it's certainly not any better than last night (when i didn't get cold until around 3:00), so i need to get out of here for the night, at least.

unfortunately, there's some chance of rain tonight, but it looks fairly minor. the low is 21, which is ok with a sweater, but kind of a cool night, overall.

so, i'm just going to put a sweater on and go out sit on my step. i should be able to continue doing laundry, that way. and, i won't need to spend $10 on coffee.

it will get much better tomorrow. but, i learned today that the crux of the problem really is that the a/c is just simply set way too low. the high ended up being a slightly cool 27, which is still not much more than enough to turn the heat off, but the a/c was running like it was 45 degrees outside. it's just a fundamental disconnect with reality...

for right now, i just need to get to a warmer environment so i can do some work. we'll see what the long-term ramifications of what happened today really are, in time.

*sigh.*

unfortunately, it seems as though i'm going to have to sit in the shower all night to prevent myself from shivering.

i have a lot of work to catch up on, but i need to somehow adjust the environmental conditions to a way that allows me to actually work. it is simply too cold to function, right now.

i wonder if i could maybe go sit outside a timmy's somewhere, instead. it's not going to be hot tonight, but a sweater will probably work better at retaining heat outside.

let me take a hot shower first to warm up.

i can't handle sitting in here, shivering all night. but, if i end up having to evacuate due to the cold, i'm going to have to ask for a rent reduction.

i think everybody was surprised about how easily ottawa got off with this. i guess that, for whatever reason, it didn't really make it's way there earlier.

i'm sure it's been spreading in the local population for months (it's hit both montreal and toronto, so this is different than bc - it's actually maybe more like alberta), it just hasn't gotten into the hospital system, yet.

ottawa is famous for being a very big town rather than being a mid-sized city. the downtown core sucks; it's a boring, sleepy government town. so, the potential for spread is perhaps lower, because less things happen there - people that are interesting tend to leave ottawa in droves before they turn 30, because there's just nothing there.

but, if it's starting to pick up, it could very well go through a proper pandemic peak, which would put down reasonably bounds of about 1000 deaths or so.

the province didn't have the data required to make the decision, which is it's own fault. but, it should have known that ottawa was going to be a problem, once it finally hits.

https://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/covid-19-43-new-cases-in-ottawa-drive-concerning-increase-in-ontarios-case-count

"fat shaming" is actually one of the best examples i know of that demonstrates just how badly this new fake left has lost it's way, in it's descent into what is actually progressive/conservative backwardsness.

any halfways decent leftist really ought to argue that fat shaming is a good thing, if it works, because it removes the need for more aggressive approaches to address the very serious problem of widespread obesity in contemporary society. and, if it doesn't work, what that means is that we need to find a better approach to cutting down obesity rates.

and, these fake left idiots all just called me a fag for (1) using big words and (2) arguing that obesity is a public health issue. i mean, that's where we are with these people.

stop stigmatizing stroke survivors! it's just natural variation. so what if people have strokes? have you never had a stroke? so, let's all accept having strokes and be more positive about it.

it's organized retardation. really. it shouldn't be political; rather, these fucking idiots ought to be condemned across the spectrum as being unable to string together a coherent thought. this is something that ought to be denounced by everybody, everywhere.

instead, it's slowly being embraced by both sides, as the number of obese people continues to skyrocket, year over year.

leftists should be arguing that we need stronger means of informal social control, not this weird, defeatist position that we should accept that it's ok to be unhealthy, and everybody has else has to adjust to the presence of large proportions of the population constantly being dangerously overweight.

an interesting, and perhaps understudied, development that's unfolding in front of us is a growing divide between those of us who are physically healthy and those of us who are overweight, or otherwise deeply unhealthy.

if you look at the stats, countries like the united states have enough obese people to form a strong voting bloc. it's maybe less true in canada, but it's heading in that direction.

it increasingly seems like the way things are unfolding is that the unhealthy are going to want the state to step in and protect them. this runs the gamut from locking down the society in a weak flu-like pandemic to protect them from getting sick (when everybody else can more or less shrug it off), to perspectives around what the new pseudo-left calls "fat shaming" (and what the literature more generally refers to as informal means of social control). a trend that may develop is that the healthy are going to end up increasingly resentful of the unhealthy, who are mostly that way due to poor lifestyle decisions, and increasingly disinterested in altering their lifestyles to accommodate for them.

i don't think it's fair to characterize this as a conflict between the strong and the weak, for the reason that the obese are going to lean towards the wealthier classes, and the more healthy classes will likely be the poorer ones. so, the model in place is not one of strong, wealthy people altering their lifestyles to protect those of the poor and vulnerable, but rather the healthy poor being forced to adjust to the unhealthy and excessive lifestyles of the upper middle class, the bourgeoisie and the aristocracy. this strong/weak thing is too simple.

but, i've been dealing with this for years, and i'm increasingly frustrated. first, i had the obese retired idiot that insisted on setting the a/c below 20. then, i had the barely less obese "medicinal marijuana" user that was too lazy to smoke outside. i wouldn't be surprised to learn that they're both dead. and, now i have somebody that appears to need the a/c way too low to accommodate for a rather sedentary lifestyle. in each case, it's the same basic problem - i'm healthy and the other person isn't, and we can't tolerate the expectations required of each other to adjust to that difference.

which is to say that we may ultimately have a public health issue at the core of a developing political divide, and a developing problem with people that insist they have the right to be unhealthy, and that everybody else is obliged to accommodate them for it.

i mean, i wish i could just turn the heat up to about 27-28 or so and then let it sit there. that way, if we get a cooler dip, the heater could fill in to undo it.

we should return to more pleasant temperatures tomorrow and the next day.

for now, i'm going to just have to run the hot water and the stove to keep the heat up. i guess.

at least when you're hot, you can just wear less clothes.

when you're cold, there's no solution, generally.

see, this is outrageous, and i hope he gets a huge payout, in the end.

but, it's exactly why i won't get tested.

this is what the government does to you if you follow their advice and get tested, then assert you're an individual with rights, in this country.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/prince-edward-island/pei-covid-man-jailed-brudenell-1.5657398

if you're going to turn the a/c on - if you have to. - you should have it to set to at least 30 degrees, so it doesn't kick in until it's actually hot, which is much warmer than 30, that's for sure.

i mean, your body temperature is 38. and, i'm sure i'd be happiest with the inside temperature close to that...

i'm going to eat because at least the stove is running in the other room...

i'm starting to shiver again. ugh.

it's only 24 degrees outside.

that's barely hot enough to turn the heat off, and he has the a/c on. fuck.

what does a person do, here? i can't open the window to let the heat in - it's not even hot out.

when somebody pays you over $700 worth of rent per month, they should have the right to never, ever be cold, as a result of it.

if that means turning the stove on for the next three months and sending the landlord the bill for it and then taking him to court for his negligence, so be it.

i'm not going to to turn myself into a drug addict to escape the air conditioning.

i'm going to get the heat in here up to reasonable, summer-like levels, which is the high 20s. somehow.

so, a few minutes after my last post, i started shivering again. as before, the temperature outside had recently plummeted from pleasant 30+ temperatures to generally unpleasant, but in context flat out cold, sub-20 degree temperatures, and i wasn't able to adjust to the sharp cool down without going into pre-hypothermia.

the a/c didn't help, but the root problem was the temperature change outside.

what do you do when you get cold in the summer? you can't turn the heat up. extra layers generally don't help. you can't go outside to warm up, because the problem is it cooled down outside.

i sat in the hot shower for almost four hours (and had to sit down), until the temperature warmed up in the unit enough that i stopped shivering, at least. that allowed me to finally get some sleep, at least.

now, it's cold in here because of the a/c, so i've got the stove running and the hot water running to counteract it.

i've made repeated complaints about the a/c and am just reacting to protect the sanctity of my health. these devices are horrible - i could have died of hypothermia this morning, and i would hope he'd be liable for third degree murder as a result of it.

and, i don't understand it. it was beautiful and hot out this week - not quite the nicest week of this year, but probably the nicest week of most years. why would you want it to be fucking cold?

for right now, i'm too distracted and agitated to do much of anything, so now i don't expect to do anything tonight.

maybe i should just go to sleep and wake up when the sun is up and i can re-open the windows to let the heat in (they're closed right now, because it's colder outside than it is in here).

yeah..

yeah, this is...

now i'm coming down off the nicotine, and i know i can do this, but this isn't good. it's distracting. ugh. i want to be more productive than this.

so, it's feeling more and more like i'm going to have to wait this out. i think that what i wanted to get out of my system is now out, and i could very well opt for a straight-edge approach to the rest of the summer, if i can just find a way to blunt the a/c in here. or, maybe i'll just start going for walks outside to warm up when i get cold.

i want to adjust to a concept of normalcy, but i don't want to waste the rest of the summer, so it may have to wait until christmas.

and, maybe the price will come down a little in the interim.

"i thought you wanted to be a rock star?"

all i've ever articulated is absolute contempt for rock stars and the lives they live. i don't even like rock music.

have you been to my bandcamp site? listen to some of it, the link is on the side.

i'm a composer. i make classical music. and, when i go to see a concert, it's almost certainly going to be some kind of experimental punk - not a rock band of any traditional construction.

the biggest venue i've been in in detroit is actually probably orchestra hall, to see some symphonies. the biggest concert i've been to since i've moved here was probably beethoven's fifth.

the only show i've seen at the ground floor majestic theatre was the melvins & melt banana gig (they opened for a british band that i think is terrible and always forget the name of), which was a few thousand people.

very, very few of the shows i go to have more than 100 people at them, and it's startlingly rare to get me at a concert with more than 1000 people.

i haven't been in any of the sports stadiums. i haven't been to the fox. i haven't been to the fillmore.

i suppose it's possible, but it's become less likely as older famous musicians die off. i don't want to assign a cut-off point or something, because it's getting across the wrong idea; while there have been very brief periods where mainstream music dips into the underground (1966-1970, 1989-1993), mainstream music has, in general, been unlistenable from the time that the concept of "mainstream" existed. but, i at least grew up with some of the older stuff. i don't have the slightest interest in contemporary pop.

so, i'd be more likely to go see somebody like peter gabriel than go to much of anything contemporary. as that generation dies, i'm going to be less and less likely to ever step foot into these venues. gen x just turned out to be a giant disappointment; they haven't demonstrated the same talent level as they've aged, or at least the ones that are alive haven't. we just don't have that space in pop culture for art anymore. the sports arenas are especially unlikely for me to ever go to, for that reason.

so, i'm actually not calling for the return of huge events; i don't actually care about big events. what i'm calling for is the return of intimate concerts in very small venues, which is all i've ever cared much for from the start.

yeah. option 4.

this was clearly a mob hit of some sort, and they're just playing with the incompetent cops in the region.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/martin-carpentier-body-found-1.5656886

so, as punishment for their crimes, what parliament should do is expropriate every dime of their property, throw the bourgeois residents on the street and convert the units into homeless shelters.

i don't want their charity.

they shouldn't exist at all.

https://ottawacitizen.com/news/property-brothers-kielburgers-facing-scrutiny-over-we-organizations-50m-real-estate-empire/wcm/cf65d1ae-1432-4099-a8a8-f895283badc9/

so, just exempt yourself, then.

why march around in circles and chant? just do it.

https://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/i-exempt-myself-protesters-march-against-mandatory-masks/wcm/ebd1834f-6dea-4f2b-868f-c15f66cf7d1e/

so, i got more ranting done today than cleaning, but i got myself cleaned (or at least a start on it. that sunburn back in june took weeks to heal, and because i had nowhere to go, i just let the dead skin sit to let it heal on it's own. the sense of wallowing in one's own filth that is associated with marijuana use (it's gross. it really is.) means that it really built up, and i now have a lot of dry skin to peel off.

i took a major pass at it on saturday, one today and i'll need to take another in another day or two. at the worst of it last week, it must have looked like i had eczema or something. it was just peeling off in strips, but i mostly just let it sit.

i'm also at least two shades of foundation darker than i was previously. it's probably closer to four. i didn't worry about it when i went on that ride to leamington, because i just never burn. in fact, i was out from noon until 22:00 biking over country roads in the direct sun, at just about high solstice. i never burn, but i got fried.

what usually happens is that i jump up a shade or so almost on contact with the sun (in april, or may) and that extra pigment entirely prevents any kind of burning for the rest of the year.

but, this year was weird. except to go out to smoke, i've been stuck inside since march, with no relief in sight. and, the sun didn't come out until june. so, when i finally got the chance, it wasn't until peak solstice, and i got roasted.

i've got laundry going...

...and i'm going to try to get some work done tonight, then make a choice tomorrow.

i don't expect to leave the house for a few days, at least. i just hope i don't get too cold, down here. even with the window wide open, and my thermometer showing a comfortable 28 degrees celsius, i can still feel the a/c sometimes and i don't like it at all.