i don't have a lot of positive things to say about the bush family, but i can't imagine what tomorrow looks like after 73 years.

that's something deserving of empathy, regardless of the topic of conversation.

i mentioned this the other day into my vlog camera. it'll come up to youtube, one day.

i'm walking by a cemetery and there's this old woman howling at the gravestone. i'm thinking to myself...

you howled at this poor bastard every day for how many years, and then you show up to his gravestone to keep at it? jesus, lady. it says rest in peace.

i'm an asshole, and i have a dark sense of humour, but i'm not heartless. and, the thought crosses my mind: i'm glad i'll never have to deal with that.

i could barely handle breaking up with somebody after a couple of years.

after 73 years? i don't think i'd make it a day.

not even if i hated the fucker, in the end.

the person that i smoked most often with as a teenager used to get it from his older brother.

we had a bit of a falling out, and the next friend i met got it from somebody he got in contact with through his older brother.

i was the oldest, and my dad wouldn't admit it, so i didn't have any contacts - i had to rely on my friends for it.

this is the reality: kids get it from family members or the family members of friends, not shady weirdos on school playgrounds. and, no amount of regulation, however well meaning, will stop somebody from smoking their kids or younger siblings, or their friends, when they feel the time is right.

my dad claimed he quit years ago, although i caught him red-eyed a few times. he wouldn't admit it; he had some kind of weird thing about it.

but, the first person i saw smoke a joint was my friend's dad. i think we were in the 7th grade - late, because i was a little sheltered, growing up on a military base.

a few years later, that same friend would bring pot to school and smoke it at lunch. and where'd he get it from? his dad.

this is the whole point, guys. it's a part of the culture. it's not some shady thing. the idea is that we can better address health & safety issues by normalizing and destigmatizing it on a legal level - while putting more of a focus on how absurdly unhealthy it is.

the idea that kids should be - or even could be - kept away from marijuana is simply not realistic. it is far too deeply embedded in the culture for this.

which is obvious.

so, why isn't it obvious to the premier?

ugh.

you know where kids get exposed to pot from, first and foremost?

their parents.

that's actually pretty normal.

i hate everybody the same, though; i'm an equal opportunity hater.

things like physical characteristics or ideological leanings won't make me hate you more or less.

i will acknowledge that i'm relatively good at pretending that i like people.

but, trust me: i don't like you.

at all.

i'm a humongous introvert.

i don't have any friends.

so, finding drugs is a difficult process. i have to go talk to people, pretend i like them, even hang out with them for a little while, sometimes.

i'd rather just go to the fucking store.

that's the point. that's why casual users support legalization: because we don't like the social requirements attached to finding drugs.

so, you've got this completely backwards.

i'm sorry.

i don't even know where it came from. was it my profile pic? the fact that i'm vocally pro-legalization?

did you have some desire to uphold me as a high-functioning drug addict?

all of it was a lie - but it wasn't a lie i told. i was clear about the truth, whenever i could be.

i am not and never have been a pothead. i've only ever smoked sporadically and recreationally. once in a while - and generally sparingly.

very little of the writing i've done has been under the influence of drugs. that's a false perception, and one i've never perpetuated - the misunderstanding is 100% on your side.

and, if you think about it, it's really the casual users that benefit the most from legalizing the drug, as we don't buy large amounts in bulk, anyways - we don't mind if we overpay a little, because we don't buy much, anyways. what's more important to us is being able to find it on the rare occasion we want to, because we don't have dealers and don't know where to go to find it.

heavy smokers generally tend to be pessimistic about this, and largely ok with the status quo. it's the infrequent users that want this to happen.

it's not my fault. i told you - again and again and again. you didn't listen.

there's an old cliche about not judging a book by it's cover. i suppose this needs to be updated slightly, but the idea is no less valid: don't judge an individual by their memes.

i shouldn't have slept another 10 hours this morning, and i'm actually going to blame it on the weather. we got some snow overnight...

all i can do is get going.

and, now, i'll have to put off eating until i get through the month, however long it takes.

also - for those that are curious, there will, in fact, be a youtube / music review blog, and it will go over all of the music discussions that i've skipped at the two existing blogs.

but, this will only become relevant when i launch the music review site, and that won't be for years, probably.

yes. there will be a point in the mid 2020s where i'll post youtube comments from 2014 to a blogspot archive - along with facebook posts from 2009.

the existing focus is really on building liner notes for inri000-inri074, and then tying them altogether into the aleph discs.

that gets me through november, 2015, which was still a heavy posting month. it took ten days to finish, but i didn't spend most of those 10 days posting, so, if i can keep up that kind of productivity, i could be done december in a day or two.

i didn't get my blast of smoke tonight around 21:30. that's a positive. i think i should be alert for a good while, then.

this is taking a long time, and i kind of knew it would, but it's not a choice i have to make. i need to at least follow this through up to mid 2016 in order to finish the liner notes for inri000. and, given that i'm coming up on inri015 in the alter-reality, that's going to push me through until late 2016, at least.

also, keep in mind that the next things to do are to finish the aleph discs, as well. the period 1 aleph disc should be ready to ship by the end of 2020. so, i'd might as well just push through.

i'll look back on this in a few years and be glad i did it.