to be clear...

i still have absolutely no idea who caroline chevalier is. i could bump into her tonight or some other night and not know it. i don't know what she looks like, i don't know how old she is, and i don't even really know what country she lives in. it's really just a name on a screen.

but, i will state this clearly: what she did is wrong, and anybody that is unclear about the point should understand that. she essentially filed a false police report, that led to a comprehensive trampling over all of my relevant rights. justice won out in the end, but you can't do what she did without consequences. and, she will need to defend herself in court in due time.

she will have her day in court, and her ability to make her argument. but, i am filing a very serious lawsuit, here. and, if you think this was some kind of prank, you should be aware that it's going to cost her tens of thousands of dollars in legal costs, whether she wins in the end or not.

and, if i win the case, you're looking at a $50,000+ settlement. a discrimination lawsuit is a big deal in canada, and my case against her is very, very strong. if i lose the case, it's going to cost her that in legal fees, and she'll never recover them.

so, i mean, laugh it up. but, i'll be laughing in the end. i just need to wait for the cops to finish the investigation into the officer, first - or not. this will be filed by early september at the very latest.

and the solution is that you shouldn't discriminate against people, or file false police reports to try and cover your ass for it.

it should be easy.

just be empirical.

but, how many times has that been said to how many people?

fuck...

and, yes, i have the opposite problem with women - i interpret women as friends, and they interpret me sexually or romantically; i interpret men sexually or romantically, whereas they interpret me as friends. it creates an impossible dynamic, all around, so i have to shove my tits in your face for you to get the point.

so, i know it seems weird to show up to this room full of straight guys in a tanktop and makeup.

but, i'm there to see the band just like they are, and i need the people around me to interpret me properly when i'm there. we don't get anywhere in pretending that i'm somebody that i'm not in order to fit in.

it's the only rational approach, if you think it through.

the right way to interpret me is as an unusually independent "rock chick".

we do exist.

in fact, the places i hang out at are mostly full of straight white men in their 30s-50s.

...because that's what i'm actually attracted to.

duh?

about the last thing in the world that i'd want to do is hang out in a space full of cis-women, as they have nothing to offer me. i've learned that; i may have thought differently when i was younger, but i know better, now. nowadays, i purposefully avoid places that are full of women.

so, why not just be a gay male then? because i'm not attracted to gay men, i'm attracted to straight men. it's a big difference. and, if i were to show up presenting myself as a dude, i'd be being dishonest.

so, for example, i'm probably going to some rock shows this weekend, to take advantage of the weather, while i can. i've pointed out several times that i'm expecting a shitty summer; it's at least going to be nice this weekend. almost all women at these spaces are going to be somebody's girlfriend, and there in that capacity - that's the reality of the types of rock bands i'll be checking out. it just is. really.

so, i'm going to check out some guitar music with a nearly exclusively straight white male audience.

if i were to show up to these spaces in a male-presenting way and try and interact with the people there, they would assume that i'm like them - a straight white male. but, in fact, the truth is that i'm checking them out. they may even think i'm a "cool guy" because i'm at a lot of the same shows as them, and try and build a friendship with me on that basis - but i'm going to be consistently interpreting them sexually and/or romantically, and not reciprocating in their desire for basic friendship. and, i know this because i've been through it when i was younger. they will eventually figure this out, and the end result is a lot of wasted time for everybody involved, if not something more dangerous or uncomfortable than that.

the most honest thing for me to do is present myself as what i am, which is a female-identifying person that is attracted to straight men. it's then up to them to decide how they want to react to that. but, i'd rather get a negative reaction up front then string people along on a charade of friendship, only for them to realize in the end that i want to sleep with them.

i'm very keen on honesty, and this is just consistent with that.

i have the intuition that there's a larger and/or different audience here than there used to be, and much of it may be confused by the events i actually go to. you might be expecting me to go places where there are lots of younger women, for one reason or another. but, you're wrong - check the event history. i've usually gone to shows full of straight men for years, and that isn't going to change, now.

but, i need the people there to interpret me properly from the start. i've had enough problems with making friends with straight men, who misinterpret me via first impression and then get turned off when they realize the truth of what i'm actually like.

how is it with the a/c in here, so far? i don't think it's been warm enough to turn the a/c on yet this year, at all, but it's not comparable to the previous basement. i've been less frustrated with the a/c and more frustrated with the fact that it's just cold out; it's been cooling down to around ten degrees at night, and barely making it to twenty degrees during the day. so, even if you think room temperature is 21 - and i'd like it closer to 25 - it's been barely even making it to 21 most days.

there was an a/c in here when i moved in, but i uninstalled it and i don't plan on reinstalling it ever. but, i wouldn't even think to turn an a/c on until it got to at least 30 degrees. if i had central air, i'd set it to around 27 or 28. it's just a last resort.

the guy upstairs from the previous basement had the temperature set to something like 17 degrees. it was just uninhabitable; i would wake up shivering with the windows open in mid-august. i had to resort to cranking the heater all summer. i'm sure he likes the cold summer we're having, but he probably still has the a/c cranked. and, it's not because he's male, it's because he's obese - or was. the guy had months left to live when i moved out, because that much extra weight is a death sentence.

it doesn't seem like the guy upstairs is anything like this. he's a little bit fat, but it's roughly normal for his age; he's not obese, he's just in poor shape. it's not yet an issue, but you'll definitely hear me complain about it if it becomes one.....

i think i'm more likely to get annoyed by his dehumidifier than by his a/c, but we'll see what happens. i don't know why people can't just relax and enjoy the fucking summer....it's so short, here.....