i swear there's been a thyssenkrupp van (they still have an elevator company in north america, and that's what the van says - thyssenkrupp elevators) following me around for years. it shows up in the strangest places. consistently.

it followed me from ottawa to windsor.

this stuff will come up in the alter-reality, if i can find it, and they don't imprison me, first.

but how many of you knew the nazis owned a large island in the detroit river, on the canadian side? were there uboats? scary shit...

https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/12/today-fighting-island-is-privately.html

was ollie a cop?

probably.

he had a sweet apartment downtown, and no apparent job.

and, if he was, what do you think his organizing program was really about?

there was another likely cop - that i dubbed 'coach' - that claimed he was working on an "activist network". the purpose was for organizing, of course. right...

these cops knew i was smart, and seemed to see me as a "leader", but they didn't get the concept of non-hierarchical organizing, or my particularly strong insistence on it. ollie the cop is trying to co-opt me...

https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/12/ollie-i-like-going-through-my-media.html

coffee.

i like coffee...

i've almost never drank by myself, ever, in my whole life, either. i can count the number of times on one hand.

it's something i just don't like to do....

i think the last time i had a drink by myself was december, 2013.

so, i'm not drinking down here by myself, either.

as of right now, i really don't have any plans to smoke anything at all until march, at the earliest. i think i can hold off on the tobacco until then.

and, we'll see what the realities are around buying legal marijuana on either side of the border at that time and whether or not i can cut the tobacco out without being a pain in the ass to the people around me.

i tend to buy a pack or two if i'm at the bar for a long period, so i'm not bumming them.

but, with that singular exception put aside, as frequent as it might be in the summer months when i'm out, i haven't bought a pack of cigarettes to smoke casually since the end of 2017, when i got stressed out during the first move.

i'm not joking - i was literally straight-edge for ten months, and i've almost been straight-edge-except-at-concerts since may. the exceptions are that i've been to toronto three times, and brought back a gram or two of pot each time and that i may bum a smoke or two here and there when i'm grocery shopping, because the city fucking stinks, anyways. but, the second caveat is related to the first - if i stop smoking at concerts, i'll stop bumming them when i'm shopping.

and, i have never smoked anything in the basement i'm in. at all.

it's now been four years since i quit smoking, habitually.

i repeat: i have not been a regular smoker, now, for four years.

fwiw, i've currently had zero cigarettes this year. i don't do resolutions, but the conditions are, indeed, in place to cut consumption down to something very close to nil.

i went completely straight edge for ten months last year, remember - no alcohol, no pot, no tobacco. i've really been almost completely straight edge between shows, since. i do like to get stoned at concerts and that won't change, but i don't see any particular reason why i couldn't cut the tobacco out completely at this point, and i'm kind of leaning in that direction.

i'm likely to get more pissy about this over the next few months, not less.

i don't know why exactly, but the last few days were relatively short. the burning smell this week is burning matches, which i guess is a little bit sulphur-y. i don't know...

maybe satan's hanging out, wants me to come up and say hi? somebody tell him to fuck off, or at least go take a shower. he reeks.

maybe it's the goat shit.

maybe i'm being silly.

as mentioned, i've been showering more frequently to get a handle on my hair and it might be part of what's making me sleepy - all of the hot water, all of the standing still. like falling asleep in a hot tub...

i'm guessing that my cyber-attacker/stalker (that's really what this is. stalking. actual stalking.) is reading this, and i don't want to hand out too much information. but, s/he's probably realized that i turned the firewall up another notch, and that it seems to be working. i've deleted some more cat files, to further frustrate the update process. the reboots seem to have stopped. for now.

but, i noticed this morning that word was listening over udp. what? was it connecting to a dns server? word listening when i have the updates dismantled is weird enough, but why udp?

it was listening on a local port, but still. see, they seem to be particularly focused on trying to get the writing by the undercover officers cleared out of the master document....

this kind of freaked me out, so i spent the night checking for data corruption on the files that were opened and have convinced myself of their integrity. i'm now ready to go to the next thing.

i'll have a tcpview window open as i go, and will check it periodically for odd connections.

so, let's hope i can get this done by the next sleep.