolysis done in the summer of 2002
- i have been taking testosterone suppressors of some sort non-stop (including a period where i was taking saw palmetto) since 2002, when i was 21. i have been suppressing my already low testosterone levels my entire adult life.
- i had an orchiectomy to remove my testicles in 2021, meaning i'm now unable to generate my own testosterone. i have continued to take suppressors anyways.
- i have consistently tested with testosterone at or below 0.4 going back to before the orchiectomy. it is so low that the tests generally can't even pick it up.
- i have never grown any hair whatsoever on other parts of my body, like my chest.
- i only grow hair in my armpits or my stomach when i've been drugged, and can use that as markers to know when i've been drugged. when i haven't been drugged, i grow no hair at all in those parts of my body.
the picture evidence going back to 1989 (when i was a little kid) is pretty strong evidence. i do not grow facial hair, i have never have grown facial hair and i'm never going to grow facial hair, no matter how much they insist on it or how often they drug me. it will never happen. my father, conversely, was an extremely hairy man, by any standards.
rather, what i'm scraping off of my face is scabbed over clogged pores that, if left on it's own, may develop into something that looks like a shadow but that will never grow into any kind of actual beard or noticeable hair, it will just clog up until it turns into acne. i rarely allow that acne to develop, as i put a myriad of products on my face when i realize i've been drugged, but if i let it sit it would turn into a collection of blemishes that include ingrowns that look like white heads (red bumps full of pus that you have to pop out) and blackheads (dark stubble that you pop out with your finger or pull out with twezers), clogged pores that expel something that looks like coffee grinds but is actually my body trying to make hair as a result of being drugged and failing to for the previous reasons, white vellus hairs in dead follicles that pop out of clogged pores and that hurt to pluck out, and large amounts of scabbed over dry skin with eyelash sized ingrowns that look like wrinkles from a distance and just wash off like eyelash hairs with enough soap. it's a gross mess, but it's not any sort of beard, and it's not what they're trying to get. they've been doing this for years and this is the best they can get. the result is that the hormones are actually giving me brutal acne and wrinkly dead skin, and it's this brutal acne and wrinkly skin that i have to scrub and scrape off, although it's really not acne or wrinkly skin at all but ingrown hair. this is similar to the kind of acne you might see in a teenage boy on the brink of puberty, but it never develops into more than that and it's never going to. rather, the acne washes off when the testosterone is removed from my system by my kidneys and it stays off until they drug me again. that is the extent of what their therapy has managed to accomplish and will ever manage to accomplish.
it takes some time to clean the acne off, but it washes off and then it's gone. this is frustrating and gross and shouldn't be happening.
i am also feeling better regarding the issue of waking up agitated after adjusting my diet and need to update that as well. over the last week, i have repeatedly woken up hearing the stalkers speaking to me, but it has not had any substantive effect of any sort since i altered my diet and shocked my system, indicating they have not yet succeeded in re-drugging me.
- aug 7th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn (for 6th).
- aug 8th: monterrey jack tuna salad melt with bowl of cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (for 7th).
- aug 9th: pasta with minor subs (17), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (for 8th)
- aug 10th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn wth cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (for 9th).
- aug 11th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (for 10th)
i use the same basic ingredients for most meals, but need to include my tuna sandwich and instant rice recipes:
tuna melt
- in a microwavable bowl, open a can of tuna
- this tuna is bpa free. i didn't make that choice. it's also dated to august, 2024.
- i will occasionally buy tuna or fish, but i'm extremely skittish about the mercury. i'd rather eat freshwater fish from an indoor farm. fish are unusually stupid creatures. that doesn't mean it's ok to torture them, but i wouldn't be concerned about their quality of life. cows are comparably brilliant and will appreciate an open plain. i don't think fish give a fuck, although it's very hard to force them to breed in captivity. i wouldn't be overly concerned about depressed trout, unless it's kilgore or a masked replica.
- put some hot sauce in there
- add some cumin, some black pepper, some oregano, some paprika, some hemp seeds and some nutritional yeast.
- add some fresh garlic and some fresh dill
- add an avocado and a mini bell or hot pepper (i used orange)
- add some ceasar dressing
- mix it up good
- you'll need three pieces of bread.
- don't be stupid. use whole wheat or whole grain bread.
- put the tuna salad mix on the bread
- put four or five slices of monterey jack on the tuna on each piece of bread. i actually used jalapeno monterrey jack.
- put in microwave for 90 seconds
cilantro lime monterrey jack rice
- i forgot i had instant rice. i was going to eat it with the guac. again, i'd never buy this.
- it's earthly grains 90 second cilantro lime rice.
- you microwave it for 90 second and let it sit. i did.
- put the rice in a bowl
- add five slices of monterrey jack
- microwave for 30 seconds, if necessary
- add hemp seeds, nutritional yeast, ceasar
- stir
now that this is up to date, i will intend to print it all of at the library in the morning and bring it to the police station when i am done. i will also be getting the third test done shortly, and that will be update 6, which i will bring to police separately.
i expect the police to make these arrests shortly, or for a judge to order them to indict. the law - our law, secular law - needs to be enforced. i have been stalked, drugged, harassed and raped in an attempt to forcibly convert me against my will and i need my stalkers and harassers sent to jail.