there's another anniversary coming up for me.

it's been three years since i quit smoking.

it's been harder than i expected, because the society hasn't allowed me to really live smoke-free. i've moved twice, and i'm not sill not sure that i've found an acceptable living situation. do i want to spend the rest of my life trying to avoid second-hand smoke? is it even worth it?

what i can say about that is that you get to a point where you just don't want to be around it any more. at first, it's a process of self-control; eventually, you become utterly revolted by it. as difficult as quitting has been, relapsing is simply not an appealing option to me. i can't even sit in the same room as a smoker, any more. i'm just utterly disgusted by it.

as mentioned: the caulking made a large difference, and i still don't know if second-hand smoke from upstairs or outside is a partial cause of the lingering congestion i'm experiencing. i should make some progress on better understanding that this upcoming week. but, a big motive in the litigation i'm launching is in trying to generate enough income to move into a non-smoking building.

it's weird. i've spent the vast majority of my life very poor, and this is really the first push factor i've ever had to get out of poverty. i don't care about sex or status or wealth and never did, but i just can't handle living in close proximity to heavy smokers any more.