and, this is what i've been saying for years and that i've tried to escape from - and sometimes succeeded in it.

capitalism is just a waste of fucking time.

every second you spend in capitalism is wasted doing some stupid triviality to balance a spreadsheet. even when you're trying to get out of it, it is impossible to enjoy your life - you're working, or you're avoiding working, you're trying to sell something, or you're trying to buy something, or you're trying to rent something, you're just constantly lost in these pointless market mechanisms that gain you nothing substantive at all - you're just doing the same stupid thing either way, which is throwing away any concept of creativity or meaning in the finite amount of time you have before you start decomposing...

there's no way to make capitalism meaningful.

there is no task within it that is worthwhile.

it is millions of people wasting their lives away doing nothing of any meaning or importance, because they can't find anything better to do, anyways.

and, if i have to fucking die like a dog on the street to avoid wasting what time i have left, then so be it.

all i can muster up is a general fuck you for being oppressive.

i would rather be dead than employed.

and, i'll prove it if you force me to.