i still don't know what's going on, exactly, and, at this point, i guess i'll have to accept that i never will.

but, the fact is that we got along well for over five years after we split up. we'd go for lunch periodically - often around her birthday. i remember when i took her to mexis when she got pregnant the first time, and convinced her to start eating meat - a year after we broke up. i remember going for a walk with her near dow's lake around the tulip festival, three years after we broke up.

she invited me for dinner in her apartment four years after we broke up, and asked me to bring flour. i brought flowers. get it?

it was around this time that i rejected a threesome with her. she got a little weird after that...

but, she didn't really get distant until i told her i was back on hormones, about 2010ish - 6 years after we broke up.

and, as far as i can tell, what's actually going on is that she's mad at me for being queer.

a year after the fact, two years after the fact, three years after the fact, i thought she'd get over it. at this point, it doesn't seem like she is going to get over it...