so, i went back to the day of the arrest and am building a shadow karen document, although that document will need to be rewound to include the fight with the smokers in the previous space. it's just intended as a starting point.

i've done that because it lets me reconstruct the logic in restarting the alter-reality, which i'm hoping to do on thursday.

the thing is that i'd want to start around may to do the food thing.

i'm already in mid-march with the pandemic thing.

i'd might as well retrace my steps...

any further back than that, and i'm starting something new and want to wait.

this is a draft item dated to august 31, 2020. i will need to adhere to it and also to pick back up on it. this is evolving.

i have to go back to the start of the pandemic to make sense of this, but i'm only doing it three days of the week. so, yes - i'll be rebuilding the pandemic document after all.

---

so, what i've done is start at the beginning and, whenever i see a thread in one of the blogs, have noted it, with the hope of maintaining consistency and completeness, godel be damned. the blogs will each morph, now, to better fit these threads.

this should help everybody understand the differences between these blogs, which i'm only beginning to fully grasp, myself.

politics - general blog with a focus on current events:
- life narrative. feelings. events. reflections. dialogues. stories.
- essays. rants. comments. short stories, notes, reactions to quotes.
- philosophical reflections
- political activism
- lectures exclusive
- debates
- news reports exclusive (except sarcasm)
- mathematical & scientific analysis, of varying levels
- historical analysis
- cultural analysis
- economic analysis
- legal analysis
- thoughts on geopolitics & current events
- blogs of any sort, really
- any excerpts of existing texts
- anything published to the appspot site, including cd reviews, concert reviews & music web
- food blog
- all official music releases (including music videos)
- some extra discussions outside of the main narrative
- persies
- benchmark discs
- reviews of substantive influences in real time
- concerts
- headphones
- posts about isps & network topology
- installation files & scripts
- posts about non-musical celebrities, and about some newsworthy musical celebrities
- theory of art sequence
- other youtube videos posted and/or commentary around them should have some kind of relevance to one of these categories
- general commentary about web pages and their uses (with personal use commentary, too)

music journal - personal reflections on the process of writing and recording music, including full documentation when possible:
- life narrative. feeling, events. reflections. dialogues.
- studio narrative
- cover art
- all official music releases
- damaged cds are part of the narrative.
- computer troubleshooting is a part of the narrative
- cleaning the studio. scripting machines.
- benchmark discs / obligatory influentials / comment threads about influences
- reviews of new records by selected artists that are of specific historical influence
- rap news series
- some obituaries of direct or indirect influences
- no appspot reviews, but reviews of new music affecting me as i'm recording.
- concerts
- persies
- headphones
- installation files & files created when recording
- posts about isps & network topology (ends after getting isp access)
- posts about personal social media sites
- posts about music theory or music history or music as any other academic interest
- posts about music production, gear, equipment, etc
- posts about the guitar, the development of the guitar, guitar music history, specific guitarists, etc
- comments where i drop my own music
- comments where i present biographical information in a way that is relevant to understanding my influences and development as an artist
- theory of art sequence
- concepts that relate to topics explored in songs
- some excerpts of existing texts as they are relevant to art or my artistic development
- discussions with people inquiring about the music

dtk - general media commentary in it's fullest abstraction:
- any posts containing music videos of any sort
- any youtube videos or comments around videos except those that are considered official new sources
- tv show & film excerpts
- news source allowed for light content or content about music or media criticism
- interviews with musicians or authors, but not speeches or lectures, or news reports.
- posts with pictures or comments on pop culture or music, broadly, including pop culture authors (interpret broadly)

- so comments about popular authors or philosophers, and my own views on well known philosophical concerns.
- media commentary & criticism
- cds, cd reviews, cd collections, etc
- anything posted to the appspot site as a review
- music web
- official original album releases
- spontaneous song lyrics
- minimal personal commentary (almost none).
- no persies, except profile updates.
- gaming exclusive
- posts about isps & network topology
- any paintings & cover art
- release dates
- animal vids
- general commentary about web pages and their uses (but not personal use commentary)
- headphones sequence
- border stuff because of concerts
- concerts
- not considered official news sources: vice news, fox news.
- posts about music theory or music history or music as any other academic interest
- comments on articles about music and art in any abstraction
- some excerpts of existing texts as they are relevant to art or culture, broadly
- some (usually ironic) self-referential comments about my posting habits

travel - any posts about leaving the house and things done when leaving the house
- posts made to facebook, blogger, etc from somewhere physically outside the house or about things that happened outside of the house
- travel blog needs to be more about action scenes, and less about documenting every time i leave the house. so, actually try to avoid posts that just mention going somewhere, and make it more about the narrative of actually going somewhere.
- should avoid planning posts
- should include reflections on travelling or moving
- reflections, interactions or thoughts made while walking
- reflective posts made about the weather in the context of being out
- thoughts about the weather happening outside
- some imaginary traveling, or projecting traveling ideas
- posts about isps & network topology
- persies for going out only
- border stuff because of concerts
- concerts
- posts about time zones
- posts about odsp renewal
- posts about dr's offices
- posts about groceries & diet. food blog. garbage posts.
- posts about buying & shipping items online
- initial headphones sequence, as a purchase
- climate change rants that are about the actual weather
- stomach ache posts
- air conditioning posts & posts about inside weather
- posts about neighbourhood cats and other local animal sightings or experiences, including insects and parasites in the house
- quitting smoking posts, marijuana posts, hormones posts, other drug posts [all personal use or reflections]
- reactions to mail
- space travel, electric vehicles & other forms of transportation
- bicycle posts

in celebration of almost getting back to work in finishing the discography, which picks back up in 2003, i'm going to post each release in chronological order, one per day.

we start with inri000.

===

these are the first demos i recorded, written 1994-1996 and recorded in the second half of 1996. this corresponds to the end of my 15th year and the beginning of my grade 10 school year. on the one hand, it's an intriguing document of a socially maladjusted teenage punk. on the other hand, it's a 15 year-old kid learning how to use a recording studio (and how to play the drums). influences are displayed on my sleeve just a little too loudly at times. 

i was attempting to create something that could be described by the words disturbing, schizophrenic, unique, bizarre, twisted. looking back, i think i succeeded more than i realized at the time. this is a difficult listen that would be appealing to fans of the obscurantist reaches of 80s punk and 90s grunge. i manage to maintain a strange sense of melody, though. in truth, my current adult self is somewhat impressed with my teenaged self at this current point. 

that being said, it should not be forgotten that i was fifteen. i am at times rather crude, and i display a childlike understanding of certain issues. most poetry written at the age of fifteen is not particularly insightful. again, though, i surprise myself at points. 

this is the first time i'm publishing these demos in any form. i've remained frighteningly self-conscious of them over the years. over the last seventeen years, the audience has been extremely limited. initial reactions suggested i take some time to perfect my performance skills, particularly my drumming skills. however, this indicated a lack of understanding of my intent in the overall sound. the playing is quite purposefully abstract with the aim of exploring mental illness. 

the demos were initially dub-mastered onto a 110 minute tape that would have flipped after the eighth track. that tape was at some point recorded into a soundblaster and compressed very heavily; this is the only source of the material that i still have. so, i had to decompress the files from those 128 (or worse) kbps mp3s and run them through some digital mastering equipment in an attempt to "undo" the compression. what that is is a half-effective trick to recover data that is in actuality forever lost. nonetheless, i should point out that while these files were recorded entirely in 1996, they were substantially digitally modified in late 2013. finalized on june 26, 2016. first liner note release added on sept 30, 2019 and updated on dec 22 & 23, 2019. as always, please use headphones. 

i consider this an archival release with little direct listening value. i've pointed out repeatedly that i was 15. however, various segments have been isolated and pulled out for a higher listenability value over here: 

jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inricycled-a 

this release also includes a printable j-card insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries in doc & pdf from all phases of production (1993-1996, 2013-2019). as of sept 30, 2019, the release includes a 47 page booklet that includes journal entries from the remastering process over sept-oct, 2013. as of dec 22, 2019, it also includes an html version of the same journal with an interactive html5 frontend. as of dec 23, 2019 the booklet is now 50 pages and encompasses sept-nov, 2013. some typos in the liner notes were corrected on jan 26, 2020. 

released December 25, 1996 

j - guitars, effects, bass, drums, vocals, keyboards, tapes, found sounds, percussion, production.

i got some rest, in two spurts. so, i'll be sitting and typing for a few hours, until i get through some coffee.

the main cop was gone all week but came back last night. at first, the smell cleared out - as it often does when he comes in. but, now, the marijuana smell has been replaced by the smell of cheap cigars. it's not the first time that's happened, and he's acknowledged he smokes them, although denies he smokes them inside. and, i suppose there's some chance he is smoking them outside. but, they're rank.

my table is stuck in kitchener due to a "missort", whatever that means. i'll have to get on the phone tomorrow, i guess.

in the mean time, i finished fixing the bookcase in the bedroom, after a few false starts. 

and, it's time to get back to it, after i do a little extra cleaning.

these are the following draft posts that will be finished simultaneously:

- a clean-up post for the fluoride, because i caught some arithmetic errors.

- a total amino acid post where i combine all of the existing amino acid posts and the still to be written ones into a major update in the chart, which more or less takes me to the end of this

- a complete fruit bowl post where i post everything

- the document at google drive, which is being compiled at the one drive site

there are four further unpublished posts that have to do with the 2013 rebuild.

so, the place is almost as clean as it was when i brought those shelves in last week. almost.

the 16-bit pc has been placed in the space on a bookend table, beside one of the speakers. the kvm is sitting on top of it, and i'll need to connect it the next time i turn it on. it's a shame it takes power, but whatever.

i've moved the 32-bit pc back where it was, which is close to but not in it's resting spot. i need to rebuild it, first - and i'm currently rebuilding it temporarily.

one of the two bookshelves had a back, but the nails were mostly missing. i ran around the back with some finishing nails. while you can see crumbly particleboard if you look, it's almost as good as new - i just need to screw the wobbly top piece back in place by rescrewing it beside the old broken screw. so, yeah - you'll be able to tell if you look at it. but, who cares? it's been scrubbed down, and it's otherwise ready to put some books and cds on it....as soon as it gets some shelves.

i finally took apart that old chest thing that i had converted into a headboard, and has since just flat out broken. by my account, i should get roughly 6 shelves out of it,  and could potentially get a few other things out of it. these walls are full of pre-existing holes. it'll make it easy to screw a couple of pieces of wood in as loose shelves, and i might need it.

the table is in kitchener, apparently. that's about a three hour drive. so, i'll need to set the two tables up when it gets here, and then have space to set things back up on that side of the apartment, as well.

for now, i'm going to eat....

and, then we're back to this, hopefully quickly - the last update was actually not february but back on january 30th:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vdvEPJ8NtNUbuPItFour9gJdFa4Yy0gE/view?usp=sharing

so, that was absolutely the right install disc - it picked up the drivers and even installed the old software i remembered. perfect. 

i was able to get the network card installed by pointing it to the e:\win98 directory when it asked - simple but not obvious.

there was a root usb hub that wouldn't install, and i think i just went over the max number of installable hubs. it hardly matters, because windows 98 can't pick up flash drives, pretty much at all.

but, the partition is essentially perfectly installed at this point - i just need recording software. and, what i'll be using is cool edit as the crux.

i'll get back to it in a few days. for now, i want to clean a little in here before it gets to 7:00 and then shift to the diet writeup, as i left it off last month. that's my task this week - to get as much of that done as i can. and, it's an easier process.

that will let me finish the posts i left off with.

in order to restart in 2013 and move forwards, i need to get the recording pc running again. for now. what i need is some way to boot into a functional windows xp....the version on the 9x machine won't be it.

in order to do that, i had to setup the xp machine first.

and, i still have tons of cleaning to do, too. the table should be here today,....

i'm going to want to compile some extra exe files for specific sound applications that only run on this platform and in the end burn everything to a single dvd for backup, but once i get the video card installed i'm going to put this way until next friday because i'm serious about splitting my time up and sticking to it and i need to shift back to finishing up the food blog before i can get back to 2013.

put another way, i have a series of half-written posts and need to finish them before i move on.

so, i'm burning the ati iso to disc, and i think that the modem should install if i tell it to use a "generic ne2000" driver.

so, i think this is the file i want.

https://archive.org/details/ati-international-installation-cd-ver.-101

i can probably check it on xp first.

while i believe i had heard each of these stories on their own, this is also perhaps the first time i'd heard them all pieced together into a narrative, and this is useful in that sense, even if the narrative is scattered. i suppose that there's a civilizational complex underlying the various rulers, but this doesn't seem to have been a unified state or a national identity.

rather, i wonder if there isn't a struggle against the colonizing force of islam hidden in the narrative, as there is a struggle against christianity in so much of the history of northern europe. as he was going through this, i had that feeling of having heard this before - the outpost of the established religious empire, casting the various local rulers as cruel or wise depending on whether they upheld the religious authority or not. so, the ruler that tried to push back against the colonial entity in timbuktu is wicked and cruel, and the ruler that carried out a holy war against the heathens to the south is just and wise. you see the same types of histories in sweden and russia, and it's not merely bias, it's not merely the source...

the reality is that colonized people tend to react against the religion first when they push back, because it's the religion that's used as the tool of mental control. so, the religious histories will paint narratives of people willingly converting and casting away their barbarous and primitive ways; this is essentially always designed to cover up a real history of struggle against the religious authorities, which are essentially always acting out a cultural genocide against the colonized people. it's natural for the nationalized revolts to focus on the religious bodies, because it's the religious bodies that are the human face of the empire. 

so, was there in truth a struggle against the caliphate led by suni ali, and was that struggle ultimately defeated? it sort of sounds like it. but, the churches wrote all the histories in those days, so we remember what they want us to.

i'd also like to point out that the treatment of slavery here is refreshing, because you don't see it often nowadays. yes - slavery as we understand it was initially about religion and not race. it only became about race once abolitionists started converting africans to christianity and, even so, they took a biblical passage about the curse of ham to justify it.