Friday, October 11, 2019

listen.

they made me wait months.

i have no empathy for them, if they're going to complain i'm dragging this out.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
i guess i'm up.

i have no plans for the rest of the weekend,. and don't know if i'd feel good enough to carry them out, anyways. i'm guessing i missed a good show tonight - and the weather seems to have been pleasant enough - but what do you want me to tell you? i'm sick. it happens...

my sinuses are still a little iffy. if i can avoid aspirin, that would be great, but i think i can feel the headache coming back on. yesterday was sneezing day; if i can avoid that, that's a start. but, i'm still coughing.

it is of course absolutely bizarre that that review took all week, when i was trying to do work on some legal documents, but it did, and it's done. i'm in all weekend, i have nothing in front of me. i should be able to look at finishing it up, and then making plans to file in early november (remember: i have to get to toronto to do this).

so, i'm going to get some fruit and tie up some loose ends and go from there.

even if i blow another week, don't think this isn't coming. it's a matter of 'when', not 'if'. and, there's no statutory deadline on a request for judicial review...

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
the idea that yelling "you're racist!" is some kind of convincing argument, or some kind of game changer, is retarded.

i don't need polls to tell you that's not going to work.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
https://secureservercdn.net/198.71.233.47/823.910.myftpupload.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/2019-1445-CTV-Globe-ELXN-2019-10-04.pdf

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
again: the tory media is 100% behind the conservatives, and it thinks that the way to win the election is to convince liberal supporters to vote ndp, thereby splitting the vote. it knows it can't convince liberal voters to swing tory.

but, the conservatives are actually running too low right now for that to even work. and, frankly, so are the ndp.

so, you when you see a headline in the toronto sun saying "singh's numbers soar!", or whatever it said, you need to put that into context. these are tory media propaganda outlets, and it's clear as day what they're doing.

sure, i might be wrong - that's tautological. we'll find out in a day or two. but, as of right now, there has not been any significant movement in canada towards the ndp after the debates, and suggestions that there has been are disingenuous, and rooted in bad (on purpose) math.

the only significant polling movement we've been seeing is from the ndp to the bloc in quebec, which was predictable enough at the start of this.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
and, don't think the media doesn't know how to read the polls. i used to think that, too.

the media is not ignorant; the media is dishonest.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
these are the post-debate numbers, for actual scientific pollsters.

Mainstreet Research     October 10, 2019     16.6     ±2 pp     IVR (rolling)
Nanos Research           October 10, 2019     15.3     ±2.8 pp     telephone (rolling)
EKOS                          October 10, 2019     13.1     ±2.2 pp     telephone/IVR
Mainstreet Research       October 9, 2019     15.1     ±2.04 pp     IVR (rolling)
Nanos Research             October 9, 2019     14.1     ±2.8 pp     telephone (rolling)
Forum Research             October 8, 2019     13        ±3 pp     IVR
Mainstreet Research       October 8, 2019     14.3     ±2 pp     IVR (rolling)
Nanos Research             October 8, 2019     13.4     ±2.8 pp     telephone (rolling)    

nanos has a three point margin. so, a movement from 13.4 to 15.3 is within the margin of error. and, if you look at the pre-debate numbers, you'll see that he has them fluctuating around 13-16 the whole time. so, regardless of the headline, nik is not actually picking up a meaningful signal - although he has had them consistently a little higher than some of the other firms.

mainstreet has a 2 point margin, or so they claim. so, a movement from 14.3 to 16.6 is also in the margin. i would expect to see that fall tomorrow or the next day. mainstreet's numbers appear to be converging with nik's, which is a good thing, but it doesn't indicate movement.

forum and ekos have them at 13, which appears to be on the lower end of the scale.

but, the range is 10-19, and that's not a difference compared to the pre-debate numbers.

the ndp will probably lose almost all of their seats east of the rockies.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
the ndp do seem to do a little better in "online polling", but that's a function of the technology - and misleading.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
and, what's my end of week polling analysis?

are the ndp up after a strong debate performance by jagmeet singh?

well, i reject the premise - it's what the tory media is trying to push to split the vote (which is a poor understanding of the situation, to begin with - there's not going to be vote splitting in this election, the conservatives are not competitive enough in urban spaces right now for that to happen). but the signal is not there. and, i don't think he looked very good in the debates, either.

the bloc are up.

everything else is flat.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
this was the opposition's election to take.

and, they failed.

that's the simplistic analysis; it's also the right one.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
if you're pissed off about the liberals winning another majority, and i don't exactly want that outcome, you need to look at the opposition.

elizabeth may is a christian neo-con; she's dangerous. i can't vote for her to hold any balance of anything.

and, jagmeet singh is a blank slate. we really don't have a clue what his politics actually are, or what will happen if we give him any power. but, he represents a party that has a history of turning on it's own voting base. and, he won't cut that damned beard...indicating he operates ideologically and idealistically, rather than rationally or logically.

i don't want to return the liberals to power - they don't deserve it.

but, there's not a better option.

just a few more days before i drop my sig, there, but - 

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

and, we don't seem to have much of any choice but to hope they do.
no, eric. it was obvious. or, at least, it was obvious that the liberals wouldn't be the beneficiary of the ndp's collapse (which, in quebec, appears to be total).

the question was whether quebec was going to swing bloc or green. they were never going to vote liberal, and they were never going to vote alberta, i mean conservative. and, it looks like the bloc won that argument.

but, i suspect the liberals are about to do very, very well in ontario.

the tory media, who still hates his father, wants it to be 1972 so they can bring out their old pinatas; i think it's more like 1997, and the dauphin is reaching to fill the shoes of the old court jester, rather than the old king. this is no ancien regime...but it does look like another majority.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/grenier-liberal-bloc-2019-election-1.5317946

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
how am i feeling?

not good - the headache has lifted (no aspirin since midnight), but i'm now sneezing and coughing and stuffed up pretty badly, with a badly running nose. i guess it could be allergies, partly. but, i think it's best to stay in, tonight.

what's the update on the bike?

i can't find any obvious holes, and it seems to hold air for a while, at least. so, it may have been a prank. or, if it was the cops, they may have been looking for drugs in the rim with a knife (idiots) and left a hairline slit that takes a long time to come down. or, somebody that lives or works near where i parked it may have fucked it up by manhandling it to move it (which would have been unnecessary, but you know.). or my initial hypothesis - that somebody tried to take the tire off to steal it, only to realize it was bolted on and not easily disassembled using bike tools - was botched, which led to a minor break in the tire as it ran up against the rim. basically, it's not clear - but it does seem like there is a hole in the tube, and it seems like it's pretty small. i just pumped it up again this afternoon, and it took about an hour to deflate. so, the tube needs to be repaired or replaced. in the end, i might take a closer look at it and decide that i ran over glass somewhere. given that it seems to be small, i may even be able to patch it. i think i have the right kind of glue...

we'll take a look at this in a bit.

right now, i'm sick and tired and should take a nap.

but, we're done this crazy long review at least, finally.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
so, i was out around 17:00, a little earlier maybe, and went straight to my bike. i had a few ounces of vodka left - maybe two shots. but it tasted awful, at that point. i needed mix. so, we put that away for a few minutes...

i didn't notice anything peculiar about my bike at this point; i just unlocked it and started riding north.

i had $17 and change left, out of $120 for the weekend (which is a lot more in cad).

$80 - $15 (sacri moniti) - $15 (beethoven) - $10 (3 beer @ deluxx fluxx) - $2 (1 beer @ pop off) = $38.

$38 + $40 =  $78.

$78 - $18 (smokes + drinks)  - $5 (trumbullplex) - $18 (6 beer @ marble) - $8 (smokes) - $10 (food) - $2 (coffee @ dso) = $17.

nothing was that expensive, it just added up after a long weekend. and, remember: getting to a machine in detroit is hard. i need to deal with what i have.

i didn't budget for that extra pack of smokes, and probably wouldn't have needed it if it wasn't for the fact that i destroyed the previous one. that gets me up to $25, which is more what i was planning for, going into the dso. so, i bought a coffee instead of a beer...

cover at the post-rock show was $10, leaving me $6 + change for mix and beer, and i should say a little bit about the other show that was happening.

the initial plan was not to go to this post-rock show, with bands i was unaware of, with the exception of this local act called torus, which i had missed a few times previously; rather, the initial plan was to see a legendary psych rock act called the legendary pink dots at el club. and, if i had made it through the night with something closer to $40 than $25, i might have done that.

it was really a cost thing, primarily, i'll acknowledge that. the cover at the lpd show was $25 usd, which is about as steep as i'll ever even think about paying. i usually have a hard time, mentally, with $15. i want cover to be less than $10, usually, unless it's something spectacular. then, there's the $8 beer at el club. you'll note the cost of beer elsewhere - it's $2-$3 everywhere else. even considering that the beer at el club is 1.5 beers, you're still looking at over $5, which is like twice as much. with $25 cover, you'd better show up with at least $35 if you want to actually enjoy the night. i just didn't have it on me...

and, might lpd have been spectacular? i'm sure they were in the 80s and 90s and even a good part of the 00s. i'm a little skeptical, nowadays - and i haven't heard anything from them since the last tear garden record. they would be in their late 60s at this point, and no doubt look a lot older; i remember thinking that ka-spel was in his 70s when he was only in his 40s. so, i might have missed an awesome show, but i suspect i was a little too young for it and would have walked out feeling ripped off by a show that was a little slow and prodding for me. that's gen x, for you - always stuck between, in the glut.

i would have loved to see this band in their prime, but i think i missed it and am ok with accepting it.

but, if you do want to check them out, this is as seminal and underground and important a band as you'll ever find: https://legendarypinkdots1.bandcamp.com/album/angel-in-the-detail

they were always mid-tempo, so when i use language like slow and prodding, it's just a question of whether the edge is still there - and maybe i'm wrong, maybe it is.

so, i found this post-rock show for $10 up in hamtramck instead, and it just made more sense, in context. with the $17 i had left after the symphony, there wasn't actually a choice involved, unless i wanted to spend $10 taking out another $20 (which is closer to $30 cdn), and i didn't.

i stopped at the gas station up woodward, first, to get some mix, and was able to find a tall bottle of faygo mt dew clone for $1.20. it said it had caffeine in it; how much, wasn't clear. it did the trick. so, i'm down to $16 + change.

still no issue with the bike, heading up woodward, up grand, up oakland, over clay, past the russell and into hamtramck via the back way, which took me out to the new dodge from the south. i drove by it the first time...

cycling around a few times, i was able to find a wood post to park at, behind the store next door. i didn't check to see what the store was, and didn't think it was important. bike seemed fine when i left it there with my bag, a little before 18:00....

the kids in torus - and these are kids. really. - were out back early, hanging out in their van. they took the tool comparison as a compliment, and claimed their new material sounded like hum, which seemed like shit-talking (and turned out to be). cost of beer at new dodge: $2 on tap. so, i've got three beers left and five bands to see, and i'm hoping this works out...

the first band up was called "rags and riches" and appears to have lost their guitarist somewhere between here and kentucky, instead coming up with two percussionists and a very poppy (like, new kids on the block or backstreet boys style poppy), hip-hop oriented lead singer. there were points were they had three drummers going; the intent was clearly to make the percussion the centre of the act. i'm not sure how compelling it was, but i'd never seen anything quite like it.

i've looked for sound samples, but i can't find anything without the guitarist so you'll need to seek this out on your own.

the second act up was man mountain, and they did a type of slower moving post-rock that's become kind of standard in the genre, since some midwest kids first heard mogwai. it's that very specifically american post-rock sound that my canadian ears thinks is a little too precious and sappy. it's worth checking out as an opening band, but it's exceedingly generic, too, so you shouldn't expect to be surprised or blow away by it.

https://manmountain.bandcamp.com/

au revoir continued on, and were a little heavier, leaning more towards a pelican or caspian sound. the kids outside were talking about caspian. the effects work is maybe leaning a little towards god is an astronaut, with the spacey sweeps, but i didn't catch a synth player.

again: i enjoyed watching this perched from a bar stool after a super long night, but i like the genre, and it is generic. it's good at what it does, but don't expect any surprises out of this.


shy, low then took it up another notch, while essentially carrying on with the same basic idea. again: you pretty much know exactly what you're getting out of this before it starts.


and, torus came on at the end, and played their one 35 minute song, start to finish:

https://torusdetroit.bandcamp.com/releases

so, the sets on this night were...they were what i expected, and both a pleasant and kind of chill way to end a crazy adventure and a reminder of why i tend to avoid seeing this style of music, live. it'd been a while, it was a nice reprieve. it'll probably be a while before the next time.

i first started feeling ill on this night at around 22:00 or so, between my second and third beers at this venue.

it was early when it was done - 23:30. so, i just had to take a nice slow bike ride back to the tunnel, for 00:30. or, so i thought..

i get around the corner to my bike and realize instantly that the tire has been mangled, but i'm not entirely certain, and am still not, what was going on with it. my sweater is still in my bag, as are my empty prescription bottles, my lipstick and a few other pieces of random trash. it seemed clear that the bag had been handled, but there was no apparent effort to take anything out of it. so, what is this, then? is this vandalism? are the cops bothering me (i think they have before.)?

i tried to ride the thing down the block, and couldn't - there wasn't enough air in the tube to keep the tire on the rim. what else can i do but walk home? without rummaging through my pockets, i'm thinking that i have something like $0.50 cents on me, tops. so, i'm expecting a long walk back to the tunnel, and a long night waiting for the bus. but, there's a gas station just past the russell, on clay, maybe i can talk them into letting me try to fill it up...

i finally rummage through my pockets when i get there. the cost of air is $0.75, and i do actually have it on me. score. and, the tube seemed to take it, so i'm hoping it's enough to get home on.

i get around the corner, past grand, and ask somebody for the time: it's not yet midnight. so, as long as the tires hold, i should make it.

it got a little scary moving up woodward past the fountains at the dia, because i could feel it starting to give. but, once i got to campius martius, i knew i'd catch the bus back. and, my stomach was starting to turn on me, too - i really wanted to get home.

customs was easy, although they seem to have been expecting me. i wonder sometimes just how closely the cops are paying attention to me, as they seem to grin at me in weird ways - not unlike my dad used to, when i came home at 4:15, shitfaced, from a friend's house.

did you have a good night?

you can only weakly nod. but, i was actually pretty sober at this point, what i was noticing more was that my stomach was starting to turn. 

i decide to walk my bike home. from here for the night, to ensure i'm avoiding further damage until i can get a look at it, and there's paramedics waiting around the corner. hrmmn. i'm ok, though - i just keep walking. the cops appear to follow me most of the way home, from this point. i actually think they followed me home on friday, too.

i guess they're checking to make sure i don't have any meetings with secret russian spies on the way, there. but, listen - they'd be screwed even if they caught us. we'd use the cone of silence. they wouldn't be able to hear a thing.

i dunno. whatever.

i stopped to get some nachos on the way home, but actually had to wait for my stomach to come down a bit before i could actually eat them. and, by monday night, i was convinced i'd caught strep throat and must have been dealing with the onset of it.

so, what kind of crazy weekend is this? psychedelic rock, kraut rock and noise punk on friday, followed by a grindcore show on saturday that led into a drum 'n' bass party, beethoven's 5th at the detroit symphony orchestra and a post-rock night to close it off. it's a festival weekend every weekend in detroit, if you know where to find it.

at this stage, this appears certain to be the last long weekend of the summer. so, i'm glad i made the best of it.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
i will remind you that i also have a piece for two pianos.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-symphony-of-psilocybin-induced-madness

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
listening to the conductor - who is not mark zuckerberg, but could easily be mistaken for him - introduce beethoven's fifth was a nice introduction, given the importance of the piece. we got a nice little historical overview, about the reign of terror; i perhaps didn't need it, but it was a nice perspective, nonetheless, combined with a little bit of information about the musical structure of the piece.

the dso has the talk up at their youtube site, so i'm going to post it here.


are they going to post the actual program? it seems like they're posting to youtube, which is something i'd like to maybe go back and check out. maybe i should wait a few days to see if they do.

the program was:

1) WEBER Overture to Oberon  

2) MOZART Concerto for Two Pianos and Orchestra in E-flat major, K. 316a [365]

smoke break

3) BACH Concerto No. 2 for Three Harpsichords and Orchestra in C major, BWV 1064

4) BEETHOVEN Symphony No. 5 in C minor, Op. 67

reviewing classical music is always kind of weird, 'cause, like, you're reading it off the sheets. i know, i know, there's the passion in the playing, i know, trust me, but the listener has to know the piece to get into that, and i'm only going to be to do that for the 5th.

broadly speaking, i like pretty much everything in the western art music tradition - medieval music, renaissance music, baroque music, romantic music, impressionism and minimalism - with the exception of classical and neo-classical music. in fact, that's one of the things i like about beethoven, the revolutionary overturn of the mathematical perfection of the classical period. so, when we start talking about weber (not webern, who i much prefer) and mozart and even bach, we're entering into what i actually think is the low point of the western art music tradition. yeah, i know. i'm sorry...

i can tolerate some early bach; i'm a guitarist, i kind of have to. so, he's in a different category than mozart and weber, to me, because he still has that foot in the renaissance. but, i found these particular opening pieces, none of which i was familiar with, to be kind of harmonically bland, which is my general reaction to music of that period. mozart's compositions are like doing engineering homework; beethoven's compositions are like proving new theorems from first principles.

hearing all the pianos smash against each other was kind of cool, but i otherwise found these works to be fairly forgettable.

what do you say about the actual 5th, though?

it was good.

right.

i mean, how many times have i heard this on cd? 200? 300? i've never seen it live before, though. they did it right. what else can i say?

i spent the symphony largely with my eyes closed, just zoning out into it, which isn't something i'm going to do for every piece, but is probably the right way to listen to this one.

somebody offered me a mint on my way out, which i probably needed. and, i was off to hamtramck to see the post-rock show....

we'll get back to this later.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
i left the club at around 9:30 or so, drove by the sound guys (who were setting up at the art of armageddon, apparently), bought some smokes at the gas station, took another swig of that vodka (you don't think i drank all of it, do you? i can't drink 20 ounces of straight vodka, i'll pass out. there was about 5 ounces left.), parked behind the orchestra and stumbled down to the diner to get some eggs. as mentioned, i was there a little after 10:00 - i remember it being 10:14, exactly.

for reference, the symphony started at 15:00. so, i was going to hang out until 13:30-14:00 or something, then go down early, get a coffee and wait for the thing to start.

and, yes, i nodded off, i think for obvious reasons, now that you know the story. but, let's look at the facts here:

1) i intended to be in the diner for around 3-4 hours, on a sunday morning for brunch, from about 10:00-14:00, at the latest. 3-4 hours for brunch on sunday (from 10:00-14:00) might be the most normal thing in the history of normality - if there's something more normal than that, you'll have to be explicit about it, 'cause i can't imagine it.

2) so, i bought eggs and coffee a little after 10:00. let's say it was 10:30. so, let's say it got there about 10:45, which is about right for this place. i bought an extra side of french fries when i was done, probably around 11:30-ish. so, they would have got there about 11:45-ish. i got sleepy when i was eating my fries. i had not yet finished my coffee.

3) so, i must have dozed off - with my fries and coffee in front of me - from around 12:00-13:00.

4) i am in this establishment frequently, and have always bought things when i'm in it. i have, however, experienced some transphobia from the staff that i've largely shrugged off....

so, you can imagine that i was rather baffled when they sent the cook out - pilate-like. he's the messenger. he didn't care. - to tell me i "wasn't wanted here" and would have to leave before they "call the cops".

i'm not sure exactly what they would tell the officers, should they have come in, while i was finishing my fries and drinking my coffee. i'm not homeless. i wasn't asking people for food or money - and i hadn't finished my meal yet. they would essentially have to admit that they were throwing me out because of my gender expression, and i might point out that they're lucky i'm not an american citizen, because that's a lawsuit they'd have lost, if i was. i would have had to leave if it had come to that, surely, but i'd certainly want to get that report and publish it, as well as hand it off to the detroit business association, to let them deal with it.

it woke me up, at least. i ignored the cook, finished my fries, used the bathroom and came back to the front desk.

"can i talk to your manager?"

"what?"

"the cook just came out and told me you were going to call the police. i want to talk to the manager."

"you've been hear since 10:00."

"it's sunday brunch. i. demand. to. speak. to. your. manager."

"ok..."

a few minutes later, this 20-something arab guy comes out. you can put this together, right? he's not the owner here; i know the owner here. so, we've got some transphobic muslim day manager throwing the gays out of a restaurant he doesn't even own. not acceptable, at all. i rightfully gave him shit for overstepping his bounds...

"is that how you treat your customers?"

and i laced into him for a good ten minutes. i had food in front of me. and, yeah, i'm tired, but so what? when you come in and buy something in a restaurant, you get the booth until you're done. i'm not hanging out without buying anything. i'm not staying for a long time after i've finished, either. i'm literally in the middle of finishing a meal, and waiting for the symphony across the street to start.

and, i demanded a fucking apology.

he did give me one. see, and this is the point you actually want to see in this circumstance - you want this person to understand that they're in the wrong, even if it doesn't click immediately, and i think he clearly did realize that, i could see it in his facial expressions. he looked like he was worried he'd lose his job. he didn't lose his arrogance about it, and his apology was clearly coerced and bullshit, but he knew what he did was wrong.

you might expect me to call for a boycott of the detroit coney one on woodward avenue, after that. you might also expect me to stop going in there. i actually think that's the wrong approach, in context - i will continue coming here (and if they call the cops on me for being queer, we can take it the community and let them adjudicate such a thing - they won't win that debate), and i would even like to put out a call for queers throughout detroit to frequent the coney one more often. let's have big, queer parties there every weekend!

there's laws in place that say you can't do what he did, but that's secondary to the general point - you can't let religious groups move in and put down rules and restrictions like this. if the message i got was "i'm a muslim, and i don't like you, and i want you to leave" then my response is "i'm a queer atheist, and i'll go where i please, and if you don't like it then you can leave, yourself.".

so, let's get all the queers to the coney one, let's take this place over; let's make it ours.

when i was done berating him, i went to the symphony a little early, got a coffee and headed in to hear the pre-show program, by the conductor. we're going to split this off, tactically....

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
the weather for the night is really iffy. there's some chance, still, that this could be a nice night, and there's no indication at all that we'll get another one for months.

but, navigating the evening is going to mean getting out of the show in ferndale close to midnight - and maybe in the rain - and trying to get back to the tunnel for 1:15. should i take the bus? how much change do i have?

actually, that might be the best...yeah.

ok.

so, if i go tonight, i'll take the bus. i should get out in plenty of time. and, i want to get home, i don't want to be there overnight. easy enough.

yeah.

fuck.

let me right this review, first.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
to clarify a point: this might or might not be "gonzo journalism", but all it's intending to be is a journal.

i rigorously avoid naming people, and i'm purposefully fuzzy with places, when i need to be. i want you to be anonymous. you can out yourself, if you want.

but, i'm not telling stories - these are honest recollections, as best as i can present them.

so, a hunter s. thompson fan would certainly see a broad similarity in the things i write about, and may even in the way i write about them, but the philosophy here is really very different; he wrote flat-out fiction, broadly speaking, whereas i'm just leaving out names and contexts.

this shit really happened....

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
i didn't ever do the write-up after the human eye show when the bosnian muslim took me home and gave me those hunter s. thomspon glasses, did i?

she made a kind of a point about it.

was she reading this, too?

i don't know what kind of circulation this really has. but, i get hints. and, i suspect i'd be baffled if i really knew....

the liberals are supposed to do better than this
i was up late enough in the afternoon on saturday to get my tickets printed before the library closed, but i spent some time writing, and i got something to eat, so i wasn't out of the house until well after 21:00. i was sure i'd miss the show, which was supposed to be over at 23:00. thankfully, it was only the second act playing when i got there....

so, i got to see prissy whip, which is what i was there to see, and who came on somewhere around 23:30, i think. sort of. they were supposed to have a female singer, who was a no-show. i don't think anybody really knew the details except the band, but the rumour floating around was that it had something to do with a possessive boyfriend. she apparently made it the st. louis show on thursday, according to the footage, so something appears to have happened in that 48 hour space. hey, i don't know; i was just at the show, and she wasn't.

so, we got an instrumental set, instead, and it was actually fairly compelling, as it was. they're operating in a pretty syncopated style of noise rock, so removing the vocals just brought out the percussive aspects of the guitars, which you may or may not recall are technically percussion instruments, in a technical and eurocentric sense (i guess the arabs and indians would have a different take on the whole thing, but they're not me, so  they can figure that out on their own). so, they basically banged out this three part drums-guitar-bass percussion set for a few minutes and then abruptly stopped and that was that.

so, i'm hesitant to post something because it wouldn't really be an accurate representation of what i actually saw. but, you can check them out by googling them. they come recommended heavily by deerhoof, and there's reasons for it, even if it's maybe a little closer to melt banana, overall.

i did check out part of the next set, which was by a band called "pig's blood", but it was just screaming and yelling and breaking things and i don't listen to that kind of shit, so i was just back outside within seconds...

i actually spent a lot of time talking to the people outside that night, who were all 30+, and all felt like they were too old to be there, but in fact were exactly the right age. there actually weren't any kids there, and i'm the only one that seems to have actually got their head around this a long time ago: there haven't been any kids at any spaces like this in a long time, now. these kinds of shows are often 40+, let alone 30+. i'm ok with that; i don't want to hang out with kids in their 20s, anyways. but, it seemed to be the first time it clicked for some of these guys.

i also want to make a general point about my social skills when i'm drinking. yes - i'm friendly (in a good way) when i'm drunk. i talk to girls, and i talk to boys, and i talk to people in between, and i don't tend to really think much of it. i didn't used to be this friendly or this confident, though; i didn't used to have the nerve to just stumble into a group of random people of whatever gender and start talking to them, no matter how drunk i was. rather, i used to be a quiet, distant drunk that would sit in the corner and avoid eye contact and only speak meekly when spoken to. so, my confidence is a function of the transition; it wasn't there before, and it won't be there anymore if you take it away. that is, in fact, one of the medical cases for doing it - it gives people better social skills, because they feel more comfortable in their outward presentations. that's one of the things about this that people tend to have a hard time with, because i guess i just come off as having a bit of a swagger sometimes (which is a misinterpretation of the reality).

the actual truth is that i'm actually completely asexual and completely disinterested in romance, and while i do understand that this maybe isn't always as clear as i assume it should be, that doesn't change the truth of it, and shouldn't affect how i'm behaving.

so, i'm talking to what i presume to be a cisfemale about alcohol/caffeine mixtures, mountain dew and rockstar vodka, and she gets bored and walks off when i point out that i don't watch tv, 'cause i guess that had something to do with her perspective on mountain dew. i have heard something about a boycott, but i actually haven't looked into it, and i don't know what it's really about. i don't think i've ever seen a mountain dew commercial, ever. i legitimately didn't ask for her name and don't know it, and don't even actually even care, but am happy to wish her a goodnight, regardless - i'm just about to get up and leave, myself; this is just stage one of a long weekend, for me. this kind of random conversation is something that happens at least a few times for me, every weekend, in detroit - it's nothing special, nothing unusual. but, i look up and there's a dude grinning ear-to-ear on the bench.

"i didn't want to interrupt the conversation, but...."

the implication is clear enough, but it's completely wrong, and as mentioned, i've been through it before. but, i grasp that it's a hard thing to get your head around - you don't see somebody that feels confident in a female identity and is just having a girl-to-girl conversation about beverages, you see a confident guy with an array of pick-up lines that seems to be working, and are impressed by it and feel the need to comment on it. and, maybe you're tickled by the irony of it, given that you might have it in the back of your mind that you'd like to fuck me. but, you're wrong, dammit. every time...

i'm always just looking to hang out, and i'm sorry if i come off as friendly, but you gotta adjust, 'cause i'm not going to tone it down.

anyways..

after i realized the nature of the last band, i decided that i'd finish my spiked lemonade and go ahead on to the club when it was down to a few sips, or mostly done. and, as it was, i was in the process of leaving relatively soon, when somebody handed me a 40 of vodka, and i think you want to imagine a morricone-esque voiceover here, dry and somewhat chapped, just because.

"i don't want it, man. take what you want. i'm done."

we weren't actually in the desert, and the sun wasn't actually beating down (although the weather was pleasant), and he didn't actually spit after he told me to take what i want, and he didn't actually stumble off into the distance, but that is all secondary to the 40 of vodka i've been handed and instructed to do as i will with.

my bottle of mountain dew - 710 ml, or 24 oz - was down to the last fifth or so, at that point. i didn't fill it up, exactly, but i did take a fair amount.

so, i ended up at the club a little bit later and a little bit drunker than i intended to. i am often accused of being drunk when i'm actually not; on saturday, such accusations would have had merit, although i don't actually recall hearing them, which perhaps merely stresses the point.

i remember asking somebody what time it was when i got in. it was 1:15. early enough..

and, i remember quickly buying several drinks. i broke a five, broke a ten, broke the five i got back from the ten and then handed over three crumpled 1's - i remember all of this. did the drum and bass set play late? it seemed that way...

then it's a little blurry. until....

"you can't sleep at the club".

so, i jumped up, checked my pockets. i didn't immediately remember opening my second pack of smokes, and i thought i had an extra three dollars. i felt ok, though. so, i bought another beer and went back to dancing. we're clear, memory-wise, from here until i got to the diner...

what happened? well, you tell me, right. but, i can deduce a few things.

i found my cigarette pack a little later in my other back pocket and was initially confused about it. it had been ripped open the wrong way (from the bottom of the pack) and was half missing, almost as though it got cut up for filter. i was initially kind of baffled by that, but i now actually remember lighting a few cigarettes backwards, taking a few tries to figure it out, and then making an adjustment around it. so, i very specifically recall taking smokes out of my back pocket and flipping them around before i lit them - five or ten times, at least. that's what would happen if you rip your pack open from the bottom. i guess i gave a bunch away, but i do recall smoking out of the pack, on second thought.

in fact, i remember the smell of burning filter, and remember stomping them out, as though they were defective, and the next one would be better, just to have the same thing happen. there must have been a stash of five-ten wasted cigarettes out there, lit from the filter, and otherwise unsmoked.

i actually have a habit of smoking cigarettes backwards when i'm drunk, and only do it when i'm drunk. that's an idiosyncratic giveaway. if you ever see me do this, you know i'm drunk...

i know i was out in the back area when i was pulling the smokes out of my pocket. i wasn't asking around, but that takes me pretty late in the morning.

so, i must have sat down around 5:00-5:30 and nodded off for a few minutes, before somebody woke me up.

as it is, i know i enjoyed dancing to the drum and bass set through the night and through the course of at least the first four beers. i remember thinking "the set is going to end soon", and then it not ending, and kind of putting off having that smoke until it did. the music was good, and the dancing was good, so i kept with it, and avoided going off for that smoke a little longer than i normally would have - a sign i was having fun. and, maybe, the more i think about it, the more i remember buying that fifth beer. maybe? i'm sure i did, anyways...

as mentioned, the sixth beer happened after the nod, and i was able to spend the last hours of the set dancing, as the sun came up - which is the actual point of this sordid exercise. whatever experience i had with that vodka and those cigarettes earlier, i do remember dancing at sunrise. so, i'd argue it was worth it.

of course, it's my fault. i poured it. i drank it. but, i can promise you i'll do the same thing next time, if you give me a 40 of vodka and tell me to have at it, and i don't feel any particular shame about it, either. hey, i don't pretend i'm responsible; i have no responsibility to be responsible. rather, the operative question is this: how often do you get handed a 40 by a stranger and told to go to town with it? so, shouldn't you take advantage of the situation, because it's rare? if it happens again, i'll do the same thing, but what are the chances, right?

the set was done a little early, and the weather was warmer than expected, so i'm outside at roughly 9:00 with some people i think i've partied with before, and they want to roll a joint, but need to get into a car, because they're tired, themselves. so, before i know it, i'm in the car with them. and they're driving....

the driver claims he knows an after hours spot. dude, it's 9:00. you were at the after hours spot. but, we're nonetheless off for a spin, to find an empty spot (of course), before heading back to the bar. but, the puff was well received, just right then.

the audio guys are finishing up, and i had to ask them for a smoke, because i was actually out (or had otherwise destroyed my own pack). so, i'm having a smoke outside the bar when it starts raining, and it passes fairly quick.

"you don't think you're coming back in?", he says. and, this is the only suggestion i received that i may have been a little wilder than i recall...

but, i didn't want to come back in.

"you were on edibles last weekend, you said?"

it was the week before, actually. but, did i tell him that? or did he read it?

well, maybe he can read this, too.

i got to the diner around 10:00, and we'll start a new review for sunday.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this