it's just...

there are some people that transition later in life after having normal heterosexual relationships in their birth gender, perhaps including having children. they can say they lived a life in their birth gender, had all of the normal experiences in their youth and young adulthood and then switched. i'm not one of those people. i'm somebody that should have transitioned as a child and lived my youth as a girl; i was wholly incapable of being a boy, from the start.

i did have one relationship in my early 20s (i did not date in high school, or even pretend-date in elementary school - my first kiss was at the age of 21, and she had to ask me), but it was not a normal relationship, and my experiences within it were not heterosexual in any meaningful way. this person knew i was transgendered the day we met, and the relationship existed entirely within that context. i was never interested in being this person's boyfriend, but focused from the start to the end on having her accept me as female.

so, i don't have the experiences associated with being a young male throughout high school, my 20s or my 30s. i made no attempt to pursue girls at any time throughout high school at all, whatsoever; rather, i went to some lengths to successfully avoid the interest of a few. i wasn't just not attracted to women at this age, i was actively disinterested. i have never asked a girl out on a date before; indeed, i've never actually been on a date before. it's just not a world i have the slightest interest in or the slightest understanding of. i've never approached a woman at a bar, or had a one-night stand, or made an indecent proposal or anything of the sort. so, i don't have those experiences and don't understand the world from that perspective.

i'm really without a sexual nature of any sort.

and, i'm sorry if you find that disappointing, but i've been trying to get the point across for years, and can only hope it's clear enough by now.