yeah, i'm going to call on monday and cancel the fillings and insist on a cleaning, instead. i should have been more assertive about that - that's what i want.

i've had some difficulty articulating this because i'm never been through this before. it's not anxiety, exactly, it's more denial. he has a business model. it's how this society functions.

so, i essentially need for him to prove that i need a filling by cleaning my teeth first and showing it to me. so long as i have stains and plaque on my teeth (and i do.), i feel skeptical about the need for drilling. but, if he cleans my teeth for me first, and lets me get a better look at it, i'll be convinced that it's actually necessary - or not.

and, that will give me some time to try to bombard it with fluoride, which should start tomorrow.