i think it passed the preliminary tests, so i'm going to upload the files and i'll come back if i find any problems.

the conversion seems to be working.

i'll have to go over it to see how well.

back on that morning in 2016, i literally woke up in the front seat of somebody's car, and he was trying to take my shirt off. i cut it off. but, it was in process. and, i strongly suspect he was getting seconds.

i looked hot that night...

that night in october is...it's very blurry, but i do have parts of it, it wasn't a complete blackout, and i'm almost certain that i spent the night smoking outside, and then nodded off in the seated area.

i could smell the lube when i got home that night in 2016, and i had trouble shitting for like a week. there was nothing like that in october.

so, i would be very surprised to hear about a sexual encounter on that night.

and, i have no other good ideas as to when i could have recently picked something up....

i don't think that's it. i mean, i guess i need to keep an eye on that, but i'm actually more concerned that there's some potential connection between the liquid and the computer rebooting.

is it a potential sign of some kind of std?

well, i haven't had sex since since 2006 (unless i did when i was black out drunk....which i suspect is even likely, but not recently), so if that's what it is, then why now, out of the blue?

even the last blackout episode was 2016.

i think.

there was that night in october that i don't remember, but i have no reason to think i had a sexual encounter. i think i was just stumbling around at the bar....

if i were to guess what the liquid was, i would suggest it was water.

but, that makes no sense.

unless somebody was in here.

*sigh*.

i don't actually know what happened this morning. i know it was very weird.

i guess it was about 9:00 or so that i closed my eyes for a few minutes. i wanted a very short nap. and, it was about 12:00 or so, almost sharp, that i was stirred by what felt like somebody dousing cold water on me, although it didn't wake me up at first. it took a few minutes for me to come to, and i looked down and noticed a kind of wet spot in my bed.

"what the fuck?" is what i said, verbatim, and i think that's a reasonable reaction. then, i did what any adult would do - i got up, urinated and got some toilet paper to soak it up.

if somebody were to ask me when the last time i wet the bed was, i wouldn't have a clear memory of it. there have been a few wet farts that i ended up regretting not getting up for, but urine in the bed is something i'd have to go so far back for that i don't actually recall it. and, if i was a bed wetter, i've forgotten it altogether - my honest recollection is that i wasn't, but that's kind of like proving a negative, and i know that's not how our memories work.

if this was actually urine, i'd be leaning towards it being some evidence of a developing case of multiple sclerosis, which is consistent with the weird migraines and extreme tiredness.

but, whatever this was didn't actually smell like urine. it didn't actually smell like anything at all. if i had just urinated in my bed, however minimally, one would have expected an odour, as the urine that i just ejected into the toilet was dark yellow and stinky from drinking high potency coffee all night. to be clear: i immediately got up and pissed and that piss stank. badly. why didn't this piss smell like anything at all, if that's what it was? weirder is that, while parts of my leg were wet, the general diffusion pattern didn't fit the premise that it had spread from my urethra. the wrong parts of my body were wet for that to have been what actually happened. whatever it was, it seemed to have come from elsewhere...

further, this odorless liquid, whatever it was, dried almost immediately - it was pretty much evaporated in the amount of time it took for me to take a leak and get back with a wad. and, it seems to have left no visible stain. it just vanished without a trace.

i've pointed out in this space on numerous occasions that, while i can orgasm if i try hard enough, i cannot ejaculate in any substantive way. that's not what this was, clearly - this was a clear, odourless liquid that evaporated within minutes without any sort of residue. but, it couldn't have been that, because i can't actually produce it.

so, if it wasn't urine and it wasn't semen, what else can your body discharge when you're sleeping? 

and, was it actually me that discharged it at all? what else could it have been? an animal? a human? i don't know...

i know that my machine shut down shortly afterwards, and shouldn't have. i locked the machine before i nodded off, at least. i'm going to withhold hypotheses on this, for just right now. 

rather, i decided that i need to get this typing done with rather than spend more time fucking around with the laptop and spent the afternoon parsing files on the desktop, instead.

this was productive, at least; the remaining six files are ready to convert and upload, so we'll see how the microsoft cloud works this out. if it works, that will be done within an hour or two.

i otherwise have no idea how to react to what happened this morning other than to forget about it and move on.

hopefully, i'll have some links to post very shortly.

you think i'm being facetious or delusional, but look, it's true:

http://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/10/pre-concert-persies-set-24102013.html

i remember doing those "celebrity lookalike" matches and they always gave me back finnish models.

that's not a racist statement. it's really true. we all do look the same, and it's because we went through a bottleneck around the peak of the last ice age.

they say there's a finnish bottleneck.

and, sanna marin and i do have more than a passing resemblance.

maybe conan and i can start a club for third rate comedians that look like finnish prime ministers.

so, now that i have what looks like a stable conversion method, i can get to actually finishing the parsing for the end of 2013.

it's not entirely clear that this will work, but let's hope it does.

expect combined files for the last semester of 2013 to come up fairly shortly, once i'm sure they're all neatly formatted, locally.

well...

that seems to work.

i want to be clear: i tried uploading doc files to google drive and then downloading them as pdfs and the formatting often broke on them. the same thing happened at several of the free conversion sites, including at the adobe site. so, i mean, i tried this, and it didn't work.

the smallpdf.com site was particularly accurate for whatever reason, it worked when none of the other sites did, but it has those file size restrictions. and, i mean, i don't know where i'm sending my files to and from, here. 

will the microsoft converters be on par with the smallpdf ones? well, i can hope so, but we'll have to find out. and, there will be files coming to test with soon enough, too.

if this doesn't work out, i can always try openoffice. but, i think i'm happy with this as an answer, so long as it's actually effective.

i don't know why i didn't think of this earlier. well, i guess that microsoft didn't come up in the google search, funny that....

google: fix your word--->pdf conversion. it doesn't work.

wait.

microsoft has a cloud, too.

can i use it to convert files? that would be easy.

and, why don't i use google docs?

it doesn't format right.

and, my experience has been that it's slow and tends to crash because it's autosaving far too often.

it's fine for smaller documents that don't have a lot of detail, but i need to be able to create documents that are hundreds of pages long and i need to be able to format them in very specific ways. 

plus, there's data sanctity issues regarding access by law enforcement.

it's not an application that is properly delegated to a cloud-computing platform; this is something that should primarily be created and stored locally. it's just not the right tool for this job...

abiword is no longer being offered for windows from the developer (and you shouldn't download things from sketchy sites like softronic, pretty much ever), which is what i need it for, and it appears to rely on a pdf printer, anyways.

it was a nice, small file, though. no doubt a minimal install process; maybe even a standalone. these are the kinds of programs i insist on, nowadays. i don't need a word processor building a tower in my registry....

maybe i can find another clone. it's worth a shot before i resort to downloading oo.

if i'm going to download a large package and install it in a virtual machine just to get the functionality to convert from .doc to .pdf, i should be going with openoffice.

again: the way i've been doing this for years is to print it, and it worked just fine, except that the links lose their functionality (it's just like you're printing it to a piece of paper, but virtually, and you can't click the links on your paper, not until we get specific types of three-dimensional printing, so you can't click the links in the virtually printed pdf), and that is absolutely fundamental to what i'm doing - the end product needs to be interactive.

maybe i can get a very minimal version of openoffice..

this should be easier than this.

in fact, i remember seeing react os style freeware word 2003 clones, and you'd think they'd do it, so maybe i should look that up first. abi something..?

i don't want to upgrade the office software, either. the program does this natively after 2010, but i went through great lengths to strip office 2003 down to a 20 mb package. i really, really, really don't want any of this recent office software on my system. at all.

one way out would be to install 2010 in the virtual machine, and just open it up to convert, but that's kind of crazy.

why is this so unnecessarily difficult? why can't i find a plugin for word 2003?

yeah, it has built in print functionality, but i can already do that pretty easily.

can i find a printer driver that prints links?

installing latex would also be overkill. to an extent, i'd be happy to just upload the file in word and let you deal with it, but noise trade won't even take files in that format, and the pdf format is non-proprietary.

i just like word. i'm using word 2003, and it's a just very clean, uncluttered processor - minimal. kind of not very microsoft, but maybe the best word processor ever created, nonetheless.

there's nothing stopping me from continuing what i'm doing, besides file sizes and the awkwardness of it. like i say, this shouldn't be so hard.....really...

i don't want to download a cracked version of adobe studio. that seems like overkill. even if it's 15 years old, and it would be...

i'm actually a foxit user and have been for as long as i can remember. mid 00s, probably. i had an older machine and had to make an effort to fight the bloatware, and that was one of the steps i took, moving from adobe to foxit. you kids don't even know what bloatware is...

the newer freeware versions of foxit actually claim to be able to do this natively.

let's give it a try in the virtual machine, first...

i remember when my mom went to school with me on a field trip in the fifth or sixth grade and she had to forcefully argue that she was actually my mother, and not my teenaged sister.

she would have been in her late 30s.

and, then she got shadowed by all the girls in the class, who couldn't quite get over it, and interpreted her as a teenaged sister, anyways.

i have fifty year old aunts that could easily pass as twenty something.

and, my grandmother managed to make it to 75 without looking a day over 40.

my mother has actually become the exception, due to her habits. heavy tobacco & alcohol use, plus a heroin problem leading to years worth of methodone addiction, have let her age in ways that almost nobody else in the family has.

but, this is a place where genes matter. and, i can expect to at least look young, for quite a while, still.

and, because they're finnish, they all look roughly 15.

i know. i'm finnish on my mom's side....

https://nationalpost.com/news/world/two-women-under-35-are-now-running-finland

i am awake, for the first time in, like, a week. hooray!

the smoke's better just right this second. somebody find me a hollowed out log to bash my head against.

there was some autocapitalization from facebook (fuckers.) that i had to fix, and that's been replaced, so i'm ready to get back to it, now.

and, i'm hoping that i don't move from in front of these two machines until i get 2013 finished, once and for all.

the plan is to do all of the office work on the windows machine and then upload it to noise trade and bandcamp via the chromebook. this is temporary, because i don't want to deal with broken windows boxes right now. something else i'm remembering about this chromebook is that i have to log in to turn the ad block on, which means typing out a 100 character pass phrase....

first, i need an answer to the pdf problem. surely it's not that hard. surely the right software is out there. i must go forth and look...