the fact is that i'm pretty exhausted, even now. i'll be fine in a few hours, but i probably made the right choice. i may have started getting messy if i tried to push it much longer.

to be clear: the choice i had on sunday afternoon at 13:30, after staub, was to wait around until the next raft of parties started, which was really not until 22:00, although i would have snuck the shoegaze show in in the evening as i was waiting. if i had biked down to the diner for 14:00, and finished eating at 15:00 or 16:00, i would have almost certainly passed out as i was waiting for the shoegaze show to start, at 18:00. i would have had to have kept myself occupied in order to avoid passing out.

this is why i was hoping staub would run until at least 16:00. that way, i could dance away the afternoon, eat and hit the rock concert. alas...

on the way home, i was toying with the idea of eating at home and going back but i didn't even get that far; i crashed within seconds of getting in the house. i was legitimately exhausted. and, while i could have maybe slept from 14:00-20:00 and made it back out for 00:00, i didn't really seriously contemplate it.

so, i would have needed a short, free party to crash for the afternoon, to patch in, from around 15:00-18:00. but i'm double checking the after-parties schedule and sunday afternoon looks like it was actually a dead point. there were early morning shows that ended at noon, over-priced brunches, and some over-priced day parties. but, the only thing really happening was the festival, itself.

so, i can see what would have happened - i would have ended up trying to hang out at mocad or something and falling asleep at the table. then, i would have struggled through the shoegaze show and gone home, anyways.

but, i'm still relatively new to this, and they do the same shows every year, more or less. i can revisit this next time.

if i had skipped staub and left early, i could have been back for the freaklimate show, meaning i would have been looking at starting late on sunday night, then looking for an early morning party on monday, before going to day parties on monday, the monday night party and then probably not the early morning tuesday party. while the prospect of wasting five hours early on monday morning is probably easier than the prospect of wasting three hours later on sunday afternoon, it's still the same problem - and i'd no doubt be exhausted by the monday night show.

no. i like the idea of having the rock show on sunday night, but i'm also not exactly a big fan of either of those bands. i rather want to hope that somebody books something solid up against movement on the sunday, next year, and i'm able to find the logic for the extra push. i think i planned the right path, it just didn't work out.

it's also cold in detroit right now, and i knew that was going to be the case, and i think it had an effect on my thought process. if it was sunny and hot, rather than cold and rainy, i might have decided i can weather it out with a coffee in the park. but, you get that chill in your bones and start craving a blanket.

i know i can't win this mental battle; i might feel a little regret for coming home "early", but i suspect i'd have regretted going, too, as i'm not able to get up to the monday night show. i would have probably needed to sleep all day today, and not likely to get out again until tuesday. the question is whether i ought to be at the sunday show or the monday show, i guess. so, it really is a choice between one or the other, isn't it?

so, this year, i think i did what made the most sense. but, i'm hoping to pull this off that little bit better next year, to get at least one absurdly long day in....

i hope the weather co-operates, too. people are no doubt frustrated by the cold, right now.