the second container of my crispy crunches were edible, so i just ate them. i'm down to just the marshmallows in the coffee, although i also have a package of instant ice lattes.

as mentioned, i'm about to enter back into the creative phase of consuming the food from the food bank. i'm going to take note of where the pasta subs are at ending #11 and going into 12 and eventually 13. i have enough basic materials built up from a few trips to the food bank to get me to 18 days of pasta this summer. this is a food bank staple - i can expect they will always give me pasta, so i'm going to get more the next time i'm there, too.

my pasta with minor subs is updated.

pre-prep

- on a large flat plate add -  one tomato (preferred) or four-five mini tomatoes or 100 g of canned tomatoes or 100 g of arrabiata pasta sauce, one half a red pepper (diced), one avocado (diced), two cloves of garlic, one carrot, one beet, one tbsp of oregano, one tbsp of thyme, one tbsp of basil, some fresh dill (chopped). add one tbsp of processed pesto (includes italian cheeses).

- chop 150 g of fresh pineapple into small squares on a small plate. i purchased four actual pineapples at reduced price at the grocery store across the street because they were ripe, which is a good thing (who wants crunchy pineapples? it's better if they're a little soft.). i should get around 900 g 750 g of usable fruit per pineapple. i'm finishing up pineapple 2 of 4 and about to go to pineapple 3 and they are in fact nice and soft. somebody at the store really didn't get it.

- peel and segment one lime. chop each segment in half. put on same plate.

- slice and chop up 50 g of salami into small squares (i'm using spicy genoa sold in a 600 g amount). i have one more salami left, after which i'll shift to some frozen meat, which includes chicken and ground bison. i may have some difficulty with this, as i do not believe i have ever cooked raw meat before, and would have never purchased it in a store or even eaten it if it wasn't given to me, but i'm not going to throw it away. the animal is dead. i'll never buy this, i'll never contribute to it's economy, but it's not helpful to waste it. i'm going to have to teach myself how to i suppose fry these items.

- fry in olive oil margarine until a little crispy. 

- chop off the top of 25 g of broccoli florets and place on a small plate. place any stems in a bowl in the freezer, which is cumulative.

- grate 100 g of marble cheese

- weigh 110 g of dry pasta, preferably fettucine, but i will not be using fettucine for the foreseeable future. i went through three days of egg noodles and four days of fusilli. day eight will be half fusilli and half penne. it's been penne since and will be for a while still.

- cook to al dente in a covered pot.

preparation:

- add pasta on top of vegetables, right out of the pot. flatten pasta.

- add 1 tbsp of olive oil margarine on pasta.

- add pineapple and lime on top of that. flatten fruit.

- add salami or other meat on top of that. flatten meat.

- add 1 tbsp cumin, 1 tbsp nutritional yeast, 1 tbsp paprika, 1 tbsp hemp seeds, 1 tbsp sunflower seeds (or just chomp the last one). distribute these items evenly.

- add a lot of ceasar dressing (this is the pasta sauce), and bunch it up in the middle.

- add 1 tbsp of processed pesto

- add the grated marble cheese

- microwave for 2:00

- sprinkle crushed broccoli florets

- add frank's, black pepper, a tbsp of cayenne pepper (sprinkled).

 

served with

- serve with some bread and olive oil margarine. the food bank gave me a lot of bread, including garlic cheese buns (first up), a baguette (second, now almost done) and a loaf of unsliced italian bread (third). i'm currently on the baguette and using five slices with margarine.

- serve with tall glass of 25% grapefruit, 75% orange juice

as mentioned, i'm on day 11 of pasta, which is 3 of 4 for cycle 3. there's enough ingredients here to get midway through cycle 6, although i'm going to be alternating for now to use some of the other food up to.

one thing coming up is a sub of lentils for quinoa, as i have a fair amount of lentils. again, i do not normally eat lentils. i'm not sure i have ever eaten lentils. they seem healthy. that could be interesting.

i hope i'm awake now, so let's try this again:

- june 16th: doubled up salsa with chick peas, cheese, spices and vitamins.

- june 17th: onion soup bacon poutine

- june 18th: basic doritos nachos and french onon soup with bacon

- june 19th: doubled up salsa reprise

- june 20th: caesar salad without subs

- june 21st: 2nd onion soup poutine with onion soup and last chance salad

- june 22rd: 3rd onion soup poutine with onion soup with beets

- june 23rd: caesar salad without subs

- june 24th: caesar salad without subs

- june 25th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 26th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 27th: ad hoc pad thai

- june 28th: broccoli soup

- june 29th: fridge-clearing meal (oranges & garlic bread)

- june 30th: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 1st:    kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 2nd:  kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 3rd:  10 packages of instant oatmeal, in 5 installments. spaghetti-os + spices & vitamins (cumin, cayenne, pepper, oregano, paprika, sunflower seed, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, frank's).

- july 4th:  a can of stew and a can of corn, plus spices & vitamins.

- july 5th: a package of jasmine rice i had put aside as a quinoa sub (it probably isn't), with a can of peas and a can of tomato soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 6th: a can of beans cooked in a can of vegetable soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 7th:  two cans of chicken noodle soup, plus spices and vitamins. tim's xl double-double coffee in morning. two builders protein mini bars in evening. 7-11 coffee with jalapeno taquito late at night.

- july 8th: food bank junk food eat through - two bags of "real vegetable chips" (one big, one small), a bag of goldfish crackers, one mini crispy crunch, some strawberry licorice, prime energy drink, two tim horton's donuts, little ceasar's pepperoni pizza with unlabelled chocolate milk product.

- july 9th: another prime energy drink with another unlabelled chocolate milk product, unlabelled food bank ginger bread (two loaves)

- july 10th: pasta with minor subs (1), third energy drink, sour cream n cheddar chips

- july 11th: sour cream 'n' bacon, sour cream 'n' onion chips

- july 12th: more licorice, pasta with minor subs (2)

- july 13th: jalapeno cheddar chips, pasta with minor subs (3)

- july 14th: 10 baby cookies, pasta with minor subs (4)

- july 15th: i ate most of the 14th pasta on the 15th and followed it with the remaining baby cookies (which are actually french butter cookies, not baby cookies. they look like baby cookies). i did not make pasta for the 15th.

- july 16th:.  pasta with minor subs (5)

- july 17th:  pasta with minor subs (6)

- july 18th (on the 19th):  pasta with minor subs (7)

- july 19th (on the 20th): cereal (one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and an apple)

- july 20th (on the 21st): pasta with minor subs (8)

- july 21st (on the 22nd): pasta with minor subs (9)

- july 22nd: cereal day 2 in cycle 2 (final cycle 2 cereal day): one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and two apples, one in the oatmeal and one standalone.

- july 23rd: cereal day 1 in cycle 3

- july 24: pasta with minor subs (10)

- july 25: cereal day 2 in cycle 3, same as 22 and 23, with the addition of 6 mini apple sauce containers.

- july 26: pasta with minor subs (11)

- july 27th - guac with white rice and canned corn

as an aside, i'm happy to see that this pseudo-scientific garbage has fully migrated to the right, with conservatives like zizek and jordan peterson. these idiots have been at the root cause of what is keeping the left down for decades. good riddance.

i'm concerned about these auras, triggering without associated migraines. i recognize the auras. where's the headache?

i have never got them in one eye. the tracers have always been in my temple, between my eyes. i would not describe it as ocular. it starts with glassy vision, progresses to something like the northern lights (i call them tracers because it's similar to a psilocybin trip, which is an experience i know i can compare and relate to) and then stops all at once. it just lifts, suddenly. the next step is the stroke-like numbness, and that could happen on either side and often actually happens on both sides (separately) through the process.

i'm used to a vicious headache setting in after that, but it hasn't happened in recent days.

these are migraine headaches. they're about the worst ones you get. why are they happening more frequently, and without the headaches? is it a consequence of the marijuana smoke i'm breathing in, and whatever's in it?

https://americanmigrainefoundation.org/resource-library/migraine-aura-without-headache/

i slept again all night.

i have some coffee brewing.

it is clear that they drugged me again, but also that this time it isn't working. they've been here talking to me for days. what's been happening for the last five nights in a row is:

- i feel ok at first

- then i have an aura without a migraine. there's another one coming right now.

- then i feel dopey for a bit, and i start to notice the smell of marijuana (i made a very aggressive complaint on thursday night, and there was no pot tonight or last night, or not that i could tell)

- then i get extremely tired and eventually sleep for 15 or 20 hours at a time. yes, it's the pot that is knocking me out, but there is something in it. that's when they start talking to me.

the purpose appears to be to try to knock me out, primarily. as mentioned, they want to do their talk therapy on me first and foremost. they are resorting to drugging me with steroids as a last resort. they actually want to "cure" me by messing with my dreams. they're trying to force me to sleep to force me to dream. 

these are pseudo-scientific thugs that may have some education in freud but, in all likelihood, are tying to apply something they saw in a zizek video. they think they're smart, but they aren't. they're low intelligence idiots operating on dark age logic and anti-empirical thinking. they need to be put in jail, and i'm getting there.

i can get a guess at some of the things they're seeding me with.

for example, i had a g rated dream last night where i went clothes shopping with a young angelina jolie. we toured through a mall in downtown ottawa called the rideau centre. i tried on a few things. she tried on a few things. it was pretty uneventful.

i don't suppose that was their intent.

this is a very weird thing for me to dream about, and not something i can explain away easily. i am not a fan of angelina jolie (that's probably why it was angelina jolie c. 2000), have seen like maybe two of her movies (one of them was girl; interrupted) and know essentially nothing about her. while i do not date women and am not interested in dating women, i am generally not at all attracted to italian or southern european woman, and am generally more attracted to northern european as in germanic, viking, celtic, slavic or swedish women. i think italian culture is disgusting, i think their religion is stupid, i think their men are despicable and i think their women are ugly. it's not a culture i have much or any respect for. i have much more respect for the cultures of northern europe than the cultures of southern europe. i have some italian ancestry, but i don't look like it and i identify as strictly scandinavian, and not as italian or mediterranean. i don't like these people. i went to a high school full of italians and wouldn't even talk to them because i thought they were filthy and disgusting. for angelina jolie to pop up in my dreams would not make sense, as that is not somebody i would have ever noted any interest in or attraction to. i remember her as gross and weird and ugly and ethnic. i haven't seen a film she's in or seen any ads with her in them in something like 20 years. she wouldn't have even crossed my mind, normally. i haven't read anything about her or seen any pictures of her recently at a supermarket or anything. that wasn't my idea, i can be sure about that. somebody was seeding me when i was dreaming, and trying to get a very different outcome.

i actually don't think i've seen any film at all in upwards of 20 years. there is no movie star i'm thinking about because i don't watch movies. i would rather do anything than waste my time in front of a tv watching a movie - i think it's a complete waste of oxygen. i do not enjoy watching films and do not do so. i don't want to waste an afternoon. i don't want to turn my mind off. i have work to do; it's a boring waste of time.

despite this obvious drugging, with it's clear intent that has completely failed, i'm not seeing the signs of drugging that i would associate with forced steroid use, like i have previously. there is no unwanted hair growth, no unwanted muscle thickening, no unwanted arousal. i can hear them downstairs, and they're trying to enforce their thuggery and nonsense when i'm asleep, but they have completely failed to do anything but knock me out and make me tired. they are insisting on some pre-modern concept of treatment and refusing to understand that the sole thing that gave them results previously was the steroids, which i've aggressively metabolized and removed and undone with massive amounts of estrogen, progesterone and t-blocking.

i'm going to have to spend the night in the shower, drinking coffee and cleaning up from sleeping in my own sweat for much of the last week. i'm exhausted and i feel like shit.

as mentioned, i have a drug req ready to go if i notice the kinds of symptoms i'm worried about. for right now, it seems like i'm recuperating strictly from some kind of strong sedative, and i just need to focus on cleaning myself and dying my hair.

these disgusting low intelligence retards need to go fucking hang themselves off of a tree. they're despicable, disgusting, sad excuses for human beings that should be put out of their fucking misery by firing squad.

the sign at the museum in stratford, on (not far from london, on and kitchener, on, all regions renamed during world war one from their original colonial name, which was berlin, ontario) is somewhat disappointing, but i guess they need to generate funding somehow.

however, bieber should take note.

he's history.

While the US has a relatively low prevalence of malnutrition, it still experiences child malnutrition deaths, with numbers fluctuating in recent years. In 2020, malnutrition accounted for 0.27% of all deaths, with 6,762 fatalities, according to the National Institutes of Health (NIH). 

that's right. there are 6700 reported cases of children dying from malnutrition in the united states in 2020.

canada does not keep statistics about child mortality from malnutrition, to it's discredit, given that it is a serious issue in the indigenous population.

you should also google the term "child malnutrition deaths in egypt". at best, you couldn't expect palestine to do better than egypt.

i would not believe the statistics compiled by hamas, which is where the media is pulling them from. nonetheless, some level of child mortality should be expected in palestine, by way of comparison with egypt. a large amount of the cause of this is arab culture, which has too many children and forces them to compete with each other for resources, like primates in a jungle. a part of this is the economic system in place, which is deeply feudal and undemocratic.

even after the propaganda, gaza still appears to have better child mortality statistics than the united states or egypt, which is the consequence of being fed by the israeli army for so long. israel has grounds to be annoyed and pissed off by this.

if they pulled out, it would get worse. just look at egypt.

as the economy collapses and war sets in, european leaders are turning to their trusted catholic scapegoat, the jew. i don't want canada to fall into this abyss.

i haven't been feeling well this week. i've had multiple auras, although the headaches haven't been so bad. instead, i've felt dopey and stupid. i've been sleeping most of the week, but i'm not sure exactly what i'm sleeping off. i am feeling better, i think. i hope.

i still have piles of the basic ingredients for pasta, but i don't want to get too far out in the schedule, because i'm still going to have piles of pasta, regardless. i'm going to start alternating other things in and making meals out of the more unusual items that i'm grateful the food bank gave me.

my normal guac is as follows:

- 2 avocados

- 4 cloves of garlic

- one carrot

- one beet

- one orange

- one lime

- spices & vitamins (cumin, hemp seeds, sunflower seeds, paprika, nutritional yeast)

- ten slices of cheddar cheese

- caesar dressing

- frank's hot sauce

this would normally be half of a meal.

i have made the minor sub of a can of corn and a bowl of instant rice to make a meal out of it. 

it's not that exciting, but i'm keeping track.

my position on this topic has been that i'm opposed to dumping them on the market, as it generates harmful competition for resources required to survive at the bottom of society. i am not a conservative, and i'm not interested in "reducing government waste".

the government needs to either increase funding to meet demand (this has been my preferred proposal) and reduce competition for resources to survive or severely reduce the number of refugees entering the country, if it can't or won't.

cutting government funding ("leaving it to the market") without addressing the supply is the worst possible policy, and it's going to make my life more difficult by forcing me to compete with people that i have no interest in competing with.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/thunder-bay/ircc-ends-hotel-funding-for-asylum-seekers-1.7593668

google did let me into my kcc account.

i don't know what happened, but i don't see any sign of tampering and have to fall back to occam's razor in acknowledging the likelihood of a glitch.

not even one.

i'm shattered.

https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=cast+iron+statue+of+ozzy+osbourne

they go to bed earlier so they can wake up early to check their newsfeeds. like old men, who get up at 6 am to read the news.

i actually get this, because i used to get up early to check my email before i went to school, in the 90s. i didn't go to bed early, though, i just drank piles of barq's root beer.

https://www.wcnc.com/article/news/local/connect-the-dots/earlier-bed-times-young-adults-connect-the-dots/275-5c1dc011-b247-4cf2-b474-afbd8862c698

11:30 pm in post-pandemic time is like 2:30 am in 90s time.

do you know what i think is going to replace colbert?

reruns of family guy.

because 11:30 is now the graveyard shift. it's the dead of the night. it's after everybody's gone to bed, and the only people watching tv are lonely potheads and unemployed fat guys.

it's less that macron wants muslims to vote for him, and more that he wants to take the issue off of the table in terms of ballot questions, and that's not even going to work.

as usual, when he talks about foreign policy, macron should really just shut the fuck up.

the french should worry about france.

it's a triviality.

there is no palestinian state to recognize. it's like believing in santa claus.

there needs to be a state somewhere before discussions about recognition make sense, and that is exceedingly unlikely to happen. like, ever.

is macron going to recognize the 1967 borders? that was 58 years ago.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/france-macron-palestine-israel-hamas-ceasefire-talks-1.7593315

i might not care about wrestling or star wars or any other nerdy man macho garbage, but something i did care about when i was a little kid was transformers, because i guess it was just dorky enough.

and that is the way to interpret what we call "progressives" in 2025. 

they're decepticons.

conservatives in disguise.

be careful with the p-word. look for people that try to avoid it by using more left-leaning terms like liberal, socialist or anarchist. the p-word is code for a conservative in disguise.

my understanding is that chris barber is a scary guy and probably should be in jail. however, ms. lich is five foot nothing and utterly harmless. she ended up at the centre of this by accident and is guilty of nothing more than free speech.

she's not a criminal, she's a hero, and the crown risks martyring her if they go full islam on her.

this is, however, just another data point in the ongoing collapse of canada's legal system into a totalitarian right nightmare, like you'd expect in a theocratic state. we're falling into backwardsness and fundamentalism and we don't have forever to stop it. these systems are notoriously hard to overthrow when they assert themselves in place.

https://nationalpost.com/opinion/selley-tamara-lich-seven-years-for-mischief-vs-one-day-for-terrorism

today was another day with too much sleeping, so i'm going to have to spend all night in the bathroom on my hair. i waited until the heat came down a little to dye it; i was going to do it last night but fell asleep before 4:00 am. ugh.

let's try this again.

- june 16th: doubled up salsa with chick peas, cheese, spices and vitamins.

- june 17th: onion soup bacon poutine

- june 18th: basic doritos nachos and french onon soup with bacon

- june 19th: doubled up salsa reprise

- june 20th: caesar salad without subs

- june 21st: 2nd onion soup poutine with onion soup and last chance salad

- june 22rd: 3rd onion soup poutine with onion soup with beets

- june 23rd: caesar salad without subs

- june 24th: caesar salad without subs

- june 25th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 26th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 27th: ad hoc pad thai

- june 28th: broccoli soup

- june 29th: fridge-clearing meal (oranges & garlic bread)

- june 30th: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 1st:    kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 2nd:  kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 3rd:  10 packages of instant oatmeal, in 5 installments. spaghetti-os + spices & vitamins (cumin, cayenne, pepper, oregano, paprika, sunflower seed, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, frank's).

- july 4th:  a can of stew and a can of corn, plus spices & vitamins.

- july 5th: a package of jasmine rice i had put aside as a quinoa sub (it probably isn't), with a can of peas and a can of tomato soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 6th: a can of beans cooked in a can of vegetable soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 7th:  two cans of chicken noodle soup, plus spices and vitamins. tim's xl double-double coffee in morning. two builders protein mini bars in evening. 7-11 coffee with jalapeno taquito late at night.

- july 8th: food bank junk food eat through - two bags of "real vegetable chips" (one big, one small), a bag of goldfish crackers, one mini crispy crunch, some strawberry licorice, prime energy drink, two tim horton's donuts, little ceasar's pepperoni pizza with unlabelled chocolate milk product.

- july 9th: another prime energy drink with another unlabelled chocolate milk product, unlabelled food bank ginger bread (two loaves)

- july 10th: pasta with minor subs (1), third energy drink, sour cream n cheddar chips

- july 11th: sour cream 'n' bacon, sour cream 'n' onion chips

- july 12th: more licorice, pasta with minor subs (2)

- july 13th: jalapeno cheddar chips, pasta with minor subs (3)

- july 14th: 10 baby cookies, pasta with minor subs (4)

- july 15th: i ate most of the 14th pasta on the 15th and followed it with the remaining baby cookies (which are actually french butter cookies, not baby cookies. they look like baby cookies). i did not make pasta for the 15th.

- july 16th:.  pasta with minor subs (5)

- july 17th:  pasta with minor subs (6)

- july 18th (on the 19th):  pasta with minor subs (7)

- july 19th (on the 20th): cereal (one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and an apple)

- july 20th (on the 21st): pasta with minor subs (8)

- july 21st (on the 22nd): past with minor subs (9)

- july 22nd: cereal day 2 in cycle 2 (final cycle 2 cereal day): one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and two apples, one in the oatmeal and one standalone.

- july 23rd: cereal day 1 in cycle 3

- july 24: pasta with minor subs (10)

- july 25: cereal day 2 in cycle 3, same as 22 and 23, with the addition of 6 mini apple sauce containers.

it was hot here today. i'm not feeling well, and spent it sleeping. i'm once again dealing with the bad habits of disgusting neigbours making me sick and tired. but it's going to rain tonight and i'm looking forward to it.

we get convection storms through here but it hasn't rained in weeks or maybe months.

this just in.

emmanuel macron has decided that france will recognize the easter bunny. the easter bunny's office has released a statement of thanks for the acknowledgement, and promised to shit on his pillow in thanks.

where does mr. macron believe that a palestinian state is to exist, exactly?

it says little about the future of the middle east and a lot about who mr. macron is relying on to get reelected.

As one example, she points to the answer E.M. gave when asked about her weight — E.M. said it was 120 pounds but had since remembered it was on her medical records as 138 pounds. Carroccia was concerned she changed her answer.

well. you ask a woman about her weight, what do you expect?

is that her strongest example? 

E.M. was never shown stumbling or trouble walking, and having trouble walking in high heels, Carroccia says. She does not appear drunk in the consent videos, the judge adds.

this, as i understand it, is what the trial was about.

if the crown could have convinced the judge the woman was too drunk to consent, they would have succeeded. however, if she was sober enough to function, the evidence pretty squarely suggested this thing was consensual.

she had the right to withdraw consent at any time, and she might have, but after having gone to the length of actually filming a video stating consent, you'd have to articulate that point pretty clearly to get it across. you can't put somebody in jail for that.

whoever wrote this article knows how to dig with a bad joke. bravo.

https://www.cbc.ca/kidsnews/post/watch-ttc-blames-12-year-old-boys-for-jokes-about-its-new-poo-crew

like i say, i don't watch the late night. i'd rather watch conan's youtube feed.  i do keep up with stewart, but that's very recent.

however, i can do this. 

colbert used to be funny a long time ago and mostly lost it. jimmy fallon is a complete fucking moron and deserves to be beat up and have his lunch money stolen. i find kimmel kind of bro-sphere for me; he relies on the bro-tard thing too heavily. it would actually be seth meyers that i would argue is most frequently on point politically and most likely to make me laugh.

but i very rarely bother at all.

i'd rather watch a history doc or an economics podcast or a national geographic film or something.

are we this stupid?

really?

yes, those deals trump is signing need to be ratified by the us senate.

...unless he rewrote the constitution in sharpie at 3 am when people were sleeping.

total american manufacturing output is apparently about $3 trillion.

the 500 billion dollars assigned to japan is a lot.

in fact, congress might cancel this for that reason. if i was a us senator, i would not be happy about this.

the thing about ozzy is that he made no attempt to be taken seriously. so, what's the point of making fun of him?

go watch spinal tap.

i don't think the solo to crazy train is overrated, exactly. it is what it is. it's not original, or unique, or even that hard, but it is just about perfectly stereotypical. it's like spinal tap reformed with ozzy singing, for real. it's not something i'd listen to myself, but rock music wouldn't be the same without it.

as a rock musician and fan, i know exactly who ozzy osbourne was.

that is really all i have to say.

(i'm not a fan of ozzy osbourne. at all. sorry. no link, because i don't even know. i had a copy of the first black sabbath cd at one point, and i actually learned how to play crazy train when i was a kid, but it was like going to school and doing a project. i really didn't like the song very much.)

i sincerely hope they bury ozzy osbourne in an iron sarcophagus and put it on display in the rock and roll hall of fame.

i do support bans on public prayer in publicly owned spaces, which would include public parks. if the permit was for a religious prayer festival, i would support revoking it.

i don't support bans on artistic expression in publicly owned spaces, and they aren't the same thing. 

concerts should be allowed to proceed on public land, but religious gatherings should be told to find a private venue.

when it's christians, it's a public safety issue.

when it's muslims, it's a constitutional rights issue.

it's a clear double standard that needs to be attacked head-on.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/montreal/article/banning-prayer-in-public-legal-experts-sound-alarm-on-legaults-threat-to-use-notwithstanding-clause/

i would no doubt disagree with this guy on virtually everything, but i doubt his concert poses any kind of security threat, and i don't see how it's any more offensive to have a christian musician than it is to have a muslim festival. the latter would almost certainly not have been cancelled, and these same people have come out in opposition to banning muslims praying in public spaces in canada about the same issues (this is a real issue here, specifically in montreal), which is exactly the same thing. it sets a bad precedent and a double standard that the bourgeois left may regret one day in the near future, after a change in government cancels a concert critical of pierre polievre due to "security concerns". conversely, if they are going to apply this precedent fairly, they should be ensuring that muslim groups are not allowed to pray on public property, either.

i'm not a christian. i'm a secularist and an atheist. i'm concerned about the precedent. i have no solidarity with this guy.

we don't give free speech rights to foreigners in canada, so he doesn't have a case, but he has one in principle. this is the government infringing on the right to free assembly in a pretty blatant way. i would hope the ccla would step in, to get some kind of process in place to censure parks canada for an absurd decision.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/permit-revoked-maga-concert-sean-feucht-1.7591743

if trump wants to surprise me and prove that he's smart after all, he'll make a trade deal with the eu that re-establishes them as the export market. that is the way that the post-war economy was supposed to work: america builds it, europe buys it. it worked for a while and broke down after nixon went to china. this would be dramatically different from a deal with japan or korea.

this us trade deal with japan, if i understand, is designed to try to force japanese car makers (and other electronics manufacturers) to manufacture items for the american market in the united states, against market forces that would push production to mexico or canada. 

it's explicitly designed to force japan to make less cars in canada and more cars in the united states and it's doing so by increasing the cost of business across the board, and making it that much more expensive in canada. this is reshoring by manufactured inflation.

the result is that the price of japanese cars is going to substantively increase, and i can't imagine it will be substantively offset by the increase in wages associated with reshoring. that increase in wages will help a little, sure, but only for auto workers. everybody else is faced with a huge increase in inflation.

that said, the japanese are a special case. they have a history of spending huge amounts of money building factories in north america for the north american market. it's like they figured out that buying the factories that make the bombs makes more sense than bombing hawaii. it's almost colonialism, more than it is trade. the deal apparently specifically indicates that japan will spend half a trillion dollars building new factories and upgrading old ones in the united states. that will create jobs in the united states, and it will be good for the economy, overall. it's not "america first". it's foreign ownership of american production, and it may prove itself a national security threat in the long run, but it's a start in rebuilding american manufacturing, which everybody realizes still has incredible potential.

this might actually be a good deal for the united states, in the long run, even if it's a better deal for japan. it's also a direct attack on the canadian auto sector, who will be the massive loser, via collateral damage and negative externalities, even if it feels like it's on purpose. trump has clearly broadcast that canada and mexico are not invited to any special treatment, here. 

it's also not possible to apply the same ideas to other countries, with the potential exceptions of south korea and taiwan, who have similar relationships with united states tech manufacturing. this would not apply to china, to india, to any other country in the pacific rim, to anzac or to europe. the saudis might have gone down this path with their oil money, but they didn't; they just buy stock and flip it for profit. it's only these us-occupied asian countries that want to buy into american manufacturing on such a deep level, and that are pulling the old trick that the romans pulled on everybody for centuries, which is to colonize the imperialists from the inside out.

what i'm getting at is that i don't want to give trump too much credit. the japanese know what they're doing, and almost nobody else has the same kind of relationship with american capital.

is howard stern half orangutan?

those are the biggest arms i've ever seen.

he's like the arnold palmer of arms.

i've been dealing with migraines this week, and it really threw me off and knocked me out, as they do. i think i've avoided another drugging, to this point.

the over sleeping means i'm skipping a day.

- june 16th: doubled up salsa with chick peas, cheese, spices and vitamins.

- june 17th: onion soup bacon poutine

- june 18th: basic doritos nachos and french onon soup with bacon

- june 19th: doubled up salsa reprise

- june 20th: caesar salad without subs

- june 21st: 2nd onion soup poutine with onion soup and last chance salad

- june 22rd: 3rd onion soup poutine with onion soup with beets

- june 23rd: caesar salad without subs

- june 24th: caesar salad without subs

- june 25th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 26th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 27th: ad hoc pad thai

- june 28th: broccoli soup

- june 29th: fridge-clearing meal (oranges & garlic bread)

- june 30th: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 1st:    kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 2nd:  kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 3rd:  10 packages of instant oatmeal, in 5 installments. spaghetti-os + spices & vitamins (cumin, cayenne, pepper, oregano, paprika, sunflower seed, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, frank's).

- july 4th:  a can of stew and a can of corn, plus spices & vitamins.

- july 5th: a package of jasmine rice i had put aside as a quinoa sub (it probably isn't), with a can of peas and a can of tomato soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 6th: a can of beans cooked in a can of vegetable soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 7th:  two cans of chicken noodle soup, plus spices and vitamins. tim's xl double-double coffee in morning. two builders protein mini bars in evening. 7-11 coffee with jalapeno taquito late at night.

- july 8th: food bank junk food eat through - two bags of "real vegetable chips" (one big, one small), a bag of goldfish crackers, one mini crispy crunch, some strawberry licorice, prime energy drink, two tim horton's donuts, little ceasar's pepperoni pizza with unlabelled chocolate milk product.

- july 9th: another prime energy drink with another unlabelled chocolate milk product, unlabelled food bank ginger bread (two loaves)

- july 10th: pasta with minor subs (1), third energy drink, sour cream n cheddar chips

- july 11th: sour cream 'n' bacon, sour cream 'n' onion chips

- july 12th: more licorice, pasta with minor subs (2)

- july 13th: jalapeno cheddar chips, pasta with minor subs (3)

- july 14th: 10 baby cookies, pasta with minor subs (4)

- july 15th: i ate most of the 14th pasta on the 15th and followed it with the remaining baby cookies (which are actually french butter cookies, not baby cookies. they look like baby cookies). i did not make pasta for the 15th.

- july 16th:.  pasta with minor subs (5)

- july 17th:  pasta with minor subs (6)

- july 18th (on the 19th):  pasta with minor subs (7)

- july 19th (on the 20th): cereal (one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and an apple)

- july 20th (on the 21st): pasta with minor subs (8)

- july 21st (on the 22nd): past with minor subs (9)

- july 22nd: cereal day 2 in cycle 2 (final cycle 2 cereal day): one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and two apples, one in the oatmeal and one standalone.

- july 23rd: i'm going to double up on the cereal this morning to start cycle 3.

i don't watch tv. at all. in fact, i don't even have a tv. i watch a fair amount of youtube, and i do keep up with jon stewart via youtube, which is largely nostalgic.

i don't think stephen colbert is very funny, myself. his schtick back in the day was impressive, but i don't think he's really transitioned well out of the persona and into a real person. i used to watch a lot of conan o'brien when i was a kid, and largely walked away from the entire concept of late night when he got screwed over. i don't keep up with any of them.

my read on the situation is that 11:30 is no longer a good time slot. young people today want to go to bed earlier, so they can wake up earlier and check their phones. i think that late night tv is misunderstanding this change in scheduling behaviour. people used to get up, fall out of bed, drag a comb across their head, find their way downstairs and drink a cup, look up, notice they were late, find their coat, grab their hat and make the bus in seconds flat. they don't that anymore. nowadays, they get up, roll over and stare at their phone for an hour before they fall out of bed. so, they have to go to bed early enough to get up to check their feeds.

that means that what colbert really lost out on was scheduling. it's too late at night, nowadays.

that doesn't mean that you just time-shift it like you're solving a relativity problem. the tv day is shorter, now, because people have phones; they used to spend 15 hours on tv, and now will spend 8 or 10. if you want to survive on actual tv (and not just youtube), you need a better time slot.

anarchism is not about abolishing government, it's about abolishing the state, which is a different thing. the idea is that you replace the state with democracy; you replace the state with a government.

definitions of the state are inexact. it's a similar idea to what the right calls the "deep state"; anarchists just call that the state. abolishing the state means abolishing private property (in the means of production). it means collectivizing production. it means democratizing everything. it means taking power away from an unelected upper class and giving it to the masses of people, instead.

the system of government sometimes called "market libertarianism" is not anarchism in any coherent sense, but is in truth fascism in disguise, as you need a totalitarian state to apply the market theory, and the aims and goals of such a system very quickly fall off into social darwinism and then nazism, if left to develop unchecked.

i've written a lot about this (it's all on the side), but it's coming up again so i want to summarize.

i frequently criticize free market ideology and people advancing and pushing free market ideology. it's the ideology of market theory that i'm railing against, and people that want to advance it and implement it. 

the question of whether we really live in free market capitalism is incoherent nonsense. free markets are impossible. if you abolished the government, you'd end up in hobbesian exploitation, and primitive feudalism. you need a government to define the rules to implement a market; markets are not natural, do not exist in the real world and cannot exist or function outside of government dominance and control. governments and markets are the same thing. it's up to the government to determine what kind of market it wants to create.

one example of this is antitrust legislation. if you took away the state, are the corporations going to compete? no, they're going to collude, because it's in their self-interest to collude. so, you need a government to step in and actually force them to compete. in the 50s and 60s, as a response to communism, you started seeing government psy-ops develop to try to engineer a population that was more competitive and less co-operative, so that they could actually have capitalism, which our human nature towards cooperative behaviour otherwise makes very hard. the government had to redesign us to be more competitive through social engineering and force us to compete by threat of violence in order to enforce capitalism on us. free markets? it's a joke.

many years ago, brezhnev set off a sarcastic response in the academic left by using the term really existing socialism to describe what we today call state capitalism. very quickly, the useful idiots in american media started talking about really existing capitalism. this remains the best way to talk about western capitalism. all capitalism is necessarily state capitalism, because capitalism can't function without a state to enforce it. we don't have a theory of capitalism the way we have a theory of socialism, because capitalism inherently contradicts itself, making coherent theory impossible. it's supposed to implode. right?

this is the irony of the western discourse; socialism actually seems pretty realistic and pretty easy to accomplish if we can tear down a few barriers, but capitalism doesn't work and is completely impossible. it's a pipe dream.

they don't teach you this in school, they just hand you 1984 and tell you to figure it out yourself.

however, it needs to be pointed out that, in the years since, attempts to apply free market ideology to western state capitalism have resulted in increasingly targeted applications of the flawed ideology of capitalism, so that really existing capitalism is probably about as close as the fuckers are ever going to get. if they ever tore down the state, their market would evaporate in ten minutes, but a totalitarian state enforcing market ideology by violence on a population that doesn't want it (this is not socialism, it's fascism) can potentially get them to the outcome they want, and we're pretty close to that in the west. 

a functioning real left understands that religion is the greatest root cause and the more fundamental problem. capitalism is a consequence of religion, and not the other way around. you have to abolish religion before you can abolish capitalism.

for that reason, the biggest enemy of the real left is often not the capitalist right but increasingly the bourgeois left, which poses it the biggest threat, in the form of tacit acceptance of religion as something to be tolerated in a free society.

let's be clear about this.

standing up for religion is not and is never left wing. standing up for religion is always conservatism and always right wing. no exceptions.

the left always advances secularism and always advances a post-religious society. it's foundational. it's definitional. religion is not compatible with a coherent left and cannot be tolerated or welcomed or accepted by a functioning left.

a left that interacts with religion as acceptable is a right in disguise, and that's been the case on this continent for a long time.

i did have to sleep. i spent the afternoon and evening in the shower, after realizing that the soap i put on my face as a defoliant had kind of backfired. 

my hair is finally almost clean. realizing what caused the problem helped me finally fix it. almost. i put exorbitant amounts of conditioner in it and let it sit for several days, then washed it out. i then shock washed it with shampoo three times, and put exorbitant amounts of conditioner in it again, this time only for about a half hour. the fact that it almost entirely came back after a half hour but didn't come back after hours and hours trying as recently as a few days previously, indicates i had to wash something out of the hair, and i'm sure now that that thing was sweat. it's still a little frizzy at the ends, but it's basically clean. therefore, i can bleach it tomorrow.

i still can't get into the account and have convinced myself that google is trying to force me to use a cell phone. i have it in a separate window and am going to need to just click "send" over and over until it works.

i need to get back to what i was doing tonight, but it's going to be difficult because the stalkers are chain smoking inside.

i need into this account.

i'm going to have to sit there and click "resend" over and over until it lets me in.

government pot.

government pot is not any fun, but it might be bettter than methadone, and that might be what it's really good for.

i don't want it in my system. at all.

yeah, it's telling me to use another device.

i don't have another device.

this address was created for this device. they go together, and i don't like to mix my devices with my accounts like that. i want to use this address for this device.

i've googled this and it's apparently a baffling thing that people deal with, and it eventually goes away.

i have extremely limited options in terms of testing on other devices. i don't have a cell phone and i don't believe in wireless internet. i don't want a wireless network in my apartment. everything is wired. my desktops are all in boxes. i have a very small number of usable laptops.

i tried it on a windows 7 device and it did exactly the same thing.

i think that google is blocking access because somebody tried to hack in and failed. i can't verify that. but it doesn't make sense to me that i would get this error message any other way.

i have in past scenarios gotten around weird google errors by recovering the account, but it's doing exactly the same thing.

i can wait a few minutes and click resend it again, but it doesn't send.

i don't think that the site has been hacked. i don't want to take chances, but that doesn't seem like what's going on to me. i've gone into my router, and it doesn't look like they got in. i've powerwashed this device several times. i've reset the firmware from usb.

i was worried maybe my browser is too old, but it is letting me log into other accounts.

i actually think that google is being confused by stupid police officers, who have been confused by dishonest landlords. they may have contacted google in the course of some kind of investigation into the identity of these different personas, who are all the same person, and all myself.

generally speaking, death.to.koalas is my real address and koala.central.command is my spam address, but what it actually had to do with was buying a different chromebook in 2019. at the time, i was using death.to.koalas to access email on my windows 7 laptop, but that laptop has since died. i bought a chromebook and didn't want to use the same address on the chromebook that i was using on the laptop, so i set up a new one. that was all there was to it.

the correct address for this chromebook is consequently koala.central.command, but i have not been able to set up an email laptop (despite many tries) due to these annoying stalkers that won't fuck off, so i'm using this chromebook for both addresse, as well as the pi address, the tv address and whatever else i need to use it for. i have one internet device, right now. that's it.

eventually, i'll go back to using the pi address for the pi, death.to.koalas on my email laptop and koala.central.command on what i'm calling my studio chromebook, which is intended to connect to sites like youtube and bandcamp. 

but these are my concerns.

i just need google to send me the txt and let me into my account, please.

*sigh*.

i stopped to sleep briefly around 19:00, and woke up around 21:30 to realize my chromebook had rebooted. the machine has no wireless internet connection. i checked the doors and windows and don't see how anybody could have possibly gotten in, except by climbing over the roof. it strikes me as exceedingly unlikely that it might have overheated.

google is not letting me log into my primary blogger acount, which is koala.central.command. it's not telling me the password is wrong, it's refusing to send me the access code to my voip site. i can use both accounts to access this blog, but i can only access the deathtokoalas blog and most of my other blogs, as well as most of my vlogs, from the koala central command account. all of the email goes through deathtokoalas first and then forwards to koala central command, which is the central command - it's where everything goes in the end.

for the idiots amongst us, i will explicitly state that all of these email addresses are owned by the same person, which is me. the koala central command is an anti-capitalist joke. it's supposed to be funny. you're supposed to laugh. there's only one person here. death.to.koalas, koala,central.command, etc are all me, jessica parent/murray. i've set up multiple email addresses because i demand separate google accounts on every single device (i don't want two devices to use the same account, that's gross), but i've had to turn almost everything off while i'm being stalked. i have one google address that is for email, one for the tv, one for the raspberry pi, one for my digital audio player, etc. this makes sure that everything is kept totally separate, and i can't access data meant for one device from the others. unfortunately, everything is disconnected until i can shake these losers off and put them in jail.

i don't know why google is being annoying, but i want to clearly state that death.to.koalas and koala.central.command are the same person. while most of my email does go through death.to.koalas, i need access to my central email address at koala.central,command and i need access to my blogs and my youtube sites.

i did make my coffee last night with two marshmallows and two crispy crunches, but it was after i went into a migraine and i didn't drink it until i woke up. it had sit for quite a while by then. this approach will fully dissolve the marshmallow fairly quickly and the chocolate bars a little more slowly, but all that was left by the morning was the traces of peanuts

in fact, i didn't eat yesterday at all. i was going to make the pasta for yesterday early in the morning, but i was forced into sleeping by the migraine, instead. i was just finishing up a short legal document when my vision went glassy, which means the migraine is imminent.

the issue appears to be that i closed the window last night because it was raining. it was when the window was closed that i triggered into a migraine, and it hasn't lifted yet. i didn't smell anything. 

i slept well, but i feel dopey - not drugged with steroids dopey, just dumb pothead dopey. i think everybody knows, at this point, that government marijuana makes people slow-witted and stupid. it wears off, but it's extremely unenjoyable when you're stuck in it. this is what has actually happened in canada - the government ruined marijuana by turning it into a prescription medication. you do not get high off government pot, it just makes you lethargic and retarded, like you're on opiates. i'm feeling that kind of dopey. but, the migraine had an aura, and i've been trying to figure out for a while whether i'm actually being drugged with some kind of psychoactive substance or not. it would be consistent with the pseudo-scientific stupidity being enforced on me against my will. these idiots do do that - they give people mushrooms or peyote as some kind of "therapy", which is the most idiotically retarded thing imaginable, but it's the level of abject dumbassedness in front of me, paired with unjustified confidence. if they had any brains, they'd have already stopped by now, but they just keep failing over and over.

the difference between ignorance and stupidity is confidence; stupidity is accurately defined as having confidence in one's ignorance.

as it is, it knocked me out. i had to suffer through it this morning and then i slept most of the day.

i don't feel like they drugged me with steroids again and i don't see any signs of entry. this drugging me with psychedelics is equally unacceptable, but it is in some ways less bad, and in some ways more annoying. the steroids at least don't render me useless and retarded for days at a time. what i'm worried about i that the migraines and the steroid injections often happen at the same time, while i don't think they're the same thing.

i have a new req. if they drugged me again, i'm marching right back to the blood lab.

for now, i'm editing my meal schedule a little to adjust for the missed meal yesterday. i'm going to have some cereal this evening, and catch up on the pasta tonight.

- june 16th: doubled up salsa with chick peas, cheese, spices and vitamins.

- june 17th: onion soup bacon poutine

- june 18th: basic doritos nachos and french onon soup with bacon

- june 19th: doubled up salsa reprise

- june 20th: caesar salad without subs

- june 21st: 2nd onion soup poutine with onion soup and last chance salad

- june 22rd: 3rd onion soup poutine with onion soup with beets

- june 23rd: caesar salad without subs

- june 24th: caesar salad without subs

- june 25th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 26th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 27th: ad hoc pad thai

- june 28th: broccoli soup

- june 29th: fridge-clearing meal (oranges & garlic bread)

- june 30th: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 1st:    kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 2nd:  kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 3rd:  10 packages of instant oatmeal, in 5 installments. spaghetti-os + spices & vitamins (cumin, cayenne, pepper, oregano, paprika, sunflower seed, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, frank's).

- july 4th:  a can of stew and a can of corn, plus spices & vitamins.

- july 5th: a package of jasmine rice i had put aside as a quinoa sub (it probably isn't), with a can of peas and a can of tomato soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 6th: a can of beans cooked in a can of vegetable soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 7th:  two cans of chicken noodle soup, plus spices and vitamins. tim's xl double-double coffee in morning. two builders protein mini bars in evening. 7-11 coffee with jalapeno taquito late at night.

- july 8th: food bank junk food eat through - two bags of "real vegetable chips" (one big, one small), a bag of goldfish crackers, one mini crispy crunch, some strawberry licorice, prime energy drink, two tim horton's donuts, little ceasar's pepperoni pizza with unlabelled chocolate milk product.

- july 9th: another prime energy drink with another unlabelled chocolate milk product, unlabelled food bank ginger bread (two loaves)

- july 10th: pasta with minor subs (1), third energy drink, sour cream n cheddar chips

- july 11th: sour cream 'n' bacon, sour cream 'n' onion chips

- july 12th: more licorice, pasta with minor subs (2)

- july 13th: jalapeno cheddar chips, pasta with minor subs (3)

- july 14th: 10 baby cookies, pasta with minor subs (4)

- july 15th: i ate most of the 14th pasta on the 15th and followed it with the remaining baby cookies (which are actually french butter cookies, not baby cookies. they look like baby cookies). i did not make pasta for the 15th.

- july 16th:.  pasta with minor subs (5)

- july 17th:  pasta with minor subs (6)

- july 18th (on the 19th):  pasta with minor subs (7)

- july 19th (on the 20th): cereal (one bowl of vector with all bran, paprika, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and an apple)

- july 20th (on the 21st): pasta with minor subs (8)

i'm going to say this one more time.

donald trump is not a master negotiator, he's an irrational buffoon. he's also a lame duck. his replacement will be less stupid.

canada's tactic should be to wait trump out, and not sign anything until he's gone.

i consider male facial hair to be a form of public obscenity. it's objectively disgusting, and there's no valid excuse for it. the science is clear that male facial hair is objectively unsanitary, and carries bacteria and diseases. that's the only thing of any importance, legally.

i'd have to see the text of a bill, but i would consequently support any law or bylaw that fines men for displaying facial hair longer than a very short specific length, as short as a cm, in public. i would also support any organization that instantly fires men for showing up to work with any level of visible facial hair, and don't think they have any sort of valid argument challenging getting fired for displaying facial hair, at all.

i think it's important that we set clear standards in the 21st century that reject male facial hair as unhygienic, unsanitary and entirely socially unacceptable.

trump seems to have a choice in front of him, but he might not be able to make it.

- if he does nothing, he's going to get overthrown by the far right.

- or, he can aggressively rebrand in the centre and try to push some of these crazy nutcases on the right out of power.

if trump lets himself get overthrown, a more serious problem may develop, as trump is not a right-winger, and that was the reason he won the nomination in the first place. trump has been blocking the right from retaking power for years, now. if trump gets pushed out, the floodgates open up.

i think this is maybe even a job to give to vance, to kind of clean the place up a little, and push the elements that are threatening to trump out of the party, before they start causing real problems.

there's little evidence that trump will make the right choices, here. he never does. so, his days are numbered, and what's coming might be even worse.

i'm going to call it cafe glower-mofo, because nobody eats werther's except grumpy old men.

this is how i'm going to suggest doing this.

- prepare coffee maker

- put three stale crispy crunches and three marshmallows in a pretty big coffee cup

- microwave for 33 seconds

- brew coffee while microwave is going

- dump hot coffee on microwaved gooeyness

- stir marshmallow is gone and crispy crunch is reduced to hard waver

- let sit for a while, stirring occasionally, until waver is mostly melted

- add milk

i'll try again later tonight.

i said caramilk.

they're crispy crunches. the problem is that they're rock hard like, suck candy hard. it's supposed to be crispy and crunchy, but it's like a hard candy that you suck on, instead. you can't eat these things.

i took three out of the package and wrapped each in a marshmallow and put them in a plate in the microwave for 33 seconds. i wanted to eat it with a knife and fork, like a pretentious shithead. the chocolate and marshmallow melted nicely, but the wafer could not be sawed through - not even with a butcher knife.

so, i'm back to putting crispy crunches and marshmallows together in the coffee. i have three of each in a single serving cup. no milk. let's see  how this melts.

right now, it looks like it's working exactly the way you'd expect a werther's would melt.

i'm not a dessert person. excluding my taste for caffeinated pop, which i've actually replaced with coffee, i eat very little sugar. i'm more of a bag of chips person than a cake and cookies person. i prefer salt to sugar, as a vice, but i don't eat much salt, either. when i do eat sugar, i'd rather eat fruit than candy.

but i don't want to throw this stuff away.

what i don't want to do is go overboard on it. i'll want to tone it down a little and eat it in smaller portions.

i think it's better to just take a marshmellow, a bit of pb and a mini caramilk and put it in the microwave and eat one or two of them at a time, so it lasts for a few weeks, rather than mix it all up in a bowl, make some pastry and then gain weight from it. 

however, i'll look at this differently next time. if i did make some kind of cookie or desert, i could cut it up into reasonable portions and eat a little every day.

i'm just not used to having these types of ingredients in the house. the ginger bread was actually pretty good, and didn't seem very sugary actually, but it might have been better to take the ginger bread, the butter cookies, the caramilk, the protein bars, the marshmallows and the peanut butter and mix it together, in hindsight. 

i've been avoiding the expired caramilk because it's just glassed over glucose. i can't even chew it. i think i kind of have to melt this down to even eat it, so the smores become a logical solution, in context.

i should have kept those cookies. i might have made st michel butter cookie peanut butter caramilk smores. with jam.

smores, i think, are the way to do this.

yes.

smores.

</evil laugh>. i don't know why.

you know, i also have peanut butter and two types of jam in addition to the caramilk and marshmallows.

hrmmn. 

if nietzsche were alive today, he'd be railing against gay marriage and transgenderism, and warning us it will destroy society, unless we repent.

nobody should read this guy. he was a moron.

this guy was a dumbass. he should be diagnosed with autism.

he lived in post-revolutionary europe, but couldn't get his mind out of the dark ages. the core of his writings is that he hypothesized that a cultural revolution that happened in the 1600s and 1700s might maybe happen some time in the future, unless we revert back to the religion that we threw away hundreds of years previously, as some kind of warning. he was utterly out of touch with reality around him. the people that knew him thought he was an idiot, and they were right.

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/ideas/nietzsche-passing-by-healthy-discourse-1.7434781

it's actually relieving that norad still works.

the bs aside, norad is important.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/us-fighter-jets-bc-alleged-plane-hijacking-1.7588750

the temperature fell to 13 overnight, i have the windows open and i slept comfortably in a sheet and a bikini. this is in contrast to waking up shivering from hypothermia a few weeks ago when it was 25 and needing to warm up in a winter quilt.

i was clearly drugged.

my pasta with minor subs is updated.

pre-prep

- on a large flat plate add -  four-five mini tomatoes, one half a red pepper (diced), one avocado (diced), two cloves of garlic, one carrot, one beet, one tbsp of oregano, one tbsp of thyme, one tbsp of basil, some fresh dill (chopped). add one tbsp of processed pesto (includes italian cheeses).

- chop 150 g of fresh pineapple into small squares on a small plate. i purchased four actual pineapples at reduced price at the grocery store across the street because they were ripe, which is a good thing (who wants crunchy pineapples? it's better if they're a little soft.). i should get around 900 g 750 g of usable fruit per pineapple. i'm on pineapple 2 of 4 and they are in fact nice and soft. somebody at the store really didn't get it.

- peel and segment one lime. chop each segment in half. put on same plate.

- slice and chop up 50 g of salami into small squares (i'm using spicy genoa sold in a 600 g amount).

- fry in olive oil margarine until a little crispy. 

- chop off the top of 25 g of broccoli florets and place on a small plate. place any stems in a bowl in the freezer, which is cumulative.

- grate 100 g of marble cheese

- weigh 110 g of dry pasta, preferably fettucine, but i will not be using fettucine for the foreseeable future. i went through three days of egg noodles and four days of fusilli. day eight will be half fusilli and half penne.

- cook to al dente in a covered pot.

preparation:

- add pasta on top of vegetables, right out of the pot. flatten pasta.

- add 1 tbsp of olive oil margarine on pasta.

- add pineapple and lime on top of that. flatten fruit.

- add salami or other meat on top of that. flatten meat.

- add 1 tbsp cumin, 1 tbsp nutritional yeast, 1 tbsp paprika, 1 tbsp hemp seeds, 1 tbsp sunflower seeds (or just chomp the last one). distribute these items evenly.

- add a lot of ceasar dressing (this is the pasta sauce), and bunch it up in the middle.

- add 1 tbsp of processed pesto

- add the grated marble cheese

- microwave for 2:00

- sprinkle crushed broccoli florets

- add frank's, black pepper, a tbsp of cayenne pepper (sprinkled).

 

served with

- serve with some bread and olive oil margarine. the food bank gave me a lot of bread, including garlic cheese buns (first up), a baguette (second) and a loaf of unsliced italian bread (third). i'm currently on the baguette and using five slices with margarine.

- serve with tall glass of 25% grapefruit, 75% orange juice

i've got two packages of caramilk bars, a package of marshmallows and a pile of jello packets.

fun should be had with that, i think. 

yeah.

let me think this through.

this is unacceptable.

he should immediately resign.

https://orthodoxtimes.com/ontario-mpp-jonathan-tsao-visited-archbishop-of-canada/

i think this is exactly how police should have responded.

https://www.thewhitehatter.ca/post/why-toronto-police-didnt-lay-charges-against-a-teen-who-created-ai-generated-porn

this is like salem all over again.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/sci-tech/article/ai-generated-child-sexual-abuse-images-are-spreading-law-enforcement-is-racing-to-stop-them/

simply being gross can't be enough to criminalize.

i think male facial hair is gross, and i'm right. somebody else might think trans people taking hormones is gross, and i don't give a fuck.

the basis of harm as necessary for a law to be enforceable is central to canadian law, which is why child pornography laws are frequently unenforceable in the court system. conservative mps keep passing laws that try to criminalize child porn because it's offensive, and the courts keep tearing them down because the issues at hand aren't generating any harm to any kids.

anything involving real kids in any way at all can't be allowed, but i can't see any harm in drawing pictures, or writing stories, or singing songs, and the court has upheld that point repeatedly. ai sounds like artistic expression and not like child exploitation, to me.

again - we'll have to see exactly what this guy actually did. but, don't be surprised if the court says something like "the court has no business in the imaginations of the nation".

i don't see the harm in generating sexually explicit computer images of kids for personal use.

you and i may agree it's gross, but who cares? we have to go back to mill on this, i think.

i would be less comfortable when a sale of the images takes place, and i would argue it shouldn't be allowed to be placed on a publicly accessible website, either.

the case law in the united states is apparently a lot stricter than r v sharpe in canada, which goes back to what i was saying about hate crime legislation not being about criminalizing speech. on most issues, i would think canada has broadly freer expression laws.

no, this needs to be thought through carefully.

for example, we could imagine a dream sequence in a film with an ai child exploitation sequence. is that pornography? it really shouldn't be. if it is, you send netflix to jail for distribution.

is this child porn?

it has to depend on what he's doing with it.

canadian jurisprudence might decide that ai child porn is free speech, if it is convincingly argued that nobody was harmed.

i think the issue is distribution.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R_v_Sharpe

there's actually a good chance that the courts in canada will drop these charges.

it depends on exactly what he did.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/calgary/article/breaking-alberta-football-coach-charged-with-using-ai-to-create-child-porn/

i'm imagining how i would react if somebody caught me at a coldplay concert.

i expected eno to be there! honest!

listen, i'm a socialist. i've always thought liberals were losers. but, this cultural flip puts us in the hardest position of all.

we used to very quietly flip elections here in canada by voting for the cultural hegemon on the capitalist left.

that's not going to work anymore if the proportions have flipped. it doesn't help us to support the bourgeois left if they're going to lose anyways, so why bother? that, however, places us in perpetual opposition, like in the united states. it's an unsettling proposition to imagine canada swinging hard to the right for the next 50 years because the kids hate liberals for taking away their fun, but we're on the brink of it.

one more time.

as mentioned, i think this is required to refocus. it will help me remember what i'm doing and what needs to be done.

- june 16th: doubled up salsa with chick peas, cheese, spices and vitamins.

- june 17th: onion soup bacon poutine

- june 18th: basic doritos nachos and french onon soup with bacon

- june 19th: doubled up salsa reprise

- june 20th: caesar salad without subs

- june 21st: 2nd onion soup poutine with onion soup and last chance salad

- june 22rd: 3rd onion soup poutine with onion soup with beets

- june 23rd: caesar salad without subs

- june 24th: caesar salad without subs

- june 25th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 26th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa

- june 27th: ad hoc pad thai

- june 28th: broccoli soup

- june 29th: fridge-clearing meal (oranges & garlic bread)

- june 30th: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 1st:    kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 2nd:  kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise

- july 3rd:  10 packages of instant oatmeal, in 5 installments. spaghetti-os + spices & vitamins (cumin, cayenne, pepper, oregano, paprika, sunflower seed, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, frank's).

- july 4th:  a can of stew and a can of corn, plus spices & vitamins.

- july 5th: a package of jasmine rice i had put aside as a quinoa sub (it probably isn't), with a can of peas and a can of tomato soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 6th: a can of beans cooked in a can of vegetable soup, plus spices and vitamins.

- july 7th:  two cans of chicken noodle soup, plus spices and vitamins. tim's xl double-double coffee in morning. two builders protein mini bars in evening. 7-11 coffee with jalapeno taquito late at night.

- july 8th: food bank junk food eat through - two bags of "real vegetable chips" (one big, one small), a bag of goldfish crackers, one mini crispy crunch, some strawberry licorice, prime energy drink, two tim horton's donuts, little ceasar's pepperoni pizza with unlabelled chocolate milk product.

- july 9th: another prime energy drink with another unlabelled chocolate milk product, unlabelled food bank ginger bread (two loaves)

- july 10th: pasta with minor subs (1), third energy drink, sour cream n cheddar chips

- july 11th: sour cream 'n' bacon, sour cream 'n' onion chips

- july 12th: more licorice, pasta with minor subs (2)

- july 13th: jalapeno cheddar chips, pasta with minor subs (3)

- july 14th: 10 baby cookies, pasta with minor subs (4)

- july 15th: i ate most of the 14th pasta on the 15th and followed it with the remaining baby cookies (which are actually french butter cookies, not baby cookies. they look like baby cookies). i did not make pasta for the 15th.

- july 16th:.  pasta with minor subs (5)

- july 17th:  pasta with minor subs (6)

- july 18th:  pasta with minor subs (7)

i tried the marshmallow coffee again today and while it did melt better, it didn't sweeten up the coffee very much. i guess it speaks to how strong my coffee is. it's not an espresso, but i'm taking about three ice cream scoops per 15ish oz cup.

i was going to use jello in the coffee too, because it's not food either, but now i don't know.

what else can i do with 20-30 marshmallows?

i am constantly getting spun around in circles by these disgusting losers. i need to catch up on my email and go through the narrative at the blog simultaneously. 

i've figured out what's wrong with my hair. it was just about cleaned out, and then they drugged me again. i've been going through hot flashes over the last few weeks, and sweating it out. i think it's just more pronounced this time, for some reason i don't want to guess at, but the testosterone is building up in my hair and essentially ruining it. the reason i've had such great hair for so long is that estrogen makes your hair stronger and softer.

these people are disgusting fucking retards. my great hair is of extreme importance to me; i don't give the slightest fuck about their disgusting fantasies.

i had to spend the day washing my hair, again, but it seems like it's washing through. they cannot continue to do this. it's revoltingly gross., and they're revoltingly gross people. when will they fucking learn?

i'm beyond sick of this.

he would, of course, just pardon himself. and he would.

following the precedent set by biden, he could even pardon himself for any future indictments, that haven't yet been defined.

i mean, this is how trump thinks. these are the things trump is likely actually concerned about.

i'm not sure he'd even care if there was evidence of him having sex with a 17 year old from twenty years ago. my read is that there isn't, but i don't think it's what he's actually thinking about.

the other thing you should realize about epstein and trump is that this is the trump show. this is not the epstein show. do you think he wants to get upstaged by this dead guy?

i'm also thinking about what would happen next if the fbi actually released a list of wealthy pedophiles.

the answer is they'd all fly to countries where the us justice system can't get them, like russia or china. 

that can't be what anybody actually wants.

rather, if you want to catch anybody that the department has a lead on, it's better to let them explore the lead on their own terms, and wait until they can move to indict.

i mean, maybe there's a basic disconnect here. this isn't a political issue. this is a legal issue. it's not about ruining the political lives of anybody involved, it's about trying to press charges against them.

this request to release a list of people the fbi is investigating consequently doesn't make any sense, unless you're on the list and want to know to flee the country.

why exactly is it that democrats care so much about muslims and so little about the poor?

because muslims have better lobbyists.

that is the actual truth.

the reason that politicians seek the influence of muslim voters, and powerful muslim lobby groups that often represent foreign governments rather than local voters, is precisely because they have large amounts of money to contribute to their political campaigns. that's the point. the arab blood money has deep, deep pockets.

transgendered people are a repressed minority on this continent, and increasingly so.

muslims are not. they are a part of the elite.

the reason trump won in 2016 was because he was the centrist candidate. rubio, cruz and kasich were far right. he swung to the extremes in the election to get the vote out and it worked. it's never been where he is in the spectrum. he's always been a liberal republican.

he's a lame duck now.

he should rebrand back to the center and try to take some of these freaks down.

if there's some conflict developing between pam bondi and the maga losers, trump should fire the maga losers. ms bondi appears to be the only person around him that is halfways educated and moderately bright. she's an asset. people like laura loomer and marjorie taylor greene are liabilities.

in fact, it might be good for the country for trump to primary some of these losers and get rid of them.

maybe we should just donate all the cheap steel to russia, or to starving construction firms in africa.

again.

what they're doing is trying to build a wall around a us-canada economic zone by unilaterally aligning with us policy in the hopes the white house will change it's mind, and it's so delusional and stupid that it's borderline treason. that is the way this should increasingly be looked at, as the canadian government continues to make decisions that are not in the best interests of canadians.

is the construction industry complaining that the cost of steel is too low?

what the fuck?

it's not a problem. it's cheap capital input.

we should take as much cheap steel as we can get. it will lower prices.

why are we so fucking stupid? do we want inflation?

https://www.bnnbloomberg.ca/tariffs/2025/07/18/understanding-canadas-moves-to-block-cheap-steel-imports/

don't let their propaganda confuse you. you're being brainwashed.

they represent a far right, extremely social conservative political agenda that wants to turn the clocks back to the dark ages. as hitchens said, they pose as victims, but they aren't. they masquerade on the left, but they don't exist in it. they have tremendous wealth, tremendous influence and tremendous power. they pose a serious threat to the secular foundations of western democracy that needs to be taken seriously and blocked before it gets a toehold on power, which they will use to enforce their religion on everybody.

i don't want people of any faith making political decisions; i don't care if you're a christian, a muslim, a hindu, a jew, a sikh, whatever. if i think you believe in god, i won't vote for you. if you tell me you believe in god, i'll campaign against you.

i've been targeted by muslims here in windsor, but i might have been targeted by christians, and i wouldn't react differently if it was christians that were attacking me. that's not what i'm dealing with.

we need to address this problem head on, to ensure that our secular political institutions don't get taken over by backwards religious ideologies. it's imperative and sort of an emergency, and it's going to remain that way for at least a generation, until we can find some way to strip muslim immigrants of their faith, and assimilate them into the secular culture. that's going to be a serious challenge, but we succeeded in secularizing the irish and italians and jews and forcing them to abandon their faiths and we will succeed in secularizing the muslims and stripping them of their faith, too.

in the short run, until they are assimilated, they can't be in government making decisions. i would not welcome them, as i would not welcome christians, and i would not welcome jews or sikhs. 

if you let them turn the clocks back, they will. for now, we still have a democracy, and we can still use it to keep them out of power.

muslims are one of the most successful demographic groups in the country.

there is no systemic discrimination against muslims in north america. there is, however, a lot of healthy apprehension about the consequences of allowing people that adhere to religious ideologies to make political decisions, and that apprehension should be adhered to.

if it turns out that new yorkers decide they don't want to be ruled by a muslim, that's a valid expression of democracy, and one i'd be in agreement with.

there's nothing wrong with that, and americans should take offense to and push pack against the idea that there is. the west has already been through the difficult process of being colonized by and getting rid of christianity; it has good reason to want to learn from it's mistakes, and not want to turn the clocks back to christian hegemony.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/jul/18/zohran-mamdani-islamophobia-new-york-mayor

what trump actually did with epstein is likely equivalent to behaving like an immature, wealthy 25 year old male, when he was 50. there's likely dozens or hundreds of reasons for him to be ashamed and embarrassed, in hindsight. i don't suspect there's many reasons to send him to jail.

what is my reading on this?

my reading on this is that it was trump that went after epstein in the first place. trump is obviously trying to hide something, but it might be the opposite of what you think.

i don't doubt that trump probably has some skeletons in his closet. i think he's gay. however, my perception is that that's just exactly the point - it was trump that had the data to put epstein away, not the other way around. look at the women that trump has spent time with publicly, and compare them to ghislaine maxwell.

my guess is that trump is embarrassed and rightfully so and that he would have been a key witness against epstein, but i strongly doubt that he has much to answer for himself. that's my perception.

want better answers? subpoena melania.

why exactly would the fbi have a client list for jeffrey epstein?

did epstein keep an excel file of pedophiles on his laptop?

does this actually make any sense?

you'd think that if there's some collection of data in the form of wires, etc it would be more complex than a list.

i want you to think about this the other way around.

perhaps these guys were fbi spooks doing psy ops in the first place. 

isn't that the only thing that makes sense?

to me, this is a bigger story.

this woman lived such an awful life. i sincerely hope that the people that harmed her are held to account and brought to justice.

i actually believe trump. he didn't write this letter.

that doesn't matter. he's done.

you're fired, donald.

now, who's running the pentagon? rupert murdoch? fuck.

don coyote thought he signed a good deal with the uk.

well, now you've gone and done it, you've pissed off rupert murdoch.

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/story/rupert-murdoch-media-empire-trump-tariffs