i'm awake, so i'm going to finally clean that bathroom fully.

the question is if they ever got to hudson's bay.

if they found a way to get to hudson's bay, the whole continent opens up.

there is actually a fair amount of evidence suggesting early contact between europeans and the northern indigenous groups like the cree in the form of r1* genes in the indigenous population. the initial explanation i was given for this was the hudson's bay company, but the prevalence is so high that it suggests something earlier. and, we've even seen theories develop that suggest a saami origin for some indigenous groups, rather than a movement over the bering strait. 

the reality is that we know there were r1* carriers in the region quite a long time ago, and a norse origin is the easiest answer.

i know the kensington stone is a fake, but the idea appears to be grounded.

so, if i don't have a lot of blood, and i use it all to digest the food i'm eating, the result is i don't have enough free blood to stay warm. so, it's less about atp and more about rbc.

really, though? i can't get more blood than that?

c'mon, body. i just gave you 20-25 mg of iron. fucking convert it to blood already.

what a weird night lost in limbo.

so, i finally woke myself up around 4:00 only to realize i was starving. so, i made pasta....and caught a chill and then fell asleep eating it.

why am i getting cold while i'm eating? is the digestion requiring more energy than i'm taking in?

my stool is very healthy looking, if continually red due to the beets, tomatoes, red peppers, cayenne, carrots & paprika. it's just tons of red and orange, and it ends up looking that way. but, it's well formed. there's nothing trailing.

i see no evidence that i'm bleeding. really. or, at least not from the bum...maybe from the brain...

likewise, if i have a parasite, it's not obvious.

it's a bone-chilling cold, too - not  in my hands or feet, but in my bones. it's making me wonder about leukemia.

i need to keep an eye on those eosinophils...

just to update where i am on the fall of civilizations run through...

i have watched both of these videos and don't have much to add. 

i knew the easter island narrative was a myth, but it's nice to see it get a full treatment and i learned a few things watching this. if you're still following the false narrative, you should give this a run through:

i only had a vague outline of cambodian history when i watched this and the only comment i have is that i learned quite a bit about it by watching it. i didn't realize the region was hindu before it was buddhist, for example. as is the case with a number of these, the multidisciplinary nature of the narrative is appreciated, although he did say a few things that struck me as more mythical than factual.

norse history is something i know a little more about, but the first half of that episode seems to be fairly cursory. conversely, i think i know that story a little too well to benefit from watching an introduction like that. but, we'll see how he closes it and if i have anything to add:

the mayan collapse is again going to be the things of myth, but we'll see what he says. i'm legitimately curious about what he says about the bronze age collapse. and, i'm probably ideologically opposed to his take on the "collapse of roman britain", which i'd interpret as an indigenous revolt against a colonial entity, but we'll see what he says.

i've pointed out before that these ancient demos, while very crude, also seemed to click into a few things - there's tracks that pre-date gybe! and seem to foreshadow it, tracks that sound like man man from as far back as 1997, tracks that are basically 90s emo without me having any idea what 90s emo was at the time, etc, etc...

i guess my head was in the same space as radiohead at the same time as radiohead, too.

fwiw, my records suggest that skaters was completely finished before ok computer was released. even i pulled that influence out, but it seems to be wrong. and, fwiw, i was a little slow to pick up on radiohead; i didn't like the britpop thing, in general, and kind of had them miscategorized. i thought fake plastic trees was terrible, but i loved street spirit when i heard it - and that's what actually got me interested. that was at the very end of the cycle for the bends, and nearly when ok computer had been released.

paranoid android was released early, and it was everywhere when it was, but i really hadn't heard anything like this when i recorded skaters, despite it seeming like i had.

so, what was the actual influence?

it was probably more something like this:

...or this:

today's post is inri006.

===

the christmas of 1997 was a good one. in addition to getting a four-track recorder to multitrack with, i also ended up with a jx-8p for my birthday, which is in early january. now that i could use the computer a little bit, i decided that i was finally ready to do some serious recording. 

i had committed myself to reapproaching the first demo tapes and rerecording certain tracks to reflect the uplift that they got from the drum machine; that is, i had already dramatically rewritten most of the tracks around the drum machine, so i felt i should rerecord them. now, i was going to need to uplift some of those tracks a second time with synthesizer parts. i knew which tracks i wanted to approach and how, but i wanted to ease myself in a little. so, i picked a new track as my first synthesizer experiment. 

that is a large part of what this track is. i had the lyrics pre-written, actually, and knew that i wanted a spooky kind of atmosphere to the track. so, i was approaching the synth with the question of how to manipulate it into sounding "haunted". that may seem trivial, but please realize that i had never seen an actual synthesizer before - i'd just always used the presets on my sister's electronic piano. it was a small victory to get the patch by increasing the sustain on the preset, but it was a hard-fought battle. 

after i got the track mixed down through the 4-track and mastered into the pc by sending the signal into the back of the soundblaster, some listening had me wishing that i had slowed the tape down a little. the track is a kind of a child's understanding of the existential, which i just felt would be more aesthetically in balance if i slowed the tape down and made it seem a bit more mournful. so, i wanted to go back and remaster it with the speed set a little slower. 

i decided i should test it by slowing the track down digitally, first. what i was trying to do was get an estimate to use to remaster it at a different speed. i took a guess on half-speed to try and was going to incrementally reduce the reduction through trial and error until i got to a good point. then, i could set the tape speed by ear. i did not go through that process; i stopped at half-speed. for several weeks in 1998, the half-speed version was the final product for the track. i believe i even uploaded it to mp3.com slowed down this way. 

i just instantly stopped at half-speed because, while the effect was more exaggerated than intended, that exaggeration was to greater effect than i imagined. i wasn't expecting the guitars to get that grungy, or the vocals to get that deep. when i heard it, though, i knew that this was the track. 

in the end, i reverted back to the normal speed version, but this was done with much internal division. the reason that this is the last track on the demo is because i was holding out for space for the lengthier version. it was only due to a combination of space requirements and pull for conformity of sound through the demo that had me relent at the very end. 

in hindsight, i do think that the short version fits better on the flow of the cd, and it will remain there - minus the vocals. yet, i also think that this slowed down version deserves it's own document. i've slowed down two other versions of the track, as well, to drag out the fun. the album version closes this collection. 

originally created in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed in the summer of 2015 and then manipulated further in the summer of 2016. released & finalized on july 7, 2016. hidden track added and re-finalized on july 18, 2016. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version of this track appears on my first record, inri (inri015): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3 

this recording is a part of the following collections: 

1) inriℵ0: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-dvd-disc-volume-1 

2) inriℵ1: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-box-set 

3) inriℵ4: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/mp3-dvd-disc-volume-1 

5) inriℵ6: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1 

6) inriℵ17: jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-bd-disc-volume-1 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1998, 2013, 2015, 2016). 

released january 22, 1998 

j - guitars, effects, bass, synths, drum programming, vocals, digital wave manipulation, production

i'm not much of a man, trust me.

for right now, i'm feeling floaty and kind of shitty, but i don't want to go to sleep until i can finish cleaning in the bathroom and take a shower. so, i'm nodding off in my chair, and have been since around 19:00.

so, i intended to take a nap yesterday afternoon and be up within a few hours to eat, but instead slept until almost 21:00. 

then, i wanted to stay up all night and finish cleaning everything, but i was essentially only awake long enough to eat, and then fall asleep again, until close to 9:00.

i did stay awake for most of the day and was able to 

- finish most of the laundry

- prepare and measure the wood for cutting (tomorrow, apparently)

- lysol the walls a few times, to varying effects

- silicon around the front door, which was the last really bad spot in the apartment, i think

- put a back on the second bookcase, by cutting up the cardboard box the table was mailed in.

so, when i get the wood cut, the only thing i'll have left to do in the bedroom is fill some of the cracks in with some wood filler. but, i'll need to wait until april.

further, i've got everything back in order in the studio, and can get back to placing items in their proper place. there is just one thing left to do first, which is thoroughly clean the bathroom. i intended on finishing that this evening, but i've been having difficulty keeping my eyes open.

is it the drugs upstairs? i actually can't tell anymore. i've blocked so many cracks and holes that it's down to a dull, background smell. but, my tolerance is so low that it might still be triggering. and, i mean, it's still gross in terms of background odour - it's a seriously unpleasant odour. but, it's muted. a lot....

i don't know what to do next. i could maybe silicon the crack between the ceiling and the wall, but i need to trace what's left of the smell, first.

i wanted this all done by yesterday morning, and was hoping to set up the recording pc this weekend. it looks like that will need to wait until next week, instead, and that i'm probably just going to get done the cleaning by the end of the weekend.

male homosexuality is a dominant, aggressive kind of thing. there's no room for passive little bitches like me.

and, i wouldn't be into it, anyways.