ok.

i should be something like -0.5, not -1.9.

-1.9 is more on par with somebody in their 80s.

so, what do i do about this?

ok.

so, the bmd numbers are standard deviations from the average density of a healthy 30 year-old.

i'm not 30 years old, and some bone loss is inevitable. so, i should be some distance away from the mean, at 40 years old.

what are "normal" bmd numbers for a 40 year old?

the good news is that the fit test was negative.

the bad news was that the bmd was terrible. -1.9. that's technically osteopenia, but practically osteoporosis.

i'm 40 years old.

over the last several years, i have gone through incredible lengths to try to get my testicles removed, to try to increase my testosterone suppression and to ensure that i'm getting usable, absorbable estrogen. the system has blocked me every step of the way...

and, now i have osteoporosis.

it is probably not a coincidence that my teeth started eating away at the same time that i went back down to 100 mg/day of cyproterone. and, while i don't have the ability to prove it, i'm entirely convinced that the declining estrogen is also at the root of the iron absorption problems.

i need to sleep on this.

i'd rather stick with netanyahu than deal with naftali bennett.

all you can do for right now is 

(1) send a letter to the company explaining your concerns. in theory, if they get dozens of more letters from people that support dogs than from people that want to get rid of them, they should reverse the ban. and, send the letters to all of the companies, not just the ones in canada.

(2) while you're waiting, boycott companies that ban dogs.

but, you have to realize that this struggle exists before you can react to it. you don't realize it, and that's at the crux of the problem.

out of all the things we could be concerning ourselves with in this techno-dystopia, right?

and, it's just going to get worse as one basic western cultural norm after another ends up challenged by cultures with more buying power than ours.

we're going to have to refight battle after battle that we fought and won hundreds of years ago.

and, it's going to slow us down, as we spin in place, for who knows how long.

secularism will win in the end, it always does. but, we could be in for decades or centuries of stupid bickering, in the mean time.

and that's really my perspective on this: these are dumb concerns that i don't want to bother with, and that i resent being forced to deal with.

do you want to fight with people about whether dogs are allowed on planes or not?

i don't.

but, now we have to.

depressingly. annoyingly. frustratingly....

like, did you think that all the muslims were going to come to north america and get pet dogs when they got here?

i mean, c'mon.

what the fuck.

didn't they recently pass a "bill of rights" for airline patients?

my hunch is this: there are certain cultures that don't like dogs, and they whined and complained until they got banned. these cultures have more market power than northern european culture, so they won and got to enforce their values on everybody else. these are the kinds of changes in culture that we're going to have to get used to, if we continue to allow competing cultures to invade and dominate us - which we seem to be happy to do.

while some legal action is probably justified in the long run, what i'd suggest for now is voting with your wallet and picking transit options that allow for pets, whether they're classified as "support animals" or not.

i'd rather ban hijabs than dogs, myself. but, i don't have the money to make those choices.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/traveller-caught-by-surprise-after-air-canada-bans-emotional-support-animals-1.6048479

today's post is my 6th record, inri063.

these are all songs that were written with the intent of sean singing over them, and then reclaimed, completed and remastered over 2014/2015. the elephant in the womb indicates the gestation period - this is a behemoth that was a long time coming, and is only surpassed by my upcoming and still gestating records.

the posts over the last several days have slowly built up to this, and i think i've said all i can say about each of these tracks. but, i'm pretty proud of this as a piece of abstract electronic music and am excited to finally finish the follow-up.

=====

the idea of a second jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj record was not something that remotely crossed my mind until i started seriously analysing my work from 2002. that was a separate idea; rabit is wolf separated it from the trivial group. however, remixed instrumental tracks over the rabit is wolf period slowly collected to the point that there was enough to justify a whole record. that wasn't a conscious choice at the outset, but it seems to be the conceptual framework collected on the record. i toyed with the idea of releasing it as a rabit remix record, but my influence over it is far too lopsided. 

the thematic linkage with the first jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj record is a tendency to lean towards more "serious" ideas. there are strong influences from a few different types of classical music, including jazz, as well as some more modern electronic and noise influences. however, these songs lean more towards more palatable rock or techno based song structures and are less dependent on existing scores. 

the stories for these songs are diverse and explained in more detail on the track pages. 

these tracks are all based on existing demos from 2001-2002 that were initially intended to be completed with vocal parts and were remixed from july, 2014 to may, 2015 as purely instrumental recordings. released may 2, 2015. disc finalized as lp014 on nov 21, 2017. this is my sixth official record; as always, please use headphones. 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2001, 2002, 2014, 2015, 2017). 

released december 1, 2002 

j - electric & acoustic guitars, electric bass guitar, effects, synths, electric air reed organ, digital piano, flute, voice, electronic drum kit, drum programming, drum manipulations, drum sampling, orchestral sequencing, sampling, loops, equalization, digital wave editing, sound design, production, composition. 

sean - harmonica (2), melody (6) 

greg - drum performance sample source (4) 

the various rendered electronic orchestras include tuba, french horn, trombone, trumpet, english horn, saxophone, oboe, clarinet, bassoon, flute, orchestra hit, melodic toms, timpani, orchestral drum set, piano, agogo, tubular bells, glockenspiel, koto, violin, viola, cello, contrabass and various full string sections. it also includes choir.