i seem to have skipped whatever programming that young people typically go through in regards to this, and it's just left me unable to function.

so, today, i live on disability for "social anxiety disorder". and, the fact that i can't pass the sjt is deeply instructive in understanding why the diagnosis is too weak, but on the right path.

i'll argue that the reason i can't make sense of their rules is that they're irrational.

but, that's just going to get me fired.

it's one thing to reject business normality, and i certainly do, and then kind of fudge it, because you have to.

but, i honestly couldn't pretend to follow the rules if i tried - i legitimately don't understand how to behave in the workplace, and if you explained it to me slowly, it'd just come across to me as irrational. i could no doubt memorize a set of rules, but i couldn't deduct them, logically, from first principles; i'd have to be constantly undoing my own deductions.

no, i need to double down on the point - i was never able to hold a job for more than a month due to my social skills in the past, and that's only no doubt gotten worse. there's no way at all i'd get anywhere in the world the way it is, nowadays. i'm not capable of adjusting to it, and i'd argue it reflects more poorly on the cultural values we're upholding right now, as a society, than it does on me. the world is a sick place...

i'm not sure i would have taken the job if i had been successful through the process, but the part of the process i failed at repeatedly when i went through the government hiring process about 15 years ago (when i first graduated from university) was what they call the "situational judgement" test. this is a test about how you react in conflicts at work; it's a social skills evaluation. and, you just have to pass it....

i failed this government social skills test not once, not twice but three times. so, i aced the iq test, but i could not pass the social skills tests, and you can't move forward unless you do.

see, and i was just baffled by it, on top of it. i just found it utterly mystifying. after the second fail, i went through practice tests, and it just didn't make the slightest sense to me - i just got it wrong over and over and over. and, the thing is that i was never able to understand why i was getting these questions wrong, or what the right answers were. you could give me the right answer, and i wouldn't understand it.

i went back to school in 2008, but i basically gave up on employment at that point. it just became clear to me that i was a fish out of water in the business or government worlds, and i'd have to figure something else out.

i expect it'd just be worse now than it was then - i don't get them, and they don't get me and it's better if we leave it at that.

like, i went to disney world & universal studios when i was 10 kind of thing....

before 2013, i'd been to florida with my parents twice. that was the extent of my travels to the united states.

since 2013, i've been to michigan frequently, but have not ventured deeper into the united states than that.

this is frustrating because that kid has managed to confuse people about my politics. i don't want to copyright "deathtokoalas", which is a very unique handle - rather, i'd behoove people to be less pathetic. and, stealing the handles of others is pathetic. that kid is a sad, sad person and they should just stop.

i'm not banksy. i'm not trying to be obscure - i want you to be able to link back to my bandcamp site, specifically. there are two ways to tell if something is me or not:

1) i will link to it from this central site. if the link isn't presented here, it's probably not me.

2) there should be some way to get to some way to pay me, if you go to the about section or whatever. if you don't see any links to the bandcamp or lulu sites, it's probably not me.

again, i don't use twitter.

at all.

ever.

i initially disliked the character limit, and worried it was going to be a driver for the reduction of literacy rates in society (and was probably right, moreso than other platforms, because of the use by dumb bourgeois liberals that can't see their own stupidity in the mirror). nowadays, i wouldn't consider using a platform with such heavy-handed censorship. like, i wouldn't want to hang out in a place that has such heavy-handed rules.....

this is the only twitter site i've ever had:

https://twitter.com/dgkfgjklgjkgjka

twitter sites that use handles that are the same as me are being run by imposters. specifically, there's a teenager in new york that has stolen my handle.

i grew up in ottawa and moved to windsor (south detroit) in 2013. i've actually never been to new york.