bird's eye view (sounder mix)

this is a sounder sequence, which was rendered some time in late 2002. i've dated the file to december 25, 2002. published on may 19, 2015.

this actually gets to the point of why i don't like to use the term "apartheid", and prefer to use the term "genocide".

when you start thinking in terms of israel being an "apartheid state", it's correct to conclude that it's unstable. no slave state has ever been stable. it's the actual reason we don't support slavery in "western liberal democracies" - it just doesn't work, in the long run.

but, when you start understanding the situation in terms of genocide, a different logic asserts itself. there is a way out of the logic of inevitable collapse. that is, if you take a step back and look at all of the options, you're left with a much more disturbing choice. it's true that the state is ultimately unsustainable, as it is. that means israel has the option of dismantling itself, or killing the palestinians off.

now, standing up and stating that is going to produce an immediate emotional reaction for a number of reasons on a number of levels, and that's fine - i think any halfways empathetic person has no choice but to react that way. but, if you look at the situation with a cold, analytical eye, it begins to seem less and less outrageous with every israeli action. from the continuing colonization of the occupied areas, to the continued imprisonment of gaza, it really would be obvious that that's the path israel is following - if it weren't too ghastly to consider.

unfortunately, surrounding countries like egypt are more likely to collaborate than intervene.

people are going to look back and wonder why nobody saw it coming.

right. so the answer isn't restricting voluntary association - private or not - but abolishing the concentration of capital into small amounts of hands. the problem is private property. that's some confusing a symptom for a cause, alright.

stuck in the middle of a slow electronic orchestra playing on all sides

so, i've appended a mix to inri024.

written late 2000 & early 2001. rearranged, rendered and faded out on apr 27, 2014. further remixed for the ambient works on may 19, 2015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/stuck-in-the-middle-of-a-slow-electronic-orchestra-playing-on-all-sides

i've also decided that i need to prioritize getting over the final "not smoking" hump. i've been in this transitory state with this for...years...where i'll quit for a month, go back for a month, cut down, quit, pick up...

a lot of it has to do with focusing. nicotine increases alertness. that's well understood.

i'm convinced the swallowing issues i'm having are not exactly from smoking, but are probably the beginning symptoms of ms. but, if you have ms, the worst thing you can do is smoke.

so, i'm going to the doctor tomorrow or the next day to get the ball rolling on that. i've done enough experiments with not smoking, not drinking coffee, increasing water, etc to conclude it's the rational next step.

ironically, it will also help my financial situation if i can get diagnosed with it. that's permanent. capitalism: that system where you hope you get auto-immune disorders as a path to economic freedom.

there's two ways i can get over that week hump: (1) get sick and (2) focus on reading/writing. just about anything else requires that focus.

so, the next thing i'm going to do - before i start the lost symphony - is to migrate all of this into a new website.

i've been trying to get off facebook for quite some time. it's going to take a while to get off of it. but, it's what i need to do next.

this isn't just going to go quiet, it's going to more or less disappear. i'm going to need a more open journal interface to embed in my appspot site. facebook is just awful in every way. livejournal, maybe. tumblr. even blogspot. i'll have to see what works best. or i may even just hardcode it...

this will be reduced to a sort of cv, that uses the timeline in a minimal manner. you'll be able to scroll through and see major releases. but, i won't be posting here much longer.