i don't actually know what happened this morning. i know it was very weird.

i guess it was about 9:00 or so that i closed my eyes for a few minutes. i wanted a very short nap. and, it was about 12:00 or so, almost sharp, that i was stirred by what felt like somebody dousing cold water on me, although it didn't wake me up at first. it took a few minutes for me to come to, and i looked down and noticed a kind of wet spot in my bed.

"what the fuck?" is what i said, verbatim, and i think that's a reasonable reaction. then, i did what any adult would do - i got up, urinated and got some toilet paper to soak it up.

if somebody were to ask me when the last time i wet the bed was, i wouldn't have a clear memory of it. there have been a few wet farts that i ended up regretting not getting up for, but urine in the bed is something i'd have to go so far back for that i don't actually recall it. and, if i was a bed wetter, i've forgotten it altogether - my honest recollection is that i wasn't, but that's kind of like proving a negative, and i know that's not how our memories work.

if this was actually urine, i'd be leaning towards it being some evidence of a developing case of multiple sclerosis, which is consistent with the weird migraines and extreme tiredness.

but, whatever this was didn't actually smell like urine. it didn't actually smell like anything at all. if i had just urinated in my bed, however minimally, one would have expected an odour, as the urine that i just ejected into the toilet was dark yellow and stinky from drinking high potency coffee all night. to be clear: i immediately got up and pissed and that piss stank. badly. why didn't this piss smell like anything at all, if that's what it was? weirder is that, while parts of my leg were wet, the general diffusion pattern didn't fit the premise that it had spread from my urethra. the wrong parts of my body were wet for that to have been what actually happened. whatever it was, it seemed to have come from elsewhere...

further, this odorless liquid, whatever it was, dried almost immediately - it was pretty much evaporated in the amount of time it took for me to take a leak and get back with a wad. and, it seems to have left no visible stain. it just vanished without a trace.

i've pointed out in this space on numerous occasions that, while i can orgasm if i try hard enough, i cannot ejaculate in any substantive way. that's not what this was, clearly - this was a clear, odourless liquid that evaporated within minutes without any sort of residue. but, it couldn't have been that, because i can't actually produce it.

so, if it wasn't urine and it wasn't semen, what else can your body discharge when you're sleeping? 

and, was it actually me that discharged it at all? what else could it have been? an animal? a human? i don't know...

i know that my machine shut down shortly afterwards, and shouldn't have. i locked the machine before i nodded off, at least. i'm going to withhold hypotheses on this, for just right now. 

rather, i decided that i need to get this typing done with rather than spend more time fucking around with the laptop and spent the afternoon parsing files on the desktop, instead.

this was productive, at least; the remaining six files are ready to convert and upload, so we'll see how the microsoft cloud works this out. if it works, that will be done within an hour or two.

i otherwise have no idea how to react to what happened this morning other than to forget about it and move on.

hopefully, i'll have some links to post very shortly.