ok, i'm remembering that one of the last things i did was reformat these documents, so i had to do this, anyways.

i initially decided to skip most of the early posts in the travel blog, but i'm reversing that decision for completeness reasons. that should finish up relatively soon.

ok. this is set up to go, but i need to stop to eat.

it's less that this is going to be time consuming and more that i'm going to need to really focus my brain on it.

so, going back to the july music journal.....

- the master document, which includes all files related to the journal, is dated to mar 31, 2019

- the bandcamp archive is dated to april 14, 2019

- the deathtokoalas file is dated to april 14, 2019 - and has apparently not been touched at all since

- there is a pdf for the politics blog dated to april 27, 2019 but the word document is dated to aug 14, 2020

- the blogs.7z file, which includes the blogs saved to html format, is dated to aug 22, 2019 - which is wrong. i never updated it. i can be sure of that. i need to do that.

- the smashwords upload of the music and politics journals are dated to june 6 & 7, 2020, which is right after the noise trade site shut down.

- my most recent download of the bandcamp archive is dated to july 27, 2020 but probably includes updates from the other blogs (travel blog, etc)

- the music journal document, travel blog document and politics document are all dated august 14, 2020, but there is no pdf for the music journal or the travel blog

so, if i were to take that at face value, it would suggest that i left three of the four blogs in an unfinished state, possibly because i updated them, but didn't move those updates into the other files.

the first thing i need to do is make sure that the complete archive is the same as the master document and i can do that fairly quickly in notepad++.

...so quickly that i'm already done. good. so, that means i haven't added anything to or deleted anything from that section of the master document since mar, 2019.

now, i need to rewind all four of the blogs that are online to the start of each of them in july, 2013 and make sure each is complete relative to what i want them to be, while cross-referencing the master document on the other machine. when that is done, i'll be able to close the july portion of the blog and move to august.

i think that everything is done, and it's just a perusal process, but we'll see.

how do i even do this?

it's overwehelming.

but, i think i got it, to start - and i have a lot of backups to crossreference. if somebody's been fucking with this over the last few months, i should be able to figure it out.

so, i can probably do the start of this in one giant swoop, and it might not even be that time consuming.

in fact, some of these dates don't even make sense and are making me wonder when i last edited it myself, and when somebody else might have.

fuck.

what's the point of this? i'm simply documenting my life, as an artist. who benefits from deleting sections of it? what's the fucking point?

there's apparently all kinds of files missing on my backup drive...

ugh.

i thought i left it in good order; it's in total disarray.

i know i had deleted some files i wanted to replace, but i've lost my train of thought around it.

i really do have to start from scratch, now.

what that means is that i don't see the point in doing these aleph discs yet - i'm just going to have to redo it all because some of the liner notes need to be rewritten.

so, i'm going to have to take a step back, and i'm skipping everything else and going right back to 2013/2014 first. once i get those items fixed, i can finish the frontends properly and go from there. they should hopefully be minor changes.

and, i have to do this first - i've put it off for far too long.

that means everything is on hold until i finish this, but it should hopefully not be too long.

...everything except the alter-reality. i need to start that next friday.

he does, however, make a few good points.

so, for example, there's the part where he talks about islam's indebtedness to iranian culture, which is an often overlooked point that i've drawn a lot of attention to in debunking the so-called "islamic golden age", which was a kurdish-led babylonian renaissance that the islamic authorities eventually suppressed. you have to give the arabs credit for ending the damned war, which was a pre-requisite for the renaissance to occur within. but, not only did they have nothing to do with it, but they shut it down by force...

likewise, the destruction of carthage is important to take note of, but i think he frames it poorly. yes - it was unoriginal, and that was the point, as the arabs of the time (which were a multiethnic force consisting pre-dominantly of former roman citizens or former roman tributaries) saw themselves as carrying out a conquest of the roman empire. so, they copied the romans because they considered themselves a purifying force in roman civilization. this continued all the way to 1452, when the turkish sultan declared himself emperor - to howls of laughter from europe and asia, combined. yet, the "sultanate of rum" carried forwards for centuries.

when they carried forward to spain, and tried to invade france, and held out in sicily, and conquered greece....it was all about being the new rome, as the old rome had collapsed into decadence and corruption. there's some ironic reading of gibbons for you, but it's true - it's how they saw themselves.

so, carthage had to be destroyed to bring roman civilization back to god. that was what the muslim armies saw themselves as, as the christians interpreted them as foreigners intent on enforcing an alien culture - which is just what the romans thought of carthage, too.

in the end, the arabs did not just rebuild carthage but rebuilt the carthaginian empire. like the phoenicians, they were traders, in the end, and we owe our concept of modern european capitalism quite dominantly to medieval arabism.

so, you have to understand that this guy is strictly interested in the military history, and the history is at least clear on that much - arising out of the desert, apparently from nowhere, these arabs were quite good at raiding and plundering. they won a lot of battles, and very quickly...

but, because he's only interested in the military side, he's essentially producing an uncritical retelling of the muslim sources regarding the domestic concerns, and even appears to be doing it intentionally in order to avoid ruffling feathers. what's the point of that? i mean, why bother at all? 

the reality is that much of what exists here is largely discarded by secular histories as myth. he forgets to tell you that much of this so-called history was written well after the fact and through a filter of religious control and is therefore no more reliable as actual history than the christian gospels or the jewish pentateuch. we just forget that this period was a dark age, because it's not some distant, ancient thing - it's in the historical frame. worse, the muslims often try to extricate themselves from the dark age they helped cause, and he's just repeating the propaganda about it.

i'm not going to get into this too much, but, for example, when an emperor has to pass laws about nepotism and corruption, what does that say about the society and the state of governance? you can present this as an example of wise leadership if you insist, but an emperor wouldn't pass anti-corruption laws unless corruption was rampant. further, while these laws did exist, there's little evidence that they had any effect.

rather, what you're listening to here is a founding myth, designed to present these rulers in an enlightened manner, in order to prop up the religion that created them and is no more reliable than stories about david (who killed a philistine with a slingshot) & solomon (who was wise and just). or about george washington and cherry trees. and, this is what happens when amateurs decide they're experts, on the fly.

but, that relates to the military side of it as well because these victories were so decisive and so sudden that they almost do seem like divine intervention, until you work in the reality of revolt. the narrative he's presenting here differs little from the religious narrative, until he picks up the gibbons halfway through and balances it out. but, historians don't take it seriously anymore. while some skirmishes seem to have actually taken place, it seems like the seventh century was a period of internal revolt in both of the major empires, and there was a kind of pan-semitism that developed that took them both down from the inside. these arab raiders were treated as liberators, and couldn't have succeeded otherwise.

but, he wouldn't want that to be true, because he wants battles and he wants one tribe to conquer another. so, he's buying into something that is generally seen as debunked by contemporary, mainstream history.

it's still a nice story, though.

bro.

the idea that i need to "just eat meat" is both facile and biologically wrong.

my heart health is pristine, and i'd like to keep it that way by keeping the meat down. 

this is the correct way to go through this process. all of these charts from the usda are only so useful - in the end, you need to test what you're absorbing and what you're not. you have to actually do the experiment.

everything is perfect except the iron, so let's figure that out and adjust it to compensate for it.

i'm trying this with heme because it's the highest probability approach...

but, if it works, maybe i can try replacing the roast beef with a handful of spinach, or beans or something.

the thing is that i don't currently know what's blocking it - calcium? phytates? oxalates?

...or if it's even being blocked at all, and it's not just bad absorption.

yeah, i just passed a giant combo whopper/fruit/cereal shit and it was brown as could be.

it's the beets. and the peppers.

the roast beef isn't sitting well with my stomach, but that makes sense, as the gut bacteria no doubt needs to rebuild. that's fine. i just need to get my stores up first and figure it out after - if it even works. if i stick with anything, it's probably going to be the salami with the eggs. but, like i say...

sleep is a horribly annoying thing, but i'm awake now.

let's get this done.

so, the great game is still happening but quietly, and the crusades are on hold.

it's the scramble for africa that's the real upcoming focus.

it was obvious that biden's primary concern was going to be a renewed scramble for africa, in conjunction with an expansionist imperial centre in riyadh, and against the chinese.

so, this is the alliance: islam-christianity-judaism.

this is the theatre: eastern africa

this is the pretense: oppression of muslims or christians (whatever. same thing.) that need to be saved

this is the mechanism: western support for extremist jihadist groups

this is the expected outcome: a new caliphate across the historically muslim region that is (nominally) aligned with neo-liberalism and exploits the region for the benefit of western capital - which is really what the old caliphate actually did. this should look stupid because it is. but, capital is short-sighted, and it can't see the unreliability of the arabs as a partner, who will in the end no doubt happily align with the chinese to assert dominance over the west.

this is the enemy: chinese imperialism in africa

if you want to do a play-by-play, that's the theatre that is likely to be the hottest over the next eight years, as we fund and support the saudis in their ambition to reconquer most of africa. and, i told you that months ago.

the base of support for this is going to be african-american women, who are going to be brainwashed into supporting the military-industrial complex via racial and nationalist propaganda.

https://www.cp24.com/news/canada-joins-g7-in-condemning-ethiopia-violence-calling-for-humanitarian-aid-1.5372722

ok, so where was i?

i left here on thursday afternoon to get some things for the week - wood filler, glue & oil at the canadian tire, paprika at the bulk barn, juice (and, it turns out, tomatoes) at the food basics....and, then some roast beef at the far store, some guava at the walmart (because the two closer stores are no longer stocking it) and some blueberries at the freshco.

and, after all that running around and waiting in line, it was about 19:00 when i got home - and took my first c + roast beef. so, it took four hours to do what amounted to two shopping runs?

well, first i had to wait in line for about a half hour at the canadian tire, which was partly my own fault. you have to check your school bag, which is utterly paranoid and horribly frustrating when everybody is stuck in line for an extra twenty minutes. but, the line was otherwise not that bad at the canadian tire, in the early afternoon.

and, the bulk barn across the street was a fast transaction - as was the food basics. i was actually making good time...

...but, then i went for a second run to the superstore and found myself in the midst of a grocery run. unfortunately, the government of ontario has announced yet another month-long lockdown, and it's funny how these lockdowns coincide with muslim religious holidays, isn't it?

if the goal is to stop the spread of the virus, we've already proven repeatedly that these lockdowns don't work. so, if you want my honest take on it? this is the ramadan lockdown of 2021. and, unless we understand and react very quickly, we may need to get used to regular lockdowns during muslim holidays, as they take over the government and dictate terms around the economy.

listen - i can't prove anything. but, these coincidences keep building. and, these mask laws seem like they're going to outlive the pandemic, on top of it.

and, that's my hunch about what's actually happening - some powerful muslim financiers have decided that we can't have people out drinking during ramadan. so, they've shut everything down until it's done.

i was expecting something like this, and have resigned myself to it. if we remain passive and compliant, there's no end point. and, i'm not going to go out and get myself shot for no reason. all i can do is be subversive and hope it rubs off.

we have to understand what they're actually doing before we can generate a worthwhile response.

they didn't have my guava there, so i was actually going to bike out to the other superstore, but i stopped at walmart on a hunch and they had it. but, that meant standing in line for a half hour again, for a $4 purchase. 

and, then i swung back to the freshco and had to do the same thing a third time, to get some blueberries...

somewhere along the way - i don't remember where - i made the conscious decision to purchase some salami for the eggs, as well. i decided that if this is to be done at all then it should be done comprehensively. that is, if i'm going to boost my heme then i should do it with all of the above - roast beef with my c, salami with my eggs and anchovies with my pasta. so, this will be a total heme onslaught for the next few weeks with the intent to get the stores up, up, up. then, once i've done that, if i can do that, i can go back and fuck around with interactions, and try to find some way to isolate the iron from this or  that.

so, i went out for a last run to get some salami & take advantage of a coupon for a 2-for-1 whopper deal. 

as i've stated a few times already, i don't imagine this is going to be dramatic. i have every reason to think that low iron runs in the family, and it's something i've been dealing with my whole life. but, i need to get it out of the critical stage it's in and build the stores up to something more reasonable. if my iron stores are really this low, i should be lapping up the heme as it comes in. and, if i can get those numbers up to 20,30,50 - that's what i want to see.

this is probably going to be a long term project and i'm probably going to need monthly tests for quite a while...

i didn't, however, make it much past the whoppers; i crashed before midnight, was up early in the morning and crashed again around 6:00. not what i want to see, right? but, i have to realize that i haven't had a burger in months, and my gut bacteria could very well be out of whack as a result of it. regardless, that was my initial reaction to the first shot of red meat i've had since the end of last year - i slept for hours, woke up for a few minutes, and slept for hours more.

i was finally up in the early afternoon and set about putting the groceries away and making myself a large bowl of fruit. as i skipped yesterday, this bowl of fruit was double what i would normally eat - and would have in the range of 35-40 mg of elemental iron in it, along with about 1500% of the rdi for vitamin c. if i can't absorb that, right?

and, i've been playing catch up on the various blog items, while cleaning, ever since.

i'm going to aim to get the aleph-0 disc up before i sleep next, and try to kick into the schedule properly on monday.

i'm going to have to flip it over soon and try to oil it from the other side, too.

like, it's halted. stuck...

...but easing...

well, the oil is helping with the fan, but it's not enough, yet.

and, i mean...i don't know if the converter is blown in it too or what....

...and today's post is inri017.

so, this is what i'm doing this weekend, to start - catching up on this.

====

these three tracks were not initially connected in any way, other than being the lead sequence on my second record. they are not even connected in time: the first section was written in late 1997 around the ry30, the second section was written in early 1997 around an octaver and the last section was written in mid 1998 as a sound design experiment. however, they've been connected together since they were sequenced together in early 1999. 

it was in early 2014 that i first got the idea of splitting the opening sequence into it's own release, in order to upload the tracks together to youtube. i eventually ruled against it as it didn't have a deep enough conceptual unity to justify. 

the idea has come back with the revisitation of my first period and the construction of a series of experimental singles. for reasons of chronology, it was somewhat necessary for me to release a single for idiotic in the summer of 1998. but what made the single worthwhile to me in this form was the ability to reversion the concept using the different glitch mixes of the first and third tracks. the result is a challenging and epic listen, and i hope you enjoy it. 

-- 

section 2... 

i was violently anti-tobacco in my teens. to an extent, i still am. but, i was also largely just repeating things that had been said to me, without the critical filter that comes with defining a sense of individuality. i think we probably all remember a time when we repeated things told to us by teachers, parents and the media without fully thinking them through. we don't, however, all have demos of songs that we wrote before we'd come to understand who we really are, as individuals. 

looking back at the initial recording, i mostly just wish that i had articulated myself a little bit better. i never dropped my opposition to tobacco, not even when i was a smoker. i'm not sure that i ever really even admitted to myself that i was a smoker. so, i don't want to distance myself particularly far from the basic crux of my opinion that smoking tobacco is really pretty stupid - i never really altered that opinion. what i do want to distance myself from is some of the precise language and arguments that i used, as they are not reflective of my own thoughts. 

for example, i wouldn't present the health care argument. first, i'm a strong advocate of universal health care. second, the accounting underlying the idea is not well defined, and difficult to construct. third, i reject the entire concept of currency. nor do i think we'd have to make resource-based decisions about health care if it weren't for the limits provided by currency. so, i'm retracting that statement - along with many others. 

by the time i got to recording a second version of the track in mid 1998, i'd smoked a few other things and enjoyed them. a purely anti-tobacco song no longer seemed all that relevant to me; more relevant to me was a song comparing marijuana use to tobacco use. so, i hid the vocals through a very heavy vocoder effect and piled a lot of silly samples, many about marijuana, on top of the track. it stayed that way for almost fifteen years. 

when i sat down to remaster in late 2013, removing samples was a dominant priority. thankfully, i actually had an archived instrumental version from back in 1998. this allowed me to replace the track with only minimal editing. 

there were continuity reasons why i went with the sample version the first time around, but it was against my better judgement, even then. i should have followed my gut. 

- 

section 1... 

i had earlier recorded a vocal version of this, but i had the good sense to realize it was awful and replaced the vocal parts with synth sections, creating an electronic/ambient piece with a liberal use of noise. it's admittedly a little elevator-music sounding, but i think that's sort of part of it's charm. it's very precious sounding. 

this is one of my favourite early pieces. i used to just sit and play the simple guitar outro, with drum loop in my sennheiser 440-IIs, for hours at a time... 

the decision to remove the vocals on this track was largely a reflection of my growing confidence in the quality of the music to stand up on it's own. over the '98-'99 period, i was largely aware of how cringeworthy my lyrics were and put them into three overlapping categories: (1) comedy/satire, in which case i let them stand as they were, (2) cries for help, in which case i upheld them as they were hoping somebody would listen, (3) songs that i had no lyrical idea for but that i felt needed lyrics, in which case i felt trapped by the genre conventions and upheld ideas that i truly didn't even like at the time simply so the songs would have vocals. over time, i eventually got to the point where i had enough confidence in the music that i no longer felt that the songs required lyrics, and i started to look at it as something to use sparingly based on whether i actually had an idea to express. while there are definitely songs in this period that i wish i had kept instrumental versions of, the final mixes only include a couple with lyrics that i actively regret. this is the first time i was able to mentally push back against myself and say "no. this song does not need lyrics.". 

-- 

section 3... 

this is what it sounds like when you open dlls with a wave editor. there was some strategic reshaping, but that's where the bulk of the sound comes from. 

-- 

initially written over the course of 1997. recreated and expanded over the course of 1998. lead track first sequenced in this form in feb, 1999. further remixes generated over the course of 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013, and another in late 2015. remastered in november, 2016 from various sources, 1997-2015. released & finalized on nov 17, 2016. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version of this track appears on my second record, inriched (inri021): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1997, 1998, 1999, 2013, 2015, 2016). 

eleased august 5, 1998 

j - guitars, effects, bass, drum kit, synthesizers, sequencers, vocoders, octavers, drum programming, noise generators, sound design, sampling, digital wave editing, loops, a broken tape deck, vocals, production