so, i'm starting to think i have a problem with my thyroid.

"if i can't dance..."

today's post is inri065, which is the last track in the pile of pre-trip tracks that were written out into midi compositions, and so is sort of a jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj composition, but also is a rabit loose end and a pivot into the trivial group, all at the same time. you'll notice that none of the tracks with multiple developed midi reworkings ended up with finished rabit versions (although a few had demos), so there's more continuity here with what i was doing in 2001 than what i was doing in 2002. nonetheless, this is also the climax of the first trivial group symphony and that's where it always was and ends up in the end.

my life was changing, and i was fully cognizant of it - i was sort of rushing to finish these ideas before i got up and left, which i needed to do. in hindsight, it seems insane, but i needed to shake my life up, and i don't regret doing it, even if things were never the same when i got back. there's that contradiction that comes up in capitalist economies between maximizing individual happiness and maximizing materialist conditions - something not even marx really had his head around right. i had everything i could have wanted, but i was living with this knife dangling over my head, these time restraints related to expectations around traditional employment that i neither had any interest or intent on following through with, and some kind of empty hope that i could get out of it. so, what i wanted was for things to stay how they were, but i know i'd have to escape in order for that to actually happen.

so, there's a feeling of kind of running out of time here, of tying things up, of closing things down - and of moving on. of getting out while i still can...

the remixes came together at the start of 2015, after i had finished transcribing it from the percussion tracks i had from 2003.

reflections is preceded almost everywhere by a guitar jam called algebra (sometimes al-jabr) that is intended as a statement of solidarity with the secularist and democratic movements in iraq in the face of a vicious bombing campaign intended to destroy the country. it is not a statement of solidarity with islam, with muslim belief systems or with islamist political movements - it is solidarity with normal people, not solidarity with abstract ideals. algebra is of course an arabic term that is ubiquitous in modern math and science and translates to "solving for the unknown", something i felt was necessary at the time. no, most iraqis weren't islamic extremists - they were just normal people like you and me. so, let's sing a song and dance a little to celebrate our commonalities and stop othering each other. apologies to peter gabriel, really.

while the narrative has blurred substantively and the media hasn't helped it by trying to normalize islamicism rather than give voice to secularists on the ground, my positions have not changed much. i remain in solidarity with the apostates and opposed to extremism from any direction. and, i still advocate dancing - so long as the fascistic islamic authorities are not informed, as they may chop off our heads if they find out.

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some time in late 2002, sean sent me a message over msn or icq requesting that we begin a song based on looped birds chirping. i thought his idea was kind of cliched, but i took to working around his suggestions by converting them into something more musically expressive. i didn't want to write a song that literally climaxes around birds chirping, but i was willing to write something tonal that evoked the feeling of birds chirping. 

at the time, i had my sister's electronic piano downstairs. she had a miniature grand upstairs. it was initially written on the keyboard with a very strange timing, which the scorewriter had difficulties capturing - partly because i was inconsistent in performing it. the piece was greatly simplified as it was arranged. 

however, i believe the piece sat for a long time before the second section was added to it. 

sean and i didn't talk much over the next few months, and the truth is that i just never brought this piece up to him. by the time it was finished, i had firmly placed it in my successor project, the trivial group. it was initially dedicated to sean as a part of the going away disc (reflections (inri074)), but that's really as close as this ever got to being a rabit tune. 

i don't have clear memories around composing it, although circumstantial evidence makes it very likely that this happened in the late winter and early spring of 2003. i vaguely recall playing it on the grand upstairs, which could have only happened after sarah moved home to the outer suburbs to get ready for the trip. this was around march. i do remember recording the guitar parts and percussion parts, and am convinced this was in the spring due to memories of the spring sun hitting the bowls. the april 20th date may be a little late, but i have every reason to believe that this was not finished until after exams that year. 

the percussion sections in the track are notable. the metallic sounds were created by smashing cutlery into a metal bowl, whereas the woody sounds were created by "playing" a pen on a desk. the track also includes hand claps. 

these percussion parts were not notated until 2015. this was a careful, lengthy process that required a lot of careful listening, and a bit of napkin math. notating the percussion allowed for a more comprehensive exploration of the track over midi. 

i've included the midi files of the original composition, if you'd like to mess with it on your own. 

written and recorded in early 2003. transcribed, slightly rearranged, remixed repeatedly and re-rendered repeatedly over may, 2015. released on may 16, 2015. expanded & finalized on nov 25, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

the first track appears as a component on my ninth record, {e} (inri08x): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/e 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2003, 2015, 2017). 

released april 20, 2003 

j - guitars, effects, bass, synth, voice, bowls, claps, tables, ebow, orchestral sequencing, drum & other programming, loops, digital wave editing, composition, production. 

the various rendered electronic orchestras include synth pad, synth bass, synthesizer, mellotron, fingered bass guitar, picked electric guitar, bowed electric guitar, guitar noises (fret noises, knocks, pick scrapes), violin, viola, contrabass, cello, string section, brass section, piano, celesta, xylophone, marimba, vibraphone, glockenspiel, tubular bells, woodblock, mallet, electronic drum kit, jazz drum kit, orchestral drum kit and choir.