i'm actually sort of feeling overwhelmed, like i've got a million things to do and can't do any of them. and i want to push forward, i want to get things done...but i'm stuck with the bottleneck of this broken machine, which is essentially rendering me useless.

so, i'm tempted to start making lists, and plans for when the machine comes back up, but i know better. i'd be getting ahead of myself.

so, i'm going to be spending the night staring at the ceiling waiting for the chkdsk to finish and trying to calm down and refocus and center.

i moved the chkdsk to the pc, and it's looking like it's going to take all night.

and, i essentially have nothing to do. i'm wide awake, and bored as hell...

what i want to be doing is getting back to the journals, but the data is on the drive i'm doing a chkdsk on. i have no option but to wait.

i don't want to read. i'm not interested in the news cycle. and, i don't want to just aimlessly jam - i want my musical energy to be strictly focused on completing old projects. and, i'm sick of fixing computers.

as mentioned, there are not going to be any new projects - my musical career ended in 2013.

so, i'm stuck. 

i'm not even hungry,

i just want the machine to work :(.

seems like the headache is back.

there's no solution, i need to sleep.

canadian liberals, in general, have a reputation for telling you what you want to hear, campaigning on the left and governing on the right or, as trump would put it, being two-faced.

clinton called it having a public opinion and a private opinion.

it's a fundamental component of the political ideology.

canadians don't want to send their taxes to raytheon and lockheed martin, and the government is well aware of the unpopularity of funding the american military-industrial complex. but, we also want to keep norad. 

this is one of the hard parts about being prime minister, it's a perpetual balancing act, and it does require putting on different faces for different audiences.

so, i got some rest. worst things could happen.

the machine is still up, and i'm doing things like running chkdsks and setting group policy and fixing security descriptors. i want to be sure that it's as good as i can get it before i expose myself to the police harassment again.

i can't imagine it taking all night.

but, that's what i'm doing. still.

as i've now wasted four more days on this, i have little choice but to get out to print and stuff tomorrow.

the machine is up, but i'm deeply hesitant about joining the network.

it's slower and buggier than usual, as well.

i think i'm going to lose the day. that's ok.

to be clear: there was an attempt the last time i did this to try and get the machine to "work normally".

we're back to making sure the machine is broken, now, so that the windows scripts (amongst other things) cannot run....

as far as i can tell, i seem to be back up and everything seems to be back to normal. but i have a lot of stuff to do before i consider reconnecting that machine to the internet.

i've got a fresh pot of coffee.

and, i want to be back up by noon at the latest, so i don't lose the day.

the install is done. now, to copy the install from last month over...

so, i'm starting the reinstall.

i'd like to be back up by the morning, so i can get on with things.

i've otherwise spent the evening catching up on the vlogs.

i don't know why the updates turned on all of a sudden, but i'm suspecting it had to do with turning the task scheduler back on, which i turned on to get the event log working again. i didn't learn anything useful from the event log, really. so, i'm leaning towards just turning that back off.

but, what i'm going to do, after i copy the install from early november back, is just inspect the install directory. are there glaring differences? recent changes? what the fuck?