now, somebody has left a bagel in my box, which i'm interpreting as anti-semitic, and which is weird because i'm neither a genetic hebrew nor a practicing jew. i have less than 3% jewish dna, according to the ancestry.com report, and it's from way back in the 19th century.

the arabs that have been stalking me, and who appear to have initially thought i was an arab, have repeatedly called me a jew and repeatedly expressed frustration that i'm not reacting as expected because i'm a jew, rather than the arab they thought i was.

in fact, my ancestry is overwhelming viking in origin, both directly (swedish/finnish) and indirectly (scottish, irish, norman, russian, gothic). the 3% jewish dna was from philadelphia, which i have deduced is sephardic, and traveled from philly to n'awleans to frisco to vancouver, and then to ottawa, where i was born. my father's side had some north italian that was gothic/germanic in origin. the test did pick up 1% sicilian, which was probably mostly greek in deep origin. the 1% sicilian is the closest thing to any sort of arab ancestry, but it's probably not really there.

the semitic dna is unambiguously on my mom's side, and the ancestor was certainly jewish, as he got in trouble in jewish court for being mean to his wife. it's not up for interpretation or debate; it's jewish, not arab, and it's on my mom's side, not my dad's side. i don't know what the point of a court intervening in a domestic dispute is when your wife is jewish, but the documents exist, and it demonstrates the point pretty clearly, as do the noses on my mother and aunts, which are all quite substantive.