this is not intended to be a new site, it's just intended to be a placeholder to ensure that people searching for me can actually find me.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHuac0RATJVAIQyXz0rxG6Q

fwiw, if you search on youtube, my site comes up first, and there's some various videos at my blog site explaining the process i went through to dismantle the site:

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=deathtokoalas

that said, i'm going to set up a placeholder just so people aren't confused and don't think the other site is me. i mean, it should be obvious that it isn't me. those are things i wouldn't like. that's not a picture of me. i don't kiss people, gross. etc. but not everybody that is looking for me is going to have read everything i've written...

again: i don't know what the purpose of this is.

but, i feel i have little choice.

i ate too much....

too much is 40 blueberries, 10 strawberries, 2 kiwis, 2 bananas, 2 scoops of ice cream, 2 glasses of soy milk, most of a litre of apple juice, and most of a plate of breakfast that consisted of 4 eggs on 2 slices of toasted pumpernickel, 8 slices of marble cheese and four slices of genoa salami, that i buy in bulk like a christmas ham.

i hadn't had a meal since friday morning, and this one was actually by accident - i wasn't supposed to eat again until tuesday night. now, it's put off until thursday night...

i'll have some fruit, daily, in between.

i can report that the machine's back up, but it'll be a while before i'm back online.

i went to upload some pdfs to noise trade and realized that i forgot to take screen shots on the windows 7 box. i don't know how to do that on the chromebook, or if i even can. that's fine, i'll do it in a bit and upload from here when it's done.

for right now, i want to keep the other machine up so i'm going to avoid connecting with it for a bit. yeah. well, this is what they get - they've got me logged into a guest account on a chromebook. try tracing or corrupting that.

first, i want to understand what this form 68 is all about; it's time to do that, now. i can do that from here. then, i'll make sure i get the noise trade stuff uploaded, and might upload the bandcamp stuff, too. then i can get to the deferral, which i'm going to want to email to the human rights tribunal by the end of the day tomorrow...

i can always email that from here, btw.

and, i now have email forwarding, as well.

so, i'd rather send from my dtk account. but, knocking out my windows 7 laptop won't stop me from being able to send email. that's how i'm posting to this blog, actually...

you do see these outliers once in a while with sanders leading, and it's what the media is picking up on, probably because the narrative of biden running flat for two years is kind of boring and it needs click bait....

but, even in these polls, it's never that sanders is rising. i mean, he might be up a point or two, in a survey with a 5% margin of error, or something. but, the reason he ends up on top in these polls is that biden's support ends up scattered. these polls don't just have sanders on top with 25%, and biden sinking into the teens. these are also the polls with klobuchar sitting at 9%, and yang or steyer at 7% or 8%.

what if these polls are right? well, it would be kind of a disaster for the party to have sanders win the first two or three states with 20-25%, each and end up with six or seven other candidates running over 10%. but, in the long run, it doesn't help sanders for all of these other candidates to split a couple of states, if they just realign with each other, in the end. if the best polls that sanders can find have him ahead with 23%, and klobuchar hanging on with 10+%, he's going to get leapfrogged after a few states, anyways. these polls would suggest that a weak early showing by biden could give buttigieg or klobuchar a serious bounce.

but, these polls probably aren't right.

biden is probably coasting quite comfortably, and set to sweep.

wait. if trotsky had invaded germany some time in the 20s, is that an increase or a decrease in bloodshed that results from it?

how would the cartels have reacted to a communist germany? might they have tried to taker over spain, instead?

on second thought, that was one reboot too many.

i'm guessing that they got some kind of script in there, and that it took a few tries to undo it. so, we're jumping right to the reinstall...

i accidentally broke some eggs, so i need to eat them, and that's fine.

i'll be back on top of things in a few hours.

dhcp seems to use those ports.

i can set up a static ip, that's fine.

but, is it clear enough that these reboots are being triggered remotely?

absolutely. i seem to be able to let the machine sit for basically ever, so long as i don't connect it to the internet. 

it's tempting, isn't it. but, it's not realistic - i'd have to run these machines in parallel, and that's wasteful. and, i've been very clear that i don't want to use this machine for local email. i need to keep fighting this.

it seems to be using ports 67/68 over udp to trigger the reboot, which appears to be a network admin thing. again - all information suggests i'm dealing with some kind of pro.

what happens if i block those ports?

this is what your policing tax dollars go after, people - disabled canadians trying to work on their art projects and stand up for their constitutional rights, in canada.

it's my opinion that, if the cops are going to spy on me, and presumably without a warrant, and for no discernible reason, then i have every right to piss them off for the sake of pissing them off.

and, if it comes down to it, that's exactly what i'll end up doing.

it's the principle of the thing.

this is my data. this is my computer. this is my privacy. and, fuck anybody that thinks they're entitled to look at it.

what i share with the world is here, in this space. this is what you get - you get no more.

i've never been - seriously - charged with a crime, and i expect the end result of the cases that i'm filing to be that the charges that were filed and dropped against me will be declared to have been illegal.

there is absolutely no basis for any of this, whatsoever, and i will be compensated for it, in the end.

so, what am i doing?

first, i'm going to eat.

i need to run over a bunch of files on the machine. i can do that before i reimage it. then, i can upload these files on the chromebook. that's fine. i just don't have access to word on this machine...

then, i need to figure out what's going on with the court stuff, which i can do while i'm reimaging.

it's been a slow process of removing windows update components, and one thing that is positive about the last attack is that they weren't able to update the catroot. nor do they appear to have been able to install any drivers. but, i can't have some shady group that i'm only vaguely sure of the existence of gathering data on my computer - i don't consent to that, and would argue that if anybody is caught doing that then they should go to jail for it.

it takes me about two hours to reimage.

we can do it twice a day, if you want, until you fuck off.

i get the feeling that i'd be baffled by the stupidity of what i'm actually dealing with, if i was actually aware of it.

but, what do you want me to tell you?

either somebody's trying to cover up some kind of absurd lie, or that kid needs a serious psychiatrist.

liars always lose, in the end.

while i am unable to vote in the united states, i was a bernie sanders supporters over 2016 and eventually very weakly endorsed clinton as an imperceptibly lesser evil - although, had i been able to vote, i would have almost certainly voted for jill stein.

and, i am the person that posted as deathtokoalas on youtube over 2013-2017 or so.

this is my youtube site: youtube.com/deathtokoalas.

i was born in ottawa, ontario on january 13th, 1981.

that makes me 39 years old plus a few days.

i have never been to new york, i don't use twitter and i don't play video games.

my pages are on the side of the blog.

it's out of principle, at this point.

even if they're not harming anything on my machine, i did not consent to being spied upon, and will not allow the report to send if i can stop it.

so, what's going on?

i spent all day yesterday updating the files offline, because i know what happens when i go back online. the files are all updated, and i should have something up at noise trade soonish. 

and, sure enough, it didn't take long for the machine to crash once i went online to splice the files...

but, i turned off a few specific things, and it seems to be preventing the bluescreen. now, it comes up with some kind of listener over udp, instead, that appears to be trying to send some kind of report back to head office.

it doesn't matter. 

so, i will need to reformat that machine before i go back online. it's perhaps an improvement, but it's not safe to connect with it, for right now.

i'm also noticing that, when i went to go search for my blogspot site, the teenager's pages are at the top of the feed. see, this is kind of getting the point across - somebody wants the world to think that deathtokoalas is from new york, instead of from canada, despite the fact that the poster was obviously canadian, because they pointed it out every other day. anybody that actually read my posts knows i'm from canada. it's just absurd to suggest i'm from new york.

i don't know what the end goal is here, but there is no endpoint but failure, and i should have my blogs from december up within a few hours.

and, yes - i'll have to reformat the other machine before i go back online. and, did you lose your report? awww.

ok.

so, i snuck the updates in first. i need to cross-reference before i can publish, but, tentatively, and as stated, this is a much smaller document. it's a shame about the cyberstalking, because i could have been done by the end of the year.

politics - 178 pages
music - 113 pages
deathtokoalas - 102 pages
travel - 5 pages

i will need to publish liner notes for inricycled, inri, inriched, inrimixed and inrijected. inrimake & inridiculous are coming, soon, as well as the first deny everything releases.

if i can stay up, it will be done in a few hours.

ok.

so, i'm caught up on the posts from the last few days.

did what i do work in keeping the system stable? i don't know. i know i took a few more steps. we'll see how long it lasts. i'm not expecting it to last more than a few days.

the next thing i need to do is re-evaluate the data from december, 2013, checking it for consistencies. as mentioned, there will only be a few posts left at the very end of the month, once i get through this - which probably won't be until tonight. but, i'm going to stop to eat first.

i'll get on the legal stuff when that is finished, with the intent to mail stuff on monday, hopefully.

30*3 + 30*12*6 + 30 = $2280.

+ interest...

no, really.

if i find out that my isp is spying on me on behalf of the cops, i want every dime i've ever given them back, tenfold.

wait.

are they actually using my isp?

that would be hilarious.

i want a fucking refund..

what i'm going through with this is the kind of thing that some future leaders might apologize for.

...and then keeping doing.

i will do this the right way.

i will defeat you in court.

i will strike these laws down as tyrannical.

i will be compensated for what you're putting me through.

why don't you go bother some fucking criminals, you worthless, parasitic sacks of shit?

no, it's...

it's the stupidity that pisses me off, more than anything else.

i can get indignant about the oppression, self-righteous about the interference, but the thing that really gets to me is how fucking retarded the situation is, overall.

i'm trying to write some liner notes for some records i wrote 20 years ago, and the cops in this country think that's worth trying to shut down.

fucking idiots...

you will never succeed.

you are wasting your time.

you are wasting my time, which i actually care about; i don't care about you, or your time.

just read the fucking blog.

there's no answer.

deal with it.

and, fuck off.

how many times are you going to do this?

'cause i'm going to sit here and reinstall over and over and over and over again. 

and, nothing will change between each reinstall - the windows update will be broken every single time.

and, the system will never allow unsigned drivers.

ever.

you keep doing the same fucking stupid thing over and over again.

it's not working.

it's not going to work.

the system is designed so it won't work, because i don't want it to work.

so, stop.

yeah. so, it does seem like they were able to get into the update, again.

it's starting to get stupid.

listen.

you fucking idiots...

you can't run a windows update on this system without it breaking.

get the fucking point.

and fuck off.

so, i want to get back to this, now.

first, i need to see what happens when i reboot. i presume i reloaded the corrupted driver and i'll get the same errors. it could be worse....

i'm trying to think, though - did i add anything to the registry since the last reinstall? i don't think i did. so, i might be better off copying the previous one back over. 

maybe it's that easy.

i mean, i didn't realize that on the last reinstall, right. i had to boot up to learn it...

yeah. something is very wrong in the registry. so, i should go back to the last one. i think that's settled. that's why i keep backups.

so, i'll try that, first.

if it's not that easy, i want to figure out where in the registry that the msconfig reads the data from. is it just in the controlset? is it just reading the startup flag?

i will say this: i realized i had the msi server locked down, and ended up fiddling around with it to repair word. that is, on second thought, i might have created this part of the problem (the missing services) myself.

i think i still ought to rewind to fix it...

ok. up and at them...

the pipelines are unpopular in quebec, and most quebec politicians have opposed them.

it turns out that charest is the outlier.

i'm going to withdraw my cautious interest: this doesn't seem like a way out, after all.

https://www.nationalobserver.com/2016/08/29/analysis/what-charest-affair-and-why-should-i-care

no word on if ketchup is a vegetable.

https://www.thestar.com/news/world/us/2020/01/17/trump-targets-michelle-obamas-school-nutrition-guidelines-on-her-birthday.html

you think they're doing this to save money, but it's worse than that - they want to prevent these kids from being able to compete.

with these constant back and forths, maybe it's time to re-examine the issue. why, exactly, are schools being put in charge of feeding kids, anyways? shouldn't the focus be on making sure that the kids get fed at home?

i would be curious to see where jean charest comes down on certain national issues.

he might actually end up running to the left of trudeau on a number of substantive issues. would he support these pipelines, for example? that's not clear.

we haven't, to this point, seen the kind of realignment in canada that's been happening in the united states, where the upper class is swinging towards the democrats and workers are swinging towards republicans. we have seen the liberals kind of follow the democrats' lead in swinging to these ultra bourgeois positions, which, in our own historical context, places them in the place that the progressive conservatives used to be in. trudeau seems more like a joe clark or a brian mulroney than he does like a pearson or a laurier, or his own father, for that matter. so, the liberals are kind of following the democrats in their swinging towards a more conservative centre of gravity, but the conservatives aren't trying to walk into the open space, they're kind of hanging out on the margins, afraid to really react. one gets the idea that they think this is temporary.

a charest could lead the conservative party to the kind of realignment that is happening in the united states, but he would have to do it in very different ways - he would have to embrace environmentalism, embrace gender and sexual equality and stand up for the enlightenment values that the west was founded on, and the liberals and democrats don't seem to care about any more. and, charest could do that. convincingly.

as a very hard leftist, i would be exceedingly skeptical about even thinking about supporting the conservatives.

but, i really don't like trudeau.

and, charest looks like the closest thing to a way out.

none of the other candidates i've seen are remotely electable.

i would encourage him to run.

it's rare that you can articulate something better than hitchens could.

he's basically right. i would take a more fundamental position of restricting statist authority, because i'm more of an anarchist than he was, but i don't have any disagreement with him.

and, this is the position one would expect from people that call themselves "liberals".

"Goebbels was in favor of free speech for views he liked. So was Stalin. If you're really in favor of free speech, then you're in favor of freedom of speech for precisely the views you despise. Otherwise, you're not in favor of free speech." - chomsky

my mom didn't tell me much of value when i was a kid, and i don't often cite her for wisdom, but she did tell me this, and i think it's good advice in determining what harm is, in context:

sticks and stones may break my bones,

but words can never hurt me

governments and politicians that seek to police speech need to be fought against and removed from power.

it's a red line they can't cross.

now, that said, free speech is about the limitations of government actions, it doesn't apply to behaviour between private individuals in personal communication, or over any kind of market.

so, when i say that the state has no grounds for interference, that doesn't extend to the behaviour of private individuals, who also maintain freedom of association.

what that means is that if you don't like somebody's facebook posts about the prime minister or "muslims", the proper thing to do is, in fact, fuck off - which could mean deleting them from facebook, not inviting them to parties, generally snubbing them in public, not sending them christmas cards, etc. you don't have an obligation to be nice to them, or associate with them in any way. that's your own right. saying certain things in public over a platform may lead to social consequences, and it's up to the people saying them to weigh that before they do it.

but, it's not the role of government to police speech.

and, that view is at the very crux of our culture and our civilization, and is something worth holding on to and fighting for.

i'm not a strict free speech literalist in the tradition of somebody like chomsky or hitchens, but i'm about as close to it as you can get to it without actually being it, and i do tend to go directly to mill in my arguments.

so, following mill, the only justification for state intervention on the question of speech is to prevent imminent harm. chomsky doesn't even believe in libel; i do believe in it abstractly, but i think the standard needs to be pretty high, and you have to demonstrate a clear financial injury - that is, you have to demonstrate actual harm.

i would reject the competing "offense principle" on it's face, and argue that people promoting it are perpetuating a kind of backwards, statist barbarism.

if you threaten to hurt somebody, that would be creating harm, but the threat has to be actually real. it's not enough to imagine that you might hurt somebody, or abstractly ponder hurting somebody - it has to be clear and actionable.

so, unless there were actual concrete threats to harm somebody, i would consider running one's mouth off about the prime minister or "muslims" on facebook to be protected speech, even if it offends virtually everybody. arresting somebody over this would be a breakdown in the rule of law, and an infringement of constitutionally protected rights. that person deserves compensation.

in the modern world, in north america, the internet is far too ubiquitous to conceive of actually getting anybody off of it.

it's like banning kids from bicycling on the sidewalk.

it's a completely unenforceable fantasy reality.

and, i happen to be both particularly hardheaded and particularly anti-authoritarian....and particularly nerdy. if it's a crazy idea a priori, i'm about the worst person you could imagine applying it towards....

could they be trying to stop me from responding to one of the cases?

that would be stupid.

if i have to, i can type on one of the other computers - or at the library.

as mentioned, i have this backed up all over the place. i'm not going to tell you exactly where. but i have at least ten backups, in random places that should survive any kind of takedown.

and, i could be sending email from the chromebook if i have to, too.

if that's the intent, it's a stupid waste of time. there is a 0% possibility of success...

but, it would kind of speak to the scenario, wouldn't it? first, arrest somebody on bullshit charges. then, delay for months to try to stop it from getting to court. then, try to hack into the machine to delete the evidence.

i need them to own up to it and take responsibility for their oppression and compensate me for the infringement of my rights.

and, the longer it goes on, the more they'll have to pay out, in the end...

turns out that i got my form 68 from the court, after all. i was expecting to have to wait for the factum. so be it. it was dated to tuesday, so i'm guessing it got here yesterday.

the form is empty, and i'm going to have to read up on how to fill it out. they're suggesting that the hearing should be in april or may.

no response from the landlord, and at this point i should probably give up.

so, this is what i want to do, if i can figure it out.

1) i want to finish the rebuild for december and get the pdfs up to noise trade. there's only a few posts left.

2) i'll need to work this form out for monday and figure out what i need to do, exactly. i believe i need to reach out to schedule; i understand the general idea, i just need to get the formalities down, i've never done this, remember. i don't think it's that complicated.

3) i'll need to write up the request to defer and send it to the human rights tribunal by the end of the day on monday.

i would not expect there to be any further concerns for the rest of the month.

and, as mentioned, i don't expect to actually go anywhere for weeks, if not months. there are shows in march...but i need to make sure i can get to the hearing...

you are getting a far greater volume to this blog when my machine is broken than you are when it isn't.

this will continue for as long as i have to keep fixing the computer for.

...because what else am i going to do?

as pointed out repeatedly, knocking my main laptop offline will not affect my ability to post to this blog.

what it will do is slow down my progress on my art projects.

it will also put me in situations where i'm waiting for the electrical to turnover, or otherwise wasting time. this will lead to procrastination, or just plain out shitposting.

so, it should be obvious at this point that attempts to knock me offline have not been successful, and are actually even irrational.

what i want to do is focus on my art. i'd be spending far less time ranting on the internet if i was able to actually focus on what i actually care about...

again: there is no actual evidence that biden is failing.

and, there is no actual evidence that sanders is rising.

this is a curious media spin. but, it's actually a sign of desperation.

unless something changes - and it could. clearly. - i would still expect biden to run the table. he is ahead everywhere.

that's how it is.

the police have way too much power right now, and they're using it in ridiculously inappropriate ways that shit all over the rule of law.

and, liberals are cheering it on when they should be pushing back against it.

i do hope, however, that this person seeks proper financial compensation for the trouble that the police are putting them through.

we are developing a serious problem with a police state in this country, and if the legislature won't address it then we will need the courts to.

technically speaking, what i'm doing is public, clearly.

but, a facebook post should actually be considered private conversation, and that's probably the easiest away around this kind of authoritarian bullshit.

it's a shame, because i'd like to see the laws torn down completely. it probably won't be necessary for this case....

if you don't like what i think, then fuck off.

you think you can tell me what i can or can't say in public?

that my expression should be policed by whether or not you find it offensive? that that matters? that i should care?

no. that is backwards. that is barbaric. and, that kind of attitude cannot be tolerated in a free society - that must be struggled against by appeals to freedom of expression, until it is educated out of the most ignorant of the ignorant.

freedom must win this debate, and there can be no compromising on it - the state has no place in the facebook feeds, or blogspot posts, of the nation.

we have some of the most backwards speech laws in the western world, laws that are more reflective of a backwards country like iran, and that has to change.

canada's restrictive and authoritarian speech laws have been an embarrassment to this country for far too long, and it is far past time that they are struck down as unconstitutional.

i, for one, will stand up for freedom in the face of tyranny until i'm struck down in cold blood, as i no doubt will be.

i will not be silenced.

i will stand for what is right.

these kinds of laws have no place in a free society, and i hope that he fights for his rights to freedom of expression and has the laws torn down as unconstitutional.

islam is a system of organized violence, and there are legitimate grounds to speak out against it.

but, i'm actually more concerned about the threats to speech that come from fake liberals like justin trudeau, that align with these authoritarian systems of violence so willingly. this is a threat to democracy that we need to take seriously and we need to defeat through education and appeals to the rule of law under civilized discourse. we cannot be led into religious or authoritarian backwardsness. 

https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2020/01/17/man-charged-in-connection-to-online-threats-aimed-at-trudeau-and-muslims.html

i mean, send me an email.

i have the address.

to be clear.

i first set up death.to.koalas@gmail.com as a temporary email address to send logfiles back and forth to myself from work when i was doing vista tech support for microsoft in early 2007. i was mostly posting at the cbc site under various plays on dsfgfxtfkdrfililguilddka over these years - the names changed fairly randomly. those accounts would have been connected to my rogers address.

i didn't start using the deathtokoalas address more regularly until i got evicted in late 2011 and lost access to the rogers pop server. after the cbc tried to shut me down for being an anarchist, i switched to mostly posting over facebook from about 2010-2013 or so. then i switched to youtube in early 2014 and starting using the deathtokoalas handle because it was my google+ name.

i believe that the kid in new york is currently about 20 years old, meaning they would have been about 6-8 or so when i set the account up in 2007 and about 12-14 when i started posting in early 2014. say what you want about my maturity level, but it's obvious that i wasn't 13 years old at the time. 

to an extent, i should be flattered, maybe.

but, i wonder if this might have something to do with the person that's stalking me.

if i search for deathtokoalas, the following sites come up in order:

1) https://bandcamp.com/deathtokoalas. this is me.

2) https://soundcloud.com/deathtokoalas. this is me.

3) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChFC3O4nKgg5zGbqoqkmBSA. this is not me. i presume it's the teenager from new york, who is too unoriginal to get their own site. maybe it's some idiots on reddit. i don't know. but, it should be obvious that it's not me...

i have a number of youtube sites and i cross-reference myself on them. there's nothing stopping somebody else from setting up a site using my name, so i could not have copyrighted this, if it was worthwhile.

but what happens if you click this: youtube.com/deathtokoalas? that is me. and, it's the best i can do in protecting my name.

4) https://na.op.gg/summoner/userName=DeathToKoalas. this is not me. i guess it's that kid in new york. but, again - it should be obvious that this isn't me, and i wouldn't go to a site like that.

5) https://www.twitch.tv/deathtokoalas. this is not me. again - it should be obvious that it is not me. i don't play games. i've been clear....so, i guess, it's that kid in new york, again. i don't care about twitch. remotely.

6) https://medium.com/@deathtokoalas. this is me, but it was a drive-by post from, like, years ago. i haven't been there in years. i don't intend to go back.

7) https://amp.pastemagazine.com/noisetrade/books/j/082013-deathtokoalas. this is me.

8) https://www.pastemagazine.com/noisetrade/books/j/082013-deathtokoalas. this is me.

9) http://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/. this is me.

10) http://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2017_06_24_archive.html. this is me.

11) https://twitter.com/deathtokoalas?lang=gl. this is not me, it's the kid in new york. i don't use twitter and don't care about it any more than twitch. my twitter handle is @dgkfgjklgjkgjka, which is the handle i was actually using in 2010 or whenever i set that up. i didn't start using deathtokoalas as a youtube handle until around 2013/2014. and, i'd already decided against using twitter. i had no idea that my name would go viral or that i'd need to protect it, either. i spend quite a bit of time attacking twitter, actually. i kind of hate it, to be frank. so, it's an annoyance, but i don't actually care, i'm happy enough to just get the point across - that is not me, and i do not use that website.

12) https://www.reddit.com/user/deathtokoalas/. that is me, actually. but, i post to reddit very infrequently.

13) https://books.noisetrade.com/service/widgetv2book/61af5b3e-2c7f-4ce0-ada0-197d5b7b55bc. this is me.

14) https://books.noisetrade.com/service/widgetv2book/420a9381-0845-40a4-85cf-c13fb869020f. this is me.

15) https://lolchess.gg/search?region=na&name=deathtokoalas. not me. don't game. don't know what this is.

16)  http://www.angelfire.com/comics/fuzzieblue160/TheGORD.html. i don't know what this is, but i don't expect it has anything to do with me directly. it might be some kind of joke. i'm not privy to it.

17) https://support.mozilla.org/gl/questions/1159404. this is me.

18) http://www.ekospolitics.com/index.php/2018/06/without-significant-changes-doug-ford-on-track-for-majority-government/. this is me.

19) http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/help-support/8xwibYJa-lost-lp-after-winning?sort_type=best. not me. don't know what this is.

20) https://zh-cn.facebook.com/pages/category/Musician-Band/41134747113/posts/. this would be me, but i don't know why it comes up in chinese.

a general rule is that, while you can't be sure that deathtokoalas in all lower case is always me, you can be sure that something like DeathToKoalas or DeathtoKoalas would absolutely never be me. i am an alphabetical egalitarian, i reject capitalism....

anywhere that i post regularly is on the side.

but, if you really think those league of legends sites are me, i can't be bothered with you.

all of my youtube sites are on the side.

my only twitter site is also on the side.

i do not have a twitch account.

and, i do not play any games. ever. at all.

i don't play shoot 'em 'up cowboys 'n' indians type games, or whatever you call them.

i don't play dungeons 'n' dragons style strategy games.

i don't play board games. i don't play apps on phones. i don' play tetris, or minesweeper or solitaire or pong.

i play no games.

ever.

at all.

i think it's better to tell the stalker what the systems in my house are. i don't have anything to hide, here. i'm better off trying to convince them that they're wasting their time.

so, i have three computers that connect to the internet, and they are all laptops.

- i am typing this from a thinkpad chromebook that i log into as a guest. this machine is intended solely for mobile use. it's also an emergency backup. this machine would have to use trashy apps like google docs, and isn't acceptable for any kind of serious word processing. i connect via a wired connection.

- i have a 90s compaq evo with a winlited windows xp on it. this is an extremely minimal image with very old hardwire. this is a laptop that is so old that it shipped without a wireless card in it. i use this laptop strictly to watch youtube videos when i'm eating. there is nothing on this machine. i could in theory use this machine for blogging, but it is very slow and several of the keys are broken. it has, like, 512 mb of ddr2 ram or something.

- the machine that i have been using as my access point for the last several years - since mid-2017 - is a compaq from the mid 00s with a broken backlight screen on it. this is an old dual core with windows 7 (although it shipped with vista) and a 50 gb install drive. this machine is designed to break and rebuild; i keep everything important in a series of external drives. there is no wireless in this machine.

i also have an hp with 8 gb of ram, a broken backlight and a fried system board. i am hoping to fix this, eventually.

i have three pcs. 

one of them shipped with windows 98 and used to be my tv, but it's been phased out. i will eventually put 98 back on there and use it for obscure sound design. this will never connect to the internet ever again.

one of them shipped with vista, but currently runs xp and is my main recording pc. it is currently half disassembled and used mostly for troubleshooting these cyberattacks. it does not have a network card and will never connect to the internet again.

there is a third pc that i bought parts for in mid 2017 and haven't assembled yet because i haven't had time. i will put a 64 bit os on this machine and use it for recording. it does not have a wireless card in it, and i will disable the network card in the bios. i will never, ever, ever connect this computer to the internet.

there is also a phone that i wish i never bought and never turn on.

so, what i have exposed to the network are these three laptops - the chromebook, the 90s laptop with xp and the 00s laptop with windows 7. none of them would be very useful to a hacker. and, none of them have any data on them.

clearly, it would not be very bright for me to connect my data to the internet, would it? some horrible asshole wants to destroy my art...

so, i tried to run over the currentcontrolset with a different control set that appeared to have the service states in a better configuration and the system instantly rebooted.

i think this is the first time i've seen the system reboot without being connected to the internet. did i reinstall a bad driver?

i'm not sure what to do about this. there's actually only about 30 services in the msconfig list, and close to 100 in the services list. how did that happen? there's a large number of services that i do not want running at startup. period.

i suppose i could always just delete them outright. but, that could create some problems...

i'm also considering cloning the machine to a different hard drive. i have several backups, actually. i just don't think this is actually the problem, and i don't think i'm going to solve anything with it.

stated another way, this appears to be a decision that is emotionally driven rather than one that is intellectually driven, and that's a problem for a democratic state. that's how despotic states behave. constitutional governments cannot operate on passion, they must legislate by appealing to reason.

ok.

so, he's presenting it as emergency funding, under the argument that they can't wait. i don't know if that's true or not. but, it's presenting the situation as an exception.

i would like to see a general policy - a set of rules for the government to abide by. canada is not a monarchy and should not have decisions made on a whim by the prime minister; constitutional states require adherence to a rule of law, and a set of protocols and procedures.

i don't believe in making space for exceptions, or in governing from the back of a napkin.

i'd like to see an actual policy.

i don't exactly want to oppose funding for the crash victims. i think everybody can agree that the situation is unfortunate, and if the government is going to offer them money, it would be a little bit harsh to get in between that. i think they deserve compensation from the iranian government, at least, even if the basis of compensation from the canadian government is....legally unclear.

it's more like i have a few questions.

is this a new policy, generally? i think i would be more likely to get behind comprehensive legislation that presents the government as an insurance body in the case of accidents, more generally. it's the piece meal approach to this that is rubbing me the wrong way a little bit, because it's suggesting that the government is giving these victims special treatment in the face of what it sees as a political win. that is, it seems like the government is essentially politicizing this. and, while i'm sure the victims appreciate the cash, that's actually kind of slimy, and kind of slimy in a way that is consistent with this government.

so, is it going to be the policy of this government to offer insurance to the victims of certain kinds of accidents, moving forwards? are there going to be delineated grounds for compensation? if so, i'd actually lean towards supporting this.

or, is this going to be an ad hoc case-by-case thing where the government decides to fund specific victims for political purposes? i could not, in good conscience, support the politicization of tragedy in that manner, and i might call on the victims to reject the funds.

the compensation should come from the iranian state.

i'm dealing with a migraine again, so i'm going to spend the day sleeping, but i just need to point out a few things.

- they seem to have disabled the ability to turn off certain services in msconfig. i'll have to fix that before i consider reconnecting to the internet.

- i do not have a raid controller, anywhere. raid is for gamers. i don't game. i'm a musician. i have multiple hard drives because i need a lot of space to store all of the data. the drives are not the same. further, the pc with the multiple drives has no network card in it. the laptop that i use to connect to the internet has one sata drive in it.

i'll be back up when the headache goes away.

and, the bootlog is crashing at the same place, too.

so, the primary goal still appears to be to take down the firewall and install a vpn.

which is never going to happen, because i'll never allow unsigned drivers.

i'm going to just try a vanilla copy over for now, and hope i can get the rebuild finished.

the last ip addresses in the log belong to google (which makes sense, as i was posting to blogger and listening to youtube) and fastly, which does not, unless google is buying services from fastly, which seems unlikely.

i don't see any legitimate reason for these ips.

so, i guess i can try blocking the range of ip addresses by fastly when i come up. hopefully, that buys me some more time.

again, though: whoever is doing this appears to have gone to the trouble of purchasing a cloud computing service to attack me with. that's surreal. it indicates quite a bit of investiture, and it's starting to freak me out.

i'm starting to feel stalked. like, actually stalked - stalked in terms that would meet a legal definition of an actual crime. 

so, i have a potential source, but it doesn't look to be very helpful. hopefully, though, i can block it..

i'm an egalitarian. i like equality. i treat people as equals, and want to be treated as an equal by the people around me.

i don't like people that are dominant or controlling. and, i'm not going to submit to anybody's dominance. nor am i going to fight back against them.

i'm just going to try to avoid and ignore people that act like that, because i wouldn't enjoy spending my time with them.

again: i'm not enjoying this.

i don't like this game.

i'm not having fun.

this is boring. i want to do something else with my time.

i don't like the person that is doing this. i'm not impressed by them. i'm annoyed, and want them to leave me alone.

ok, it's the same access error i was getting previously.

....meaning that i'm pretty sure i know how to fix it.

i'm going to guess that the increased harmfulness of the attack is a function of the increased difficulty in breaking in and that they're essentially still running the same failed exploit, which i'm going to format yet again.

but, let's see what kind of evidence they left.

there's not really anything i can do until i get some kind of lead.

i do still think that it's the cops, or at least i think that the cops are the primary suspect. then, what happens if i call? i'm just giving them information.

if it's not the cops, i don't have any useful information to give them - i can't really prove that my hard drive isn't failing, although i'm nerdy enough to know it isn't.

the chkdsk gave me back my file directory at least, let's see what happens if i try to boot.

this is legit cyberstalking, and the person responsible belongs in a jail cell for it.

but, how concerned ought i be about who or what is stalking me?

if succeeding in locking whatever i'm fighting with out made them angry and destructive all of a sudden, what exactly am i dealing with, here?

i haven't posted in a while.

i didn't want to broadcast that i was up, and that the system seemed stable, i just wanted to quietly get back to work. and, i got quite a bit done - i'm very close to being finished the rebuild for 2013, it's just two days and a few pages left, although i'm going to have to rewind to the beginning of the month when i get back up to ensure data integrity. it's very time consuming, but it's required every time i do this.

i was probably on to something about the service workers being an attack vector, because they don't seem to have been able to do what they were doing previously. that seems to have stopped them.

so, instead, they did something else and tried to take my boot drive out altogether. i got an 0x24, which is an indexing error and may indicate lost data.

it's not actual lost data. i don't keep anything on my boot drive; it's designed to be wiped out. if i've lost anything, it's the changes i made since the last reimage, and that's minor.

but, this is an escalation. this is the first time they've threatened my data in any meaningful way.

i'll have to see what i can recover from the drive. can i get an ip address? can i figure out what they did?

i wanted to finish the rebuild before i ate, and i did get very close, but i'll have to run a chkdsk on the drive and i'll have to eat now.

are they trying to delete the data after all? that's not consistent. rather, i might suspect that somebody just threw a temper tantrum. and, given that this is all very childish all around, is it worthwhile to tell them to grow up?

this is my computer, my data, my website, my ideas, my writings. i own all of this. this is mine. nobody has any rights of interference, here.

it's ridiculous enough that i have to waste my time fighting this off, but to the extent that i'm successful, i'm certainly in my rights of self-defense. 

but, it's worrisome.

and, it's making me wonder. is this really the cops? or is it a fucked up loser with control issues?

so, where was i?

- i was back from toronto on dec 11th, but i was sick.
- the show reviews finished up on the 16th.
- i got the response from the onhrc on the 16th.
- i have to wait until jan 21st to file a deferral.
- machine up and down from 18th-21st.
- html5 template worked out from 19th-22nd
- addendum first sent on 21st
-  22nd-27th - liner note updates for 11/2013 releases
- 24th: motions first sent
- 28th: seeds for december releases
- 28th-30th -master document
- 30th - printed & mailed the motions

- 31st-1st   - procrastinating
- 2nd-6th - posting for 12/2013
- 2nd-13th - posting for january shows in detroit
- 6th-15th - fighting with computer
- 9th - motion heard
- 10th - received record of application

so, i don't want to get cocky, but, so far so good.

the service workers don't appear to have turned back on.

the firewall log is still running.

i have noticed explorer reference some weird files, but i can't currently tie it to anything sketchy.

there's no email from the oiprd or the court, and the property owner has until the 21st to react, at which point i'll need to send the request to put the file on hold until the outcome of the divisional court ruling to the human rights tribunal. so, there's nothing pressing, there.

further, i've archived all the posts to this space in my email. so, i'm tentatively ready to get back to what i was doing.

the problem is that it's been so long that i'm hazy as to what it was that i was actually doing. so, i'm going to read up on each of the blogs to reacquaint myself with the process, and then i could conceivably be back to posting by the end of the night. of course, this depends on the system remaining stable...

it's very dry in here still, which is making it hard to smell anything at all. your nose needs moisture to work. i'm not getting that. my lips are chapped, my cheeks are bleeding, my hair is knotted up - it's really brutal. i'm trying to drink a lot of water, and get into the shower regularly to compensate, but the combination of things - the heaters, the dehumidifier and the smoke/pollution - is just horrific. he claims this is helping him; i'd suggest it's probably the cause of his problems more than the solution to them. i mean, he claims he gets migraines. well, i'd guess he's brutally dehydrated. but, he's apparently back to not working, so i'm wondering about the smoking, too. i heard him come in on the evening of new year's eve, and may have heard him crying. he seems to be unable to get over an exwife.

there was also an appraiser here the other day, meaning he's either getting a mortgage or selling the place.

but, for me, the dryness (and pollution, presumably) is really making me tired, spaced out and unable to focus. it's so dry that i can't smell well enough to know if i'm breathing in second hand marijuana smoke, but i feel tired enough and disoriented enough to suspect it. i'm also strangely hungry, which is making me that much weaker (and i'm on an eating schedule that i'm not interested in breaking, so i will sit here and suffer). i'm trying to drink a lot of coffee to compensate, but it's not really working. so, i'm operating at a degraded capacity, and we'll see what kind of effect it has on me.

if he decides to sell the place and moves out, that could be a net positive for me, if the next tenant ("owner") is a little bit more clean and a little bit less fanatic about the dry air. it'd be nice to get rid of the dog, too. a non-smoking clean freak female without pets or kids would be nice.

so, yeah....i'm half here right now, kind of fuzzy from the dehydration, and not entirely sure where i left off. but, once i figure it out, i'll be back to rebuilding the dec/2013 archive.

....which was close to being done, actually. promise.

i mean, even the idea that warren beat a republican incumbent is..

this is ted kennedy's old seat. the republican win was a total fluke. the democrats could have run a house plant and won that seat back...

on top of that, he essentially ran as an independent.

and, personally?

my position on warren has been more or less the same for years.

i actually saw this coming.

twitter is essentially the electronic equivalent of an angry lynch mob.

"i believe you because you're a woman" is not a progressive statement.

it's either white knight chauvinism or female supremacism, and egregiously sexist either way. it's absolutely backwards and totally reactionary.

belief must be based on evidence, not appeals to gender. truth does not have a gender bias. i'm even willing to label it a new fallacy - reductio ad genus.

i know that the twitter crowd will disagree, but these people don't think very clearly and what they think basically doesn't matter.

but, can a woman beat donald trump?

it's a goofy question. what woman? under what circumstances? are they going to literally have a pissing contest? it really shouldn't matter...

i think it's fair to say that a woman is likely to face certain challenges against donald trump that a man wouldn't, but the opposite is also true.

so, it's kind of a dumb topic and it sort of hurts my brain to try to articulate a coherent response to it. in principle, sure - but they'd better show up ready for a bloodbath.

do i think that these specific women could beat donald trump? i'd give klobuchar a better chance than warren, but i don't think warren's challenges are going to have as much to do with her gender as they are going to have to do with her politics, and her demeanor. the truth is that we've seen this in america over and over and over again. trump v warren, as unlikely as it is, may be indiscernible from trump v clinton, and warren may not have much control over that. but, it's the same thing that bush did to dukakis, or eisenhower did to stevenson.

northeastern eggheads don't tend to do well, nationally.

so, she set up a nice strawman to knock down, and everything. but, you should really just take it as another flag - another sign of her demagoguery and persistent dishonesty.

you should not trust elizabeth warren. and i mean, generally...

fwiw, warren has run a dishonest campaign from the start, and i'm far more inclined to believe that she's lying for sympathy votes than that bernie is trying to avoid getting into hot water over this.

so, i don't have any problems telling elizabeth warren she's a liar, because there's quite a bit of evidence that she's lied about all kind of other things.

that said, i wasn't there. i can't know.

but, it's not enough to just believe her because she's a woman, and that kind of thinking has no place in the modern world.

there are things you play politics with, and there are things you be pragmatic about.

the old bernie knew where to draw the line.

the new bernie doesn't, apparently.

nafta still sucks.

but, a sitting senator has the unique opportunity to try to make it better. and, that's something i haven't seen from sanders, at this point.

this bill is going to pass. so, sanders should be proposing specific amendments to the agreement to try to make it as good as it can get. instead, he's trying to turn it into a purity test, and it's going to hurt him, in the end.

but, it does still suck.

clearly.

regarding afghanistan.

there's reality, and then there's what the politicians tell you to try to get you to vote for them, and the reality is that there was never any intent to leave afghanistan.

the americans have been in japan and korea, now, for 74 years. and, there are still troops in germany, too, although they don't seem to mind as much.

they've been in the philippines since 1898, and have made a state out of hawaii. puerto rico may become a state one day too, if it doesn't sink into the ocean due to neglect, first.

there are countries in latin america and africa that have been occupied for most of the last 100 years. and, iraq itself has been occupied almost constantly since the collapse of the ottoman empire in world war one.

nor did the americans leave vietnam - they were driven out. they hung on until the embassy got stormed. you might hear things about a congressional authorization being withdrawn, but the actual reality is that they just lost the war. they didn't withdraw so much as they fled. if they could have held their ground, they'd still be there.

the reality is that the united states will not be leaving afghanistan unless they are pushed out by force.

when a politician tries to tell you otherwise, you should be skeptical of their other promises - it's a flag that they're slimy and dishonest. it's demagoguery in the literal sense - they know they're lying to you. they just think you're too stupid to figure it out...

i updated this:

https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2020/01/so-to-recap-what-are-my-political.html

i might imagine that i'm presenting a new left in american politics that is centred in science as a guiding principle towards a technocratic, post-industrial full communism.

but, that would depend on how many people agree with me.

so, to recap, what are my political positions in the american cycle?

- i support single payer health care and the abolition of private insurance, and this would be my primary ballot concern.
-  i would support a manhatten-project style approach to addressing climate change - trillions of dollars in government expenditures on research, mitigation and adaptation. it should be the centre of all government policy, moving forwards.
- while i would oppose any movement towards regime change in syria, i would support targeted actions towards regime change in iran. i also think it's important to continue to keep an eye on isis.
- i would support detente with russia and the removal of nato troops from eastern europe
- i would recognize a broad chinese sphere of influence in the eastern hemisphere, but continue to support the japanese, particularly.
- i would support a 'good neighbour' policy in latin america
- i would support raising taxes on high incomes to mid twentieth century levels.
- i would support a universal basic income that is meaningful, not the small amount yang is presenting
- education should be free if you can get in, but it should be much harder to get in. jobs programs should focus on more targeted training that employers actually ask for.
- i would argue that immigration is a legal issue, not a political one, and take steps to get politicians out of the way, to allow the courts to do their job. "the best interests of the child" is the existing legal precedent, and it should be more closely adhered to.
- i would support constitutional protections for queer people as a means of freedom of expression and argue that this should be a primary focus of judicial appointments.
- abortion is closed
- faith has no place in politics; science is everything. i would support the elimination of "religious freedom" as a constitutionally protected right.
- i would support massive investments in public housing, with an eventual eye towards the abolition of private property altogether. property is impossible in a free society.
- i would be less inclined towards syndicalism and more inclined towards nationalization of industry; i think that industries should be owned by everybody, not just the workers that work in them. production should be geared towards demand and need, rather than profit.
- i would tend to not support plans to break up industry; i prefer nationalization. i don't believe in markets.
- nafta still sucks.
- broadly speaking, i would rather put people in jail than deport them; there is almost no scenario where i would support deportation. but, i think the laws need to be enforced. so, i would end up forcing illegals to do their time.
- migrant workers are entitled to the same protections and privileges and wages as non-migrant workers. that means that businesses that hire migrant workers under the table at substandard wages should be fully prosecuted to the full extent of the law. and, maybe the law could be a little more severe, too.
- in the long run, i would support a schengen-style arrangement in the nafta area, but the application of such an arrangement must be dependent on the improvement of mexican labour laws.
- reparations should be approached as a re-distributive policy under a socialist model. i would not support reparations in the context of a capitalist model, or on the basis of skin colour or family history. the past was what it was, but we have to be equal, in the future.

so, as mentioned previously, i don't have a lot of points of agreement with either party.

i am a communist, which means i tend to lean towards the democrats. but, i'm not one and i don't want to be one and i'm never going to feel comfortable supporting them.

i feel much more comfortable leaning towards a more radical alternative, like the greens.

i need to get in and out of the shower before 7:00. but i guess i'm bright and early today. let's hope i can make it a long day....although i still don't really feel very energetic. i'm just dehydrated and sluggish.

i knew there was some kind of issue with firefox connecting to something. i appear to have found and resolved that. we'll see if it fixes it or not.

but, i'm going to try and get some work done after i get out of the shower.

a little while back, firefox had an issue where all of the plugins stopped working due to a verification issue. i installed the developer edition of firefox to get around it, and never switched back to the regular version.

there's this thing it does called "servicing" where websites can push information down to the browser, and i found a list of sites, some sketchier looking than others. but this is apparently also a known exploit because the information is easily intercepted and spoofed.

there were some weird text documents showing up in my user directory, with sites i'd never been to in them.

i have turned that off as best i can and the text documents appear to have stopped. we'll need to see if that works or not.

....but this dry air makes me so tired....zzzzzzzzz.......

so, the error that i'm reproducing appears to be an access error. that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, unless something is damaging a file in the botched driver install.

i mean, i can access the files when i reimage. then, a few hours later, the machine restarts, and i can't access the file? what?

could it be a failing hard drive? that doesn't make sense either, not after so many reinstalls. it shouldn't be the same thing over and over. and, the drive should find the corrupted sector, too.

it seems more like a script is running and appending to the file, and then i can't access it because it's not signed. this is, like, the one windows process i won't turn off, too....and for good reason....

so, we're reformatting again and i'm just going to put this down vanilla to get it to boot. i haven't actually gotten anywhere, but i want to check my email.

i would consider this to be a good reason to leave the commonwealth, quite frankly.

harry whatshisface apparently has a net worth of $40 million. he has no elected or appointed purpose in canada, and would even be stripped of his title under the nickle resolution.

the idea that taxpayers should send them a nickel is outrageous and, as it is a money issue, i would like to see the government fall over it, should it actually be budgeted.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/bill-morneau-security-costs-harry-meghan-1.5424988

and, i would suggest to the iranian government that they ought to arrest the people that fired the missiles, not the people that filmed the missiles hitting the plane.

i would not support or vote for him, but i would clearly still prefer sanders win the nomination.

i don't think he has a serious chance, i think that if biden fails then his support moves to a younger, centrist candidate like buttigieg or, less likely, klobuchar. 

but, you're going to hear calls from the pseudo-left for warren to stand down to avoid splitting the vote, and these should be muted. it is probably true that warren was sent by the cabal to split the vote - that's an accurate analysis. but, her support is eating into biden's far more, and if she drops out it will help biden far more than it will help sanders.

if you're a sanders supporter, you want warren to stick around and bleed that upper class support from biden.

but, it just underscores the problems with bernie, right now. as these candidates drop, biden's numbers are going to come up, not fall down. it looks competitive right now, but it's kind of an illusion - the conditions bernie needs to stay competitive really aren't sustainable.

i'm not willing to call it for biden just yet, as i think he can still fuck up, or fall over and be unable to get up. but, bernie will be leapfrogged if that happens....

also: i already told you that i'm not watching the debates.

well.

probably not, anyways.

i've already decided that i'll be supporting the socialist/green candidate this election.

i think i've got a lead on the firefox backdoor, though - they seem to be installing an extension somehow and then deleting it. that extension seems to be what's triggering all of the things.

the group policy doesn't have a firefox setting for obvious reasons, so maybe there's some user prefs to look at, there.

it still doesn't really answer anything...

if i can just find the driver, right?

i get the feeling it won't be that easy - that it will bluescreen if i try to dismantle it.

but it looks right now like the immediate problem is dfsc.sys, which is again pointing to somebody trying to slave the system to a domain in order to keep an eye on me.

so, i passed out last night after i took a shower and have spent most of the day sleeping. i decided i needed to catch up on rest.

but, i'm struggling with how to approach this. as much as i want to bitch about not wanting to spend my time troubleshooting driver issues, it's obvious that what i'm doing isn't working.

unfortunately, i've reproduced the issue on the pc without connecting to the internet, so whatever's going on seems to be in the registry or otherwise exists locally. i'm still convinced that the reboots are being triggered remotely. but, the bad driver is already on my system, and whatever's triggering it seems to already be in the boot sequence.

so, i may have to rewind to an older image, which means backtracking on the server issue.

if i can get a basic linux install on this thing, then i should be able to launch xp in a virtual machine and that might be good enough.

up in canada, we recently had a prime minister named stephen harper that the media often claimed was usually the smartest person in the room - a claim that seems laughable, until you realize that mr. harper is a pretty partisan guy.

i get the impression that cory booker is usually the smartest guy in the room, and he stood out, to me, for that reason.

but i just didn't like his politics that much. his health care position was particularly weak.

but, if his path was identity, i think it's clear enough that this didn't actually add up, in the end. obama was an insider, but he could sound like a normal black man. booker had a disconnect...

i didn't get a lot of actual sleep, but i shut down for a few hours.

i need to reiterate the point i've made several times, now: i post my entire life to the internet. i'm never far from a typing device, and i'm not shy about expressing myself.

so, what is the value of law enforcement eavesdropping on me?

is there some concern that i'm not who i claim i am? if so, how would i even have time?

am i not sharing enough information? not sharing the right kind of information? is there maybe some kind of delusional imagination that i'm not sharing things that aren't actually happening?

it's just hard for me to get my head around this. i post to the internet all day every day, and the cops seem to want to install surveillance software to determine what i'm doing when i'm not posting? what?

listen - what you see is what you get, with me. there is no secret life of jessica. i'm not hiding anything. i just want to get back to work.

so, it might take me a few tries to delete any traces of these tunneling drivers from my system, and then what? are you going to try to install some other surveillance software? why?

why not just read the fucking blog?

but, let's remember a few things:

1) the laptop i'm using to connect to the internet does not have a webcam or a microphone in it.

2) i have physically removed the wireless card from the machine.

3) the wired internet connection is 6 mbps. max.

4) the laptop has 4 gb of ram, which is the maximum the board can take. it's running a 64-bit os.

5) it's a dual core processor from 2006. 

6) the laptop initially shipped with windows vista, but is running a legal copy of windows 7. i got the product key from the licensing centre at carleton university. it is not an evaluation copy, and does not expire.

7) i will not allow unsigned drivers on my system, so any attempt to install them is going to lead to errors.

i don't know what you're looking for, but i assure you it's not here.

so, to recap.

as far as i can tell, what was happening initially is that they were trying to install a server, and it errored out when it tried to load an unsigned driver.

so, i deleted all the server files...

now, they're trying to install a vpn, and it's erroring out when it tries to load an unsigned driver.

so, i'll have to delete all the vpn files...

this stuff has been uninstalled on my machine for years. but, it sits on your drive. it's how windows works. and, if you know where to find it...

with the way i locked the group policy down, this guy has to have some kind of serious back door, too. it shouldn't be possible to do anything remotely. and, yet...

*shrug*.

i don't want those files there anyways. 

but, like i say, i'm getting fed up.

so, i was back up this morning around 4:00 and i got knocked off again around 12:00. i decided against reinstalling until later tonight, and tried to get some sleep, but i'm fucking pissy about this and couldn't nod off...

i decided that i'd might as well try and figure out what's going on, why i'm getting these blue screens. i mean, it's clear enough that i'm under cyber attack, but what can i do about it...

the reason i'm getting a different error - a blue screen instead of the lock screen - is that they appear to have changed their tactic. i was able to boot into the os by disabling driver verification again, only to realize a few things:

1) they deleted the firewall logfile. so, i don't have an ip.

2) instead of trying to install a server, now they're trying to install a vpn.

so, as far as i can tell, i was able to successfully delete the server from the winsxs folder. now, they're trying to install a vpn instead.

so, now i have to delete the vpn files from the winsxs folder...

it's bizarre. this person just won't give up. every time i find a way to block a path, they find some other vector. and, what exactly are they looking for?

i was initially under the impression that the purpose of this was to knock me offline, but it seems more clear, now, that they're trying to spy on me, and keep fucking up. so, i still can't imagine this is a kid - this is too much. but what i thought was a tenacious network admin working for an intelligence agency that was trying very hard to knock me offline now appears to be an agent that is actually trying desperately to keep an eye on me.

i don't know how to fix the underlying problem. obviously, he shouldn't be able to hack in via firefox in the first place. but, i seem to be defenseless against it...

so, if he wants me to delete all these infs files and tunneling drivers, i can do that.

ugh.

when can i stop wasting my time? when i'm dead? it's just endless....

i'll be back up by the morning.

it's depressing is what it is.

i'm very frustrated.

it's my birthday. i'd like to focus. the stench is worse than i can remember it, but it...

it smells like a cross between sweaty ass, bad breath and skunk weed.

just fucking rank.

if there's one day of the year where it would be nice to be cold sober and read without having to deal with my neighbours' gross habits, i would hope it would be on my birthday. *sigh*.

i don't see any use in getting angry. he doesn't care, and he's dishonest. i'll just get into the shower a little after 19:00.

donald trump didn't shoot the plane down.

the fascist iranian regime shot the plane down.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/maple-leaf-foods-ceo-ps752-us-iran-1.5424530

i'd rather use serbia as a model than iraq.

if american troops stormed tehran, would the iranians treat them us liberators?

well, that seems unlikely.

but, american air power (precision strikes targeting the clerics, specifically) could conceivably create a tipping point that allows the protestors to seize power - that would be the ideal.

but, as mentioned, i wonder if they wouldn't be better off with a classic imperial deposition, via whatever carnage it necessitates.

it's worth remembering what the argument against the invasion of iraq actually was, on the left.

nobody argued it was immoral. nobody - on the left - argued it was costly. there was a scholarly argument against the legality of it, but the implication was that it would have been fine, if the united nations hadn't voted against it, which made it a sort of a red herring on the question of if it was actually justified. and, nobody argued in terms of cultural relativism, either, if you want to even imagine what that means, as applied to the baathist regime of saddam hussein.

rather, the argument was "we can't do it for them. they have to do it themselves.".

and, there was no movement on the ground in iraq, except a movement towards backwardsness. bush went on tv and argued that they'd treat us as liberators; smart people knew better.

the situation is reversed in iran. it is still true - they have to do it themselves. but, they're trying. i'd like to help.

do i think that iran is building a nuclear weapon?

the evidence i've seen suggests otherwise.

but, i don't think that this really has much to do with what's actually happening, and it doesn't have much of an effect on my support of or opposition to military action against them.

like, i'm not trying to take a side here.

i stand with the iranian people against the tyranny of the iranian state.

fwiw, i would also support military action for the purposes of regime change to secular democracy in saudi arabia.

i'm somewhere not far from hitchens on iran, if you want a reference. i disagreed with him about iraq, but this is a contextual thing - there was no serious opposition on the ground, and the bombing was punitive rather than productive.

i also opposed the action in libya (for similar reasons) and continue to oppose military action in syria (against assad, i mean. i supported the bombing of isis.).

but, i might have supported an invasion of iran in 2003, and i might support one tomorrow, or in 2023.

i don't think that governments should pretend they can determine what's "moral" and what isn't, but i would challenge the claim that military action against iran would be immoral.

the iranian regime is one of the most brutally vicious regimes on the planet, and has been for the entire extent of my lifetime. the oppression suffered by the iranian people since the 1979 counter-revolution has been worse than those suffered by almost any other people on earth.

i am an insurrectionary anarchist; i am in favour of struggle, of revolution. there is no place on earth where such a revolution is more justified than iran. there is no government anywhere that deserves to be torn down more than the one in iran.

and, no leftist would write off the oppression perpetuated by the iranian government by appeals to cultural relativism. the iranian people have spoken out about their hardships. to assign the iranian people a lesser concept of freedom, or a lesser concept of democracy, based on the tyrannical dictates and brutality of their existing ruling class would be blatantly racist. their women deserve the same rights as women everywhere else. their queers deserve the same rights as queers everywhere else. and, if you will not stand with them against the government and the religion that oppresses them, you have no reasonable claim to stand on the left - you are a reactionary liberal and must stand with the bourgeois rulers you sympathize with.

so, my solidarity is where it has always been - with the secular left in iran, the socialists, the atheists and those seeking to overthrow the totalitarian state.

i have nothing but disdain for those that would stand with the mullahs. you are on the wrong side of history. you will be struck down.

i know that probably comes off as selfish and spoiled, but it was really more of a control issue. as mentioned, the premise of being in a room with all of these people, and having them pay all this attention to you....if you're an extrovert (and sarah is extraordinarily extroverted), that probably sounds great. if you're the kind of severely introverted person that i am, it's actually a kind of a hellish proposition - beyond a chore, but actually a sort of a nightmare. 

so, coming face to face with the reality of needing to deal with everybody i know on short notice....i couldn't deal with it, psychologically. it was too much. i shut down, and stormed off.

there was one year when sarah tried to throw me a surprise party and i actually got really angry about it; i took it as an invasion of privacy, a betrayal of trust.

so, i refused to go. instead, i sat in my room by myself like i always did, and still always do. and, they had the party without me. 

it's probably the only birthday party i'll ever have.

i think the last time i had a birthday party was when i was about twelve years old.

and, while i realize this is unusual, i'm not particularly phased by it. 

but, am i getting fed up?

sure.

i might have to get something with a screen in it at a pawn shop.

i don't want to spend another second troubleshooting operating systems problems on this laptop.

i'll reformat twice a day, if i have to.

it's true that i haven't had a person in my life that i'd consider a friend in well over ten years, which is...i don't think that friendship is consistent with capitalism. what capitalism does is reduce friendship to a market relationship, a quid pro quo, and i don't have any interest in that. actual friendship cannot exist in a market society, it's impossible. so, i tend to avoid people, under the full understanding that they're just in it for themselves.

i'd like to meet some people that actually act and think like anarchists, but it's hard when the system pushes things down the way it does. the reality is that i don't really like hardly anybody.

so, i'm spending another birthday by myself, and it's true that i don't have any friends to spend it with. but, it's also true that i didn't actually celebrate birthdays when i did have friends.

if you ask the people that i've called friends in the past, i can't imagine that any of them will actually know when my birthday actually is, and the reason is that i've probably never actually told them. the exceptions would be some people that knew me when i was very young, and the single ex-girlfriend i have, from 15 years ago. i wouldn't expect anybody else that's known me to know, because i've never celebrated it.

why haven't i celebrated it? well, i've always thought it was kind of pompous. but, the real truth is that i was just that introverted. if the premise was that a birthday is my day, a day where i'm special, the last thing i'd want to do is bring people over to my house and entertain them. if it's my special day, then leave me the fuck alone, thank you.

but, i'll be 39 years old at just past midnight.

that means i've got 12 months left of being 30-something.

i was hoping that the machine would stay stable, but the bluescreen came back almost immediately. this chromebook simply doesn't have the software i need to do the things i do, and i wouldn't for a second think to leave my personal data in the cloud either (that's insane - i leave it on an external drive).

but, i have some show lookaheads to do while i'm reformatting. i should be multitasking, but if i can't then whatever....

k, so i'm back up on the laptop.

i'll need to check some loose ends before i get back online, clean some posts up and get back to what i was doing. which was...uh....

i was working on 12/2013. and listening. i was almost done...

i'm sorry.

i slept far too much. i think i'm awake...going to make some eggs, before i hit the shower...

i think the stripper we really want to see, though, is queen harriet.

if 'prince harry' was a handle for a gay stripper, you know what you'd get don't you?

that's a bear. clearly.

canadians are pretty welcoming to people that are claiming refugee status, which is abstractly the right concept, here.

we don't want to support a royal family.

we already have to support the trudeaus.

i'm not referring to anybody as prince anything, unless it's a stage name for a band or a handle for a gay stripper.

if harry...what is his last name, even?....harry windsor? harry wettin? 

if harry whatshisface and megan markle want to come to canada as private citizens and get jobs and pay taxes, then that is a question for immigration to ponder. i wouldn't imagine myself qualified to make a decision such as that.

but, as a canadian, i feel no particular attachment to the monarchy, and do not want to see the country placed in a situation where it needs to accommodate a bunch of aristocrats that appear to be being expelled from their aristocracy due to base racism. 

i mean, it's always sad when a family refuses to accept people because they're different, sure. and, like i say - it's up to immigration to rule on immigration claims. but, canada is not a colony of the british empire, and not an escape mechanism for feuds within the royal family.

so, that took a lot longer to rebuild than i want to see happen again. i was multitasking by sorting through shows...

i ran a full chkdsk this morning in addition to the reformat. i reinstalled. and, i copied the known good back over, with the updated files.

i'm going to take yet another nap, because i never really fully recovered from that event yesterday. then, i'm going to get something to eat and take a shower when i get up. and, if everything is fine, i should boot into a stable install that i intend to be on for the next several days. 

see, i'd like to give those protesters in iran some air support.

i know....it's overly simplistic.

but, i would.

https://www.tvo.org/article/were-not-tragically-hip-fans-and-yes-were-canadian

no.

i'll double down.

maybe you can't see yourself in the mirror. maybe you don't realize what you actually look like.

but, if you honestly think that gord fucking downie belongs on the $5 bill, you look a lot like bob and/or doug, or julian and/or ricky, to me.

that is what your average tragically hip fan was like - pickup truck driving, beer swilling, low iq, white bread retards.

or, maybe we can put julian & ricky on the $20.

the queen's almost dead, anyways.

fuck, why don't we just put julian's shot glass on the front, and a giant blunt on the back.

somebody needs to write a defence of laurier. he belongs there. these other clowns don't.

hey, after we put gord downey on the $5, maybe we can put bob on the loonie and doug on the toonie.

you fucking hosers.

laurier is probably the best leader that this country will ever have.

it will be a sad, backwards day in this country's history if you replace him on the five with an overrated rock star that wrote trite garbage and trafficked in the worst cliches imaginable.

i've still actually never heard of viola desmond, or know why she's on the bill, other than that she was black, and they wanted a black person on the bill.

wouldn't that be embarrassing..

i hate what this country has become. truly.

https://www.narcity.com/news/ca/canadas-five-dollar-bill-redesign-consultation-has-people-voting-for-gord-downie

i think laurier should stay on the bill.

but, i think mackenzie-king should have stayed on the $50, too.

they should take that piece of shit borden off the $100...

https://business.financialpost.com/news/economy/bank-of-canada-to-seek-nominations-for-who-should-be-on-the-new-5-bill

i was very, very tired.

i don't know if it had anything to do with the seizure/attack this afternoon. i'm still not feeling very good. 

pollution kills people. smoke = death. it's not required to make this argument again in this space. but, if i can't escape the smoke, i'm going to die from it....

the machine is reformatting one more time, i know this isn't final, but i'm hoping to at least avoid rebooting the machine for a long while.