i've had this problem for years around references in a wide variety of contexts, and i've never been able to figure out what the point of it is.

if i'm applying for a new job, it's because i don't like my current job, right? so, why would you ask the people i'm bailing on for their opinion of me? i obviously don't like them, so what difference does it make if they like me or not? why wouldn't you ask me of my opinion of them? isn't that what's important?

likewise, if i'm looking for a new apartment, it's because i don't like the one i'm in. so, why would you ask the landlord i'm moving away from? of what value is their opinion of me? why wouldn't you ask me what i think of them? isn't that the important thing?

i'm a clean non-smoker that is trying to get out of a dirty apartment building that is full of drug addicts and heavy smokers, with a landlord that sells drugs to the tenants and refuses to address the smoke complaints. i've sued and won a rent reduction and an end to the lease. yet, they want to call this landlord and ask them for a reference? it's surreal & ridiculous.

the landlord should be arrested and put in jail, not quizzed on their opinion of the situation.

but, this isn't unexpected, and i'm well aware that i'm going to need to find somebody that isn't interested in references and/or is willing to look at actual evidence, rather than ask the problem in the scenario what their opinion is.