hi.
i'm running late today but will be coming in soon. i suppose i was not clear.
1) i do not have any pills of cyproterone left, at all. 0 pills.
2) i cannot bill an rx for 100 mg/day because i have already billed the insurance company for that much, up to mid october.
3) therefore, if you do not update the rx to 200 mg/day, i will effectively be forced to detransition.
4) however, i will kill myself before i allow myself to detransition. that is a statement of fact.
5) i have been taking 200 mg/day since early june, so you would not be updating my rx to a new dosage but merely correcting it to reflect the existing reality.
cyproterone is not habit forming and, according to this document, dosages up to 300 mg/day are considered to be safe, without side effects:
nobody has ever overdosed from this drug in the history of the universe. it cannot be done.
further, usage of this drug is expected to be short term, as i expect an orchidectomy in the upcoming months, as soon as i can find somebody willing to do it. i have received funding from the ministry and will discuss this with dr. ====== when he returns to the office.
the reason i increased my dosage is that i was experiencing unwanted side effects of continued testosterone production, specifically unwanted erections at random periods of time. so, i found myself getting erections when i was reading at home, and experiencing a strong urge to masturbate as a result of it.
i stopped masturbating over ten years ago, and have experienced almost no urge to do so until recently. i do not want to experience the urge to masturbate at all, or experience any sort of sexual arousal for any reason at any time.
as i refuse to masturbate, as it makes me ashamed and embarrassed to do so after ten years of gender transition, the following side effects of increases in testosterone are as follows:
- difficulty focusing
- headaches
- crying attacks
- anxiety attacks
- outbursts of angry or violent behaviour
- over-exertion
- exhaustion
- eventual random orgasm without masturbating, and always against my will
these are extremely difficult moments that have led me to suicidal thoughts, and it will not be long before i act on them if i am not able to increase my testosterone suppression to a level that eliminates any further urges to masturbate.
i hope that coming in to your office to discuss the matter is enough to release the proper rx, which is four tablets a day (two tablets, twice daily).
if not, i will need to immediately transport myself to emergency, and may even ask you to call an ambulance for me to do so.