Jessica Amber Murray
she's already gotten rid of all of his stuff. i didn't even get the chance to look through it. i was mostly interested in the cds, but there were a lot of other little things i may have wanted to keep. i'm hoping i can buy back some of the discs...
it's just mind-bogglingly inconsiderate.
mom
Who did?...You mean your stepmother?
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah. when a parent dies, it's sort of expected that the child will have the opportunity to look through things that may mean something to them. i just don't understand how she could have just tossed everything...
mom
That Really is very inconsiderate and really STINKS.
Jessica Amber Murray
like, he had all kinds of trophies and awards and stuff from sports leagues when he was a kid. i would have liked to keep a few of those. she's denying they even existed.
mom
That is HORRIBLE.
Jessica Amber Murray
it's just beyond any kind of vendetta. it's just fucking assholery. the level of asshole required is just...wow...
mom
Who has the things?
Jessica Amber Murray
how could *anybody* be such an asshole?
they're in the trash.
i'm sick of people blaming her mental problems. she's an asshole.
mom
Maybe your sister has some of his belongings too.
Jessica Amber Murray
well, she's been there. i guess she got a run through before it got tossed. still.....
i mean, if she does, she took the stuff that was meaningful to *her*. i don't want that stuff. i want the stuff that meant something to me. so, that kind of doesn't get us anywhere.
mom
I am so sorry for your horrible pain that you are experiencing right now.....
I can't really imagine....I have been fortunate so far to not be having to deal with the death of either my mother or father yet.
Think I will be dealing with the death of my own father soon...As he apparently is not doing so good these days. My mother on the other hand will outlive us all.....
Jessica Amber Murray
i mean, what should i have done here? she was giving me shit for talking money as he was dying, but she had given me a deadline to get my stuff out of her house. she can't have it both ways. further, i had asked her what his life expectancy was after going off the chemo and if i should be worried about him making it through the week or not and she told me he should still be alive when i get home. then i get an email when i'm working out the details on a place that i should come home right away. if i had come home right away with nothing, the stuff wouldn't have been out until past september. and i found a place i wanted. that was the smart thing to do, and the smart thing for her to do would be to realize it was the smart thing to do. it would have been impossible for me to go home AND get the stuff out in time, and i would have lost the place i like. i didn't say a word about any of his stuff when he was dying. i didn't think it was important then, i didn't want to sink to the level of groveling over his belongings as he's dying. i didn't bring up any kind of money or inheritance, she did. and then she broke the agreement within hours of him dying, presumably because she was upset that i didn't make it home in time, after she told me he was expected to last a least a few more weeks, and which i couldn't have reasonably done, anyways. should i have made a list of demands as he was struggling in his bed? should i have gone through his stuff in front of him? it's just fucking madness. but it's more than madness. i'm mad. legitimately. but i'm not an asshole. i would never, ever, ever do something like that, no matter how fucked i might be feeling. something like this is not mental instability. something like this is a rotten person, a person that is just bad to the core of their being...
mom
She must be dealing with her own hellish pain......When one is in such emotional pain like this(which, she must has been in for awhile now)....They are blind.
To others needs.
And perhaps even heartless...This type of being is one to be pitied really.....
Jessica Amber Murray
i said goodbye to my dad on the phone before i left. it was very dramatic. and it felt very final. my stepmother will probably live out the rest of her years sad and alone. i'm her current punching bag of choice. when i'm not around, she'll turn on my sister. and then the others in her life. she has a pattern - she lashes out at people. i don't like to pity people, i like to empathize with them. she just makes it very hard.
don hasn't called yet.
and your mother does look ridiculously good for her age. she seems to have lost a few years over the summer, strangely, she's lost some weight, too.
mom
He's supposed to call me first...He always gets into long drawn out conversations with his sister and her husband(Which, I have a problem with)....Don't love either one of them too much....But he will call. Yes, My mother is Gorgeous!.... Wish, I could look as good as her!....She just NEVER seems to age much at all.
Jessica Amber Murray
my other grandmother is still going pretty strong, too. she looks a little closer to her age, but she's going to be around for a while still...
mom
hope she is well.
Where the heck are those two birds anyways?
Jessica Amber Murray
dunno...
mom
lol...I am getting a bit impatient.
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, i think you've been waiting for over two hours now.
i wonder if there's something going on.
mom
Just checked my corded phone...I have to make sure it is still connected from time to time. Sometimes it get's itself stuck on the last call...But it is working fine.
I could have had a shower by now.
Oh well...
lol
Traffic doesn't appear to be too heavy..Although not sure from the slots what it's like?...Think...There must be alot of family stuff going on, I guess. She should be here soon though...I know she is very tired.
How come you didn't go to the eating there?
Jessica Amber Murray
the stepmother has requested that i do not enter her house. there is no rational explanation, other than that she's a bad person.
mom
They were all eating at the Raceway Carleton Slots.
I am going to go and kill her very soon!
your stepmother
Jessica Amber Murray
i went for lunch with his three sisters, his surviving brother, his mother and a bunch of other people....i don't know if you remember the dead uncle's friend k....my cousin (i've forgotten his name)...the oldest aunt’s wife...some other people i didn't know so well and then took the bus home. i guess i just wasn't invited.
mom
Smurfalina is here now!
I just buzzed her in.
Jessica Amber Murray
k
mom
Do you want to talk to her?
On here?
Jessica Amber Murray
i can wait until later, over email. i'd really rather she doesn't read this.
mom
She's not actually inside the unit yet.
K....Love you!...
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. but, yeah. she has flappy lips. you don't need to tell her what i said about the stepmother.
i'll talk to you later.