hi.

i'm running late today but will be coming in soon. i suppose i was not clear.

1) i do not have any pills of cyproterone left, at all. 0 pills.

2) i cannot bill an rx for 100 mg/day because i have already billed the insurance company for that much, up to mid october.

3) therefore, if you do not update the rx to 200 mg/day, i will effectively be forced to detransition.

4) however, i will kill myself before i allow myself to detransition. that is a statement of fact.

5) i have been taking 200 mg/day since early june, so you would not be updating my rx to a new dosage but merely correcting it to reflect the existing reality.

cyproterone is not habit forming and, according to this document, dosages up to 300 mg/day are considered to be safe, without side effects:

https://pdf.hres.ca/dpd_pm/00022190.PDF

nobody has ever overdosed from this drug in the history of the universe. it cannot be done.

further, usage of this drug is expected to be short term, as i expect an orchidectomy in the upcoming months, as soon as i can find somebody willing to do it. i have received funding from the ministry and will discuss this with dr. ====== when he returns to the office.

the reason i increased my dosage is that i was experiencing unwanted side effects of continued testosterone production, specifically unwanted erections at random periods of time. so, i found myself getting erections when i was reading at home, and experiencing a strong urge to masturbate as a result of it.

i stopped masturbating over ten years ago, and have experienced almost no urge to do so until recently. i do not want to experience the urge to masturbate at all, or experience any sort of sexual arousal for any reason at any time.

as i refuse to masturbate, as it makes me ashamed and embarrassed to do so after ten years of gender transition, the following side effects of increases in testosterone are as follows:

- difficulty focusing

- headaches

- crying attacks

- anxiety attacks

- outbursts of angry or violent behaviour

- over-exertion

- exhaustion

- eventual random orgasm without masturbating, and always against my will

these are extremely difficult moments that have led me to suicidal thoughts, and it will not be long before i act on them if i am not able to increase my testosterone suppression to a level that eliminates any further urges to masturbate.

i hope that coming in to your office to discuss the matter is enough to release the proper rx, which is four tablets a day (two tablets, twice daily).

if not, i will need to immediately transport myself to emergency, and may even ask you to call an ambulance for me to do so.

i am.

soon.

and, this, kids, is the real reason that we have central banks - to stop crooks like soros from defrauding taxpayers out of trillions of dollars, and sparking a recession in the process.

https://priceonomics.com/the-trade-of-the-century-when-george-soros-broke/

as an aside, i'm curious which other one of the seven dwarves is up next for promotion in this government.

i wouldn't trust chrystia freeland as far as i could throw her.

which, as it turns out, might be pretty far.

attacks on soros are not "anti-semitic conspiracy theories", but are rather concrete criticisms directed at somebody that is a known crook who has severely damaged the global financial system to the benefit of oligarchs the world over and should be held accountable for his rather substantive crimes against the working people of britain.

any crumbs he's thrown out to the peasants are entirely irrelevant in the face of everything he's done wrong.

and, tying freeland - a spokesperson for the global financial elite, an oligarch and most certainly on the payroll - is not just fair game but actually welcome.

i would like to see the ndp pick up on some of this stuff. they're the right people to offer this kind of criticism, not the conservatives.

because soros is just a philanthropist holocaust survivor, and not a crook that should be in jail for defrauding the british government for trillions of dollars.

soros is not an abstraction, he's a concrete example, although i frankly didn't even know he was jewish until right now.

this is a situation where the mp should stand her ground and tell the critics to fuck off.

and, yes - soros should be in jail.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/conservative-mp-under-fire-for-tweet-with-anti-semitic-undertones-1.5085645

all i ever said was that this was never going to work. none of it.

so, you need to take responsibility for your self, instead of telling other people what to do.

in theory, if we were all nurses, right? but, we're not. and that was obvious.

remember kids: there were two als from chicago in the 90s. 

al's old now.

"put on a mask, you fucker"

this is the world.

it's not working.

so, breathe!

breathe!

breathe!

breathe, you fucker!

so, they forced us to wear masks because standing six feet apart wasn't working.

now, the masks aren't working, either - which is probably as much about user error as anything else. you can't expect people to use masks correctly. you just can't...

so, what's next?

mandatory hazmat suits?

https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/coronavirus/canada-s-active-covid-19-case-number-is-rising-shortly-before-most-schools-reopen-1.5085281

so, i've added a few categories to the travel blog. this is going to be evolving, hopefully not too much.

1) the initial headphones posts are now at the travel blog, added as a transaction, which is the category that is addended. these posts were added:

november

https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/why-does-this-model-of-headphones-have.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/sent-to-sennheiser-support-via-online.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/i-wish-you-could-hear-how-good-these.html

https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/fw-neue-anfrage-aus-dem-sennheiser.html

https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/seem-to-be-gone-and-its-emergency.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/i-got-response-back-from-sennheiser.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/ok_7.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/re-fw-neue-anfrage-aus-dem-sennheiser.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/actually-i-think-its-obvious-that-i.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/lol.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/problem-it-seems-to-be-one-piece.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/yeah-on-second-thought-i-should-do-this.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/yeah-im-schizing-out.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/re-fw-neue-anfrage-aus-dem-sennheiser_7.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/although-this-seems-to-be-piece-i-need.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/see-it-would-be-stupid-to-solder-new.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/actually-this-is-exactly-what-i-need.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/re-fw-neue-anfrage-aus-dem-sennheiser_94.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/but-it-doesnt-seem-like-i-can-snap-them.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/re-fw-neue-anfrage-aus-dem-sennheiser_19.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-hd-440-ii-was-designed-to-be-user.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/re-fw-neue-anfrage-aus-dem-sennheiser_61.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/naw-not-good.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/getting-steves-to-pick-up-phone-has.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/well-maybe-they-were-on-lunch-actually.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/re-fw-neue-anfrage-aus-dem-sennheiser_84.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/fw-neue-anfrage-aus-dem-sennheiser_7.html

https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2013/11/re-fw-neue-anfrage-aus-dem-sennheiser_8.html

december

https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/12/headphones-have-arrived-at-post-office.html

2) stomach ache posts are now at the travel blog
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/i-just-got-my-quarterly-stomach-ache.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2014/01/i-didnt-feel-that-arctic-air-mass-come.html

3) climate change & weather-related posts are now at the travel blog
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/10/that-crispy-basement-air-how-i-missed.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/this-is-incoherent.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/this-is-little-clearer.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/12/well-they-predicted-ridiculously-cold.html
https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2014/01/its.html

4) a/c posts are now at the travel blog
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2014/01/it-seems-like-guy-upstairs-has-moved-to.html

5) quitting smoking & drug-related posts are now at the travel blog
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/good-morning-this-morning-brings-me-to.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/i-was-actually-wondering-on-whim-if.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/12/jessica-amber-murray.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2014/01/mixing-records-only-has-one-rule-do-not.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2014/01/that-was-unscheduled-break.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2014/01/in-1956-american-medical-association.html

6) neighbourood animal posts are also now at the travel blog
https://jessicamurraytravelblog.blogspot.com/2013/07/sung-with-bluesy-swagger.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/ive-got-whole-eco-system-out-here-on-my.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/10/to-very-rude-ladybug-that-just-tried-to.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/10/ive-been-watching-this-spider-here-for.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/11/so-i-finish-doing-dishes-after-making.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/12/roach-situation.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/12/re-roach-situation.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/12/re-roach-situation_27.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/12/re-roach-situation_28.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/12/i-just-caught-centipede-eating-hair-in.html

7) the following mail posts were added to the travel blog:
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/mail.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/10/its-time-to-stop-dealing-with-banks.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2014/01/im-sorry-but-when-i-see-waves-of-people.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2014/01/im-just-wondering-why-theyre-bothering.html

8) the following space travel posts were added to the travel blog:
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/10/yes.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/theyre-doing-their-best-to-come-up-with.html

9) the following missed purchase posts were added to the travel blog;
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/there-is-now-fridge-in-my-kitchen.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/more-fridge-action.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/dresser-shopping-is-proving-irritating.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/you-have-replied-to-dresser-ad-on-kijiji.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/re-reply-to-your-dresser-ad-on-kijiji.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/re-reply-to-your-dresser-ad-on-kijiji_20.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/re-reply-to-your-dresser-ad-on-kijiji_89.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/re-reply-to-your-dresser-ad-on-kijiji_74.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/re-reply-to-your-dresser-ad-on-kijiji_28.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/jessica-amber-murray-im-about-to-buy.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/jessica-amber-murray-shes-not-going-to.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/08/not-enough-voltage-out-of-hub-for-mp3.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/09/surplus-wood-cut-to-scale-for-corner.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/09/screwing-in-l-brackets-and-putting-fan.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/09/screwing-in-other-l-brackets.html

10) the following bicycle posts were added to the travel blog:
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/08/bicycle.html

11) the following food blog posts were added to the travel blog:
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/07/sweet-n-sour-hawaiian-pizza-spaghetti.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/07/with-cheese-noodles.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/08/so-i-decided-to-try-new-perogie-flavour.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/08/i-inherited-large-amount-of-raisins.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/08/pudding-raisins.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/09/improvised-early-morning-meal-peaches.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-nice-pretty-pink-tint-becomes.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/daily-smoothie.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/how-to-consume-inherited-nutella-when.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/12/melted-nutella-bananas-strawberry-jam.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/12/so-i-just-watched-three-hour-mit-food.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/12/in-terms-of-actual-fruit-content.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2014/01/wow.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2014/01/you-know-i-just-tossed-bag-of-garbage.html

11) the following time zone posts were added to the travel blog:
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/12/its-nice-to-realize-that-my-bedroom-is.html

12) the following missed reflection posts were also added to the travel blog:
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/07/i-had-absolutely-no-intention-of.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/moving-rental-request.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/08/its-finally-time-to-step-away-from.html
https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/09/did-it-really-take-two-weeks-to-finish.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/10/i-had-to-firmly-end-things-after-she.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2014/01/ive-been-watching-this-come-up-for-few.html

i also found some typos in the january archive for the music & deathtokoalas blogs that i had no choice but to fix, and i went back and fixed some typesetting errors across the july & august blogs (which decreased the total page counts) and also in the november politics blogs.

so, i've updated all of the files at the bandcamp site (07/13-01/14):

i've also updated the smashwords site:

i've updated the lulu site as well:

& the drive, finally, too:

posts to add:

july:
20: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/07/sweet-n-sour-hawaiian-pizza-spaghetti.html
20: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/07/with-cheese-noodles.html
31: https://jessicamurraytravelblog.blogspot.com/2013/07/sung-with-bluesy-swagger.html
31: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/07/i-had-absolutely-no-intention-of.html

aug:
3: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/08/bicycle.html
15: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/08/so-i-decided-to-try-new-perogie-flavour.html
18: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/there-is-now-fridge-in-my-kitchen.html
18: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/more-fridge-action.html
20: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/dresser-shopping-is-proving-irritating.html
20: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/you-have-replied-to-dresser-ad-on-kijiji.html
20: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/re-reply-to-your-dresser-ad-on-kijiji.html
20: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/re-reply-to-your-dresser-ad-on-kijiji_20.html
20: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/re-reply-to-your-dresser-ad-on-kijiji_89.html
20: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/re-reply-to-your-dresser-ad-on-kijiji_74.html
20: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/re-reply-to-your-dresser-ad-on-kijiji_28.html
20: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/jessica-amber-murray-im-about-to-buy.html
20: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/jessica-amber-murray-shes-not-going-to.html
26: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/moving-rental-request.html
26: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/08/i-inherited-large-amount-of-raisins.html
26: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/08/pudding-raisins.html
31: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/08/not-enough-voltage-out-of-hub-for-mp3.html

sept:
4: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/09/improvised-early-morning-meal-peaches.html
6: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/09/surplus-wood-cut-to-scale-for-corner.html
6: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/09/screwing-in-l-brackets-and-putting-fan.html
6: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/09/screwing-in-other-l-brackets.html

oct:
23: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/10/that-crispy-basement-air-how-i-missed.html
29: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/10/yes.html

nov
4: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-nice-pretty-pink-tint-becomes.html
8: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/daily-smoothie.html
11: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/how-to-consume-inherited-nutella-when.html
17: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/this-is-incoherent.html
17: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/11/this-is-little-clearer.html

dec
5: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/12/melted-nutella-bananas-strawberry-jam.html
5: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/12/so-i-just-watched-three-hour-mit-food.html
18: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/12/in-terms-of-actual-fruit-content.html
24: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/12/its-nice-to-realize-that-my-bedroom-is.html

jan
7: https://deathtokoalas.blogspot.com/2014/01/its.html
12: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2014/01/wow.html
22: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2014/01/in-1956-american-medical-association.html
23: https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2014/01/ive-been-watching-this-come-up-for-few.html
23: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2014/01/im-sorry-but-when-i-see-waves-of-people.html
26: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2014/01/im-just-wondering-why-theyre-bothering.html
31: https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2014/01/you-know-i-just-tossed-bag-of-garbage.html

things to do.

- run back through each sequentially, adding and updating as it goes, by month.

were these posted in an errata?:

https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2013/12/i-just-clued-in-that-distance-one-lives.html

https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.com/2014/01/classic-essay.html


- archive from april on; catch up
- finish final final first reconstruction phase update
- go back and update all noise trade links to lulu or smashwords links, with drive links. need to finalize files for drive, first.
- rebuild for 2014--2018
- blog archive for 2018? on
- facebook clean-up & archive
- liner notes for january, 2014
- payhip isos

again: the issue with mmt is not inflation. the idea that printing currency leads to hyperinflation has been thoroughly debunked, and don pitts doesn't seem to know a "mainstream economist" from the friedmanite fringe - his opinion should be taken very lightly, on the matter.

the reason mmt is called mmt is because it reflects how monetary policy is done in real life, already - not over the last two years, but over the last thirty. the guy that really invented this was ronald fucking reagan.

the issue with mmt is that the idea that a country like canada has truly sovereign debt creation is somewhat naive, in the context of the existing neo-liberal order, as run by the imf and the world bank. the united states has total sovereignty here, and countries like russia and china have seized de facto sovereignty. but, countries like canada and the uk, while better off than greece was in the eurozone, are still subject to severe fiscal restraint by the international bodies, under threat of the dire consequence of "imf restructuring".

so, while mmt is economically sound, it is of questionable value in the real world. our policy leaders need to be looking a few cycles ahead, to a return of a stephen harper like figure that will willfully embrace the global bodies and do whatever they say.....if trudeau is even a substantive break from that, at all, in the first place.

further, we've been through this before. what happened in the 90s was not a result of local mismanagement. there was no economically coherent reason we had to balance the budget, we just had the imf down our necks threatening us with reforms and sanctions if we didn't comply. and, that's what this government needs to try to avoid.

what's scaring me is that an oligarch like chrystia freeland may reverse the logic, and essentially try to starve the beast as she sells the country off to her banker buddies in the financial industry.

this is the only valid observation in the article:

If Canada were the only one doing this, the loonie would likely lose value (the imf may threaten structural reforms or ratings downgrades), he said. But as countries around the world all do the same thing, so long as the Canadian central bank doesn't get ahead of the pack, there is little to worry about.

fair enough.

but, this is playing with fire.

and, my official position is that i think we should raise taxes to take a bite out of it while we still can.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/economics-modern-monetary-theory-spending-1.5704124