seems like they deleted the pencil button again. ugh.

so, that was a stupid waste of time.

back to what i was doing...

so, what happened?

i don't know. google hasn't communicated with me, yet. but, as before, 

1) google told me what it did.

2) google reacted when i pushed back.

i suppose that it could be some kind of ploy to lead me down a path, but all evidence suggests google is on my side, here - even if it ends up being pontius-like, in the end.

rather, it seems like somebody else other than google is coming here, getting upset and flagging posts, and it is simply unclear at this point whether this is law enforcement or just some random moron that i don't care about, and have no interest in the opinion of.

whomever you are, get this through your head - i don't care what you think. i don't care whether you're offended. and, i have no intention of being silenced by you. go away....

but, tell me who you are - because as far as i'm concerned, you're a fucking coward. you sit there and hide behind your computer and tattle on me because i said some bad words. it's juvenile.

your opinion is of no concern to me, and of no consequence to anybody.

grow up. fuck off. go away.

and, feel free to kill yourself while you're at it.

ok.

i haven't got the email yet, but it seems to be back to normal.

i'm going to cycle, anyways.

the way the system is designed is that any fucking retard can make any stupid accusation they want, and the system reacts first and then investigates after. and, then there's no consequences of making a false report.

that needs to change - people need to be held responsible for harassing people like this.

listen, there's only two possibilities here.

1) some combination of the police and google are trying to shut me down. google can answer that question by undoing the false flag. or

2) i'm actually the one under cyberattack - and that that has happened before.

there is no link in the post, it's just a picture of the front page.

so, that's what i'm doing tonight - reposting that picture over and over until they stop deleting it.

this is what they sent in order to justify their deletion of the item:

 Hello,

     As you may know, our Community Guidelines  

(https://blogger.com/go/contentpolicy) describe the boundaries for what we  

allow-- and don't allow-- on Blogger. Your post titled "" was flagged to us  

for review. We have determined that it violates our guidelines and deleted  

the post, previously at  

http://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2021/05/this-is-obviously-utter-nonsense-so-i.html.

     Why was your blog post deleted?

     Your content has violated our Malware and Viruses policy. Please visit  

our Community Guidelines page linked in this email to learn more.

     We encourage you to review the full content of your blog posts to make  

sure they are in line with our standards as additional violations could  

result in termination of your blog.

     For more information, please review the following resources:

     Terms of Service: https://www.blogger.com/go/terms

     Blogger Community Guidelines: https://blogger.com/go/contentpolicy

     Sincerely,

     The Blogger Team

=====

so, that's completely ridiculous, and this is just google trying to shut me down, plain and simple.

fwiw, that post with the "dangerous" jpg was deleted, so there's my first example of overt censorship by google.

i've been telling you for years that the intelligence agencies are keying in on me.

i suppose the truth is that i must have posted something that upset somebody in power, somewhere, and they tagged me as a hacker in retaliation.

but, what i need to do is cycle this machine and see if it makes a different.

this is obviously utter nonsense, so i need to find a way to request a review.

if the catholic church excommunicates biden, he should retaliate by ordering them to pay taxes.

earlier study: antibodies are only observed after a single dose of vaccine if a previous infection already occurred. so, you’re probably only immune after one dose if you were already immune anyways.

current study: more antibodies are produced by delaying the second dose than by sequencing the two doses in the manner that the science suggested would be most effective. so, the science was all wrong and the government got it right, after all. gee. how ‘bout that.

so, what’s the conclusion if you put these things together? is it:

1) you should wait longer between doses because your body reacts more aggressively if the doses are spaced in greater temporal distances, via some unknown mechanism that defies both reason and common sense or

2) people that wait longer between doses are more likely to catch the virus while they’re waiting, thereby stimulating the natural immunity that appears to be the most effective strategy in building immunity to any particular strain?

the media, no doubt via government prompting that is trying to justify the approach it was forced to take due to low supply, says (1). i might suggest that (2) is a far better hypothesis.

i’m not trying to argue that vaccination is pointless – i advise vaccinating yourself if you’re at risk. but, this is the time of year when flu shots stop working, and this first dirty run through a covid vaccine should be expected to be less effective than booster shots in future years will be.

and, from what i can see, the science is clear enough – while getting vaccinated is at worst probably a harmless placebo, chances are that you’re going to beat the initial collection of strains on your own, even if you do get vaccinated.

so, i’ll hold out a little longer, thanks.

so, i can talk to the gastro-enterologist again on may 28th, and i‘ll need to try the xray center again after breakfast.

greyhound is done in canada, which is going to be annoying in the short run but might work out in the long run.

the greyhound station in downtown windsor is also the city’s main bus station, including the start and stop point for the tunnel bus. i’d guess the city will have to buy it, but i doubt it wants to shell out the cash. i wonder if it can even just seize it.

the context is a little broader than the pandemic, though. ontario has recently announced plans to allow for competition in the intercity bus market (greyhound previously enjoyed a near monopoly), which is the kind of inefficient competition in the face of a natural monopoly that just leads to market failure – there’s simply not enough of an intercity bus market to allow for meaningful competition, nor would it be desirable to have competition in bus services, so you’re going to end up with ten unprofitable firms operating routes at 30% capacity, rather than one profitable firm operating at 80% capacity. it’s a typically economically illiterate decision by a typically economically illiterate provincial conservative party, but this one doesn’t even seem to be driven by corruption, as so many of them are – this is just dumb, flat out. this is what happens when you elect people that are driven by a backwards, irrational economic ideology that operates outside of empirical bounds. there may be a price drop in the short run for certain routes, if you can find a route at all, but it’s not going to be sustainable, and more likely is that most routes just won’t operate at all, because they’re just not profitable to operate. that’s the point of having the monopoly. so, in the end, we’re going to need to re-establish a monopoly with government subsidies if we want intercity public transport at all and this experiment with the inefficiency of markets in a natural monopoly will need to be undone. this is especially regressive in the face of the need to focus on less wasteful forms of transportation in the face of imminent catastrophic climate change. and, here in windsor, we might end up cut off from the rest of canada until the train gets extended here, and that could be upwards of ten or even twenty years.

it’s going to dramatically increase our reliance on detroit.

and, i’m probably going to need to get used to hitching if i want to get to toronto – including to appear in court.

thanks doug.

an epic battle between the oceans and the vortex would be an interesting sound art project, wouldn’t it?

i’m closing my discography off in 2013, under the assumption that i‘ll be lucky to even get there, but what happens if i do? i should really go over all of this writing, in fact starting earlier than that, and start pulling out ideas to convert into sound art projects, and then date those properly.

in the end, my post-2013 sound art might be a soundtrack to this blog.

that’s 100 pages at 11 pt, 8”x11”. it’ll be something like twice that when i convert it to 5x8, 12pt.

then again, all mammals are really just giant specialized rats.

i had to crash this morning, but that was a more normal amount of sleep for me after what was three normal/”long” days. the weather is stabilizing and that always helps, with me – i’m most productive when it’s hot and humid out, and these pressure system rollercoasters just drive my insides haywire. we’ve been all over the place this spring, from record heat to frost advisories, which is reflective of the flux going on right now, where the oceans may be fighting a final, epic battle against the vortex, for the next hundred thousand years. the north will no doubt rise again, but our species may not survive long enough to see it.

so, i’m feeling a lot more “normal”, and i think whatever was wrong with me seems to be clearing itself up. i’m expecting more normal ferritin levels when i do the test on monday, but i can’t get cocky about it and need to follow through. it’s annoying, but i get it.

i got the blood lab in the mail yesterday, but i’m going to wait until early in the week to do it. i did not get the fit sheet in the mail yet, but that was only requested on tuesday. i’m going to cal the gastric specialist like now. i’m also going to call an imaging specialist back about doing a bone density test for osteoporosis.

the diet document is now updated to mid july 2020, and i want to focus on that for the day. it flips over to actual work on the issue in september, meaning the introductory chapter is going to end up being about 100 pages.

you realize that beavers are actually giant, specialized rats right?

covid cases in ontario should indeed continue to fall with the rising temperatures, lockdown or not. but, i don’t expect substantive restrictions to lift until  next spring. last summer wasn’t actually that bad here – unless your social lifeline happens to be concerts in small venues, across an international border..

i would be surprised if phog even opens at all before labour day.

but, that was a long time ago.

if you want to be a composer in today's world, there's no room for you in the school system - you need to go join the underground, instead.

that's the stark, actual reality - it's a system that sells false dreams of pop stardom to mostly talentless rich kids, while discarding anybody interested in the topic in an academic sense as unmarketable.

it really is reflective of the backwardsness of modern existence, though.

out of all of these kids in the class, i was probably the most interested in writing actual classical music - as one would expect from a first-year arts course, the class was half-filled with poptarts and half-filled with just rich kids that were flat out losers, all around.

and, what the school told me in not so many words was that it wasn't interested in students that were interested in being composers - it only wanted students that were interested in performing pop music.

maybe i should provide just a tad bit of context around the satanic choir.....

this isn’t why i failed the course; i failed the course because i didn’t even show up to the singing exam, because i knew i couldn’t pass it. but, as mentioned, the more correct way to look at it is that i lost interest in the department because they were forcing theory students to pass singing exams, and i disagreed with that on principle. i’m a little more moderate than i was back then; back then, if i found myself up against some systemic stupidity such as this, i just walked off and looked for something else to do. i didn’t have time to argue with them, i could just read up on the theory on my own. so, when i realized i had no choice but to sing whether i wanted to or not, i just got totally bored and disinterested and tuned out. or, you could look at it this way - if i realized that i had to pass each course separately to get the pre-req, i would have dropped the course before i failed it, rather than hope i could get 95% on the theory, 35% on the singing and have it balance out., to allow for the pre-req. i mean, that’s not ideal, but it’s how you deal with irrational requirements in first year pre-requisites – you just kind of plug through it, until you can get to more interesting material. that’s not how they calculated the grade, though...

so, when i said i picked all of the wrong notes, i mean that i did exactly what i was told not to do, and i did so in a systemic manner, across the piece. the initial piece was about forty seconds, or something – it’s slowed down here to whole notes across the board, and the tempo is cut to the lowest option in the scorewriter. so,  at each opportunity that i had to fill in a note for the voice leading, i did it exactly wrong, and i did this systematically – always the worst note possible, every time, no matter what.

i think that the assignment part ends when the solo philip glass influenced bass line comes in. i don’t really remember.

as the intent of the piece was choral, and the style of music is starkly christian in origin, there are actually religious justifications for the banning of the notes that i systematically picked that go back very deep into greek history, and are ultimately thought to originate in the pythagorean number mysticism cult. christian choral music has a very defined sound to it that we all know well, and the reason it sounds like that is that they restrict the notes you’re allowed to use, and flat out ban specific intervals. like, you could get excommunicated for publishing the wrong harmonic intervals – this was serious shit, partly because the myth (thought real by the religionists) was that the evil, scary intervals were legitimately channelling the forces of evil.

so, when i take a christian choral piece and i load it up with what i’m calling satanic notes, that’s not empty symbolism – there’s something very real to that description, in historical terms. and, it’s exactly why i did it, too. fuck jesus, hail satan!

it may be a tad cliched, in the broader scope, but my defense of such a claim would be that i’m not being haphazard about this – it’s truly systematic, and 100% completely, utterly wrong from a church music perspective. that gives it a little more depth, in that sense.

so, i hope that fills in the blanks, a little.

inri050 is a piece written for electronic choir, which occupied my attention for parts of the fall of 2001 and carries on from "the intersection..." in exploring my disdain for traditional music theory.

=====

this was a piece i wrote up in the fall of 2001. i can't remember exactly what the root of it was, but it had something to do with a voice-leading assignment for what was the equivalent of a course in music theory 101. the root of the piece may consequently come from what was presented to me. i can't recall exactly - but i believe the assignment was to build the different voices up. 

my negative relationship with music theory is stated throughout this page and was well established well before the end of 2001. i had an interest in the music theory course for the purposes of deconstructing the theory - in the context of writing, specifically, and not performing. i actually have one of those classic stories - i failed this course. it is actually the _only_ course i have _ever_ legitimately received an _F_ in. hey, if einstein can fail math, i can fail music theory. 

the story actually revolves around sight-reading aspect of the course, and specifically it's vocal content. there were three aspects of the course (theory, vocal sight-reading and african drumming which i'm thinking was meant to be a rhythmic component but was really just a ridiculous waste of time). i really wish they would have let me sight read on a guitar, or even a piano, because i'm just simply not a talented singer; i've never had aspirations to become one, and i had a lot of problems controlling my vocals. even with that being said, the reality is that i had a very low level of _interest_ in this. i probably could have passed the course if i spent less time on abstract algebra and more time singing in the mirror, but i just couldn't be bothered... 

i really disapprove of the way the course was designed. i was interested in learning about music theory, and needed the course as a pre-req for more advanced courses, which i never ended up taking. i still don't fully understand why i had to pass a singing exam to take further composition courses. the best answer i got was that the school didn't want graduates who couldn't pass a singing exam, but i was at no point enrolled in a b. music so it's a pretty weak response. 

anyways, this was a voice-leading assignment that i perverted into something mildly atonal and then built up into something else. you can hear it if you listen, except that it's all "wrong". i'd have to sit down and analyse it to come to a more detailed exposition on it's "wrongness", and i'm not going to, but it's not hard to hear how "wrong" it is, either. 

i was clearly listening to a lot of glass at the time, but this goes beyond his medievalism. i'm using so many "wrong" notes that it's ultimately just chromatic - although there's no tone rows or anything that's formally serialist about it. it's not meant to abolish the structure so much as it's meant to just flaunt the rules. that gives it an almost satanic feel, in the context of a vocal piece using "forbidden" intervals.

but, looking back, i think that what the piece really explores is existential anguish. i was in the second year of a math degree (after switching from physics after switching from software engineering) and really had little idea where i was going with it. i was considering switching into music and probably would have had i not failed the singing exam. the thing is i actually knew i was going to fail the course at that point, and was just feeling lost as a result of it. i ended up in math as this sort of default choice, vaguely thinking i might end up teaching somewhere but not having any real interest in it... 

so much choice, so few options. i suppose that this is how i expressed what i was feeling about this reality at the time. 

i can't remember the exact way this happened, but i believe the piece was initially written for voice (as a voice-leading assignment) and then expanded into further voices and then converted into a composition for nine instruments. i believe the primary reason i converted it from a vocal piece is that i ended up writing well outside a realistic vocal range, but i've kept the electronic choir parts as they are because i'm not really restricted to reality in this way. i've picked halloween as the date, but that's symbolic - it was around then, anyway. it would have been around december that it was put aside, because i don't remember working on it after i moved. 

i've included the midi files of the original composition, if you'd like to mess with it on your own. 

written in the fall of 2001. rendered, remastered and remixed in late september and early october, 2014. released oct 3, 2014. the string mix was corrected for clicks on june 1, 2015, but unfortunately left accidentally inverted. this was corrected on oct 21, 2017. the lead track was re-rendered with the clickless string mix on oct 21, 2017. disc finalized on oct 21, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version of the track (track 1) appears on my fifth record, jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj (inri052): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2001, 2014, 2015, 2017). 

released october 31, 2001 

j - programming, effects, mixing, production, composition. 

the various rendered electronic orchestras include voice, piano, bells, synthesizer, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, electric bass and guitar.