if there's anything wrong with me, it's not going to be fixed by giving me drugs - we need a proletariat revolution to fix what's wrong with me.

because it's not me that there's something wrong with.

it's you that there's something wrong with.

once again: leaving the house and coming back in has rendered me oppressively tired, leading me to suspect that somebody is essentially poisoning my food supply when i'm out. it might be the water, it might be the coffee, etc - i don't know. i know it's consistent - i am useless for several days when i get in, and it is clearly connected to the food.

i don't know what they're putting in there. it might even be one of these "anti-depressants", which are really just, functionally, quackery.

so, let it be stated here that the only effect i'm feeling is oppressive drowsiness.

and i hate it.

fuck off.

well, churches are major vectors of spread and bars aren't.

https://globalnews.ca/video/7478419/b-c-faith-leader-pushes-back-against-covid-19-restrictions/

and, i filed my form 10.

let's hope it's that easy.

see, i know the fuckers are going to make it worse, at least until they can make it better. that's ultimately what i think this guy did - i think he painted something over certain parts of my gumline, and what it did was trap bacteria inside. then, when it wore off, it exposed a nasty mess. it's exactly the places he filled in that need attention...

why would a dentist do that? because it's a way to turn an unprofitable customer into a profitable one. it's essentially setting me up for the need to do drilling.

the other thing i need to draw attention to is that windsor doesn't fluoridate it's water, and that may have something to do with why it seemed to get worse when i moved here. fuck...

but, like i say: my teeth are getting to the end of their lives. they're getting old; they're breaking down. filling them in with resin could extend their use, and maybe even make them stronger. and, that's how i need to look at it - not attack myself for failing to prevent something that's virtually unpreventable.

40 years old before i got my first filling. that's not bad...

ugh.

i don't want to go to the dentist....

the way i need to look at this, i think, is not that i've failed at dental hygiene because i need the attention of a dentist, but rather that anything that is put into my mouth is an improvement over a system that is insufficiently evolved to last into middle age.

i shouldn't be hard on myself.

i think i did everything right....

it just doesn't matter: your teeth are going to eventually require attention, no matter how well you take care of them.

it's not a fail, it's an improvement. i just need to keep telling myself that.

ultimately, the biggest problem with my teeth is probably the dehumidifier. again - lack of humidity causes cavities. and, i've realized that for a while - my mouth tends to feel a lot better when i drink more water, and tends to get worse in the winter than in the summer.

like, i just flossed for the first time in i don't know how long, and you'd think i'd be pulling out globs of shit, right?

nope.

nothing on the floss.

at all.

it left a mild odour that appears to have been from dislodged bacteria, and i wonder if it might even be a bad idea to dislodge it....

now that i'm pretty confident that the smoking is done with at least, if i can get a good clean, maybe i can prolong the inevitable.

but, i'm resigned to the reality of it - my teeth have run their course and the need to replace them is a consequence of the expanding lifespans of humans.

our teeth just aren't intended to last for 100 years.

we're just not evolved for that - average lifespan until very recently was under 40. that's how long they're supposed to last for, at most.

so, you basically need to get them replaced at some point if you intend to live past 40, and we should all resign ourselves to that.

see, this is just one example.

everything i've read for years has suggested that the entire concept of dental hygiene is largely futile, especially if you're a coffee drinker or a smoker (which i was, but am not anymore). make sure you don't misunderstand this: this isn't saying that you can have healthy gums, even if you don't floss. what it's saying is that you're probably going to get gum disease anyways, even if you do floss - that, in the face of every other risk factor, flossing is largely a waste of time.

i don't bother, and never have.

that said, i think i should probably look into some alternatives to flossing that may work a little better.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/aug/02/dental-floss-proof-works-guidelines-dropped

ultimately, i'm embarrassed by the realization that i need to see a dentist. 

dentists are for dumb people that don't take care of themselves.

but, i shouldn't be. it's normal, at my age.

it's capitalism.

it ruins everything.

i basically think dentists are a bunch of hucksters and charlatans that are driven by profit first and foremost, and i rarely take much of what they say seriously. my defenses come up very quickly...and i'm actually unusually careful about it, as a result of it.

it's the lack of regulation, in the system - dentists, in canada, are not really treated like doctors, they're more treated like auto mechanics. and, the result is that they'll rip you off in all of the same ways.

the last time i had work done in ottawa, which involved filling in the holes between my gumline and my teeth with some kind of resin, he told me immediately afterwards "don't go to another dentist". and, that's when i knew i'd made a terrible mistake. 

it's been years, and i'm coming to terms with the reality that he fucked up my gumline and i'm going to need to have it fixed. that's the business model, of course - they keep you coming back, that way.

so, i've got an appointment this week. and i'm going to have to finally accept it - i'm almost 40 (two months, now), teeth aren't infinite, cavities are inevitable and i have to adjust to the realities of aging.

i've never had a cavity. well...i have cavities, right now. i've never had one diagnosed or filled...

it's a bit of an identity thing. cavities are for dumb kids with bad diets and poor hygiene; i'd never get one. and, that may have been true for however many years, up to whatever age. but, time catches up to you, eventually.

what happened the last time i went through this is that i saw the $$ in their eyes and i ran off.

and, they very well may scare me off, again.

but, i need some work done.

how far we have fallen into conservatism and backwardsness when dancing at a mall is once again an act of dissent, subversion and revolt.

solidarity.

https://montreal.ctvnews.ca/police-break-up-maskless-dance-gathering-in-quebec-shopping-mall-1.5200212

i see no evidence that this has come to a vote at this point.

so, i would call on the liberals - if not the greens and ndp - to vote against this.

and, i would encourage the liberals to even consider triggering an election over it. 

i can tell you i'll never see them the same way again if they vote for this.

something else quebeckers may want to contemplate is how long bilingualism will last as a concept outside of quebec if quebec takes aggressive steps to eliminate it in quebec.

it doesn't seem reasonable to expect ontario to continue to offer services in french, if quebec takes this type of stance.

and, that is a bad outcome - it promotes the kind of division that bilingualism was intended to prevent.

see, something like this is fine.

it's one thing to test you. and, i'm generally in favour of bilingualism as a principle, and fine with passing laws requiring bilingualism as a job skill. but, what the caq wants to do (and all parties are supporting, it seems) is stamp out bilingualism in quebec (and in montreal, specifically) and replace it with rules that demand you must speak in french.

it's one thing to insist that workers can speak french, if they're asked to. that's a fairly liberal requirement, so long as people are then given the right to decide what language they choose to speak in.

it's another to demand that you must speak in french. that is not liberal at all - that is nazism.

and, they all supported it. 

all of them.

see, something like this is fine.

it's one thing to test you. and, i'm generally in favour of bilingualism as a principle, and fine with passing laws requiring bilingualism as a job skill. but, what the caq wants to do (and all parties are supporting, it seems) is stamp out bilingualism in quebec (and in montreal, specifically) and replace it with rules that demand you must speak in french.

it's one thing to insist that workers can speak french, if they're asked to. that's a fairly liberal requirement, so long as people are then given the right to decide what language they choose to speak in.

it's another to demand that you must speak in french. that is not liberal at all - that is nazism.

and, they all supported it. 

all of them.

https://www.yorktonthisweek.com/bloc-to-promote-bill-on-french-language-proficiency-for-new-citizens-1.24241298

so, what i actually did last night was make a snap decision to get a final grocery run in before the end of the month. i got into a fight with a store about taking pennies at the end - they're legal tender, they are obligated to take them, technically. i mean, it's all money, what's the difference? i just wanted to get rid of them (they weren't even going to cover the whole purchase, i would have had to use my debit card for the rest of it), but i was going to try a different store, just out of principle, when some random dude decided to buy the guavas for me instead. i just said thank you, accepted the good fortune and bolted...

i took a shower when i got in, and it's taken some time to wash and store. so, i effectively lost the night.

i need to do the court stuff first - i actually don't expect it to be time consuming. it's two forms.

to be clear: i don't care if the french language is under threat or not, and refuse to concede the relevance of the point regarding the constitutionality of the law.

i'm not getting into a debate about that - it's irrelevant.

the law does not exist, whether the french language is under threat or not. although, i may suggest that population replacement (in conjunction with immigration control) is a better idea than fascism. and, i may ask the french people to reflect if perhaps their behaviour has something to do with the language dying off - forcing people to speak your language by gunpoint perhaps isn't the best tactic for wider adoption. you might find they tend to resist.

it does not exist now, it did not exist in the past and it will not exist in the future.

carry on.

that law does not actually exist and no pretense to it's existence should be entertained.

every party in the house of commons has apparently voted in favour of a blatantly unconstitutional law that purports to regulate what language business can be conducted in in the province of quebec.

did i wake up in fucking iran, or what?

this is what i mean when i claim i'm disenfranchised...

needless to say, such a law is without force and must be disobeyed by all at once.

...and what a traitor.

charge him with treason.

what a weak, spineless, yellow-bellied piece of shit this man is.

pierre may have left justin his sperm, but he didn't leave him his balls.

what a pussy.

well, i don't know if this passed or not.

but, if trudeau still wants an election, this is a principled issue to force one over.

i refuse to believe that the liberal party supports bill 101, randomly, out of nowhere, all of a sudden. trudeau went rogue and is talking strictly out of his ass.

https://www.macleans.ca/opinion/quebec-puts-the-heat-back-on-trudeau/

bill 101 is a vicious affront to freedom of expression, is a stain on this country's history and should be abolished immediately.

the liberals support bill 101, now?

when did that happen?

was there any debate?

i'd like to see a poll done in caucus on this one. i suspect that the dauphin "misspoke" and you'll see a retraction pretty soon - that's a baffling reversal in position.