i'm actually starting to suspect that she may have moved a unit over - or that whatever clique of people she had in there, did.

i haven't smelled any pot today, at least - although the tobacco is quite strong.

i don't think this lease is salvageable.

i mean, i obviously don't want to actually go to court.

but, i was coerced into that. pressured.

she shouldn't have done that.

 i hoped it wouldn't matter. it still might not.

i"m going to be honest about it, and appeal on a point of reasonableness.

i was going to file on a point of correctness, and argue 25% was too low. that's frivolous. and, i'd need to drop the appeal before it gets to trial. but, if i file on a point of reasonableness that i asked for month-to-month and she insisted on an end date, i can at least make an argument if i have to.

listen: if you can find me a way out tomorrow, i'll sign the lease.

i've had options, they just didn't want to sign.

and, i still have three weeks to get out...

i want to leave immediately.

but, i am going to have to do this this week.

i am not withholding any more rent than i am legally entitled to, and will pay a fair rent until i can get out.

i think the adjudicator, while otherwise presenting a fair ruling, was not well informed on the state of the market in windsor. i asked for month-to-month for a reason: the market is very hard right now.

if i haven't found anything by the spring, i will put my things in storage and leave on my own accord. that will give me 6-8 months to find something, somewhere else, before it gets cold again.

i suspect that the smoker may leave if presented with this, as the windows will be open all winter, if she smokes inside.

http://ontariolandlordandtenantlaw.blogspot.com/2013/07/appeals-to-divisional-court.html

so, classes started on sept 6th, and i'm noticing student rooms are actually emptying out already - creating rooms that aren't available until october or november.

it's easier to understand how these kids may be going somewhere, and harder to understand how more kids might be coming in. these landladies do not strike me as fun to live with - the worst kind of conservative mothers you can imagine, sort of thing. if there's a student run house down the street that needs tenants, that might make more sense, especially if that house allows sharing, and that's what you've always known, right?

these kids are going to get lonely with rooms by themselves. that is normal and expected to me, but strange and alien to them.

the point is that it's easy to get your head around the idea of kids moving around.

what's going to be harder to understand is if these ads carry on. and, i'm wondering. 'cause i've been wondering for a while if this might be a ring of some sort.

it just seems very organized.

so, am i going to see this surplus of student houses moving forwards past october 1st? it's going to be that much more obvious if i do.

but, now let's turn this around.

the next thing i want to hear is: "i thought that guy was a fag, but he seems like he might be kinda cool as a woman".


and, finally, "i thought that was just a guy, but it turns out she's a really cool chick."

just get me somewhere where i get to choose when i'm smoking.

it used to be "he thinks he's a chick, but he's really a cool guy."

then it was "i thought that guy was cool, but it turns out he's kind of a fag."

and, now it's "that guy is such a fucking bitch."

exactly.

it's not going to be a wealthy, good looking, macho white man from an aristocratic viking blood line that takes the fall.

no.

of course not...

it's going to be the communist jew, born into poverty.

always.

bank on it.

and, send me the interest.

you do realize that he was gay though, right?

what?

no paedophiliac jesus jokes on sundays, or what?

did jesus corrupt the youth?

depends on how you interpret the statement:

let the children come.

i'm more socrates than jesus - i don't want to die for your sins, but i might not have much of a choice, if you sentence me for them.

actually, i think it's perfectly fitting to make ironic points about white supremacism by making an example of the communist jew.

who else would take the fall? who else would die for these sins, innocently, by any conceivable metric?

if history has any process at all, this is not just the most rational answer, but, in fact, the only answer. nobody else could possibly take the blame for this; nobody else could possibly be executed for it.

just don't worship me, you fucking idiots.

how was the summer here?

it was late. we had a few nice weeks at the end of may, but june was, overall, pretty brutal. july & august have actually been ideal weather (in my opinion). it's the nicest summer since i moved here. it is really truly a shame that i didn't have time to enjoy it, as i've been fighting with neighbours burning shit for months, and unable to secure a way out.

i still don't think i missed anything.

i'm more irritated about being unproductive.

she seems to be back to burning sage in the kitchen, again. if that's what it is. it smells like a campfire, basically. i've never dropped the idea that she's smoking meth. of the many things she's burning, sage is the worst - especially if she thinks it's cleansing something.

the science is actually very clear that sage smoke is brutally carcinogenic; it's toxic. really. the idea that it's "cleansing" anything is outrageously ignorant. and the way you burn it - in plumes - makes it far more dangerous than anything else.

all burning plant matter is carcinogenic.

i mean, guess what kids: tobacco is natural , too.

i am on the side that wants to see women remove their own veils, because they are autonomous and individual decision makers that don't need or want to obey the dictates of a backwards & patriarchal culture.

but, you have to - have to - understand that that means they must take the veils off, themselves. they can be convinced to. perhaps even coerced to. but, if they refuse, that must not be interfered with.

this used to be the side we called liberalism. if that is not the side that people that identify as liberals are on any more, then i will need to change the side i am on. but, it is liberalism that has changed, and not me.

make no mistake though: i would absolutely like for them to tear them off, and perhaps to burn them in displays of defiance.

i've just been extremely tired the last few days.

it's the smoke.

i could sleep another 20 hours, easily.

i shouldn't.

the guy that brought me here, the old guy before the change of ownership in the last house, was fairly close to this. he legitimately liked me. i was perhaps even his favourite tenant. and, the frustrating thing is that he liked exactly the things about me that i've been getting in trouble for since. he once suggested i was the most responsible person he ever met, meaning he liked my tendency towards taking control of situations.

i can be an ideal tenant.

i just need an ideal landlord.

and i need a healthy living space.

to put it another way: if you put me in an unhealthy situation, you're going to get an unhealthy reaction. and, if you put me in a healthy situation, i'm going to behave accordingly, as well.

humans aren't electrons, past behaviour isn't necessarily predictive. but, experiments need to have controlled conditions. and, i have a history of thriving when placed in the right environments...

i just keep ending up in these terrible situations, because i can't get away from these sadistic forces. but, that's capitalism, right? and, that's what i'm trying to get out of, in truth: i'm seeking an escape from capital. not a flight from it. just a bunker. hidden in plain view. just enough that the vampires don't notice, and let me exist.

i'm tired of landlords asking me what my job is and frowning when i tell them i'm an artist.

i need to find a landlord that is excited by the prospect of renting to a creative agent, not perplexed or disappointed by it.

well, have you ever met a sane artist?

well?

"i met this delightfully sane composer this morning."

it's a contradiction in terms, because creativity exists outside the margins.

which is why i have to reiterate the point: i need a place for artists. not a place for entrepreneurs, not a place for families, not a place for the religious - a place for people to escape from that, to exist outside of preconceptions, to avoid market forces, to get on beyond the expected and just be.

and, a sympathetic landlord is imperative to this.

i'm not opposed to drug use. i'm sure i'll do plenty of drugs in the future. i just don't want to live in it. i can't tolerate the numbness of perpetual inebriation; that is not an escape from anything except yourself.