Sunday, September 9, 2018

the guy that brought me here, the old guy before the change of ownership in the last house, was fairly close to this. he legitimately liked me. i was perhaps even his favourite tenant. and, the frustrating thing is that he liked exactly the things about me that i've been getting in trouble for since. he once suggested i was the most responsible person he ever met, meaning he liked my tendency towards taking control of situations.

i can be an ideal tenant.

i just need an ideal landlord.

and i need a healthy living space.

to put it another way: if you put me in an unhealthy situation, you're going to get an unhealthy reaction. and, if you put me in a healthy situation, i'm going to behave accordingly, as well.

humans aren't electrons, past behaviour isn't necessarily predictive. but, experiments need to have controlled conditions. and, i have a history of thriving when placed in the right environments...

i just keep ending up in these terrible situations, because i can't get away from these sadistic forces. but, that's capitalism, right? and, that's what i'm trying to get out of, in truth: i'm seeking an escape from capital. not a flight from it. just a bunker. hidden in plain view. just enough that the vampires don't notice, and let me exist.