tuesday, march 8, 2022

it is certainly interesting to see tara reade show up in the op-ed section of sputnik.

3:18

i always like drawing attention to pictures of representatives in the midst of conflicts, because you really do represent yourself with your appearance.

this is a shot of russian and ukrainian "delegations", pulled from russian media:

the russians are all wearing tailored suits, and look very business-like and professional; the ukrainian side seems to have been constructed by a kijiji ad seeking actors to play crazy uncles, and looks like it's dressed to live in a bomb shelter, to protect itself from imaginary threats imposed by a right-wing conspiracy theory. they couldn't even bother to shave.

you might suggest this is trite, but i'd strongly counter that - this is real, and this is what you're seeing: a corporation bombing a country that has collectively morphed into a bunch of fringe lunatics.

3:27

who wears a baseball cap to a meeting?

3:30

i want to see such a thing form - the crazy uncle ukrainian army.

insignia: CRUNK UA.

3:33

and, apparently, there are crazy uncles everywhere that are just dying to sign up, too.

3:35

crazy uncles of the world, unite!

you have nothing to lose but your canes.

3:40

you know all these crazy uncles have been waiting for this day, where they can go fight the ruskies, for their whole fucking lives, right?

3:42

fwiw, that article addresses a point about the russians opening humanitarian corridors directly to russia by accusing ukrainian militias, who are not under the command of the ukrainian army, of not obeying cease-fires. given the history of the fighting in the region, this is a believable accusation, but, even so, it's not the point.

in a situation like this, both armies want to be the ones that show up with water, first. most people have little understanding of what's really happening, and will align with the side that addresses their personal concerns. so, the russians want to be the ones that show up and distribute aid, and the french, particularly, are trying to get in and offer that aid, themselves.

that's a signal that some concept of rationality is returning to the russian command, which has been behaving uncharacteristically.

4:28

so, ukraine calls israel and asks them to mediate.

israel announces that it's willing to "provide refuge" for thousands of educated ukrainian jews.

hey, zelensky - how much for the shirt on your back?

8:34

nonono, let's understand what poland sending planes to ukraine is about.

1) it's been a while since poland bought new planes. i mean, they have planes.

2) it's surely understood that the russians will quickly bomb them out.

3) poland will therefore have to buy more planes.

4) poland gets massive us subsidies to buy planes.

5) us weapons contractors get a major contract to supply planes to poland.

this is what nato expansion actually seems to be about, and if it requires ukraine to get blown up, lockheed martin certainly doesn't give a fuck. the russians are really just giving them the pretext they need to force these countries to buy more weapons.

it's like a mafia-style extortion tactic, and this is how america keeps the region under domination.

it's not like the russians don't have grounds, here. but, they really seem to fundamentally not get it, because they're just not integrated into western finance capital. remember: putin isn't a communist or a fascist, he's actually a pretty textbook conservative. so, he predictably doesn't grasp debt.

23:58

wednesday, march  9, 2022

and, is canada going to get sucked into it, too?

well, you can be sure that those slimy salesmen from lockheed and raytheon will be knocking on rideau cottage's front door, and no doubt in plain view.

if i can vote on the matter, it will be to tell them to fuck off.

0:04

poland, particularly, is a victim of a classic mafia extortion tactic, as perpetrated by the west. 

and, will the west show up to protect poland?

i wouldn't sacrifice a single hair on my head to protect poland.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protection_racket

0:11

poland, particularly, is a victim of a classic mafia extortion tactic, as perpetrated by the west. 

and, will the west show up to protect poland?

i wouldn't sacrifice a single hair on my head to protect poland.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protection_racket

5:31

ok, i think i'm starting to get my head around what the russians are doing.

so, clearly there are russian forces in ukraine. but, what the russians are framing the situation as is that they are fighting not on their own behalf, but on the direction of the separatist movements. so, the russians have not occupied the south of ukraine; the newly independent region of the donbas has captured the south of ukraine, with russian logistical support.

so, then the russians sit the ukrainians down and say "recognize the donbas", but what that means is recognizing the donbas + the territorial expansion into the regions around the sea of azov, at least.

it's not entirely clear how they work this out, in the end. maybe russia takes an oblast or two, or maybe crimea even ends up in the new country.

but, the end result is a very cold-war like - think korea or vietnam - partition of the country into russian and european sections, each with their respective puppet governments.

8:22

i try to avoid making friends. i've learned hard lessons and realize i'm a little naive.

i like the idea of friendship, but friendship is fundamentally incompatible with market economics. capitalism makes friendship impossible and capitalism couldn't exist in a society where people understood class solidarity.

i adjust by keeping to myself and avoiding humans, but i don't blame us. i don't blame the biology. i don't think it's human nature. we're brainwashed by the system, and most of us don't really get it, but it makes it impossible to really trust anybody, and i don't. you have to maintain a certain level of paranoia in this culture in order to survive in it.

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/business/commentary/article-canada-trade-strategy-delusions-of-friendship/

have you noticed the little blonde girl in the photos of starving palestinians?

if seen some redheads in the pictures, too.

i'm not sure how to react to claims that the pictures are faked, but there are apparently claims that the photos were taken in germany by a pr company.

a pr company would do that, if they were trying to influence americans, and i know that because it's been done before. little blonde kids are more effective as propaganda. that's obvious.

i have no ability to ascertain what's real and what isn't. i can point out that the pictures look a little off.

here we go again.

i am almost out of everything - bell peppers, cheese, pineapple, broccoli, bread, etc. the last food bank visit was july 7/8/9.

this will be shifting directions somewhat.

- june 16th: doubled up salsa with chick peas, cheese, spices and vitamins.

- june 17th: onion soup bacon poutine

- june 18th: basic doritos nachos and french onon soup with bacon

- june 19th: doubled up salsa reprise

- june 20th: caesar salad without subs

- june 21st: 2nd onion soup poutine with onion soup and last chance salad

- june 22rd: 3rd onion soup poutine with onion soup with beets

- june 23rd: caesar salad without subs

- june 24th: caesar salad without subs

- june 25th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 26th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 27th: ad hoc pad thai

- june 28th: broccoli soup

- june 29th: fridge-clearing meal (oranges & garlic bread)

- june 30th: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 1st:    kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 2nd:  kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 3rd:  10 packages of instant oatmeal, in 5 installments. spaghetti-os + spices & vitamins (cumin, cayenne, pepper, oregano, paprika, sunflower seed, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, frank's).

- july 4th:  a can of stew and a can of corn, plus spices & vitamins.

- july 5th: a package of jasmine rice i had put aside as a quinoa sub (it probably isn't), with a can of peas and a can of tomato soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 6th: a can of beans cooked in a can of vegetable soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 7th:  two cans of chicken noodle soup, plus spices and vitamins. tim's xl double-double coffee in morning. two builders protein mini bars in evening. 7-11 coffee with jalapeno taquito late at night.

- july 8th: food bank junk food eat through - two bags of "real vegetable chips" (one big, one small), a bag of goldfish crackers, one mini crispy crunch, some strawberry licorice, prime energy drink, two tim horton's donuts, little ceasar's pepperoni pizza with unlabelled chocolate milk product.

- july 9th: another prime energy drink with another unlabelled chocolate milk product, unlabelled food bank ginger bread (two loaves)

- july 10th: pasta with minor subs (1), third energy drink, sour cream n cheddar chips

- july 11th: sour cream 'n' bacon, sour cream 'n' onion chips

- july 12th: more licorice, pasta with minor subs (2)

- july 13th: jalapeno cheddar chips, pasta with minor subs (3)

- july 14th: 10 baby cookies, pasta with minor subs (4)

- july 15th: i ate most of the 14th pasta on the 15th and followed it with the remaining baby cookies (which are actually french butter cookies, not baby cookies. they look like baby cookies). i did not make pasta for the 15th.

- july 16th:.  pasta with minor subs (5)

- july 17th:  pasta with minor subs (6)

- july 18th (on the 19th):  pasta with minor subs (7)

- july 19th (on the 20th): cereal (one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and an apple)

- july 20th (on the 21st): pasta with minor subs (8)

- july 21st (on the 22nd): pasta with minor subs (9)

- july 22nd: cereal day 2 in cycle 2 (final cycle 2 cereal day): one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and two apples, one in the oatmeal and one standalone.

- july 23rd: cereal day 1 in cycle 3

- july 24: pasta with minor subs (10)

- july 25: cereal day 2 in cycle 3, same as 22 and 23, with the addition of 6 mini apple sauce containers.

- july 26: pasta with minor subs (11)

- july 27th - guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white bread with plum better.

- july 28th: pasta with minor subs (12)

- july 29th: guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white toast with olive oil margarine, and then two pieces of white bread with plum butter after. four more pieces of white bread, with plum butter and strawberry jam. 

- july 30th: pasta with minor subs (13), including fried chicken for salami.

- july 31st: a larger piece of fried chicken alone. pasta with minor subs (14), including a mix of buffalo and chicken for salami. six pieces of white bread for peanut butter and strawberry jam.

- aug 1st: four pieces of white bread and the rest of the peanut butter. quinoa without subs (on aug 3rd).

- aug 2nd: four marshmallows, two bananas and a chocolate bar. quinoa without subs (on aug 3rd).

- aug 3rd: pasta with minor subs (15), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami (on aug 4th). two pieces of toasted italian bread.

- aug 4th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (on aug 5th)

- aug 5th: pasta with minor subs (16), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami. two pieces of toasted italian bread. (on aug 6th)

- aug 6th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn (on aug 7th).

- aug 7th: monterrey jack tuna salad melt with bowl of cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (on aug 8th).

- aug 8th: pasta with minor subs (17), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (on aug 9th)

- aug 9th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn wth cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (on aug 10th).

- aug 10th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (on aug 11th)

- aug 11th: pasta with minor subs (18), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (early on aug 12th)

- aug 12th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (at midnight on aug 13th)

- aug 13th: pasta with minor subs (19), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (early on aug 14th)

- aug 14th: potatoes with gravy, cheese, sour cream, bacon and dill (early on aug 15th)

- aug 15th: onion soup + side salad (as posted) (late on aug 15th)

- aug 16th: potatoes with gravy, cheese, sour cream, bacon and dill (early on aug 17th)

- aug 17th: onion soup (mid day on aug 17th) and side salad (as posted) with two pieces of toast (early on aug 18th)

- aug 18th: should be the last pasta with minor subs (20) before shifting direction

now that i'm stabilizing, i need to think carefully about tactics.

i've decided i need to make a decision by sept 1 at the latest as to how i'm getting out of here. it's very frustrating, because this apartment is potentially ideal for me. it's better than the previous space. it's big and it's relatively cheap and i like the location. i could potentially get a lot of work done here, but i can't shake these losers that are stalking me. they won't go away. they want to steal my belongings, and they're apparently trying to have sex with me, which i thoroughly and adamantly and vigorously reject. worse, i'm increasingly convinced that the police are directly involved as payback for what happened in 2018, and that i may be a victim of direct political persecution for my opinions, for my gender expression and for my refusal to do what i'm fucking told. i have fought the system and been generally successful, so the system broke all of the rules to retaliate against me, as any mafia entity would. we live in a free society so long as we don't try to be free in it. it's this kind of illusion that's just far enough in front of you that you can't touch it, and that evaporates as soon as you reach your arm out to try. i made the mistake of trying to be free, and the state is viciously punishing me for it.

i'm really just a completely harmless artist trying to live a free existence on a minimal subsidy, and that is the state's worst nightmare. our government will recognize terrorist groups as legitimate governing bodies, but as soon as you put somebody wanting to be free in front of it, it resorts to the worst and most oppressive tendencies of it's colonial past.

so what do i do? how do i adjust? how do i learn? how do i adapt? how do i survive? how do i get out of this?

i made a choice quite a while ago that i was going to focus on the writing in building the liner notes up from 1989-1996. that is the first priority, when i get back to work. maybe i don't need all of my gear directly accessible to me at all times, for right now. maybe i could put it back in storage while i wait for this mess to work itself out and just focus on the writing instead. it's $200/month. that's the same as the canada disability benefit, which is coming. i could use the disability benefit to pay to put my stuff in storage and rent a smaller place until i think the situation is safe to move back out, maybe to a different city. i strongly suspect that this would get rid of them, although it may take a little while for them to lose interest. 

i want to keep my options open for the next two weeks. if i don't find a way out by the first, i'm going to need to spend the first few days of september getting my stuff out to storage as a dominant priority, and focus on trying to find a smaller place to live to just write in, for now.

the only end to this situation will need to be to get these people arrested. it's the only solution. i have clear proof and the police are ignoring it. i don't know yet if this is due to incompetence, due to prejudice, due to laziness or due to corruption, or due to all four. however, if the police are directly involved, it could take a while to get to that endpoint and i may need to adjust to that. i may need to work around police to get to the crown to force them to make the arrest rather than with or through the police. the police are contributing to the problem, not contributing to the solution.

that would lead to me suing the police, and i'd have to take the cash from that lawsuit and use it to leave the city.

for tonight, i need to clean the space up a little, moisturize my face and let it sit, finish the documents i'm preparing for printing and then get back in the shower.

i don't think i've been drugged again with steroids, since i identified the hot sauce. something weird happened on the night of the 11th, but right now it doesn't seem like it was steroids. i'm suspicious that it might have been something else, like dopamine or noradrenaline. i also have elevated cortisol levels, and thought that was obvious, too, in addition to the elevated testosterone. i have from the very start suspected a drug of this nature, and only thought testosterone was involved later. i initially thought i was breathing in meth and then thought they were drugging me with mdma.

they may be drugging me with an evolving cocktail of drugs to get to a desired outcome. i might be the victim of some kind of nazi experiment.

i mentioned there was a weird issue on my face with ingrown vellus hairs. i do think this was triggered by the steroids, and i was having difficulty washing it off, but it wasn't accompanied by further or increased unwanted hair, it was just a complex of really brutal ingrowns i couldn't get out. it was very weird, as there was some kind of sticky substance being emitted from the ingrowns that was preventing any kind of soap from working and seemed similar to the sticky substance i couldn't get out of my hair, and which i think is testosterone in sweat.

i didn't have stomach hair, or prickly leg hair, or any of the other symptoms of being recently drugged. 

i ended up lathering my face over with salicylic acid three nights in a row and then taking a very long shower today, and it essentially burned my face off and took the ingrowns out with it, but now i need to heal. this is a complication of the previous drugging, not evidence of new drugging.

the evidence of new drugging is something i'd describe as a feeling of increased blood flow. i have not had this accompanied with any kind of discernible unwanted erection, except briefly while defecating. rather, i've woken up a couple of times since the 11th with what i might describe as noticing increased blood flow to the region while sleeping, and hearing people speaking to me in the process. this has left me flustered and agitated, because harassment is still harassment, even if it doesn't work. i want them to leave me alone. i'm sick and fucking tired of this. the more bothersome consequence is that i'm then experiencing something i believe is called persistent genital arousal disorder for about two hours after i wake up. i do not expect i'd be able to get any sort of erection while awake if i wanted to, if i tried, but the pgad is painful and annoying, nonetheless. it's this remnant tingling sensation that i want to go away and don't know how to get rid of. it passes a few hours after waking up.

there was the 30% priapism and 10 second erections that were clearly the result of being drugged. i woke up hard with the ten second erections, and that should be completely impossible, and the 30% priapism was some kind of viagra or something that didn't work but kept trying. what has been happening since the 11th is a two second experience that is described as experiencing some blood flow to the area as a result of the harassment, and generating pgad due to some other hormone (it might be the progesterone i'm taking myself, which is why i'm pausing) without creating anything i'd identify as any sort of discernible erection. it's maybe a 10% erection, at most, but numbers under 30% seem difficult to describe as an erection at all. it's noticeable blood flow generating annoying and painful arousal, but not generating any kind of male sexual response.

it's going to take a few more days to scrub the dead skin off of my face, and it's half my fault because i used the acid to burn the ingrowns off. i should be able to get out soon.

i only received one response to all of the ads i responded to, but it might be a good response.

i had previously tried to determine some connection between bowel movements, constipation and sexual arousal and couldn't find one. i tried again tonight and google returned an answer quite quickly.

there's a nerve called the pudendal nerve that's responsible for functions in the general area and a condition called pudendal nerve compression that may be caused by cycling. you can identify this with an mri.

i'm not there yet, and it would be an incomplete answer. i have already proved that i've been drugged, although i don't know by who and it's not entirely clear how. i am certain i'm being harassed while sleeping. however, i have been experiencing weird symptoms over the last few days that are not quite suggestive of having been drugged recently and seem a little bit unrealistic for lingering drugs remaining in my system. i have consistently tied these to my digestive symptom.

i don't think it's one or the other, i think it's both, but i'm holding off on the blood test, because neither answer seems to be quite right. i want to either get further proof i was drugged, perhaps in my foot, or i want a clean test.

in the future, if the government wants to immediately intervene in labour disputes, it should offer striking workers backpay or some other type of compensation as a condition to going back to work, made payable by the employer when an agreement is signed.

she would certainly be free to continue to post her opinions online in spaces that allow her to, just not as a public sector employee.

you can kind of have it one way or the other.

either the court treats it as a private sector issue, in which case it has no jurisdiction or the court treats it as a public sector issue, in which case the nurse needs to restrict herself from engaging in political activity online.

you can't have it both ways.

as a transgendered person, i don't really care about this person's opinion, and i don't feel threatened by their decision to expose their own ignorance in public. a correct free speech position is that you let the ignorant expose themselves, to their own detriment. i'm confident that her opinions are not going to help her in life. i'd be just as happy to essentially leave it at that, and ignore her.

however, this looks like a fairly complicated issue for the reason that the professional oversight body is actually a government agency. generally, government would avoid getting itself involved in a conflict like this, because the actual free speech and expression issue is the private sector body's ability to set professional standards. free speech, in context, belongs to both sides, and the woman would need to accept the consequences of her decision to run her mouth of. for government to intervene in any way would be to infringe the speech rights of one or both parties.

in this case, what the court is probably going to do is determine whether the superior court has any jurisdiction to intervene in the decisions made by the body and cite vavilov to decide that it doesn't. the current precedent in canada is that courts aren't supposed to intervene in decisions of this sort essentially at all. it's up to the regulatory body to decide it's own standards. but, i disagree with this, as it is a breakdown in the functioning of law, and think it is fundamentally legally wrong in almost all cases. it's probably the worst case law in canadian history, and will be remembered as a catastrophe when it's overturned.

i would rather point towards the general restriction on political activity (which is what this is) by members of the public service. public sector workers are not supposed to engage in political activity of any sort.

while it should be up the oversight body to set it's own standards, the legal question is whether her views are infringing on her ability to do her job, and i think there's a good argument that they probably are. i've dealt with heath workers that hold discriminatory attitudes and seen first hand how it can impede their ability to provide care. that is an issue of importance that needs to be taken seriously.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/amy-hamm-discipline-bc-nurse-1.7610933 

this is a symptom of the decadence of the liberal government.

this is the government's fault.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/video/2025/08/17/cupe-national-president-rips-ottawas-back-to-work-order/

i just noticed they made a new movie of the running man as an update of the 80s film.

that was one of my favourite short stories, as a kid. it's pretty creepy how closely it foreshadowed the more dystopian developments in capitalist mainstream culture after 2001.

i don't watch many films nowadays. i probably won't watch the new one.

if you get a chance, read the story. it's in a large compilation called the bachman books, which includes three other short stories, including once called the long walk, which is arguably a better version of the same story.

with every day, it becomes more and more clear 

trump is more clinton than clinton.

sing along.

i don't know why this is so complicated in canada.

the rental market is experiencing a market failure. when a sector has market failure, governments need to step in.

we need governments to build more apartments, not the private sector. this is obvious. the longer it takes for that to happen, the worse it will be.

the government has indicated it's moving on this, finally, and i hope it is, but it hasn't happened yet.

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/business/article-rental-apartment-construction-housing-developers-riocan-fitzrovia/

our government has made it clear that it doesn't respect the right to strike.

the workers need to ignore this order and challenge the state to respond with violence, and then react if it does. 

https://www.ctvnews.ca/business/article/jobs-minister-orders-air-canada-flight-attendants-back-to-work/

unfortunately, it seems as though the hostages taken by hamas are nearing total death. while this is unfortunate, it also signals the long overdue, final end of this sordid, twisted mess.

hamas has been absurdly holding on to hostages for almost two years in the delusion that they will negotiate sovereignty out of the process. israel is not going to give them that. as a result, the hostages are going to starve to death, if there are any still alive at all.

hamas had better expect that they will have hell to pay at that point. why would israel negotiate further with them at all? 

the next step, once the hostages are confirmed to be dead, will need to be complete annihilation. it must be. the only thing preventing it has been an attempt to exchange the hostages for leniency, out of pity. when that ceases, the only thing left to do is burn the remaining city down to the ground and bulldoze it into the sea.

hamas might want to think that through.

it's probably already too late, and they will need to face justice, as they deserve it.

i think donny's looking a little....

sleepy.

there's an age where you just can't do this kind of job, and americans need to stop electing people past it.

the coffee is starting to work.

i don't understand why people are having such difficulty with this. i suspect it's disingenuous.

let me explain again.

i am all of these monikers, screen names and pseudonyms, and many others, and have a long history on the internet going back to about 1996.

- inri (1996-1999)

- deathtokoalas (2006ish-)

- dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja, and varations (2008ish-)

- jessica amber murray (2008ish-)

- jessica murray (2008ish- )

- jessica parent (2008ish-)

- jason parent (1996-2008ish)

- the trivial group (2004ish-)

- lysistra

- the koala central command (2016-)

- the koala oversight committee (2022-)

- deny everything

- jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

- j

- jaysicka

- inanna

- tetris

all of the pictures are of me; i am the photographer and the model. all of the vlogs are recorded, directed, narrated and acted out by me. all of the music is composed, performed and produced by me. all of the writing, researching, editing, analysis, debate, fact checking, debunking and typesetting is mine. the opinions expressed are solely my own and do not reflect the opinions of anybody else, except where noted. all of the web design is by me. etc.

it's

all

me.

one person.

that's it. 

there is a project, rabit is wolf, that was formed in collaboration with another person, who recorded some vocal demos. while those vocal demos are still available, the vocal contributions were not used for the final recordings, and the individual was removed from the project in the end, which is now also composed, performed, produced and engineered strictly by me.

this is not complicated at all. it's easy, peazy.

it's me. all of it.

that is all.

i have been waking up fully limp recently, which is positive and indicates the drugs are out of my system. i'm also extremely exhausted, which i'm hoping is a good sign.

i meant to get out and do a number of things last week but couldn't get out anywhere because my hair is a mess and because it's taking longer than i thought to get the documents in order. i lost yesterday altogether due to sleeping, spent friday morning applying for apartments, slept a lot on thuesday morning after eating and after talking to my doctor on wednesday afternoon, spent wednesday morning organizing documents and spent tuesday in the shower, which didn't have the result i wanted.

i need to spend the morning in the shower so that i'm ready to get out to a showing today. i intend to get out to do things tomorrow, meaning i need to finish getting these documents in order.

it follows that this "5% welsh" is a difficult thing to connect to anywhere in the absence of clear genealogical direction. it makes sense to me that the original parent migrant to perce was probably a welsh or basque fisherman brought to the region by the fishing company, and their origins in europe are probably extremely humble, humble enough that they were content to marry the mikmaq woman.

there are medieval texts written by christian monks that document the migration of celtic speakers from spain to the british isles centuries before the romans arrived there and even further document the indo-european migration into spain itself, by documenting the original origin point of the celts as from scythia (ukraine). the celts of ireland and britain knew where they came from, but the christian monks vandalized and destroyed their indigenous history by filling it up with nonsense about adam and eve and noah's ark.

the modern dna evidence actually pretty convincingly demonstrates that the celts had a long concept of history and that the "pagan myths" kept as vandalized fairy tales by christian monks were actually startlingly accurate.

unfortunately, the romans thoroughly destroyed the celtic writing system (which we know now did in fact exist) during the celtic genocide, and they lost their history, their culture and their language and instead started speaking latin (to evolve into french, spanish and portugese) and then eventually germanic (in the form of english, dutch and dialects of german). only the welsh and irish (who migrated to scotland and separated into scottish in the historical period) survived. in later years, christians began disseminating the myth that there was no celtic history, and the celts never even developed writing, but the texts that were partially preserved by the christian monks, albeit in a vandalized state, clearly demonstrate the opposite.

i had unexpected east slavic ancestry pop up in my dna test. it was only 2%, but there's a large error bar and it could be a lot higher. i initially put the 2% east slavic and 3% jewish together to deduce that my dad might have had some ashkenazi jewish ancestry, which is something that seems intuitive because he does have some noticeable sicilian (1% in the test) and my grandfather was fairly dark skinned, but i couldn't find it in the genealogical records, which i found were fairly detailed. according to the genealogy, the parent family i'm from can be traced from ottawa to eastern ontario (from ottawa to montebello to hawkesbury and the farms around rigaud. i have genetic mutations that developed recently in that region.) to the island of montreal and up the st lawerence river to the gaspe peninsula and the town of perce, where there is a documented marriage between the first parent on record with a mikmaq female on a small island off the gaspe peninsula called bonadventure island, which is now a wildlife sanctuary. the house they lived in is actually still there and is a heritage site. these parents were fishermen for generations and seem to have had some relation with a large british empire corporate entity from the channel islands between britain and france that rented out locals to fish for them in order to take control of the catch from them. it was the channel islands corporation that owned the boats and rented them out for subsistence wages, and the employees had to hand everything over. this is a shitty existence. it is unknown where this parent came from, which indicates they were probably either a military person of navy ancestry or some kind of basque or welsh fisherman that showed up undocumented, and was maybe even imported by the channel islands entity. there is a larger 5% welsh ancestry that i also cannot clearly pinpoint, which is similar to basque ancestry. i believe i am challenging academic consensus by pointing out that the welsh origin myths indicate they migrated from spain, as a celtic speaking population, with apparent basque admixture, rather than the "continuation model" that anthropologists keep holding to, despite the dna continually proving it wrong, and won't let go of. it's apparently difficult to genetically distinguish the welsh from the basque. conversely, there were parents that migrated to canada from the united states after the american revolution, there were parents in the acadian region and there were parents in the british navy, including ones of high rank that held positions in india. in the 18th century, there were a large number of parents living in britain that were of original francophone ancestry, and there were still parents in france, but it was actually mostly a franco-norman british surname and not a french surname, at that time. the r1b mutation i have does trace back to austrian celts in the halstatt about 3000 years ago, but it likely came to me directly from welsh or basque ancestry, probably via spain in the distant past.

while this is what the geneaology says, i couldn't connect my dna to any other parents in the ancestry.com database. rather, my dna test indicated i'm related to a trudeau family from the montreal area, and presented all kinds of connections to all kinds of family members nobody in my immediate family had ever heard of. i looked into it a little further, and there may have been an adoption a few generations back around the area of montebello that was kept hush hush and not properly documented. the adopted individual was my paternal great grandfather, who seems to have been descended from the parents on the female side and not on the male side. the person that my paternal great grandfather called his father was probably actually his uncle, while his real mother was his uncle's sister, who died young, and his genetic father isn't documented.

i did pick up substantive clovis ancestry, and that does seem to be the answer to my grandfather's skin tone and curly hair, not something middle eastern. this could be explained by the linkage to perce through the female side.

i was rather able to tie the 3% jewish to an apparent sephardic ancestor on my mother's side that migrated from spain to philadephia in the 18th century, moved to new orleans and married a french woman, then ran away to california to join the gold rush and eventually ended up in the gold rush in the yukon and bc. there may be other jewish ancestors picked up along the path from philadelphia to vancouver, but the one is abundantly clear, as there's actually a jewish legal opinion against him for treating his wife poorly. my mother is very scandinavian on both sides, but looks pretty jewish for a scandinavian. she's dark haired, but her sisters are blonde; both her and her sisters have these gigantic noses, which are noticeable and stand out in what are otherwise very good looking swedish women. they had no idea, and would probably not accept it, but that seems to be where the 3% actually comes from. i don't have dna from my mother, but i have dna from her half-sister that my maternal grandfather fathered out of wedlock, and it is about 20% jewish, apparently mostly or entirely from my maternal grandfather, who may have been as much as half to a quarter jewish. i'd suspect my mother would test at least 10% jewish, but the error bars on these test are very wide and the results cannot be determined with clear accuracy. they will give you a percent, but you should read it in binary computer logic - as yes or no.

so, if the 3% jewish is sephardic, what about the 2% east slavic? the answer is i don't know. it's not clear.

my mother has finnish ancestry, but it's from the part of finland that was developed as a swedish colony. she doesn't have continental finnish or russian ancestry. my mostly finnish grandmother actually looked startlingly like ursula von der leyen, who wears her hair the same way my grandmother did. it's uncanny. trying to establish some kind of russian ancestry there is tentative and probably dubious.

rather, my father's grandfather's name was stanislav parent. i don't know if he liked chopin, but that is a name common in the franco-polish community. it seems more likely that my east slavic comes from the poorly documented adoption and that stanislav's undocumented father seems to be where the links to the montreal area trudeau family originate and the link to the russian or east slavic ancestor.

i did not see any connections to the canadian political dynasty and do not know if there's any relation, but  doubt it. i actually don't think justin trudeau is descended from pierre trudeau anyways. i actually suspect his real father was the british aga khan that died this year.

all of this is to say that i'm not russian and am not quite a russophile. i'm perhaps a pseudo-russophile. it is more accurate to state i am a pan-slavist, and that i recognize that moscow is the most logical vehicle to implement pan-slavism.

i find the premise of both polish and ukrainian nationalism to be petty and trivial and wouldn't have a lot of patience for it if i were a citizen of eastern europe. i wouldn't see where that gets anybody.

i remember trying to explain to people around 2002ish, and still moving into about 2005 or 2006ish, that the cold war was a charade and we've been allied with the nazis in trying to wipe out the slavs the whole time. absolutely no attention has been paid in the west to the fact that ukraine is being run by a non-slavic cabal killing slavs by the thousand per day. zelensky doesn't seem to be concerned about the genocide against ethnic slavic ukrainians that he's carrying out in world war one style trench warfare slaughter, and only the russian state media, which our western governments have censored, has drawn any attention to the fact that this slavic genocide is directly from nazi government policy. it's the ukrainians that are dying, on the order of their own government.

now, the europeans want to occupy the region that they're in the process of depopulating and putin is supposed to say "ok".

exactly.

do you know what people told me at the time, in the 00s, when i told them that we were on the brink of a war with russia? they told me that the propaganda in western media would have to ramp up to impossible levels to get us to hate russia again. they told me communism was over and we'd never go back to the cold war.

exactly.

after being trained to for years by movies and tv and print, how much do you hate russia now in 2025?

i don't know what's coming after trump, but it's clear he's an anomaly. the russians need to try to change the narrative while they can.

what do i think happened today in alaska?

listen to the longer remarks by putin. he talked about times when the russians and americans were allied, drawing particular attention to lend-lease during world war two. putin was always an enthusiastic participant in world war two memorials. he always understood and valued america's role in helping russia defeat nazism, and he was always vocal about it.

i think that they didn't talk much about ukraine at all. i think that the meeting was more about increased trade between russia and america, as carried out over the bering strait. i suspect they may have discussed technology transfers and weapons sales.

trump doesn't speak for ukraine and doesn't want to speak for ukraine. he's not at war with russia and doesn't want to be at war with russia. he wants to get better trade deals for the united states, including a better trade deal with russia.

the belligerent approach by the europeans is strongly reminiscent of nazi expansionism and it dispenses with the ideological divisions of the cold war as illusory. what the europeans really wanted during the cold war was lebensraum. 

the russians will need to work out their differences with the europeans unilaterally.

i'm having a lighter meal tonight of soup (the rest of the gravy) and a salad composed of some loose ingredients.

soup:

- rest of gravy

- two strips of bacon

- chunks of monterrey jack

- two pieces of brown bread

- dill

- hemp seed

- frank's <---homemade

- pepper

- nutritional yeast

salad:

- orange pepper

- carrot

- beet

- garlic

- broccoli

- dill

- oregano

- hemp seeds

- sunflower seeds

- nutritional yeast

- cheddar cheese

- caesar

i'm not a vlogger. i don't want to make vlogs as a primary use of my time. i'm a musician, and i'd rather write than make vlogs; i prefer blogging, as a means of expression. the vlogs were meant as commercials for the masses, not as something i have any actual interest in actually doing for it's own sake.

the vlogging didn't end exactly in 2020, it just slowed down. there are vlogs from 2020, 2021 and 2022, but not every day. it almost completely stops in 2023 and i haven't done any vlogging at all in quite a while.

i don't want to bury it, but it's probably done with.

it just didn't work the way i wanted it to, and it's an extremely time consuming waste of energy.

what i found with the vlogs was that i was able to generate a lot of traffic, and i was able to get "subscribers", whatever that means, but it didn't generate any sales at bandcamp. i'd get hundreds of views and streams and gain nothing from it. i did not want to "monetize" my vlogs by putting ads on them, as i was not trying to sell my vlogs, i was trying to sell my music. 

i don't respect people that live off of ad revenue. it's contemptible. it's an insult to art.

my refusal to use google's products the way they're intended to be used (by buying ads) got me shadowbanned, in the end. the result is that these accounts are actually useless, so the people trying to steal them don't really get it. what shadowbanning actually means - and it's a term that's apparently been used incorrectly by idiots - is that only you can see your own posts, and you can only see your own posts when you're logged in.

what that meant is that i could go to a youtube video and post something, but nobody could see the posts except me, and only when i'm logged in. the reason is that i was successfully generating traffic to my bandcamp site by posting on youtube, instead of buying ads. i was breaking their model. they shut me down.

i then spent a long time archiving my youtube conversations on blogger and i've been posting here ever since. they don't bother me here because nobody comes here.

whatever perception may exist about the utility of my vlogs to make money would be entirely false. let me clarify.

1) i did not make any money from vlogging. at all. google has never sent me a cent. google did not make any money, either. there's no ads on the vlogs.

2) i have sold about a dozen albums on bandcamp that would have been sourced from youtube traffic, and none in many years. my last sale on bandcamp was in 2018.

3) my youtube accounts are shadowbanned, which means nobody can see what i post on youtube, and that's why i post it here instead, where it isn't moderated.

if this phony fraudster loser actually succeeded in stealing my accounts, they wouldn't gain anything of value to anybody except me. they'd have control of my writing, and be the target of censors and google bots out to shut them down for breaking their model.

i need to be clear: google saw me as a serious threat. they really aggressively shut me down. i can post here, and there's nothing else left on the web like blogger that lets people just type like there used to be, but i can't use their other products.

that is why i'm trying to get everything off line and to a personal storage space, once i get my living situation and my hormones back in normal order. all of this bullshit is just a waste of time.

the purpose of the vlogs was to be a gigantic commercial or infomercial for my bandcamp site.

it was a failed attempt at viral marketing.

it's come to my attention that there is somebody that is claiming to have "directed" my vlog, which i uploaded to youtube from 2015-2017 and is available here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCinQSeEtF0vSN1XVhQGfwKA

there are remaining unpublished vlogs from 2017-2020. i stopped vlogging at the start of the pandemic and have not restarted.

there is no "director" involved in the blog, and i am not an actor. it should be relatively obvious that i am filming my life as it occurs, and i am filming myself using a handheld camera. the only director is myself, and i am the only actor involved.

anybody claiming otherwise is lying, with the apparent attempt to take credit for something they had nothing to do with, under the perception it will make them money, although i'm not sure how. the reason i stopped bothering with the vlogs is that they were entirely useless as marketing my music, which is what they were intended to do.

the fact that europe bafflingly continues to insist on it's intention to use an occupation force in ukraine as some kind of answer to the conflict, rather than the cause of it, indicates there is no possibility of success in alaska.

putin has been insisting on meeting the us president for years, because he thinks it's running the ukrainian military. this is half based on probably correct analyses that nato has been directly involved from the start (there has been a substantive canadian troop presence in ukraine since well before the war, and the british are providing clear tactical support) and half idiosyncratic russian paranoia, which we saw in many russian leaders before stalin. he won't talk to zelensky. just getting the meeting is a win for putin.

i think the best case outcome is that putin wakes up a little from the experience and realizes that this war really isn't being directed from washington and he's going to need to deal with the facts on the ground.

but the european proposals clearly indicate that they have no interest in peace and want the war to continue. so, it will.

i want to clarify a subtle point i may not have clarified well enough.

the data i posted said 93% of the total area burned was caused by lightning, and only 7% was caused by humans. this is a kind of qualitative stat that has been quantified. i am familiar with the fact that governments have been arguing for years - and i have no reason to think this is incorrect - that the vast majority of fires, when counted irrespective of size or intensity, are caused by humans. i think the gay american fire mascot even told us this, as far back as the 80s. it is probably true.

the issue in front of us is all of this smoke, so i picked the qualitative metric because i realized it was more relevant. the type of wildfires caused by humans tend to be where humans go and are therefore easier to catch and stop. that doesn't mean they aren't serious problems, but they aren't what's causing the wildfire smoke, or these record wildfire seasons. the dramatic spikes in areas burned are directly related to lightning strikes starting fires in remote areas that are hotter and drier than they used to be. it's the change in climate that is causing the increase in smoke, not direct human activity in the forest.

the gay fire mascot is still right. most fires, when added up irrespective of damage and intensity, are caused by humans. you should still be responsible in the forest.

it's just that this isn't the same issue, and thinking it is the same issue is fundamentally not getting it, and it is that point of not getting it that i was trying to address and correct.

no. this is the most ridiculously entitled, bourgeois thing i've ever heard.

air canada should go to court and get this absurd law struck down as unconstitutional.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/business/article/if-air-canada-cancels-your-flight-dont-accept-a-refund-passenger-rights-expert-says/

activists concerned about the well being of palestinians in the west bank should be supporting annexation and trying to start a civil rights movement for palestinians within israel.

ok. i think some headlines got changed, and the canada part got cut. i don't know how the nhs sets drug prices.

it's not clear what this even means.

there is a regulatory body that sets drug prices in canada by comparing the prices in a small number of oecd countries. it is not a free market mechanism. eli lilly doesn't set the price, the government does.

in fact, the biggest reason that drug prices in canada (for patents) are so high is that they are so high in the united states.

generics are set at a fixed percent of the brand price.

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2025/aug/14/eli-lilly-uk-price-weight-loss-jab-mounjaro-trump

the public service in this country is not too big, it's too small. services are woefully inefficient. they need more staff to reduce wait times.

if carney is insistent on wasting money on tanks, and doesn't want to go into debt, he should pay for it by increasing taxes on the people that voted for him.

this is not trump's fault.

we did this to ourselves.

https://globalnews.ca/news/11334934/metro-grocery-prices-donald-trump-tariffs/

labour action is an expected and normal consequence of inflation.

you gotta pay your staff fair wages, air canada. they can't be expected to eat your losses.

i woke up n the afternoon, and i spent all day and night applying for apartments. i stopped around midnight to put some salicylic acid on my face, which is currently cleansing my pores out. now i'm eating throgh the potatoes i got from the food bank.

i have white potatoes instead of red potatoes but i'm making the same meal tonight.

- fill up a pot of potatoes with cold water

- bring to a boil

- let sit for fifteen minutes

- take each out to a plate, chop in half or four

- dump into a large serving bowl

they're cooked; kind of mashy, but they're red potatoes. i've had these before, at dinners like christmas or thanksgiving.

- dump margarine on the potatoes

- dump sour cream on that

- add a chopped avocado i do not have avocado, but i have orange pepper. i used up the rest of it, about 100 g.

- add a tbsp of hemp seeds

- add some fresh dill

- add ceasar

- add nutritional yeast

- mix

meanwhile, fry up five strips of bacon and add four ox cubes to three cups of water, and dissolve. wait.

- grate about 200 g of mozzarella and dump it in (i added an extra 50 g of jalapeno monterrey jack)

- mix it up

- turn heat off the gravy and let sit. stir occasionally while waiting for bacon to finish.

- chop bacon and add

 - add gravy

- add pepper

- add frank's  <---homemade

that extra $200/month is going to potentially be the difference i need to get an apartment i actually want. the $1200-1400 range is opening up the kind of highrise with decent flooring that i'd rather be in. and rents are coming down.

if i can put this off for long enough to get the check....

i'm not sure i can. i want to aim for sept 1st, if i can.

i'm not joking when i point out that canada is desertifying.

if you want to know what the canadian boreal forest is going to look like very, very soon just look to the immediate south, in montana, wyoming and the dakotas. it's half desert.

the only thing currently preventing canada from looking like the us badlands is the snow. you take away the snow, you get the same thing.

conversely, wyoming is going to look like death valley in 20-30 years.

this is exactly what elon musk did.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/article/canadian-government-plans-to-reduce-size-of-public-service-through-attrition-lightbound/

in fact, the ndp's position on israel, and the canadin position in general, is entirely consistent with the position they are taking in regards to the cowichan ruling in bc - in both cases, the government of canada stands with the colonizing power (the arabs or the english) and denies the right of the indigenous groups in canada and israel to reclaim their ancestral land, which belongs to them. in israel, they are doing it by force because they can. in canada, they are using legal systems to reclaim their land peacefully, also because they can.

there's a reason for this common pro-colonial position across the spectrum in canada, and it is because canada is a colonial society and a colonial state, and is perhaps the last of it's kind. america has completely lost any connection to it's settler-colonial past.

the issue is different in europe, where the positions being taken are more explicitly anti-jewish than pro-palestine, and it comes out of centuries of scapegoating jews. europe is on the brink of a major war and a potential depression. of course, it's ze jews' fault. always. never fails.

the palestinians are colonized hebrews, and what i'm trying to get across is that they are not too colonized to know their own history.

they know they're hebrews.

this is an open secret.

anybody from the region, and anybody who has spent any time studying it or reading about it, knows this.

the palestinians are hebrews. it was obvious before there was science that could prove it. then, the science proved the obvious.

https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/most-palestinians-are-descendants-of-jews/

what i would like to see happen is for the majority of palestinians, particularly in the west bank, to reclaim their ancestry and identity and re-become jews. that is the answer to the demographic problem: convert the palestinians to judaism. the science is clear that they're descended from the hebrews more than the arabs.

gaza should be returned to egypt, and egypt is going to need to accept it.

lebanon and parts of syria (which is a failed state that should be dismantled), including kurdistan, should explore ways to unite in a confederation with israel, to create something like a united states of the levant. this state should be secular in character, democratic and define itself as not arab. it should exist in alliance with the west, as a counter-balance to the oriental despotism in the arab world.

ok.

so, let's get this over with, then, put the idea of palestinian statehood in the dung-heap of history, and move on to more pragmatic, realistic and useful ways to establish equal rights for all inhabitants in the region.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/world/israel-hamas-war/article/israel-announces-west-bank-settlement-that-rights-groups-say-could-imperil-palestinian-state/

ok.

i slept limp, but i'm pissing something out. 

it could potentially be progesterone.

i need to either be confident i'll get a clean result or sure i've been drugged in order to get tested again and neither are currently the case.

there's a reason they're reaching out to east africa, and it's because it's what the arabs are telling them to do.

and, i mean, it's true. palestinians are often quite black. they don't look like the other people from the area.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/us-israel-africa-palestinians-gaza-1.7483527

something that westerners don't understand about the palestinians is that the other countries around israel are what is actually keeping gaza locked up, because every other country in the region wants to prevent palestinian migration. i'm keying on egypt, but the saudis are notoriously brutal about this, as are the turks. why do you think the arab sunni palestinians became a proxy of the shi'ite iranians?

why is that?

1. the palestinians are a radicalized population, and the other countries don't want them to destabilize their own countries. if you think an israeli jail is bad, try an egyptian jail. these absurd chants you are repeating like useful idiots are in truth the chains that enslave gaza and prevent them from leaving.

2. the palestinians are a poor population with minimal access to education, which is why they're so radicalized. they are not ideal immigrants.

3. racism. it is widely understood that the palestinians are about 50% hebrew and 30% subsaharan african, as descendants of african slaves brought into the region from the arab slave trade. there are other groups that have occupied the region and contributed to the racial mix, including turks and greeks. they in truth have minimal arab admixture, and weren't even muslims until the collapse of the last crusades in the 15th century, when the muslim rulers decided to convert the remaining christians by force.

it's hard to make sense of the idea of deporting palestinians to sudan on first glance as anything other than a cynical joke, which i take it is what it actually is. but there's reasons why these people can't get out of this mess and resettle in the sinai, or on the red sea. the saudis have a massive port investment on the red sea. why not let palestinians migrate?

because they're not seen as arabs, they're seen as jews, or as africans.

there is some logic in resettling palestinians in yemen. that would coincide with the racial prejudices against them in the arab upper class.

i posted update 5 around 20:30 on aug 11th, with the intent to get out on the 12th. i then fell asleep around 21:00 and woke up about an hour later. 

i noted a weird event at the time, which was three damp spaces on my bed. these damp spaces were still there hours later, which is unusual. i drool a little when i sleep. i might sweat. it tends to evaporate pretty fast. this took all night to lift. there was also feces loose in my rectum, which is an odd observation.

later, on the afternoon of the 13th, i noted one of the pins on my front door seemed lose.

i am taking note of effects. there are none yet, but i may need to change my approach if any develop. if they got in here to drug my anally, i will need to get to the blood lab to measure it.

i decided to finish washing my face first and then get in the shower. i made some coffee. this took a little longer than intended, to the point where i had to stop to eat first, and then actually fell asleep. i woke up late in the morning, and went right into the shower, which didn't work out as intended. i eventually realized i'd need to do another round of hair washing before i could go anywhere. so, i got out and made some bread, and then slept a bit more. i woke up around 23:00 to make some eggs and was awake all night, but instead of washing i spent the night on the computer preparing documents for the printer. i also applied for some apartments, which i would describe as testing the market. i got a lot done and am far more ready to get to the printer than i was before.

i will note there was a large plume of marijuana consumed in the house around 7:30. i slept briefly around 10:00 and had a phone appointment at 13:00, where i got canada disability forms filled out. this will increase my income by $200/month, which is substantive when you're poor. i slept again in the afternoon.

i woke up around 16:00 and realized i need to wash my face off a bit more, as there has been further vellus hair growth and a number of weird ingrowns i had to try to scrape over. i was unusually hungry. i noticed a strange mark on my ankle, after having cramps in my foot the previous day. i had some stomach pains, so i took some tums. i also passed a large bowel movement. i feel asleep again around 21:00 and woke up mildly agitated close to 22:30.

i would not describe this as anything close to an erection, and it didn't last more than two seconds, but it created noticeable agitation that continued after urination, albeit not for very long. there are no symptoms of priapism; i am in fact totally limp, as i should be. it could be because i burned some remnant steroids in fat after not eating for over 20 hours, but the series of weird observations over the last two days needs to be documented. my feeling is that this is something more along the lines of what happens when they harass me (try to condition me when sleeping) without drugging me, which is marginal to entirely ineffective, depending on a variety of factors. my body is reacting in certain ways without demonstrating effects oof the absent testosterone.

if i am wrong, i will adjust. i am not advancing a theory. i think kant was a moron. i am trying to analyze evidence to understand what is happening, because i think empiricism and the scientific method is superior as epistemology to theory and hypothesis.

i'm going to update this before i make some pasta, and then get in the shower for another round of hair washing. if this hair washing round is successful in getting the sweat out of my hair and washing the hair through, i should be able to get out tomorrow.

- june 16th: doubled up salsa with chick peas, cheese, spices and vitamins.

- june 17th: onion soup bacon poutine

- june 18th: basic doritos nachos and french onon soup with bacon

- june 19th: doubled up salsa reprise

- june 20th: caesar salad without subs

- june 21st: 2nd onion soup poutine with onion soup and last chance salad

- june 22rd: 3rd onion soup poutine with onion soup with beets

- june 23rd: caesar salad without subs

- june 24th: caesar salad without subs

- june 25th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 26th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 27th: ad hoc pad thai

- june 28th: broccoli soup

- june 29th: fridge-clearing meal (oranges & garlic bread)

- june 30th: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 1st:    kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 2nd:  kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 3rd:  10 packages of instant oatmeal, in 5 installments. spaghetti-os + spices & vitamins (cumin, cayenne, pepper, oregano, paprika, sunflower seed, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, frank's).

- july 4th:  a can of stew and a can of corn, plus spices & vitamins.

- july 5th: a package of jasmine rice i had put aside as a quinoa sub (it probably isn't), with a can of peas and a can of tomato soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 6th: a can of beans cooked in a can of vegetable soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 7th:  two cans of chicken noodle soup, plus spices and vitamins. tim's xl double-double coffee in morning. two builders protein mini bars in evening. 7-11 coffee with jalapeno taquito late at night.

- july 8th: food bank junk food eat through - two bags of "real vegetable chips" (one big, one small), a bag of goldfish crackers, one mini crispy crunch, some strawberry licorice, prime energy drink, two tim horton's donuts, little ceasar's pepperoni pizza with unlabelled chocolate milk product.

- july 9th: another prime energy drink with another unlabelled chocolate milk product, unlabelled food bank ginger bread (two loaves)

- july 10th: pasta with minor subs (1), third energy drink, sour cream n cheddar chips

- july 11th: sour cream 'n' bacon, sour cream 'n' onion chips

- july 12th: more licorice, pasta with minor subs (2)

- july 13th: jalapeno cheddar chips, pasta with minor subs (3)

- july 14th: 10 baby cookies, pasta with minor subs (4)

- july 15th: i ate most of the 14th pasta on the 15th and followed it with the remaining baby cookies (which are actually french butter cookies, not baby cookies. they look like baby cookies). i did not make pasta for the 15th.

- july 16th:.  pasta with minor subs (5)

- july 17th:  pasta with minor subs (6)

- july 18th (on the 19th):  pasta with minor subs (7)

- july 19th (on the 20th): cereal (one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and an apple)

- july 20th (on the 21st): pasta with minor subs (8)

- july 21st (on the 22nd): pasta with minor subs (9)

- july 22nd: cereal day 2 in cycle 2 (final cycle 2 cereal day): one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and two apples, one in the oatmeal and one standalone.

- july 23rd: cereal day 1 in cycle 3

- july 24: pasta with minor subs (10)

- july 25: cereal day 2 in cycle 3, same as 22 and 23, with the addition of 6 mini apple sauce containers.

- july 26: pasta with minor subs (11)

- july 27th - guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white bread with plum better.

- july 28th: pasta with minor subs (12)

- july 29th: guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white toast with olive oil margarine, and then two pieces of white bread with plum butter after. four more pieces of white bread, with plum butter and strawberry jam. 

- july 30th: pasta with minor subs (13), including fried chicken for salami.

- july 31st: a larger piece of fried chicken alone. pasta with minor subs (14), including a mix of buffalo and chicken for salami. six pieces of white bread for peanut butter and strawberry jam.

- aug 1st: four pieces of white bread and the rest of the peanut butter. quinoa without subs (on aug 3rd).

- aug 2nd: four marshmallows, two bananas and a chocolate bar. quinoa without subs (on aug 3rd).

- aug 3rd: pasta with minor subs (15), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami (on aug 4th). two pieces of toasted italian bread.

- aug 4th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (on aug 5th)

- aug 5th: pasta with minor subs (16), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami. two pieces of toasted italian bread. (on aug 6th)

- aug 6th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn (on aug 7th).

- aug 7th: monterrey jack tuna salad melt with bowl of cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (on aug 8th).

- aug 8th: pasta with minor subs (17), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (on aug 9th)

- aug 9th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn wth cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (on aug 10th).

- aug 10th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (on aug 11th)

- aug 11th: pasta with minor subs (18), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (early on aug 12th)

- aug 12th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (at midnight on aug 13th)

- aug 13th: pasta with minor subs (19), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (early on aug 14th)

if the position of the bc ndp is bafflingly going to be to oppose the landmark indigenous rights decision in bc because it's concerned about property rights for transnational corporations and bourgeois property owners, i want to see ndp activists show up outside the attorney generals office and chant "property is theft!" until the woman resigns and they reverse course.

the court has shown that property is impossible.

that is a wonderful ruling that the ndp should celebrate.

i want to point out that i'm again in sort of desperate need of aid. 

the stalkers have followed me here, and i'm trying to get them arrested, but it's become increasingly clear that i'm up against more than a couple of random losers. there are some things that are clear, and some things i'm left to guess. the involvement of the police is pretty blatant at this point; the courts are behaving strangely, and that points fingers towards the provincial government. i appear to have walked into a trap that was designed as one.

i have limited resources as it is, and i don't enjoy competitive people or competitive behaviour. life is so short. who wants to waste it fighting and winning? i have better things to do.

but it was one thing when i was fighting with a shithead landlord, and another when i'm trying to evade the landlord, the police and possibly even the government. all i want is a safe space to be free, to work on my art. i don't care about capitalism. i don't care about wealth. i don't care about labour. i don't care about class. those are all wastes of time that don't matter. i care about art. i care about freedom.

there's a paypal donation button on the side.

you could also download some or all of my music by perusing through my bandcamp archive,

https://inrirecords.bandcamp.com/

i'm not sure what the best way to get out of here or how to respond is yet.

my first priority was restabilizing my hormones and cleaning myself back up.

i may be seeking to get out of here by signing a lease for sept 1 and just fleeing if i can. the market is mildly better. i have barely enough, but it's going to be hard. any minimal donations would help me escape.

i've learned that i need to avoid certain types of properties. the safest place for me to find is the bottom of a duplex, like i had before, where the top is occupied by the owner of the property. further, i need to avoid trying to cohabit with muslims, as the cult is their priority, and they are all in kahoots with each other.

these lessons can help me maximize the likelihood of finding a stable place that will prevent me from needing to move again, but i need to take it one space at a time.

right now, i need to get away from the stalkers and i need to get this past the corrupt cops and try to get it in front of a judge.

i intended to get out today, but my hair is worse than i thought, and it clogged up the rest of the day, in terms of finishing documents. i'm still hoping to get out in the morning.

i had this weird complex develop on my right cheek that i'm struggling to understand but appears to have been a five inch long ingrown vellus hair that somehow weaved itself a complex, twisted pattern into the side of my face just far enough under my skin that it itches, but i can't get it out. it would be an effective method of torture, if somebody could patent and reproduce it. what i'm getting is this heaving of pus and dead skin that is like stapled onto my cheek by the hair. when it comes off, it's going to look like somebody waxed the side of my face off.

but what i'm learning in trying to deal with this is that all of the follicles are dead. vellus hairs are what happens when follicles die. as annoying as this is, it is actually going to help me in the long run.

these disgusting freaks have drugged me to the point that it's actually chemically completed the electrolysis i left 80% finished in 2002. when a follicle is dead, the next step after vellus hair is cessation. by repeatedly drugging me and forcing me to pluck it out, they have helped me damage the roots to the point where i can bring that 20% to cessation. their filthy drugs are just going to stop working altogether, soon.

i need to do some typing this morning and get everything put together first, before i get ready to go out in the morning or perhaps afternoon.

the issue with my hair is that it's clumped up and frizzy, which is normal for me for a few washes after a bleach, but it's being made wore by the drugs they're putting in my food. it needs another rigorous shampoo to stop it from bunching up, which is gross.

it's a little further than i thought.

There were about ~6,700 reported wildfire ignitions in 2023, which represents—surprisingly— a lower

number than the average of about 8,000 wildfires per year (Hanes et al. 2019). Lightning ignited 59% of

the wildfires and lightning-caused wildfires accounted for 93% of the total area burned (long-term

average = 91%) (Hanes et al. 2019). Lightning storms that caused multiple simultaneous ignitions that are

beyond initial attack capacity led to several large fires, some of which eventually coalesced. Lightning

fires that started on four days, May 13th, May 27th , June 1st and July 5th, were responsible for 30% of

the total annual area burned. Interestingly, 2023 had the third lowest overall lightning detections since

1998. The lightning-ignition efficiency was high due to extensive areas of dry, receptive ground fuels

coinciding with the specific timing and location of lightning events (Rao et al. 2023), a phenomenon that

is expected to increase as a function of the ongoing warming and drying (Hessilt et al. 2022). Although

they are responsible for a comparatively low proportion of the total area burned (7%), human-caused

ignitions were numerous early in the season, before the greening of vegetation and the prevalence of

lightning storms (Parisien et al. 2023). Many of these, notably in Alberta, burned for months and caused

evacuations of communities. Yet, it is difficult to confidently assign a human cause to some fires due to

ongoing investigations and the eventual intermingling of individual fires with multiple ignition sources in

large wildfire complexes.

https://essopenarchive.org/doi/full/10.22541/essoar.170914412.27504349/v1

most of the wildfires in canada are starting in remote regions, which is why they burn so badly - we don't even know they're burning until they get out of control.

Lighting strikes become more frequent as the climate warms (McKabe 2023). Ninety-three per cent of the area burned in Canada in 2023 was from fires ignited by lightning; only 7 per cent by human-ignition (Jain et al. 2024).

https://climateinstitute.ca/news/fact-sheet-wildfires/

i agree that this law is overly broad and should be struck down by the court.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/n-s-man-purposely-violates-ban-on-entering-woods-gets-handed-28k-fine-1.7606766

however, i would support a permanent ban on smoking in the forest. don't throw your butts or your roaches in the woods, ever.

they should have said 1984, or potentially 1985.

i had a copy of cuts like a knife on cassette in the mid 80s, when i was very small. however, you can tell that the guys doing the sharon and arafat voiceovers in conan's discovery of ai video must have been canadian, because the record was not released internationally until after reckless was a global hit.

if bryan adams was on the road to damascus in 1983, it was to get yelled at by god or something. he probably wasn't.

we put a tariff on chinese steel, which i don't quite understand. cheap steel is good for canada's economy. further, steel manufacturing is very dirty and it's worthwhile to outsource it for that reason.

the chinese have every right to retaliate with a tariff on canola, although i don't quite understand that either.

the biggest problem that we have in the canadian judicial system, or at least here in ontario, and this is relatively recent, is that the judges are frequently overwhelmingly fucking stupid people.

the ndp is apparently aligning against indigenous rights in order to protect property rights for transnational capital.

what a sad joke.

The land is owned by the federal government, the province, the City of Richmond, the Vancouver Fraser Port Authority, and various private companies and individuals.

that is false.

the ruling states the land is owned by the indigenous peoples that never sold or ceded it and that these groups are currently squatting on land they do not own.

https://vancouversun.com/news/cowichan-nations-title-over-parts-richmond-property-rights-bc-supreme-court

it's frequently glossed over in schools, but one of the major causes of the american revolution (1776, 13 years after the royal proclamation) was that americans didn't like the idea of not being able to buy lands from the indians in what was at the time the ohio river area. the royal proclamation is still canadian law, but it was actually directed mostly at american settlers around the appalachians.

the american state never allowed it's settlers to buy allodial title from the indians, but it didn't see the need to sign treaties or uphold roman imperial precedents the way the british did. it just killed them. stealing land from the indians was not really against the law in the united states the way it was and still is in canada.

in fact, the british crown frequently had to insert itself as a source of law in restricting the activity of british settlers in canada. there are episodes where the british police came down hard on british settlers in northern ontario (at the time called upper canada) and it eventually created the rcmp for the express purpose of protecting the indians from canadian settlers. the british realized that canada was virtually uninhabitable and the only way to protect it from american encroachment was to sign treaties with the indians, so it went well out of it's way to stop canadian settlers from stealing indian lands and aggressively prosecuted canadian settlers when it broke the law. it's a very different history in the canadian prairies than the american ones.

the prairies were eventually settled not by british settlers but by scandinavian and ukrainian settlers, and in some cases by scottish settlers, who didn't behave the same way as the british did, for some reason.

there was a change in mentality after confederation in 1867, which is why british columbia is not under treaty. that change in mentality was towards a more american approach, without abandoning british law. the provincial authorities in british columbia just broke the law.

well, now they're going to have to be held accountable for it.

this isn't a grounds for appeal, and they are admitting they don't have one. they just don't like the decision.

i haven't read the lengthy ruling, but british columbia is unique in canada because most of the province, including all of vancouver, isn't under treaty.

the treaties themselves are controversial. it is argued by some that they haven't been upheld, or that they've been abused, that the terms have been ignored or changed or even that the indigenous leaders didn't really sign or didn't understand what they signed. there is truth in all of this. they are nonetheless what a court in canada analyses when looking at indigenous land claims. this is a map from the canadian government:

quebec doesn't need a treaty under canadian law because it was conquered by the british from the french in the french and indian war, ending with the royal proclamation of 1763. newfoundland wasn't a part of canada at all until 1949 and the last indigenous person on the island supposedly died in 1829, many centuries after the native newfoundlanders, the beothuk, first made contact with the vikings. nunavut, since 1999, is currently a semi-autonomous region that is largely self-governed by the inuit, and includes a lot of northern quebec and labrador. there have also been some "modern treaties" that have carved out a small number of areas in bc as semi-autonomous, self-governing indigenous regions.

but the reality is that most of bc simply isn't under treaty, which means that the only legal claim that canada has to bc at all is the 1763 proclamation itself, which orders that only the federal government is permitted to negotiate land cessation. that means that the land legally still belongs to the indigenous groups, if a court awards them aboriginal title. 

if the argument by the province is that the court ruling claims that property awarded in fee simple was awarded illegally and that creates problems for the province, my understanding of the situation would be that that is probably correct - that the ruling would in fact invalidate any land parceled out because it wasn't ceded under canadian/british law (which in context is actually based on roman imperial law. this is a precedent that goes back thousands of years.). that is actually what the ruling says. that's correct. 

the ruling probably orders the government to develop a treaty between the indigenous group, and as i understand it there were a couple of competing claims, but only this one by the cowichan met a series of tests determined in canadian case law to establish aboriginal title.

the consequence is that the federal government is going to have to sign a treaty with the cowichan nation. that treaty might result in ceding the land, for a sum. however, if the cowichan nation wants the land back and won't sell it, the government is in fact going to have to tear up the existing fiefdoms that it awarded, because they were awarded to land it didn't own.

is this land even a part of canada at all? well, what the 1763 proclamation says, and the united states was a part of britain at the time, is that settlers aren't allowed to buy land from the indians, only the king is. this was a land grab by the british king. 

i suppose it would be up to washington whether it wants to respect the proclamation or not.

frankly, i don't see any reason why the cowichan should be forced into a treaty relationship with canada in 2025, instead of with washington or russia or china or mexico. it's their land. nobody else in canada except the government is allowed to buy it. that doesn't mean they have to sell it, and it doesn't mean they have to sell it to canada.

yes, that is what the ruling implies, and this inevitable outcome has been clear for a long time. there are large swaths of bc that were simply stolen, and that is actually not permitted under canadian law or under british imperial law. the british legal system never allowed settlers to just show up and steal land from the natives - not in america, not in africa, not in india, not in australia, not anywhere. you could buy land. you could conquer land. you could settle land. you couldn't just steal it.

that is what canada did in bc and it is not lawful under imperial law and there will have to be eventual consequences. this is the start. there's much more to come.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/vancouver/article/cowichans-lawyer-says-bc-must-reconcile-property-rights-with-land-claim-ruling/